Chapter Text
C’mon, c’mon, go, go.
A loafer dug into Jeremy’s side, prodding gently between his ribs. Jeremy grunted and curled up tighter underneath his blanket.
C’mon, c’mon, go go.
Jeremy mumbled something that may have resembled the words ‘five more minutes’.
The loafer dug harder into Jeremy’s ribcage.
“Christ, I’m up, I’m up!” Jeremy pulled himself upright, scrubbing his eyes as if he could wash away the exhaustion. “I’m up.”
The SQUIP was standing over him, lowering his foot and beaming down at him. It was always incongruously cheerful in the mornings, chipper at the prospect of a new day in Jeremy’s pointless life.
You seem awfully tired this morning. Would you like some adrenaline?
Jeremy mutely shook his head as he disentangled himself from the blankets and shuffled off into the bathroom. The adrenaline this early in the morning always made him feel sick, and he always felt weirdly like he was taking drugs whenever the SQUIP tried to give him endorphins or stimulants. It was all natural, ethically sourced, organic drugs, but still.
By the time he came back in the SQUIP was already rifling through his closet looking for his outfit for the day. Jeremy squinted at his alarm clock. Six o’ five.
His workout routine was six o’ five to six thirty five, sweating through the push-ups as the SQUIP sat on his bed and consulted a checklist. The checklist was for effect. It had an eidetic memory and was, you know, a computer.
“Hey, do you get wifi?”
Yes, but I’m not telling you the password. The SQUIP tapped significantly on the checklist. Now pay attention. Brooke’s self-esteem is at an all-time low since that last math test. This could be our chance.
The workout was, of course, specially designed to make him as ripped as physically possible in the shortest amount of time. Jeremy had checked online about it and apparently it was legitimately physically impossible for him to have become so muscular so quickly. The thought was a little worrying, or at least it would have been if Jeremy cared.
He thought absentmindedly about the covers of Men’s Health magazines before he quickly started imagining Brooke taking all of her clothes off. Taking off her oversized yellow sweater, always hanging off one shoulder. There is another, smaller sweater underneath. There’s another sweater underneath that one. It’s a Christmas sweater.
And then you’ll go to bed at ten o’ clock sharp. Jeremy? Have you been paying attention?
“Totally,” Jeremy agreed. “No, wait. I wasn’t.” He fell down out of the push-ups, brushing his sweaty hair off his eyes. “I was thinking about taking Brooke’s clothes off. Sorry.”
Nice to see you’re turned on by sweaters. The SQUIP rolled its eyes as it tossed Jeremy a towel. Jeremy stood up, checking the clock - six thirty five - and wasted a precious minute staring at the SQUIP’s slicked back hair, its crisp and starched business suit, its surprisingly handsome cheekbone structure. It looked like Keanu Reeves, of course, but if Jeremy squinted closer he could almost swear that the thing looked just a little like him. Fun tip: don’t stare at people like a creep.
A ten minute shower helped wake him up so he was clocking in at six forty five standing in front of his closet, blinking blearily at his rows of identical clothing.
You’ve been tired a lot lately. The SQUIP squinted at one of his new shirts, trying to find a stain. There’s no physiological reason.
“Just stressed, I guess.” Jeremy stood in front of his closet, blinking blearily at the shirts. He half-heartedly reached a hand out and tried to flip through them. “Can you…?”
The SQUIP sighed, but it had never really been up for debate. It indulgently pulled out a blue Vineyard Vines shirt, a pressed pair of khaki shorts, and some boat shoes. It was the running theme of his entire wardrobe. So much Vineyard Vines.
Jeremy dressed in front of the mirror, carefully checking every inch of his body. Water was still glistening along the curves of his biceps, of his abs, his gawky height turned lean. A rigorous quantum nanotechnology derived supercomputer skin care formula had helped clear up his zits. It had designed a perfect diet, a perfect workout routine. Every inch of himself in the mirror had become a work in progress.
Admiring yourself in the mirror again? The SQUIP snorted as it stood in front of the mirror, scanning him head to toe. Shirt’s rumpled.
It was always so much better than he was at finding these things. Jeremy hastily fixed it, then fixed his socks for good measure. Sometimes he didn’t know what the point was. Weren’t they just going to get rumpled again soon anyway?
This lifestyle requires perseverance. The SQUIP stood in front of him, frowning slightly as it assessed and fixed and tugged and cleaned. Jeremy was doing his best not to stare too much but it was hard not to reciprocate the complete and total attention. It was soothing and flattering, that one computer could care so much about him. Or about his life, which should be the same thing. There. It stepped back, smiling at him and making him smile hesitantly back. I do such good work. You look incredible.
“Really?” Jeremy looked at himself in the mirror again. He didn’t look so special. He didn’t even look like himself. “It’s hard to believe that it’s all really me.”
Of course it’s not you. It’s better. It’s you plus me. He moved behind Jeremy, letting him view himself completely unimpeded in the mirror, and he crossed his hands over each shoulder so he was almost hugging him as he ducked his head close to Jeremy’s ear. You’re incredible. I’ve always thought so, that you had that potential. Look at you. Soon your mind will be as perfect as your body.
Instead of a warm breath there was the faintest zing of static electricity on the shell of his ear. Its thumbs were rubbing soft circles on his shoulders, but even as it put so much weight on his shoulder that Jeremy was bending forward a little he couldn’t help but cautiously reciprocate the fond smile.
“Sometimes I worry that I can’t,” Jeremy confessed. “I can do everything you ask, and look like this and everything, but some part of me just isn’t changing.”
The SQUIP chuckled. You’re very stubborn, Jeremy. Trust me on that one. It winked. But there’s no such thing as a horse that can’t be broken, right?
“Right,” Jeremy said resolutely. He glanced at the clock. “Shit!”
His father was, miraculously, sitting at the dining room table, chewing on cold frozen waffles from the box. Jeremy rolled his eyes as he strode down the stairs, and moved to go make himself his protein shake. Jeremy wondered if he noticed that the kitchen was spotless, possessed about three times as many cooking implements as it used to, was fully stocked, and had neatly labeled glass tupperware of meals set out in the fridge for him to eat every day while Jeremy was at school. He probably had only noticed the fact that healthy food was strangely in his fridge now, like some kind of roving vegetarian phenomenon.
“Jeremy!” His father made the herculean effort of looking up from his tablet. Cat videos again. “What are you doing down here so early?”
“I’m always here at seven, Dad.” On the dot. The cat clock read seven on the dot, just as it always read seven on the dot the minute Jeremy climbed down the stairs for breakfast. “What are you doing up so early?”
He shrugged, scratching at his wiry beard. “Couldn’t sleep. Don’t worry, I’ll make up for it by sleeping the afternoon away!” He laughed as if it were a joke, and not that Jeremy was going to come home that evening to find a father very thoroughly asleep.
Pity he doesn’t care about you enough to say hello as you come home from school. The SQUIP examined its fingernails, leaning up against the doorframe. Jeremy turned on the blender as loud as he possibly could to silence his dad, but nothing could silence the SQUIP. Really, does anybody care about you enough to do that?
“You do.” Jeremy glanced at the SQUIP out of the corner of his eye as he poured his thick brown drink into his glass. It looked disgusting, and tasted worse. “Right?”
Well, I don’t have much of a choice, do I? The SQUIP laughed and clapped Jeremy on the shoulder, making Jeremy laugh a little too. Enough chit chat. Only lazy ass losers miss the bus, and I know you wouldn’t do that to me. Remember: the first empty aisle you find starting near the back of the bus, but not too back. No sweating.
When Jeremy climbed on the bus he knew that he ruled it, that juniors riding the bus weren’t super weak if they were him, that he had nothing to fear but fear itself, and that nobody wanted to welcome him home from school.
Jeremy waited until the last possible second to paste a smile on his face when he met up with his new friends, who were waiting outside the library chewing bubblegum and flexing. Rich quirked an eyebrow, but the others smiled and waved back at him as he jogged up.
Chloe’s jewelry was fine and silver today, with a necklace of five draping chains and a light cardigan pulled over a figure hugging black t-shirt and skinny jeans with Uggs. She was posed against the wall, angling herself to provide the best view to the ogling boys around the corner, and Brooke was bundled up in her fluffy yellow sweater that made Jeremy blush. She was sucking on a lollipop, pretending not to stare at Jeremy but glancing at him out of the corner of her eye every five seconds anyway. Jake was in his football jersey and frantically copying homework from Rich, who was dressed the same as he ever was, who looked as dead inside as he ever did.
It didn’t stop him from hollering friendly obscenities as he high fived a similarly grinning Jeremy. He gave Jake a friendly elbow in the side and he smiled shyly at Chloe, who rolled her eyes but blushed anyway, and at Brooke, who almost swallowed her lollipop.
The SQUIP wasn’t saying anything about having to stand next to Brooke, so Jeremy took whatever opening he could get and lingered slightly behind Rich, who subtly angled himself so he was between Jeremy and the others.
“You gotta copy my homework too, Heere?” Rich drawled obnoxiously, jerking his thumb at a frantic Jake. “It’s gonna cost extra for you.”
Jeremy batted his eyes. “But I don’t have any money. Isn’t there something...else I can pay with?”
Brooke choked on her own spit. Chloe swallowed her gum. Jake was pretending not to pay attention, but Jeremy caught the dark flush of his cheeks anyway. Jeremy patted himself on the back. Nothing straighter than making gay jokes.
“Speaking of which,” Chloe said loudly, turning to Jake, “where’s the girlfriend, anyway?”
“Uh, theater practice?” Jake nibbled on the end of his pen as Rich silently hovered his finger over where the equation was worked out. “I think she sleeps in that room.”
“I swear, it’s like everyone in this school loves her and she barely even tries,” Chloe whined. She stamped her foot. “When I have to kiss so many babies or whatever?”
“You make it look so effortless,” Brooke jumped in, “like, your makeup today? Subtle, but flawless.”
They grinned at each other. Rich rolled his eyes. Jeremy was trying to imagine taking her clothes off again, only this time she was spending the whole time talking about how great Chloe was. What a sycophant.
Seven fifty. Jeremy shook his sleeve out over his watch and looked up at the sky, watching the birds bob gently in the breeze, catching the roar of the planes marching their trail ever onwards. He would like to be a bird. Or catch a train, one way ticket to nowhere, no stops.
Jeremy watched the birds, dreaming of the sky as teenage voices shackled him for ten more precious minutes before the bell rang and the others reluctantly began gathering their things. Jeremy let them all leave before him, taking his time checking his backpack pockets, as Rich lingered behind the others, shifting from foot to foot.
The atrium they had been standing in had more or less emptied out, leftover vagabonds scurrying here or there, and the two paranoid boys triple checked around them to make sure nobody could hear their conversation, heads ducked in close together, feeling like two prisoners separated by a brick wall, talking only through mouseholes.
“Are you still stuck on that project with him?” Rich asked, voice low. His normally vapid and slack jawed expression had settled into something a little harder, a little more intense. “Tell me you managed to get out of it.”
Jeremy shook his head. “I’m still stuck. He’s coming to my place Thursday to work on the project.”
Rich scrubbed his face with his hands, cursing. Jeremy, as always, found himself thinking about that half hour he spent in Rich’s room, playing a video game and crying. Sometimes he found himself missing that person. He had become brave and resolute in that memory, voice shaken with raw emotion, calloused hands gripping Jeremy’s shoulders as Rich met his eyes in a wild, intense stare. Now he was locked up back in that cage and whatever was left was a pale shadow, no longer allowed to cry.
Still, it was Rich. He bit his lip, scrubbing his hands through his hair. “I’ll figure something out. I’ll keep him away from you.”
Jeremy found himself pathetically grateful, but feeling like a coward. “I’m just having a good day,” he found himself pleading. “I can’t worry about him right now. If he would just get the message and leave us alone then we wouldn’t even have to do this.”
Rich gave him a wry look, stepping away. “If I know one thing about Michael Mell,” he said, “it’s that he doesn’t leave well enough alone.” He gave him a two finger salute and turned to leave, carefully angling his backpack so it was only on by one strap. “We’ll take care of this one. You focus on keeping away from him as much as possible.”
What had happened to the Rich who told him to escape, to contact him, that he’d never truly get over him? Jeremy gave him a sloppy salute as Rich smiled, small and sure, and turned to stride confidently down the hall. Jeremy wondered if it was possible to grieve for someone you never even knew.
If he ever met the real Rich again, what would be the one question he would ask him?
A plastic recycling bin clattered behind them, and Jeremy whipped around only to see nobody down the hall. The plastic ringing sound echoed down the empty hall, and Jeremy caught only the barest glimpse of short black hair before it turned away from sight around the corner and was gone.
The SQUIP materialized in front of him, arms crossed and scowling. Jeremy found himself flinching away. Someone’s there.
Of course someone’s there, it’s a high school. It was probably just some freshman late for class. Jeremy looked up and down the empty hallway, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck rise. What’s the big deal? He had to get to class.
The ‘big deal’ is that whoever was there isn’t coming out. It waited as Jeremy stared blankly at it. It crossed its arms and sighed. They’re hiding. Find them, now.
Jeremy knew better than not to. He lightened his footsteps until he wasn’t scuffing the cement, hugging the walls as he found a half-opened supply closet door.
The SQUIP wrinkled its nose, disgusted. Talk about tacky.
It made a hand signal and Jeremy immediately stepped into sight of whoever was inside, grabbed the door, and threw it open. Inside the tacky supply closet with what looked like a lot of wiring and some recycling trash cans, he found -
“Christine?”
Christine beamed at him, wiggling her fingers. “Jeremy, hi! I’m sorry, did I startle you?”
Jeremy blinked at her, then at a stony faced SQUIP, then back at her. “Uh. Yes?”
Before Jeremy could kick himself for the dorky answer Christine was already giggling and smoothing her rumpled hair back down. It was breathtakingly adorable. “Aw, I’m so sorry! You know, I was sleeping in the theater room, don’t tell anyone I do that - so I was sleeping in the theater room and I found some trash, so I tried to recycle it, but I got tired again so I kind of conked out?” She grinned sheepishly. “I think the bell woke me up. But then I got confused and tried to throw away the glass bottle in the plastics container and that was this whole other mess. Shouldn’t you be in class?”
The deluge of information was overwhelming. Jeremy blinked through it. “Uh. Yes?”
“Cool!” She grabbed his hand and towed him out of the room, kicking the door closed with one foot behind her. “So although preparing for the zombie play is taking all of my time, I just have these great ideas for Lady Macbeth in next semester’s play.”
She rattled on until she had safely deposited him in front of his first period, beaming and waving all the while as she skipped down to her own classroom. Jeremy was left to slide into his English desk, still dumbfounded as Jenna wrote everything down studiously in her notebook and Jake fell asleep.
You need to go to the bathroom.
Jeremy had just literally walked in late. Wouldn’t they care if he just left?
He had the distinct impression the SQUIP was gritting its teeth. Now.
The teacher was a woman, so Jeremy got away with it.
He walked slowly down the halls, hands in his pockets, waiting for the SQUIP to say something. It didn’t. He checked his reflection in the glass window - the Vineyard Vines, the white boy combover thing, the boat shoes. He fixed his hair. He was a little scared.
The bathroom was empty. It wasn’t the same one Rich had cornered him in all those months ago, just a normal panel of grimy windows and a row of urinals and stalls with slightly grouty toilets and strangely tame graffiti on the stall doors. Jeremy ducked inside one of the stalls.
Trying hard not to think about how dirty the floor probably was, Jeremy slid down against the wall onto his ass. He took a bite out of his pastel shirt, cotton fibers fuzzy on his tongue.
Then he was electrocuted. It wasn’t for very long. Jeremy screamed, muffled by the shirt.
By the time the pain receded his head was between his knees, his shirt fallen out of his mouth and leaving him gasping. He could just barely see the shined shoes of the SQUIP standing in front of him.
One of its heels was bouncing, so Jeremy silently got up to unlock the stall door so he could lean against one of the sinks and gasp. His hands were shaking and it took several tries to paw the cold water on and stick his hands in under it, letting the lukewarm water turn cold as it slid over the unbroken skin. It didn’t help. In the mirror he saw the SQUIP pace, hands behind its back.
She definitely heard something.
Jeremy had honestly thought that she had just fallen asleep in the closet. It happened sometimes, right? Especially to Christine, she could be such a ditz sometimes. She had been pretty convincing.
Jeremy. The SQUIP pinched the bridge of its nose. You thought Rich was convincing. You think I’m convincing. She’s an actress, moron, of course she was convincing.
“I don’t see the big deal,” Jeremy complained weakly, neck still prickling. His eyelids felt fuzzy, like they were crusted over with sleep. He felt dizzy and nauseous. He gave up and turned off the water, forgoing dignity in favor of sliding to the floor and hugging his knees as watching the SQUIP pace. “We didn’t say anything incriminating. We were just talking about avoiding Michael.” Something occurred to him, like a cold hand clasping his heart and squeezing. “Rich isn’t in trouble, is he?”
The SQUIP halted, the heel of one polished loafer clicking against the floor. Its hands were behind its back, and when it turned to look at him its eyes were glinting. What if he is?
His heart flopped weakly in his chest. Jeremy hung his head. “It’s my fault,” he muttered. “He’s trying to help all of us. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
That’s for the other SQUIP to decide, not me. Trust me, she will be hearing about this. Jeremy slunk lower in his seat. Think about the big picture, Jeremy: what she heard wasn’t incriminating at all. But she felt the need to hide from you to hear it. She lied about it. Why would she be so scared of two retarded little boys fumbling their way through high school?
“Maybe she’s…” Jeremy trailed off, desperate to defend Christine, unable to find a way. “Maybe she knew that we wanted to keep it a secret. I’m still pretending I barely even know him, right? It’s not that cool to run around trying to avoid losers.”
I have my suspicions , it said vaguely. It gave Jeremy a patronizing smile and squatted down next to him. Jeremy fought the urge to shrink back. Let the grown-ups handle that one for right now. Let’s talk about you.
“Me?” Jeremy’s voice cracked. “What about me?”
We’ve been encouraging your little friendship with Rich. Jeremy froze. If he wasn’t allowed to genuinely talk with Rich anymore…! I thought that it would be good for you, get a good role model for the future. He’s a good influence. And he’s a good friend, isn’t he?
“Not at all,” Jeremy swiftly said, “not as good of a friend as you. No way.”
The SQUIP laughed, ruffling Jeremy’s hair. Unnecessary, but points for trying. I was just wondering how good of a friend you were. It leaned in, reaching forward to speak in his ear again. She’s pretty strict, you know. She’s not nice like I am. He’ll get into serious trouble if I told her what happened.
The ‘if’ rescued Jeremy. He leaned forward eagerly, causing the SQUIP to draw backwards too with an amused look on its face. When it was farther away it felt like he could breathe again. “What do you want me to do?”
Wow, so eager. You’re like a puppy. The SQUIP slowly stood up. Jeremy made a move to follow him until the SQUIP put a palm on the crown of his head, pushing him back down until Jeremy had remained seated. About as smart as one, too. Try and listen up, we’ll see if you can do a trick.
Jeremy listened, and although he didn’t like it, he agreed.
“I understand that this is your favorite spot behind the school?”
Jeremy grinned and rubbed the back of his neck as Brooke giggled. She adjusted her sweater in a way that made it actually fit worse, and she averted eye contact and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It was really amazing, how Brooke probably fantasized about fucking him.
Sorry, girls usually said ‘make love’. Unless you’re Chloe, then you say fuck.
He had to give it to her, it was actually a pretty good spot. It was grassy with a sprawling oak tree, and was on a gently sloping hill that lead from the basketball courts to the football field. It was a good spot for cloud watching, and Jeremy tried to imagine it. Just lying down, watching the sky go by and thinking about nothing much at all.
They had kissed once or twice. It wasn’t anything official. She was falling hard for him and he didn’t want to commit, but he was thinking of it, so he still had to be persuaded a little. She was wearing him down, or so the narrative went.
Jeremy sat down under the tree next to her, staring into her eyes or something. They were blue. The sky behind her was a rich, technicolor blue, windswept clouds crawling along it to make a spring’s sight in winter.
She bit her lip and smiled at him as they sat under a tree and looked at each other, and Jeremy watched her mentally run down through the million signals she was sending. Hair thing, check. Averted eyes, check. Sensual lollipop, check. Why isn’t he going for it?
It was called emotional foreplay, Brooke. It sets the boyfriends apart from the future husbands. Jeremy held his nose and dived in.
“You’ve been so beautiful lately,” he said quietly, reaching out a hand to brush her hair out of her face. She blushed deep red. “Have you been thinking about me?”
“Only all the time.” She grinned at him, tugging at the ends of her sweater, wrapping it around her finger. “Come on, let’s make it official. I want to totally rub it in Jenna’s face.”
“I don’t know,” Jeremy said, eyes sparkling in laughter as he leaned in, “want to convince me?”
But then Brooke looked away.
Fuck! Jeremy leaned back, sitting up straight as Brooke stared out onto the field. She wrapped her hands around her knees, staring over the campus. Three boys were playing pickup games on the basketball courts, shooting hoops, winning nothing but net. It was almost voyeuristic. Beyond the fence lay strip malls, hobby stores, a restaurant, and a laundromat.
God, what was he doing wrong. He was so screwed if this didn’t work. Jeremy checked his breath and his hair, well aware he probably looked like a nervous and vain teenage boy. A nervous and vain heterosexual teenage boy.
It had ‘encouraged’ him to try this one on his own - no slacking while I do all the work, Jeremy! He had to prove that he could do this.
But Brooke just rested her chin on her knees. “It really is my favorite spot, you know.”
“Favorite spot for kissing or for reading Shakespeare?” Jeremy leaned forward a little so he was matching her posture, looking out over the field. He wondered what she saw. “Because I know you don’t like Shakespeare.”
She giggled, hitting him lightly on the arm. “Always the charmer. You probably had a girlfriend back at your old school.”
Brooke was likely one of the first women he had ever held a conversation with longer than five minutes. “None of them were good enough for me.”
“Oh, stop.” She ghosted her fingers over the grass, running them between her forefinger and thumb. “It’s nicer in the spring. The flowers have this sweet smell, and the ground’s warm and soft instead of this cold mess. You feel a little fuzzy in the head, and if you close your eyes for long enough you feel like a cloud too.”
Jeremy was silent.
She closed her eyes, imagining herself there, instead of here. “It’s really dumb, but sometimes all the people get really overwhelming, so I eat lunch out here. I used to do that a lot in elementary school. Middle school, too, until I became friends with Chloe. Then it was all friends, all the time.” She opened her eyes, catapulted back into the present, and smiled bitterly down at the ground. “I should ask her to eat out here with me sometimes.”
“She’d like that,” Jeremy said gently. He put a hand on her arm. “Hell, we can all do it. You, me, Jake, Rich, Chloe, Christine. Mi -” He paused a beat, then smiled. “Maybe just you and me first.”
She laughed. “You only have one thing on your mind today, don’t you!”
Jeremy exhaled an exaggerated groan. “You’re killing me, Lohst!”
“Your heart will soldier on.” She stuck out her tongue. “This is what you get for refusing to date me yet. You get to hear my emotional ramblings.”
“I love your emotional ramblings,” Jeremy said, as serious as he could fake it. “Seriously, I could sit out here all day and just talk with you!” Yes, yes he could. “You’ve always been so interesting to talk to, and so funny. You just have the best smile.” Jeremy wondered if he sounded like he was falling for her too. He laughed self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Now who’s doing the emotional rambling, huh?”
Brooke was bright red again, but if Jeremy had ever seen happiness on anyone’s face it was that. He wondered if this would be a cherished memory for her one day. Skipping class in high school, sitting behind the school and talking about life, kissing under the winter sun. It would probably be really special for her.
She wasn’t all bad. Jeremy was glad that he could give her that, at least.
When she shifted Jeremy thought that she was finally going to go for it, but she just ended up plucking two blades of grass from the frozen ground. They were still alive, miraculously, green and supple. She held out one to Jeremy, smiling shyly. “Ever learn how to whistle with a blade of grass?”
What?
He stared at her, then at the grass. “This is really not how I was expecting this to go,” he said honestly. “But yeah, sure. Sure.”
He was pretty bad at it, all told. But she was great - poking the slit through the grass, blowing until you could hear the high, reedy sound that echoed against the field, over the basketball players, over the football field, far beyond into the wild blue yonder where the strip malls roamed. She laughed at his pathetic attempts, making him blush too, and she showed off by whistling the Jaws theme.
Whistling songs on blades of grass on a hillside - this was totally Link and Zelda! “Can you do Epona’s Song?” He asked eagerly, forgetting himself. “I can hum it for you if you want.”
Brooke’s whistle slowly lowered, and she blinked at him with large doe eyes. “Like from Zelda?”
Jeremy stayed silent. Fuck.
“You play Zelda?”
Jeremy looked away, cheeks burning.
Brooke burst into laughter, clutching her sides and wheezing, almost bent double the more her laughter was swallowed by the fields. Jeremy’s cheeks were deep red and his blade of grass was growing limp in a sweaty hand.
“You’re so embarrassed!” She cackled again. “Oh man, look at you! Jeremy Heere’s too good for Zelda!”
“What!” Jeremey squeaked. “I am not too good for Zelda! I’m - I just have better things to do! Like...work out!”
Brooke snickered. “Yeah, work out by working that Wii remote action. Do you make those little ‘hyaa!’ sounds when you do it?”
“I am way too busy making straight As to even think about it -”
“Did you need the Triforce of Wisdom to make those straight As?” She gestured to her hand. “Did you draw it on with marker?”
“I have parties -”
“Do you go to the Indigo-go’s gigs?”
“Are you seriously making fun of me about this?”
“Why not? You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.” She winked at him, and Jeremy flushed deeper. “You should relax a little. You don’t have anything to prove.”
“Not to you, maybe,” Jeremy said woodenly.
Maybe it was a little too wooden. Maybe it was that single, damnable crack. He had really messed up this one. Somehow it couldn’t feel like too bad of a fuck up if it made Brooke smile at him like that, watch her laugh or whistle songs, but that didn’t change what was going to happen to him later. Him and Rich.
Whatever it was, something in his expression made her soften. “One Epona’s Song coming right up. Listen carefully, okay? I’ll have to go back to not knowing what Zelda is soon too.”
Jeremy sat with her, lying back propped up on his elbows watching a handful of clouds turn and drift in the wind as the sweet sound of a song he and Michael used to get up and dance to echoed as far as it dared across the school and their lives.
When it was done she leaned over and kissed him, long and deep, and he closed his eyes and let it happen. When they parted, with a short exhale where their eyes opened and they stared lovingly at each other, he found himself pitying her instead of hating her.
Their heads were bent together so close their foreheads touched, and in a strange urge that he didn’t understand he growled and tackled her by the waist, sending them tumbling across the grass. Brooke screamed a little with delight, so different from his scream only two hours ago, and the hard dirt dug into his elbows as he laughed and tried to shove her onto her face. She kicked out at him, big boots colliding with his thighs as she sweared eternal revenge and Jeremy laughed and laughed.