Work Text:
A cool breeze washed over Five, providing a moment of relief to their sweaty face and neck. They had been going for nearly 30 minutes or so. The mission was a simple medicine run.
"Alright Five, you should see a pharmacy up ahead, maybe a mile or so up the road. It’s in a green zone, so you shouldn’t get into any trouble. No zoms in site for a couple miles in each direction,” Sam’s voice rang in their ears, calm yet cautious. Just how they liked their operator when out in the field. Five heard a quiet knock from the background. “Uh, come in.” Sam stuttered, confusion apparent in his voice. “Oh, Dr. Meyers. Five’s out on that run you requested.”
“ Hey Five, thanks a lot for doing this. Supplies have been running low, and the medications I’m looking for haven’t been found in any of the closer pharmacies. I was hoping this location would have what I need. I’ll let you know what to look for once you get there.”
There had been a large number of refugees these past couple of weeks, and most of them came to Abel requiring medical attention. It was no surprise supplies were low.
Once Five reached the building, they opened the door, which let out a horribly loud groan, and began jogging down the halls in search of the storage room. The flashlight in their hand wobbled with each step, casting a jerky path of light to follow. Dust coated every surface, and their footsteps only brought it up behind them in a thick cloud.
“Alright Five, look for a room of shelves or cabinets. You know the drill,” Dr. Meyer’s voice was focused. She and Sam must have been watching the headcam footage carefully for signs of zombies.
Five approached a door at the end of the hallways with an “employees only” sign taped onto it. It looked promising enough, but the door wouldn’t budge. “It’s locked,” they informed Sam and Maxine. Five took a step back, bracing for a second before kicking the door open. They let out a soft curse as two shamblers stumbled towards them. Five pulled the axe from their belt and swung at the first one, hitting it square in the forehead.
“Nice hit, Five!” Sam cheered, though Five could sense the nervousness beneath his encouragement.
The second zombie soon followed the first on the ground with a solid hit in the temple. Five stepped over their white coat-clad bodies and entered the room they had been occupying.
“Oh my God,” Maxine gasped.
“Oh my God is right,” Five laughed lightly. The room was filled wall-to-wall with fully-stocked shelves of medicine. They glanced at the labels as they passed. “Diphenhydramine, Lisinopril, Furosemide, Dexamethasone… What exactly am I looking for, Doctor?” Five asked as they grabbed a few boxes of Acetaminophen and Hydrocodone.
“We’re always needing antibiotics and pain meds. Anything that ends in “cillin” or “cycline” or “codone” or starts with “cef”. Maybe antifungals if you can find them. They end in “azole”. Specifically, we’re in dire need of a couple specific antibiotics: Acyclovir and Azithromycin,” Dr. Meyers enunciated carefully.
“Yeah, simple task, eh Five? Just read every label and-“
“Well, it’s a good thing you’ve been helping me in the hospital, Five. You should already be familiar with those drugs,” Maxine snapped.
She was right. Five had spent most of their free time sorting medications and helping Dr. Meyers chart her appointments. Those last two drugs sounded awfully familiar, but Five couldn’t quite place them until they found them on a labelled shelf.
“Dr. Meyers, are you suggesting Abel is currently suffering from an outbreak in STDs?!” Five asked while scooping as many boxes into their bag as would fit. They heard Sam’s surprised sputtering and Maxine’s sigh over the headset.
“Unfortunately, it seems that the zombie outbreak has caused people to forget the importance of protection. As Abel’s population of young men and women grow, so do the number of visits for genital herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. Just… remember that I have a drawer full of condoms and birth control that, although not perfect, are better than nothing.”
Five laughed as Sam stammered nervously in the background. They could only imagine his beet-red face and the sweat beading along his hairline. “Yes, Mom,” Five teased. “I don’t know how many times you’ve told me that since I arrived at Abel.”
“The last thing a runner needs is an itchy genital region. It’s completely natural for people to feel increased sex drives during times of stress with the bountiful amount of free time we all have nowadays,” Maxine said smoothly. Now it was Five’s turn for their face to turn red, despite nobody being in the room with them.
“Thanks, Maxine. I get enough excitement out here, but I appreciate the concern.” Five grabbed a few boxes of ointments and a few handfuls of bandages before the backpack was nearly overflowing. “Alright, I’ve got all that I can carry here. Are the exits clear?”
“Sam, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Sex isn’t something to be ashamed of, especially with over half the human race currently undead,” Maxine’s voice was oozing with amusement at this point. She was clearly enjoying this.
“I- that’s not- it’s just…. Is this really an appropriate time to talk about this? Five, just go back the way you came. It’s clear outside, but keep your eyes peeled for any more zoms inside.”
“You’re right, I should just wait for Five to return, and then I can talk to you both in person.”
“That- that’s not what I had in mind! I don’t think that’s-“
“Thanks, Five. I’ll meet you at the front gate when you return. We’ll continue this conversation then.” Maxine cut off the anxious man before leaving him in a state of shock alone in the shack.
It was minutes before he spoke up.
“Uh, okay Five… You’re doing well. There are some zoms at your 8 o’clock, but you’re outpacing them. You should be home in no time,” he said quietly.
“Thanks Sam. Can’t wait,” Five said sarcastically with a small laugh.
When Five returned, Dr. Meyers was there waiting for them as promised. Five couldn’t help but notice the mischievous smile on her face.
“Dr. Meyers, you’re going to give Sam a heart attack,” Five laughed as they handed over the backpack. Maxine quickly rummaged through its contents, giving a nod of approval as they walked towards the comms shack.
“I know, it’s very amusing,” she grinned.
Upon opening the door to the shack, Five saw Sam sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. “Who is it?” he asked cautiously.
“I’m back, Sam. Five’s with me. Why don’t you go sit in the other chair, Five? I’ve been sitting all day.”
Five pulled the empty chair away from the desk and turned it around to face Maxine, briefly making eye contact with Sam. He groaned before turning his own chair around. With both of their arms crossed, Sam and Five almost looked like two children getting scolded. Maxine set Five’s backpack on the ground and rummaged through the pockets of her dirty white coat.
She tossed a box first towards Five and then another at Sam. Five clenched their jaw to keep from grimacing. Sam just stared at it, his eyebrows furrowed like he wasn’t sure how best to respond.
“Condoms. Unopened. Hopefully they weren’t exposed to excess heat, otherwise they’ll likely be useless, but like I said earlier, it’s better than nothing,” Maxine said. She always enjoyed teaching moments like this.
Silence. Five and Sam were frozen, their eyes glued to the packages.
“You do know how to put them on, right?” Maxine asked, finally breaking the thick silence. Five burst out into a fit of giggles as Sam let out an exasperated sigh.
“Yeah, I do!” He said loudly before placing the box on his desk. His face was bright red.
“It’s nothing personal. Most schools have very inadequate sexual education. You wouldn’t believe the things patients tell me.” Maxine laughed, shaking her head at a memory. “Just be careful around here. You both are extremely valuable to Abel, and I’m sure you understand that.” Neither Sam nor Five replied, but at least they were both making eye contact with her now. “I wouldn’t describe either of you as promiscuous, so I’m sure I won’t have difficulty convincing you that monogamy with a trusted partner is the safest option. Now, I’m not trying to insinuate anything, but it is my understanding that the two of you spend a lot of time together outside of business hours.”
Five and Sam tensed up simultaneously. Sam’s eyes widened in a horrified expression while Five averted their eyes away, unable to hide a sheepish smile. Maxine wasn’t wrong. They had developed a close relationship over the past few months. Five wasn’t exactly sure what they were at this point. They spent nearly every free hour together and flirted incessantly, some of it regrettably making its way into Five’s runs, but other than that, they didn’t engage in intimate activities. It was easy to blame it on their equally busy schedules and extreme lack of privacy anywhere in Abel.
Maxine smiled knowingly. “What I’m saying is, I’d be much more comfortable knowing Abel’s two most valuable assets were engaging with each other rather than any of the new recruits.”
“Of course, Maxine, I’ll be sure to update you regularly on… me and Five’s activities from now on,” Sam stammered. He stood from his chair and waved his arms towards the doctor. “Thanks for the advice. I’m sure many people will appreciate getting their medications, so if you don’t mind.” Sam ushered her towards the door.
“Take it easy now. You both have an early start tomorrow morning, so I’m not suggesting that you-”
“Got it, thank you!” Sam cut her off and slammed the thin shack door behind her. Her delighted laughter was clearly audible through the thin wall as she walked back towards the hospital. Sam let his forehead fall into the door, and he let out a soft groan. He ran his hands through his hair as he turned, only to see Five sitting with a hand covering their eyes. They almost looked like they were trying to disappear into the chair. “Five, I’m so sorry that happened,” he laughed nervously as he returned to slump in his seat. “I swear, Maxine finds immense pleasure tormenting me.”
Five swept a hand up and down their face, revealing a wide grin which held a mix of amusement and disbelief. “Makes you wonder how long she’d been planning that spiel,” Five sighed, bringing their hand back to the box in their lap and regarding it curiously. “Hey, I dare you to go in next week and ask for another box.”
Sam leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms before resting his hands against the back of his head as he laughed. “Aw man, can you imagine? I’d probably receive a lecture on… I don’t know, healthy libido and channeling my energy into more productive activities.”
Five took one final look at the box in their lap, tapped it a couple times against their knee, and stood up, stretching their arms in the air. “Well, Sam, this was fun. I’m going to go hide this somewhere Simon won’t accidentally find it and wash up. I’ll see you at dinner?” Five asked, stuffing the box inconspicuously inside their jacket.
“Yeah. See you then,” Sam flashed a warm smile. Five hesitated for half a second, long enough for Sam to leap to his feet. He took a small step forward and pressed his lips gently against their's, placing a shaky hand against their cheek.
Five brought both hands up to his shoulders and tilted their head slightly, kissing Sam with nervous passion.
Sam was the one who broke it off. His eyes were slightly glazed over, and his face was as red as the sweater he was wearing. For once, he was speechless, his expression a mix between exhilaration and confusion.
Five grinned widely, brushing their fingers through their hair to keep them occupied and pretend they weren’t shaking.
“So… yeah,” Five laughed, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious. “I’ll – I’ll see you at dinner.” They placed their hand over his, which had remained at their cheek. He jerked it away suddenly, appearing slightly embarrassed.
“Yeah, sorry, yeah.” It was Sam’s turn to laugh, his eyes twinkling. “I’ll see you then.”
Five bit their lip as they turned and exited the shack, closing the door softly behind them. They paused momentarily, hugging their jacket tighter around them and letting out a content sigh before making their way across the township to their quarters. As they were crossing the quad, Five looked up only to make eye contact with Maxine, who was standing in front of the hospital, as if she had been waiting there the whole time.
Dr. Meyers flashed a playful smile and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Five quickly averted their eyes to the ground in front of them and quickened their pace, but Maxine would have had to be blind to miss Five’s beaming smile and the excitement in their eyes.
Mission Accomplished.
