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“I still can't believe the boss didn't let us keep it.” Bull sighed as he laid back in bed, setting aside an old book with lovingly drawn illustrations of dragons inside.
It reminded Dorian of a child looking over a list of toys for a holiday. Although those toys would likely not be something that could level entire cities.
“I can't believe you're still pouting over that. Where would you have even suggested we put it if Adaar had brought it back?” Dorian propped himself up on his elbow, looking over at Bull with a bemused smile.
They had finally gotten back from the Emerald Graves yesterday, and despite both of them asserting they were taking a bath and going to bed, they'd wound up doing more strenuous activities. Several times. Now they were both almost boneless, completely sated, and sharing Bull's large bed as they talked further into the night. Neither was quite ready to sleep despite earlier claims of exhaustion. It hadn't taken long for Bull to bring up the dragon they'd killed two weeks ago and begin showing him a favorite book on the subject.
When Dorian had first begun visiting Bull's room, this hadn't been what he'd anticipated. He'd expected something quick, dirty, and secret. The last thing he considered was that it would result in spending time in Bull's bed outside of sex. For awhile it hadn't, though he had been the one ushering himself out instead of Bull hurrying him on. Then about three months ago, he had begun to stay for longer and longer, until it seemed silly to leave the warmth of Bull's room behind for the cold hallways.
It wasn't as if Bull had kept it a secret, and for all Dorian's bluster, he hadn't tried himself. Everyone knew. No one cared. Not even those Dorian expected resistance from seemed interested in disrupting whatever he and Bull had started. At most, he had to deal with whistles and groans from Bull's men, and faces from Sera. He could live with that.
“I'm not pouting.” Bull dramatically stuck out his lower lip. “As for where we could put it, imagine having that things head at the top of the front gate. Any advancing enemy would lose their shit!”
“Or their lunch. I've seen fortresses decorated like that both here and in the North. It's tacky, not tactical.”
“Not my fault your taste sucks.”
“Only an hour ago it had you moaning. Fickle.” Dorian huffed.
“Fair enough.” Bull laughed, and Dorian couldn't help the tiniest smile.
Whenever Bull laughed, it always seemed to add more light and warmth to a room. Not that Dorian would ever tell him that. An observation like that was far to much for whatever this was. Recently it seemed most of Dorian's observations were becoming to much for their situation. He wasn't supposed to notice small things, or keep revisiting memories of spending time together out of bed. This was casual. No strings attached. The door was open too everyone, not just him. He needed to remind himself of that.
It didn't matter he hadn't seen Bull lead someone else up here for awhile. Nor did it matter he'd overheard rumors of Bull actually rebuffing attention from elsewhere. That was simply a lack of observation on his part and rumors.
The fire crackled from the opposite side of the room, filling the space with a warm glow and casting shadows along the wall. With Bull's horns, some shadows could even pass for dragons, reminding Dorian of the gift he had brought with him. Part of him felt idiotic for even having the thing, and he almost considered leaving with it. Almost, except then he'd be stuck with it and that would be a waste.
Dorian could see the sun just beginning to crawl upward through the window that had been installed where a hole had once been. He hadn't realized they'd talked for this long and he exhaustion was finally starting to take hold.
“Awww, you getting sleepy?” Bull teased, reaching over to snag a curl of Dorian's hair as he yawned before gently pushing him down on the pillows.
“I'm hardly the only one.” Dorian noted as Bull rubbed at his own eye. “With any luck we'll be left alone till noon.”
“When have we ever been that lucky?”
“Let me hope.” Dorian groaned, draping his arm over his eyes. If they were going to finally sleep now, he decided it was the perfect time to give Bull his gift. Sleep meant not talking, and the last thing he wanted to do was talk about why he'd felt the urge to gift a casual lover something like this. “And before I forget, I have something for you.”
Keep it casual. That's all it was.
At most they were friends. Friends did things like this all the time. He and Felix had often swapped unexpected gifts and thought nothing of it.
“Knew you had something in your pants, but I thought I thought you were just happy to see me.” Bull smirked, and Dorian rolled his eyes as he leaned over the side of the bed and fumbled for his belt that held the present in place of his usual book.
“You are the only one I've ever heard actually use that line.”
“It works for me.”
“No it does not.” Dorian snorted. Of course Bull had noticed. There hadn't been much of a chance he wouldn't, but Dorian was grateful he hadn't said anything. If he had, he might have done this earlier and spoiled the rest of the night.
“You know you didn't have to get me anything.” Bull's voice was softer now, his large hand warm on the flat of Dorian's back, as his thumb rubbed gentle circles into his shoulder blade. “I mean it's nice, but I don't want you worrying about spending any coin on me.”
Dorian bit back a grimace and from the pause of motion on his back, could almost sense an awkward apology coming. His finances were rarely something either mentioned. He'd barely had anything coming South and while the inquisition provided for basics, there were still some things he needed his own money for. His friends had offered to cover for him more than once, but there was only so much his pride would allow. It wasn't till recently he'd begun to feel a bit more secure in that area, and had anything left when all other expenses were dealt with.
“If it makes you feel better I found most of it.” he said before Bull could try to shuffle around the subject. Or maybe Bull had been trying to give him a way out? Gifts could be casual, but exchanged naked in bed, they somehow seemed to have more of a weight to them.
With the parcel in his hand, it felt far too late to go back. Though that didn't mean he couldn't try to stop the mood from becoming serious.
“Here. Catch.” he sat back up and tossed it at Bull who caught it easily. Dorian laid back down under the covers, forcing himself to not turn his back to Bull as the other man raised an eyebrow and looked from the package to him and back again.
“Pretty heavy. You find a new eye-patch?” Bull grinned. It was a rectangular box wrapped in simple brown paper and tied with twine. It looked as if someone had taken great care in making it look like they didn't care.
“If anyone could turn it into one, it'd be you.” Dorian kept his position, knowing to turn would signal there was more to this than there was. He watched as Bull began opening it, swallowing back the desire to turn his head into his pillow and scream.
Why had he done this?
Why had he done this?
He was an idiot. Of course this was to much. At the very least he could have made something up about hearing the Chargers talk about Bull's Nameday. That would have been a good cover considering they'd likely be up to something in the coming months trying to surprise Bull. But of course he hadn't thought of that until now. Even if he had, that wouldn't explain giving it to him tonight. All common sense and his past experiences were screaming at him.
Still he watched. This was no different than when Bull paid for both their ale. That was casual. So was this. Casual gifts often left his heart in his throat.
Bull's eye visibly widened in the firelight and Dorian swore he heard a sharp intake of breath. At the very least Bull's mouth was slightly open and his hand paused over the packages contents as the last bit of paper fell away.
“Dorian...what is this?” Bull asked, his voice sounding oddly dry.
“Considering your dragon fetish, I thought you'd be able to recognize one of their teeth.” Dorian forced his voice to sound as indifferent as possible. It was a single dragon's tooth about the size of Bull's palm, and a thick chain that looped through the simple metal setting at the top. It was nothing special. An oddity at best and the metal had only cost a four coppers.
At least that's what Dorian had continually told himself, though the way Bull was looking at it now had him wondering just how badly he'd messed up. Soon enough Bull's gaze drifted up to him and Dorian's stomach felt like it was attempting to escape his body.
“You seemed so putout at having the thing divided up between every weapons smith and armorer in Ferelden, I thought this might put an end to your pouting. I know you'd have rather had the entire head, but we both know after last time no one was going to drag that thing back with us. Besides, Wade already claimed that and I wasn't going to even ask him about parting with it.” he continued hastily, desperate to stave off silence from settling in.
They had all met Wade once after the first dragon they'd killed, and only Bull and Hawke had been able to keep up with his own talk of dragons and the perfect armor.
“I asked Dagna to make the setting and help find a chain sturdy enough. I didn't know what you'd use it for, but it might make a rather nice weapon decoration or you could have Cremisius fashion you a belt buckle. You need a new one after all. Or use it as a paperweight.” he added flippantly. “Just try not to cut yourself on it. Dagna said it still had a bit of an edge.”
Despite all Dorian's attempts, silence finally fell as Bull ran his fingers over the tooth's surface.
“Why a tooth?” Bull asked all of a sudden just as Dorian was considering having a 'breakthrough' and needing to get back to his research at once. The question caught him off guard enough it paused his escape plan. “Why'd you pick this?”
“Does it matter?”
“I'm curious. Most people would go for a claw, get something made out of it's hide, or a bit of horn. Not many would go for the teeth.” Bull's shocked expression had been replaced with a smile that was so soft it made Dorian's chest ache.
“It's what I could reach.” he sighed. “Don't tell me, there's some rule in the Qun about not keeping a dragon's tooth?” he hadn't even thought about that, though it wasn't as if there was anyone he could have asked. Adaar was Vasoth raised by humans, asking Bull would have spoiled the gift, the library had hardly anything on Qunari customs and all his own knowledge he'd learned, was little more than propaganda. He could have always waited till they met the Qunari contact at the Storm Coast in two weeks, but that was an awkward conversation he'd rather not have had.
“Nothing like that.” Bull seemed like he wanted to say more, but before he could Dorian turned onto his other side hastily.
“If you've no more questions, I think I'm going...”
“We have a tradition, not a rule.” Bull spoke quickly as if sensing Dorian's distress. He reached over to settle a hand on Dorian's shoulder, gently turning him back over so they could see each other. Dorian let himself be moved, his heart catching as he watched Bull's expression.
Usually the man was almost unreadable. Now there was almost to much there to decipher.
“I didn't think you were one for much tradition.”
“Not usually.” Bull was tracing the tooth with his fingers like it was a precious stone. “See, when there are two people who share a lot and get along alright...they uh, they find a dragon's tooth. I guess wyvern teeth are more common now, but it's supposed too be a dragon.”
Dorian had to admit that Bull tripping over his words helped settle some of his own anxiety. He had never seen Bull struggle to explain something before. It might have only been a trick of the light, but he swore he saw Bull's cheeks growing a bit red as well.
“Anyway,” he coughed. “If you find someone you care about like that...enough to fight a dragon or a wyvern for, you get a tooth, and you do this.” Bull leaned over to his nightstand, picking up a dagger and carefully wedging it into a groove on the tooth. He began to cut down the middle, splitting it apart into two equal halves. It slid easily out of it's setting and before Dorian could say anything, he picked up one of the halves, took one of Dorian's hand in his other one, and set the tooth on Dorian's palm.
“Why do you split it?” Dorian asked, uncertain if he should.
Bull was silent as he set the dagger back, seemingly mulling over his words as he looked down, then back to Dorian.
“Because life can take both of you in opposite directions. Sometimes it can't be helped. But this way, no matter how far apart you are, you'll always be together.” he wrapped his finger's around Dorian's, gently closing it around the tooth, his other hand settling on his own half.
“I didn't know that.” Dorian wanted to smack his own head. That he hadn't known that was obvious, but somehow stating it out loud made him feel even more foolish. He pushed himself up a bit, though he did so without pulling his hand away from Bull's. He hadn't wanted to talk about any of this, but it seemed there was no getting around some conversation. Every instance from his past was screaming at him even louder he had done something wrong. Bull always made certain he had an out. He had to make sure Bull had the same option.
“Truly, I didn't mean to make things more complicated than what we've agreed to. It was just there, and I picked it up on a whim.”
“A whim hm?” Bull tilted his head.
“Yes. I thought it was a rock at first.”
“Since when are you in the habit of picking up rocks?”
“Since I found such a large target to throw them at.” he still hadn't moved his hand from where Bull held it.
“Is that what that was? I thought those were mosquitoes.” Bull teased, but the smirk didn't reach his eye. They were both dancing around the edge of something.
A whole lot of something.
Unfortunately Dorian was better at stepping on toes than dancing itself.
“I'm not asking to change anything about our arrangement.” he finally stated. “I'm not trying to ask for more.” he wanted to. He'd always been selfish, but here he couldn't bring himself to be. “What we have now is enough.”
Bull was quiet.
“Our agreement isn't complicated. You're not bound by anything, least of all a piece of a dead dragon.” he felt the words coming faster and faster now. “The way things are is completely acceptable. I'm happy. You're happy. Everyone's happy. Nothing has to change because of this.”
More silence, and Dorian swore he could feel his heart hammering so hard in his chest it hurt.
“Kaffas, Bull! For fucks sake say something! If I wanted to speak to myself I'd have stayed in my own room!”
“We could change it.” Bull finally answered, each word touched with uncertainty and something else.
“Change what?”
Bull looked at Dorian as if to say he knew exactly what. He wouldn't make him say it though.
“Our arrangement, I mean. We uh...I mean I'm not exactly opposed to uhh, to...” he stumbled over his words before blurting out. “I haven't been fucking anyone else.”
Dorian's face deadpanned as he blinked, taking in Bull's earnest expression. He never noticed before, but for all Bull's training, his ears seemed somewhat connected to his emotions. Right now they were shifting slightly down, and a barely visible pink.
“I never asked you not to?” Dorian wasn't sure what to say to that.
“I know you didn't. I kinda just stopped. You're a handful you know? I like giving you all my attention.” Bull scratched at the stubble on his chin. “Not that I'm asking you not to fuck anyone else. That's not where I'm going with this, only saying I haven't wanted too myself.”
Seemed the rumors Dorian had heard had more truth to them than expected. It was hard not to smile.
“Where are you going with this then?”
“I don't know.” Bull answered. “Look, Dorian, I've never done this before. Ever. Stuck with one person I mean. I'm not really sure what I'm doing here.”
“Neither am I. Things like this rarely work in my experience.” he set his other hand on top of Bull's before the other man could move it away. “Perhaps I should have tried splitting a dragons tooth. It's not a terrible idea to have someone you're never really apart from. Even if they smell.”
Bull blinked once, then burst out laughing, leaning a bit forward to rest his forehead against Dorian's.
“Here I thought we were having a moment, Kadan!” he chuckled, moving a bit closer and Dorian responded in the same way.
“Kadan? Don't tell me new names are part of this tradition as well. I'm rather fond of Dorian.”
“I am too.” Bull grinned and even as Dorian groaned he let Bull kiss him. “No, think about where the tooth sits if you wear it around your neck.”
“If you tell me 'Kadan' means 'nipple', I'm setting you on fire.” Dorian let his hands heat up just a bit to prove his point. Bull snorted back another laugh as he picked up his own half of the tooth and set it against Dorian's chest, while moving Dorian's own hand with the other half to his.
“My heart.”
Dorian wasn't sure he'd ever lost the ability to breath and felt so elated at the same time.
“Sap.” he finally said once he could find the air.
“You like it.”
“I rather think I do...Amatus.”
He'd only used that name once before for a lover. That man was lost to Tevinter long ago. Married and living a life that had been predetermined for him. Meanwhile Dorian was here, with no idea where he was going, uncertain of almost everything, save for the pressure of Bull's hand and a dragon's tooth against his chest.
There was nowhere else he'd rather be.
“Now whose a sap?” Bull leaned down to kiss him again.
“You're a terrible influence.” he murmured against Bull's lips, letting himself be pulled closer till there was no space between them.
They stayed like that for awhile, mouths working, hands trailing over each others skin as something entirely new began taking shape. Neither knew where they were going, or what their future's held.
All they knew was, no matter the distance, they wouldn't be facing their future's alone.
THE END