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Liv traced patterns on the edge of her water bottle from where she was standing at the top of the stairs as she thought about last night. She promised she would change and they promised that they would help her. Now she just had to follow through.
She moved on autopilot, walking down the stairs, hesitating that the bottom as she took in the scene downstairs. Gerry, as always, was sprawled across the couch, engrossed in watching a garden renovation program that he was obsessed with and her eyes drifted to the kitchen where Robert was cooking and Aaron was… giving unhelpful sarcastic comments by the looks of it.
Taking a steadying breath she pushed herself to move towards them, her half-empty water bottle suddenly feeling heavy in her hands.
“Wanna refill?” Robert said and Liv startled, snapping out of her daze.
“Huh?”
“Your water bottle,” he clarified, “do you want a refill?”
Yes.
“Oh, no, ta,” she said, setting the bottle on the table before she could be tempted to take a swig. “I er—I don’t think I can work at the pub anymore.” Her voice was quiet and unsure, and it immediately drew the undivided attention of her brothers.
“Since when?” Aaron said with a frown from where he was leaning back against one of the cabinets and Liv hesitated. “Liv, you’ve gotta have a job or you have to do community service. It’s part of your probation.”
“I know, and I’ll find myself another job,” she said, “just… not at the pub.”
“Has something happened?” Aaron asked, a hard edge to his voice.
“No. It’s just…” Liv trailed off, her eyes drifting to the two open cans of beer on the table. “I don’t—I’ve been nicking booze from the orders,” she admitted quietly, her eyes fixed on the cans so she didn’t have to look at their reactions.
But out of the corner of her eye, she saw Robert turn away and Aaron sighed loudly.
“Liv! What the hell were you thinking?” he said, “when? Ya know what it doesn’t even matter. Hand it over.”
“That’s all I’ve got,” Liv said, sliding her water bottle towards him, glancing up at their confusion looks. “I’ve been topping it up whenever I can.”
Aaron swiped the water bottle off of the table, unscrewing the lid he took a small sip and he frowned down at it.
“This is vodka,” he said flatly and any other time Liv would have rolled her eyes at him. “This isn’t even mixed with anything. Liv, do you realise how dangerous that is? You’re 16!”
“I know,” Liv said softly, refusing to meet their eyes. “I’m sorry, I know.”
“Why tell us now?” Robert asked, moving the pan off of the stove so he could lean back against the cabinet, arms folded to give her his full attention.
“I meant what I said, I wanna do better,” she said, then hesitated and both men waited for her to go on. “And it scares me. Everything with my mum. The stupid stuff I did with Gabby. That day Lisa brought me home ‘nd said she was taking her statement back, she found me drunk. She sobered me up and I made her promise not to tell you and I said I’d stop.” Once she started, the words seemed to rush from her mouth, voice trembling as she cried but forced herself to go on. “But… I can’t. It takes the edge off. Made it easier to get through the day with everything that was goin’ on. Gabby said something about me not being able to stop and… I think she’s right.”
“Liv…” Aaron’s voice was soft and hesitant. “When was the last time you went a day without a drink?”
Liv considered lying, but she knew that would have been pointless. “I don’t know,” she admitted softly. “A while ago.”
She watched anxiously as Robert and Aaron exchanged an unreadable look before they moved in unison. Aaron upended the water bottle full of vodka down the sink, tossing the now empty bottle in the bin. Robert followed suit with their empty beer cans before moving to the fridge, pulling it open with one hand, grabbing a carrier bag off of the counter with the other. Filling the bag with all the unopened bottles of beer and alcohol they had.
“Gerry, stop eavesdropping and c’mere,” he said, and Garry pushed himself off of the couch, giving Liv a half smile as he passed. “Take this to the pub, tell Chas we’ll explain later.”
He reached into the cupboard, pulling out the bottle of vodka.
“What?” Aaron prompted as she pulled a face.
“It’s uh—that one’s mostly water,” she said and Robert sighed but didn’t look surprised as he passed it to Aaron who emptied that one too.
Gerry took the bag and left without a word.
“C’mon,” Aaron said, putting a hand on Liv’s shoulder, guiding her towards the sofa and he and Robert took a seat either side of her.
“When did this start?” Robert asked and Liv shrugged slightly.
“Drinking? Before I came here.” She looked to Aaron. “You weren’t the only one who ever broke into Gordan’s booze.” Aaron looked away with a sigh. “That was the day we left. Mum found me off my face, packed my bags and we was gone in an hour. I guess I get why the rush now.” Aaron’s arm curled around her protectively and she leant into his side. “But it only got bad after my birthday.”
“When Gabby—” Robert broke off.
“Tried to out me and tattooed the word skank on my back? Yeah, that birthday,” Liv said with a humourless laugh.
“’Nd you said you tried to stop,” Aaron prompted.
“After Lisa got hurt but I couldn’t. I—” A sob caught in her throat and she turned to hide her head in Aaron’s chest as he held her tightly.
“I know,” he murmured against her hair. “I know, alright. You’re alright.”
“’M not. I can’t stop. I don’t know how,” Liv cried.
Aaron pulled back slightly, his hands resting on her shoulders. “Hey, look at me.” He waited for her to meet his eyes. “I get it, alright. You’re self-destructing and can’t stop. I get that. You don’t have to work at the pub anymore, you can talk to me mum or I can and you can find another job. And we’re gonna help ya, alright? I’m gonna make you an appointment with my counsellor and you’re gonna go for as long as you need. And you don’t have to worry about anything but that. Even school. You getting better is more important than a few grades, alright?”
Liv chewed on the inside of her lip, trying to stop herself dissolving into a fresh wave of tears as she nodded.
“And we won’t keep alcohol around the house, or spend so much time at the pub if that helps too,” Robert said, “but you can’t keep bottling stuff up. You just need to learn of better ways to cope with things. I think we all do.” He glanced past her at Aaron and Liv remembered vaguely about Robert telling her how Aaron would bottle everything up for too long and then he’d start to self-destruct.
“I’m sorry,” Liv said, her voice cracking as the last of her walls broke. “I’m sorry for always lettin’ you down.”
She heard Aaron sigh as he and Robert wrapped their arms around her, sandwiching her in an embrace of warmth and safety.
“You’ve not let us down,” Aaron said softly, “not about this. I’m proud of you for telling us.”