Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sparks

Sparks and zaps and flickers and twitches and pain. None of those words on their own really captured what he was feeling at any given moment.

White hot sensations burning their way down an arm no longer his own gave way to spikey needle feelings at his shoulder, only to suddenly feel like his hand was being shredded up.

He couldn’t tell Avocato about the flare-ups. Not when he’d done so much to help, not when this was the hand that did the Clasp of Friendship. And of course he couldn’t tell him now.

He couldn’t tell Quinn about the way he wanted to scream even holding a card in that metal hand. Not when the pain was a result of saving the two of them from that collapsing elevator. Not when the pain was proof she had decided to trust him with yet another stupid plan.

“Gary. You are experiencing major pain again. Perhaps a replacement-“

“Shut up H.U.E., I’m fine!” Gary said gruffly at the ceiling, hoping for just a couple more minutes of painfully lying in bed and letting his face express the agony he had to hide around the others.

“I understand the sentimental nature of that limb, but your pain will lessen significantly if I replace the metallic hand with one that has not undergone so much wear.”

“Does the Clasp of Friendship mean nothing to you, H.U.E.?” Gary asked, accusingly. “You don’t get it because you don’t have hands!”

“You are correct, I do not have hands, Gary. But you should not let grief keep you from getting the very accessible help.”

“Can you just give me pain meds?” Gary asked, sitting up. He chalked that up to being his worst idea in all his life, as the arm retaliated for moving with a brickload of electric agony. It brought tears to his eyes, which might or might not have helped convince H.U.E. to agree.

A little table popped up from the floor with a glass of water and a pill bottle. “There are two pills inside, Gary. One should minimize your pain for the day. You may keep the other for later.”

“You really are afraid that I’d-“

“KVN burned all the rest when playing with the flame shooters.”

“I hate-“ Gary started, but then heard a knock at the door. He quickly took one pill and downed the water. In his haste, he accidentally inhaled some of the water and started coughing while the glass was still at his lips. Water got all over him, and just his luck, right on the juncture of his flesh and robot arm.

The wetness there. The blood. The cool gel that Avocato put on his wound. The blood. The tearing of flesh and bone. The shock and pain and shrieking sounds from his own mouth.

There were tears in his eyes, and vaguely he could feel the sobs wracking through his chest as he wailed. But he wasn’t wailing. He was running, running away from the Lord Commander guy, running with his best friend at his side. It would all be ok.

He tried not to be sick at the disgusting feeling of holding his own lifeless arm, tried not to pay attention to the pain or the sheer wrongness of there being empty nothingness past his shoulder. He tried not to think, not to feel. He had to focus on…

A hard slap to the face jostled him back into the present. Gary blinked, his mind taking a second to catch up.

“Crap, Gary, you scared me!” Quinn said, patting the cheek that she’d just slapped with a gentle touch in silent apology. He noted that he was sitting against his bed, water sprayed all down his shirt, and his pill bottle… in Quinn’s hand. Crap.

“It was just an acciden-”

“Why were you taking Max Relief? Are you hurt? Is it why you fell and fainted?” She asked, genuine worry etched into her in ways he found beautiful and yet wished would never grace her face again. “H.U.E. wouldn’t tell me anything except that you didn’t overdose.”

Gary counted his blessings at that. He was about to tell a quick lie when he saw Little Cato watching from the doorway. The kid locked eyes with him, glaring in a way that warned not to try and lie. The redness of Cato’s eyes betrayed that such a lie wouldn’t end up with punches, no, something worse. Broken trust.

Gary closed his eyes and lightly hit the back of his head against the bed frame. “I just… The water got on my shoulder and uh… you know.” He tried, hoping this would let the questions die off.

“No, we don’t know, Gary. You gotta tell us. You’ve told me everything in video logs for five years , I think you can handle explaining things face to face once in a while.”

Gary’s shoulder slumped and he noted that the medicine worked like a charm. “Ok well… first off I took one of those pills because my robot hand hurts like crap. And then there was that knock and I panicked so I tried to drink too fast and got water where my arm got ripped off and I started thinking about… about…”

Quinn noted the far off look in his eyes again and patted his good shoulder. “Stay with me, tell me what you see or feel.”

Gary fought to stay present, to make his real lungs respond when every part of him was trying to mutiny and fall back into those memories. It was a tad easier this time, the weight on his shoulder grounding him.

“My arm. Ripped off by Lord Commander. Running. Best friend by my side. Invincible. Scared but can’t show it. Pain . Best friend gets me a new arm. True clasp of friendship with new arm. New arm and. New arm and pain and New Best Friend trusting me. Reaching for hand in space, using hand to hold onto wire and it’s. Pain. Pain loss and-” Gary cut off with a gasp, hearing that explosion dully in his head.

He hadn’t watched, had forced himself not to look when Avocato…

Mooncake pressed to his face, a gentle hug that eased the shaking that had taken hold of him at the memories. Gary shivered one final time, utterly spent from all the memories and emotions. Tears were freely streaming from his eyes, Quinn was hugging him, and Little Cato was sitting a little ways away. So cat-like, staying in his presence and thinking that was enough of a comfort.

It was. After five years of loneliness, even knowing another living being was on the ship was enough. The hugs were almost… too much. He couldn’t even appreciate the affection Quinn was showing him because he felt so empty.

“W-well uh. This prisoner should probably make himself useful and make you guys breakfast.” Gary said, gently pushing away from Quinn and Mooncake. He didn’t look back to see their faces when he left.

“H.U.E., has he ever referred to himself as a prisoner?” Quinn asked when Gary had left the room with Mooncake in tow.

“Only on his worst days. I will admit, I prefer him wrongly refer to himself as captain than accept his true status.” H.U.E. responded.

“How do we fix his worst days?” Little Cato asked.

“Let them pass. More pressing is the issue of his arm. If not repaired, his hand may attempt to shift to gun or sword mode. Both of these are extremely dangerous with damages like he has sustained.”

“Dangerous like a trigger-happy gun?” Little Cato offered.

“Dangerous like a shock grenade taped to your side.”

“Oh crap.” Quinn groaned, facepalming. Today sure wasn’t starting off great.

Chapter Text

Gary trudged his way to the kitchen, pulling some eggs from Other Beth the fridge. H.U.E. didn’t protest, but H.U.E. never complained on his bad days. The AI learned early on that on these days, KVN was actually better at handling Gary.

“Oh, a bad day, huh? Being all mopey dopey prisoner today, cap’n?” KVN asked, flying into the room with as chipper a voice as ever.

Gary said nothing, only sniffling lightly and turning away from the ever-unwelcome robot. As he tried cracking some eggs into a bowl, he barely reacted to the expected hug.

“C’mon, Gary, it’s been 84 days since your last bad day! It was a high score!! Remember when you cried like once a week?”

“Hush.” He grumbled, but it lacked any real anger behind it. Gary moved to turn on one of the burners he usually wasn’t allowed access to, a flicker of triumph blooming in his gut for a moment when flames sprang forth. Snarky words to H.U.E. died in his throat as the numbness took back its hold on him.

KVN tightened the hug a little, glad to know he wasn’t being ignored like a loud backpack from that response. “I remember back then! You were so lonely and said I didn’t count as company! And you only ever went to H.U.E. about your nightmares and hoo-boy, those were always fun to hear about through the doorway!”

“Go away, Kevin.” Gary said, a little more bite bleeding into his words. God, KVN was infuriating.

“Little riled up there, bud? I thought you were having a down er day?” KVN needled, happy to be doing his job of getting Gary out of his funk.

“KVN, is your hearing in need of fixing? He said to leave.” Quinn piped up from across the room, earning a flinch from both Gary and KVN, the latter of which left the room in haste.

“Why does he do that when you need alone time?” Little Cato asked, hopping up on the counter a little ways from Gary.

Gary took a moment to settle down. It wasn’t that he forgot other people were on the ship, but after five years, any non-robotic voice could easily startle him. And ok maybe he also forgot other people were on the ship. “I’m not used to anything but alone time.”

“You making omelettes?” Quinn asked gently. It stung worse than his arm, knowing that in this moment she spoke to him like he was about to shatter to pieces. It stung mostly because it felt like it was true.

“Yeah, if I don’t burn them.” Gary said, bitterly. He felt like he was drowning and taking them with him. It hurt, it hurt to feel so bad when he finally, FINALLY got to see other living people, his five year crush, no less!

Tears brimmed in his eyes, spilling over again. He’d lost Avocato after just a couple days of friendship, what hope did he have of keeping these friends? Especially if he kept sobbing like this.

“You won’t burn them if you ask for help!” Little Cato said, nudging Gary out of the way and taking over for him at the stove. Gary noticed the kid roll his eyes before giving a look of… care? Understanding? Something.

“C’mon, Gary, help me find some plates, ok?” Quinn offered.

“Stop it.” Gary said softly. “Just stop it, please. I don’t want a mother right now. I want a Quinn.”

“Are you saying I’m mothering you??” Quinn asked indignantly, offended at the insinuation she was in any way patronizing him.

“I’m saying that the Quinn I know is blunt and somewhat violent and demanding and maybe I don’t know the full you, but you treating me like a sad toddler feels like you’re a lying bunch of lies!”

“Well maybe you are acting like a sad toddler! And maybe that’s just how I react to whining cadets when they’re dealing with more than they can bear!!” Quinn yelled, fuming.

That fit the script better and Gary smiled, turning to kneel by a little compartment and pull out some plates. “Dishes are in here if you ever need them.”

“No, we’re not done talking, Gary.” Quinn grumbled, putting a firm hand to his shoulder that prevented him from standing back up. “You’re right, you don’t know me. You don’t have five years worth of videos on every thought or feeling I’ve ever had! But to think I’m lying if I try to be nice to you? Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”

“No…”

“That’s right you don’t. Just like I don’t know how much my words hurt you back when I couldn’t trust you and thought… thought a lot worse of you.” She sighed, retracting her arm. “I’m honestly sorry for ever calling you a nobody. I really hate that superiority I felt I had back in the Infinity Guard.”

Gary caught her hand gently. “To be fair, everyone’s a nobody compared to Quinn Airgone.” He said it with a halfway flirty grin, but it sounded quite genuine.

“If you two are done starting a crappy romance novel or whatever, I finished the eggs.” Little Cato called, “I could use those plates.” Mooncake rolled his eyes, agreeing with his sentiment.

“Oh, right!” Gary said, starting to get up as Quinn pulled his arm to help him up. “Thanks.”

“Weren’t we making omelettes?” Quinn asked when she saw the scrambled eggs getting tossed on everyone’s plates.

“That’s a really weird way to say eggs.” Little Cato commented while scarfing down some food.

Gary chuckled as Quinn started explaining what omelettes were. He tossed some eggs up into the air for Mooncake to catch every once in a while, smiling at the hugs that earned him.

Finally eating food improved his mood noticibly, as did not having to hide some pain in his arm. Everything was… fine. Which of course couldn’t last very long.

“Hey, Gary?” Little Cato asked when he finished up, “Would you let me fix up your hand? It’d be cool to uh… improve on something my dad did.”

Gary immediately recoiled, letting his fork fall back to his plate. “Why? It’s just-”

“H.U.E. said it could kill you.” Quinn said solemnly.

“So could half the things in this galaxy! Some things are worth the risk!”

“What’d be so wrong with replacing just the crappy hand?” Little Cato asked.

“It’s the hand your dad shook when we became real friends. It’s the hand that Quinn trusted in to save the both of us, twice! It’s… proof I’m worth something. Proof I’m worth saving, trusting, and befriending!”

“You don’t need a busted old robot hand to prove all that!” Little Cato said loudly, though not cruelly. “You only saved me from a bomb in that shirt, should I stop being thankful if you ever take it off? Should you wear it till it reeks or will that somehow undo your actions and make me blow up alongside my dad?”

“No, of course not, I-”

“It’s cool you like the arm, but dying just to show how much my dad meant to you? That sucks, man. That’s crappy and he’d hate it!”

“Fine, you can fix it!” Gary said grumpily, looking away from the tears glistening in Little Cato’s eyes. Avocato’s last words rang in his ears like a guilty conscience. He had something he needed to do now, a purpose. Quinn was smart and strong enough to save the universe and he wanted to help of course, but… he’d been told to take care of this kid. That was something he needed to live for.

For five years he’d clung to his past, clung to the idea of Quinn, clung to any sentimental moments he could remember. There had never been a future for him, so the past was all he could hold. That changed when Mooncake came along, and now he had to look after Little Cato too. He had a friend in Quinn, someone to spend time with to learn all her different facets.

He had a future now.

He wanted desperately to hoard and keep anything that might help him retain himself another five years if need be, but why would he even need that? They were going to save the universe and he was going to go free. He didn’t need the robot arm to remember this.

He didn’t need his robot arm to remember Avocato.

His son was right there.

And would be right there, safe and happy as long as he lived. And he could trust that Quinn felt the same.

They had a future.

“No, I’m sorry.” Gary said, shaking his head and getting up. He went over to Little Cato’s chair as the others looked at him in a bit of surprise and rising anger.

At least until he knelt by Little Cato’s chair.

“Little Cato, my arm is broken and I’d be ever in your debt if you would aid me in fixing it.” He said with all the drama he could muster.

Little Cato rolled his eyes while Quinn snickered softly at his antics. “Does that mean you’d give me every cookie you earn from here on out?”

“That’s a right earned by anyone who kills KVN.” Gary said quickly. He’d thought it over night and day, and only that would be worth the loss of cookies.

“Well, maybe that can be tomorrow’s fun!”

“You’re my new favorite besides Mooncake.” Gary said, pulling the kid into a hug as they laughed.

Quinn smiled, glad for the melancholy mood of the morning to finally have subsided a little.