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You can’t avoid the truth. Eventually you’ll turn the corner and it’ll be there, waiting.
Teaching is something Aaron never saw himself doing. He always thought he’d have a more hands on job. Growing up, he would help at the family garage. Help at his best friends’ scrapyard. He was never one for taking fitness that seriously. He liked to smoke and drink, loved to go around to his mum’s pub to have a few with her after a lock up.
Then he found himself in the doctors. He was a twenty something guy with breathing difficulties. He should have guessed, he had started smoking at sixteen. Sneaking out to smoke the cigarettes he had nicked off his family when they’d have their weekly family gathering. It wasn’t a big deal, everyone smoked these days.
But it had to stop. His doctor giving him patches, telling him he was still young and that now was the best time to stop. And he did. Day by day he found it easier. And day by day he found himself taking his health more seriously. Waking early to go for a run around the village a few days a week soon turned into a daily routine.
Now four years later, and a lot more wiser and sure of who he is as a person, he’s teaching in Hotten Academy.
The fittest teacher in the school, apparently. The most popular, the one the students find easiest to talk to. It makes him beam with pride, gives him a confidence he’s never really experienced until he arrived at the academy.
If you’d said this is where he would have been when he was a teenager, you’d be greeted with a laugh to the face. It would have been a big, fat joke.
So, no, it’s not something he ever saw himself doing. But it’s exactly where he wants to be.
***
Robert Sugden. The new technology teacher. Looks out of place in the staff room, his nerves out on full display and Aaron kind of finds it adorable, which is ridiculous because it’s clear the guy is older than him and wouldn’t appreciate being called adorable.
And anyway, Aaron’s got a reputation to keep up. He sounds like a student himself, like he’s the leader of the popular group in year eleven. The one everyone wants to be friends with, the one everyone fancies.
They shake hands, Robert’s hands are clammy, and Aaron remembers that feeling of first day nerves. They share a quick little nod in further acknowledgment and Robert’s gone to teach his first lesson.
“He’s kind of cute,” Kerry comes over once Aaron’s alone. “I’d love to bring him out of his shell,” she winks, and Aaron turns away, hides the smirk on his face and fakes a shiver of disgust instead.
“You’d eat him alive,” Aaron winces for him. “Leave the poor guy alone.”
Kerry pours the rest of her tea down the sink before giving her ‘best drama teacher’ mug a wash. “That’s the idea,” she laughs. “Don’t get jealous now pet,” she teases more, and Aaron just groans at her before heading to the PE hall.
***
It’s the end of Robert’s first day, and Aaron catches him in the car park. He looks frazzled and warn out, it seems he’s got a lot to learn.
Their cars are parked close, Aaron unlocks his boot with his key and dumps his gym bag inside. Robert turns and offers him a smile, making him look younger and less tired.
“How’d your first day go?” Aaron asks, leaning back on his car, arms crossed across his chest.
“Just as I imagined,” Robert sighed. “They didn’t listen once, thought it would be funny seen as I’m the new *kid around here.” Robert looked back at the school. “I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”
“You’ve got to show them who’s boss,” Aaron shrugged. “You can’t have them thinking they can do what they want, that they can get away with things. I thought you’d know that.”
“I do,” Robert says quickly, like he’s offended. “It’s just all new to me. Like I said, I’ll get used to it.”
Aaron nips at the inside of his cheek with his teeth. “If you ever need to talk to somebody, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks, but I’m sure I’ll manage.” Robert gives a tight smile. Seems to think Aaron’s showing how good he is as a teacher, like just because he’s got the kids on his side he knows everything you need to about being a teacher. Robert walks around to the driver’s side, and opens his door, “see you tomorrow,” he says without looking back at Aaron.
Aaron’s not sure what it is, but he thinks he won’t give up on giving Robert advice just yet.
***
Aaron’s used to hearing his students snigger and be mean about new teachers, any teachers really. He counts himself lucky, the only thing said about him was how fit he was.
He stands back and listens, usually kind of laughs at their thoughts and opinions, even sometimes agrees with them.
Not this time. Not now that they’re talking about Mr Sugden. He feels sorry for him, can tell he takes his job seriously and only wants to do his best. He sighs deeply, hates how cruel these teens can be sometimes.
He kicks the gravel beneath his feet and blows on his whistle, making the girls jump out of their clique. “Why don’t you get back to what you’re supposed to be doing instead of disrespecting your peers.”
Michaela huffs, like what’s she’s doing isn’t wrong. “We aren’t even doing anything.”
“Exactly,” Aaron replies, more annoyed than he should be for someone he hardly knows. “Now go and join the rest of the class before I put you all in detention.”
The collective groan from the group of girls gives him satisfaction. More for Robert’s sake than his own.
He doesn’t care to think about how they’ll now view him as one of the worst teachers in the school instead of the best.
Right now, he doesn’t care about his reputation. And it feels good.
***
Aaron was right to think he’d be the hot topic in the staff room. Michaela and her friends moaning around the school to anyone that would listen about how uncharacteristically Aaron had told them off, gave them a warning.
Aaron kind of sees now how laid back he usually is. That maybe he cared more about how he looked, instead of what he should really have been focusing on.
He boils the kettle and sticks his lunch into the microwave to warm up last night’s left over lasagne.
“Black coffee always goes nice with that,” Robert’s by his side nodding towards the food spinning around.
Aaron couldn’t think of anything worse, he scrunches up his face. “I think I’ll stick to my tea thanks,” Aaron laughs a little. He tilts his head back towards the rest of the teachers. “Why aren’t you sitting with them?”
Robert shrugs, “I think me and you are the hot topic of the week.” The kettle boils and he pours the hot water into Aaron’s mug before Aaron’s raises his hand to stop him. “Apparently you gave one of your students a row today. Something you never usually do.” Robert stirs his coffee. “And I don’t think I fit in just yet, I think they think I’m a bit of a nerd.”
Aaron smiles up at him, can see why they would think that. His suit smartly pressed, his shirt crisp. And the rolled-up comic mag in his hand a big giveaway. “Give them time, don’t be scared to get involved with them. They aren’t as scary as they look,” Aaron jokes. “And I don’t usually give rows because my students don’t give me reason to,” Aaron knows that’s a lie, he knows he’s normally too soft on them. “They didn’t like it, so now I’m the newly hated teacher.”
“We must be crazy doing this job,” Robert sips at his coffee.
“Something like that,” Aaron says lightly. “Or just plain stupid.”
Aaron’s smile broadens at the sight of Robert’s lips spread wide, his white teeth on show. The microwave pings and he’s grateful of the interruption.
“I’ll see you around,” Robert says warmly, and Aaron finds himself watching him leave.
Kelly’s on him like a rash, her high heels clicking across the floor. “I hope you aren’t stealing my man.”
Aaron rolls his eyes. “He’s hardly your man.”
“Do I sense a hint of jealousy?” Kelly pokes at his ribs. “You know I’m messing.”
“Why don’t you go back to slagging me off? It’s what you lot do best,” Aaron stuns her into silence, her face falling. He picks up his things before giving his so called ‘friends’ a look that lets them know exactly what he thinks of them for acting worse than said students spreading stuff in the first place.
***
It’s Friday and Aaron’s grateful. He hasn’t really spoke to many of his colleagues, only when he’s needed to. He should probably forget it now but finds he can’t. Not when he hasn’t done anything wrong and is owed an apology himself.
It’s also the end of Robert’s first week, and Aaron wants to congratulate him on it. He seems like a different man compared to Monday. Aaron can tell he’s found his feet, maybe even took some of Aaron’s early advice.
They cross paths in the corridor, Robert smiling instantly and Aaron smiles softly back at him. “You’ve nearly made it then.”
“Of course, told you I’d get used to it.” Robert almost sounds smug and it does something to Aaron’s insides.
“Good,” Aaron struggles to say anything else. He scratches his eyebrow, “do you fancy going for a drink after work? I mean, if you drink, and only if you want to- “
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Robert grins and Aaron nods back, feels bloody awkward and stupid.
It’s only a drink? It’s just two colleagues going for an after-work drink, it’s something Aaron does countless times.
Something about this feels different, though. Something about this throws Aaron’s confidence out of the window. Something about this excites Aaron.
He’s never wanted a Friday night to come quick enough.
***
They meet up at 7pm at the local pub. Aaron’s taken aback for a moment, Robert looks different. Like he owns the place, his entrance giving off a totally different vibe to the one in work. He’s dressed in a purple shirt, jeans and a leather jacket.
Aaron gulps down at his beer quickly, his mouth turning dry and his mind working overtime. Robert spots him at the bar, his hands shoved into his leather jacket and strides over with a slight smirk. Has he noticed the way Aaron was looking at him? Aaron tells himself to cool it, that there’s no way he can find a guy like Robert attractive. A guy who probably reads endless books that Aaron can’t even begin to understand, watches black and white films and reads comic books. They’re complete opposites and that thought seems to settle Aaron.
He buys himself and Robert a drink before they find a table in the corner of the pub.
“Nice place,” Robert says politely, looking around the basic surroundings.
“This old dump?” Aaron raises his eyebrow. “You aren’t in work now, you can say what you really think.”
Robert laughs, takes a swig out of his pint. “I like it.” He shrugs. “I bet there’s been some scenes in this place.”
“Probably,” Aaron says as way of ending the topic. Doesn’t particularly care about the place. “How did you get into teaching?”
“Wanted to make my mum proud,” Robert says simply. “Wanted to do something I knew my family wouldn’t expect me to do. I didn’t want to be a farmer like my brother, I wanted to feel like I had a purpose”.
Aaron nods, “alright. Why technology?”
“Find it interesting,” Robert shrugs. “I wanted to be a graphic designer when I was younger, but I found it hard.” Robert wavers for a moment, doesn’t want to say too much, doesn’t want to open up, but Aaron looks at him patiently with a small smile and Robert decides to just be honest. “Especially when my mum died. I kind of gave up on everything.”
“I’m sorry,” Aaron swallows. “At least you’re doing something you still enjoy.”
“I guess,” Robert nods a little. “What about you? How did you get into teaching?”
“It’s boring really. I had a small health scare when I was younger, who knew smoking could cause so many problems, eh?” Aaron jokes, making Robert grin. “So, I decided to get healthy, and then I found Hotten academy and started my teacher training.”
“You enjoy it?”
Aaron’s nods. “I love it,” brings his pint up to his lips. “Must be because I’m everyone’s favourite.”
Robert laughs. “Yeah, a few of the students I’ve had have mentioned you a few times.”
Aaron finds himself pulling at the loose string on his jumper. “I’ve found myself lately not wanting that anymore,” Aaron bites his lip. “I want them to like me because I’m a good teacher. Not because they think I’m fit or whatever.” Aaron sighs, “it’s pretty annoying. Especially now I’m the talk amongst the teachers because I did something any teacher would do.”
“I’m sure they don’t mean any harm,” Robert comforts. “There’s more to you than just your looks, Aaron. They’re kids, they’re going through that stage in life. It just so happens to be you actually are nice to look at.”
It’s like the last bit wasn’t meant to come out. Robert stumbles over himself, tries to backtrack what he’s just said, but finds he can’t. He points back towards the bar. “Want another?” he settles for instead. They’ve barely drank anything, but Aaron nods so they can have time alone to breathe normal again.
They spend the rest of the night chatting about stuff that don’t matter, about stuff that isn’t enough for either of them to forget about what Robert said.
***
It’s another week over with. It’s a week spent of him and Robert finding themselves spending lunch together and both of them taking it in turns to buy the other coffee in the morning.
Aaron’s had his apologies from Kelly and the rest of them, and Aaron doesn’t want to hear that Robert was right, but Robert reminds him that he told him so.
And it seems Aaron’s back into his students good books. Things have been brushed under the carpet and Aaron’s seemed to have found a middle ground. He’ll be that nice guy they want him to be, the fun teacher whose class they enjoy most, but he’ll also be the one who puts his foot down more and not worry about how he looks. It surprisingly lifts a huge weight off his shoulders he didn’t know he was carrying.
It’s the end to a week where Robert’s settled in more. Found himself talking to fellow colleagues. His nerves are history now. He’s like a new man and Aaron feels ridiculously proud.
***
A month later and nothing much has changed. Other than every Friday night is their night. Either they go to the pub that Robert appreciates more than is necessary, or they’ll have a meal round at Robert’s. Aaron’s never tasted food like it, he’s more of a burger kind of guy, but he finds himself trying new food he’s never even heard of just to see that smile on Robert’s face. The soft and almost secret one.
The one only used around Aaron.
It’s one of their nights in at Robert’s, both bloated and in no hurry to move.
“I’ve got something to tell you,” Robert says after a comfortable silence. Aaron looks up at him, half expecting Robert to confess to the food always being shop bought. What Robert tells him almost floors him. “I had a phone call last night offering me a permanent job at a school in Sheffield,” Robert says carefully. “I’ve got until Monday to decide.”
“Right,” Aaron responds slowly. “And you’re going to take it?”
“Well I knew this job was only cover, and its half term in a week, isn’t it? So, I can stay until then- “
“What about me?” Aaron blurts out. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are,” Robert says, slightly surprised by Aaron’s reaction. “It’s only Sheffield, I can still see you every Friday night.”
Robert’s smiling, Aaron’s hurting. And Robert doesn’t seem to understand and see why, and that hurts even more. Makes Aaron feel stupid.
Is every Friday night enough for Robert? What about the morning coffees? The lunches together? The thought of not having that anymore makes him stand quickly and grab the empty plates. He’s a guest in this house, but he always takes the duty of washing up afterwards. Like it’s a couple’s arrangement.
Aaron’s running the warm water and squirting washing up liquid into the sink. His hands are tight around the rim of the sink and he wishes he was anywhere but here now. He needs time to think things over.
He can’t though, Robert’s next to him with a dish towel in his hands ready to dry up; another thing they do like they’re a god damn couple. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Robert asks, sounds bothered that Aaron hasn’t said congratulations.
“Not sure what you want me to say,” Aaron turns his mouth into an upside-down smile. “Seems you’ve made up your mind.”
Robert frowns, “I thought you’d be happy for me”.
And he is. Deep down he really is, but he can’t get passed the initial shock and hurt. He needs time for it to digest, he’ll probably feel different in a few hours. That doesn’t stop him from saying something stupid like, “course I’m happy that you’re leaving me.” He says it with venom, something on his tongue that even makes him feel sick to feel this bitter. “I’m tired,” Aaron says for a quick explanation before he moves away. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Aaron,” Robert’s voice breaks, and Aaron wants to stop and say sorry. But that’d be too easy and straightforward, wouldn’t it? So instead he keeps walking and picks up his black puffer coat and puts it on. “Aaron,” Robert says again with a firmness Aaron’s never registered with Robert before, probably a tone he uses for some of the unrulier pupils. “Will you just stop!”
Robert’s hand grabs around Aaron’s arm and he’s being spun around to face him, his fingers dig into his skin. “What’s the matter with you?”
Aaron doesn’t dare speak. Knows how stupid he’s going to sound. Robert’s fingers loosen on him and Aaron doesn’t want him to let go, it’s as if tonight the lights have finally been switched on and Aaron can see clear.
He knows exactly what’s the matter. He knows he wants Robert. And it scares him, the truth scares him. But he fights against his fears, lets the warmth of Robert’s breath against his cheeks pull him in closer.
His eyes close before his lips meet Robert’s, doesn’t want to see the look on Robert’s face, or to see him pull away. The latter doesn’t happen, Robert stays, and he reacts. Their mouths brush against each other’s and Aaron sighs when he feels Robert’s hand move up to his neck.
Aaron awakens at the gesture, his mouth opening and letting his tongue edge in against Robert’s. It turns deeper, and Aaron brings his arms up to cling around Robert’s neck, doesn’t want to think what this means.
Robert’s taller body spins them around, and presses Aaron up against the wall with a small humph from Aaron. One of Robert’s thighs come in between Aaron’s legs, and he grinds against Aaron making them both moan.
They stay like that for ages, and Aaron’s not sure if it’ll end, but he finds he doesn’t want it to.
It ends though, Robert’s phone goes off in his pocket and he pulls back quickly. Robert’s all plump lips and red faced, and Aaron wants more, but Robert’s retreating as he takes the phone call and Aaron can’t help but listen in.
“You got my text then? I know, it’s amazing isn’t it? I’m definitely going to take it.”
Aaron swallows thickly. Wishes he was hearing things wrong. He’s still going to go. He kissed Robert because he thought that was his last chance to make things clear. To show Robert how he truly feels.
Seems all of it was for nothing. Aaron drops his head back against the wall, can feel the tears in his eyes and he goes before Robert can see any of it or try and stop him again.
***
It’s Monday, the day Robert’s going to decide his future. Aaron’s got it in his head that Robert’s already decided, though. Robert seemed pretty sure, despite the kiss, nothing had changed.
Aaron’s sat in his office, trying to plan this week’s classes. Anything to take his mind off Robert.
That’s never going to happen, especially when Robert stands at the door with two takeaway coffees in hand. “Morning,” Robert comes into the office, closing the door behind him and placing down the cups onto the desk. “Everything ok?”
Aaron drops his pen down, sits back in his chair and looks up at Robert as if he’s grown another head. “What do you think?”
Robert sighs, makes room so he can sit on the edge of the desk. “Why did you leave Friday?”
“I didn’t think there was any point staying,” Aaron shrugs.
“We kissed Aaron,” Robert breathes, so it seems Aaron’s not the only one who can still feel his lips on his own. “I thought- “
“You thought what?” Aaron snaps. “That you could use me for a quick fuck and then you could just leave and forget me?”
Robert closes his eyes against Aaron’s words. “I wouldn’t use you, and I how could I forget you? I told you it’s only Sheffield, we can still see each other.”
Aaron rubs at the tension in his neck, why can’t Robert see that isn’t enough? “Fine,” Aaron settles and decides to just give up now before this hurts him more than it needs to. “Thanks for the coffee, you can go now.”
Robert doesn’t move, Aaron looks up at him as if he hasn’t heard him. “I said- “
Aaron’s been pulled to his feet, Robert’s fist grabbing at the front of Aaron’s hoodie. Aaron slots perfectly in between Robert’s thighs, his hands gripping on to them to steady himself.
Aaron hopes this isn’t just Robert’s way of bringing him out of his mood, Aaron hates how quickly it works. His lips rise into a smile, Robert’s forehead pressing against his own before Robert’s tilting his head to reach Aaron’s lips.
Robert’s arms wrap around Aaron’s waist, pulling him in closer and pressing their bodies close. Robert’s arms come back in between them, his hands rub over Aaron’s crotch.
Aaron’s hard instantly, Robert pulls back to let them breathe. There’s no chance of that happening, Robert’s hand goes down Aaron’s jogging bottoms and boxers, his hand cold and strong around Aaron’s hard dick.
Aaron moans against Robert’s cheek, rocks his body back and forth and Robert attaches his lips to Aaron’s neck. His teeth nipping at Aaron’s flesh, tongue licking and then sucking hungrily like he’s been starved of the taste of Aaron all his life.
Aaron kisses at Robert’s jaw, his hands in his hair grip tighter as Robert’s hand moves faster around him. It’s the simplest kiss under Aaron’s ear, and Aaron loses it. He spasms over Robert and brings Robert’s head up to face him so he can moan a kiss into him.
The room is full of nothing but their breathing, heavy and messy and so clearly desperate for more. The sound of kids coming in from the playground remind them both of where they are, and Robert clears his throat, grabs a tissue and cleans up the white substance from his hand.
Aaron’s a sweaty mess, his legs weak and Robert looks down at him smugly. Aaron kind of misses the nerdy guy who first joined, this new cocky one makes Aaron crave something he knows he’ll not be able to have.
Aaron doesn’t want to think about that for now, so instead let’s Robert crowd his space and pull him in for another breath-taking kiss. “Come to mine tonight,” Robert says quietly against his lips. “I want to make this right.”
Just staying here would make this right, Aaron thinks. He doesn’t say anything, instead gives Robert a small nod and a smile.
***
Robert’s told Aaron where to find the spare key, typically under the doormat outside the front door. Aaron’s emotions have been all over the place since the morning. Up and down like a rollercoaster, one minute not knowing whether to confess to Robert how he really feels, how he wants more and not just a quickie here and there.
Then he’s telling himself to let Robert go. That Robert deserves the best, and that he would probably end up hurting himself in the end anyway. Or even better, Robert would leave because he’d realise he can do better, and other over the top thoughts cross his mind.
He enters Robert’s house, the kitchen lit up dimly with candles, the table set for the two of them and Robert’s bringing beers out of the fridge. It’s all so romantic, so unlike anything Aaron’s ever had before and it’s an even bigger eye opener that Robert’s too good for him.
Robert clearly doesn’t see it though, his face lighting up at the sight of Aaron. He’s rounding the kitchen counter and placing a soft kiss to his wanting lips. “I’m sorry if I smell of curry,” Robert hums. “Take a seat, it’s almost done.”
The foods amazing as always, but Aaron can’t stomach it. Doesn’t want to pretend none of this is happening, doesn’t want to pretend that this week could be the last he sees of Robert every day.
“Don’t you like it?” Robert asks between mouthfuls.
How can he be so blind? Aaron sighs, pushes the plate away from him. “Are you just going to act like none of this is happening?”
“This is me making it right,” Robert swallows. “I thought you’d like it.”
“What I’d like is for you to tell me you’re staying,” Aaron puts it bluntly. “What I like is you. I like you Robert, and I don’t want you to go.”
There. He’s said it, no going back now. Robert looks at him, just as shocked as Aaron is for actually saying it.
“Well go on. You can talk,” Aaron huffs. The silence too much.
“You like me?” Robert asks, like the idea is alien to him.
Aaron can’t help but roll his eyes. “Of course, I do, you idiot.”
“I like you, too.” Robert breathes, reaching over the table to take Aaron’s hand in his own. “And that’s why I’m staying.”
Aaron’s eyes widen, his head snapping up to see Robert properly. “Are you serious?”
“Deadly,” Robert runs his thumb across Aaron’s knuckles. “From the second you kissed me, I think I knew deep down I couldn’t go. I just needed to hear you say it first.”
“You’re a stubborn fucker,” Aaron laughs. He gets to his feet, pulls Robert in for a quick kiss, and holds him close. “What about work? This is a big deal- “
“I’m not as stupid as I look,” Robert smirks. “I’ve got myself an interview at the college. Permanent position. So, it looks like you’re stuck with me.”
“I like the sound of that,” Aaron smiles and let’s Robert guide them up the stairs.