Chapter Text
Fracture lines
Lighthouse 2024
It started with the fracture lines, Fitz remembers. First barely visible, but spreading and growing until they destroyed everything.
Not a day goes by without wondering where they went wrong; if there was a fork in the road they missed. Some crucial difference that could have saved Daisy; that could have saved the world.
Not a day goes by when he does not feel responsible, when he does not regret things he has done and things he failed to do, things he said and things he left unsaid, things that time does not heal.
Fitz returns his attention back to the design - the time machine meant to help them fix things - but what if instead they are just doomed to be locked into an endless loop of what ifs and regrets? He is not a religious person, but this timeless prison of past regrets feels curiously like a personalized hell to pay for all his sins.
He thinks of their last day before the end of the world and his hands are on autopilot as he scribbles something on the margins of the schematics.
His daughter hops into the room, her little face lit with an excited smile.
“What’s up, little monkey?” he asks pulling her into a hug.
“Owen and I found this.” she opens her palms as if revealing a treasure. It’s a battered cricket – generations of it probably survived in some dark corner of the Lighthouse. It may be the last of its kind.
“It’s amazing. Did you know that if you treat it nice and listen carefully, it will play music for you?” he tells her.
Her smile grows wider – she is an explorer like her mother. But while Jemma had the expanse of the universe, their daughter’s world has shrunk to this miserable underground bunker on a broken space-rock held together by threads that get weaker every day.
Not a day goes by without wishing he could rewrite the past.
++++++
Herefordshire, 2018
Daisy remembers the fracture lines on her bones as she stares at her gauntlets. The ones Fitz made for her when she ran away feeling undeserving of the love of her chosen family. She remembers his shy smile when he showed them to her as if it was not a big deal and the instant relief they brought. He used to be like that; using his science to help and protect.
The memory is replaced in a flash and she remembers again everything – the pain, the helplessness, the fear, the shock of betrayal and his cold, unfeeling eyes. Her anger is back and so is the sick feeling in her stomach. He is not that caring person anymore, he changed. You’re just different now and there’s nothing wrong with that. She wills away the memory – it hurts to remember how close they were once. He used to be like a brother, but he turned on her. They both did.
“Your scientist friends” Hale said, but friends don't betray each other, friends don't walk away... Do you want me to recount all the times you did? It makes her sick remembering their argument. How dare he after what he did? …Daisy is fuming now.
She watches from the corner of her eyes as Fitz and Simmons discuss in hushed voices how to best transport the gravitonium and the device back to the Lighthouse. They both look shaken; Fitz looks bruised. She tells herself they should have listened to her.
May appears in the doorway. “Are we ready here?” she asks eager to head back to Coulson.
Daisy shrugs “I don’t know, ask them.”
May makes a face. The mom face. Her lips are pursed and she rolls her eyes slightly – clearly aggravated with the fighting among her children. But she doesn’t say anything. She lets out a huff, and walks over to Fitzsimmons – they talk quietly.
Daisy cannot bear watching and remembering anymore. She walks back to the Zephyr to oversee the preparations.
++++++
The fracture lines run through his ribs. Every breath hurts, but the pain is almost welcome over the numbness he has been feeling.
“I need to check your wound.” Jemma says quietly, but her voice is laced with worry.
“I’m fine. Let’s get this done and you can poke me on the way back.” Fitz replies without looking up. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Daisy. He knows her well enough to see she is angry. He wishes there was anything he could say to fix it. The magic formula to get them back to how they used to be – laughing, joking, being together. She was like a sister he never had. But he knows it’s too late – the hurt runs too deep. I will never forgive you. He is beyond forgiveness – he knows that. The silence is suffocating him as much as his broken ribs.
He watches the last boxes roll onto the cargo ramp and he leans on Jemma as they make their way slowly to one of the small bunks. He collapses on the bed with a groan. Jemma opens his shirt – and puts an icepack on his ribs.
“Your gunshot wound re-opened.” she says frowning. She disinfects and bandages the wound, and Fitz keeps staring at the ceiling, remembering Daisy's silence.
“Do you think Yo-Yo broke the loop?” Jemma asks quietly.
“I don’t know. I guess we have no way of knowing until it’s too late.” he looks at her. She was so sure that she found a way out of this nightmare– but now Jemma looks defeated too.
“I’ll give you something for the pain.” she says filling a needle. Fitz closes his eyes, exhausted. Jemma curls up next to him on the narrow bed – and the warm breeze of her even breaths on his neck and the weight of her head in the crook of his shoulder are the only things that make sense in the chaos of timeloops as he drifts off into a restless sleep.
They wake up just before landing at the Lighthouse and shuffle down to the cargo ramp to oversee the transfer of the materials. Daisy appears – dark circles around her eyes -she apparently hasn't been sleeping much either. She still does not say a word to them.
“I guess you want me back in holding?” Fitz asks quietly.
“Go, ask Coulson – it’s not as if you care what I want, anyway.” Daisy replies sharply without looking at him and turns on her heel. Her words pierce right through him – she is not wrong to be angry.
2 days later
++++++++++
The fracture lines run through their hearts, as they argue about what to do, looking at the footage showing Coulson wondering through the city. He seems disoriented – and destruction follows him around.
“You can’t go out there, Daisy”, May pleads. “You’ll destroy everything.”
“She’s right. You saw it on Voss’ video. This is the moment”, Jemma adds.
“It’s Coulson. We have to save him.” Daisy gives them a sharp look. “I can save him – I could have gotten through to Ruby if Yo-Yo hadn’t rushed in. I’ll get through to him.” She knows he would save her, she cannot bear letting him down.
“Let me come with you” Deke offers.
“No way”, snaps back Daisy.
“We should all go.” suggests May. “We are a team.”
“Don’t you think we already tried that?” Daisy retorts. “Look at Robin, May. She is alone, she is scared – she needs you. You are her mother now.”
“But I cannot leave Coulson behind…” May looks back at her with the pain of unresolved things reflecting in her eyes. Daisy grabs her hand to reassure her.
“We are not leaving him behind. I can do this… I was always meant to do this… He’ll listen to me… May, I need you here – you’ll have to lead if we do not come back.” May nods and wraps Daisy into a hug. “Be careful, Daisy, you are my daughter, too. And bring him back.” she whispers. Daisy stands up – she can swear she sees tears glimmering in May’s eyes. She clears her throat.
“You guys stay here – it’s an order. All of you.” she says forcefully and marches off with resolve in her heart. She got this, that’s why Coulson chose her – to protect them.
++++++++++
The fracture lines run through all of the drawings, dark and ominous. Fitz watches Robin draw the inevitable doom waiting for them. They failed again, he thinks bitterly.
“We can’t just let her leave – surely…” Deke says his voice vibrating with nervousness, his eyes flicking between May, Jemma and Fitz. “You guys know what happens.”
“You heard her…” May says. “It’s best if we wait…”
“If only we had a clue about what happens next.” Fitz sighs. “Deke – anything?”
Deke shrugs with a grimace on his face “I told you already, I hardly knew my parents. I didn’t know much about this prophecy stuff… Maybe ask Robin to draw a…” suddenly he has that look – Fitz knows that look – he has seen it so many times on Jemma’s face.
“What is it?” Fitz asks Deke.
Deke runs over to where Robin is sitting. He grabs a crayon and a paper and quickly makes a childish sketch. He pushes the paper into Fitz’s hand. “Does this mean anything to you?”
“What is this?” asks Fitz as he squints at the drawing that looks like some sort of device.
Deke’s voice trembles with excitement. “It was a little doodle on the margin of the time machine schematics. I remember because my mum and dad kept arguing what it was supposed to do. Dad thought that it didn’t fit with the rest of the design, but mum always believed it was important somehow.”
“It looks an awful lot like…” Fitz mutters to himself. “Could it be so simple…?”
“What is it?” Jemma asks looking over his shoulder.
“It’s the device Mack and I made to take out Creel when we first encountered him– and if Coulson got infused with the gravitonium, it could work on him too.” Fitz ponders. “With some modifications…it could render the gravitonium inert long enough…”
“Or it could kill him.” May interjects.
“It didn’t kill Creel.” Fitz looks back at her. “It may be his best chance, May. It maybe our best chance.” He adds and hurries off to the lab of the Zephyr, to find the device.
He leans over it and looks at Deke's doodles trying to figure out the modifications. He does not have to look up to know when Jemma enters the lab.
“Are you going after her?” she asks, her voice strained.
“I have to try, this could be it.” Fitz replies, taking her hand into his.
“How can you be sure we haven’t tried this?” Jemma asks warily. He shrugs. There is no way of knowing. It’s maddening.
“Because we have a rule. When have I ever dared breaking your rules?” he tries to joke.
“It’s not my rule, Fitz. It’s our rule. I need you –“ her voice breaks a little and tears start pooling in her eyes. “We need you…” she says pointing to her stomach.
Fitz looks back at her in shock and feels like the floor is yanked out from under his feet. He should feel joy, wonderment, elation – but he is mostly aware of the fear twisting his insides into knots. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks.
“I didn’t realize it, until earlier today – I wanted… to tell you when we had a moment...Not like this...” She looks away. She does not seem happy – it should be a moment of joy, Fitz thinks. He pulls Jemma into a hug and kisses her softly. “You’ll be a great mother. The best.”
“You see – that’s why you cannot leave.” Jemma rests her forehead against his.
Fitz thinks in panic. He needs to stay and protect Jemma and the baby. He cannot to go. Or maybe that is why he has to?
“That’s why I need to do this for you and for her – she can’t…you saw what it was like…she can’t grow up like that. I can’t fail her even before she’s born.” he whispers.
Jemma just shakes her head. “You want her to grow up without a father? You know what that is like…I can’t do this alone, Fitz. None of it.” Tears are running down her face. Fitz feels his heart torn into two. Of course, he does not want to leave their daughter. He knows all too well the hurt, the pain. Would he ever choose to walk away? Did they ever try this?
“I’ll be back. And if not, you’ll tell her why, Jemma. Remember? I’ll always be with you.” He points at her heart. Jemma embraces him and her tears moisten the collar of his shirt. He kisses her forehead one last time and disentangles himself from the embrace.
He turns to leave. As he climbs in the quinjet he sees Deke sprawled out in the pilot seat.
“What are you doing here?” Fitz asks angrily.
“I’m coming with you, man.” Deke replies.
“Like hell you are – go back down, Deke.” Fitz lets out an exasperated sigh.
“I want to make sure Daisy is ok.” Deke looks at him stubbornly.
“What can you possibly do to help?” Fitz scowls.
“Well, I won’t know until I get there, will I? Look, I just feel I have to do this. You’re not my father…” Deke’s voice trails off and grimaces. “I mean technically you’re my grandfather… in some weird way.. but that’s beside the point. I get to make my own choices.” he says. "Growing up in the Lighthouse, there were never good choices – just survival. But being on this team, this is what I learnt, you get to make choices that matter. I want to do something…good, for once.”
Fitz looks at him and sees his younger self. The one who believed being good was a choice, who was sometimes foolish and almost immediately regretted his heroic grandstanding, but someone who slept sound at night, without demons haunting his dreams. He feels proud of Deke, despite himself.
“Deke…” he says with a small smile, but Deke interrupts.
“It’s not a big deal really…I’m supposed to be dead anyways or unborn... And you…”
“Deke…” Fitz says again. “Buckle up.” He sits at the controls of the quinjet and punches in the coordinates. The quinjet detaches from the Zephyr and they are flying over the city, trying to find Daisy.
“Tell me about your mother.” Fitz asks quietly.
“I thought you guys didn’t want to know more.” Deke looks at him with surprise.
“Just tell me about her.” Fitz repeats.
Deke nods. “She had curly hair and a smile like Jemma’s. She always smiled, even when things were terrible. Nothing ever could break her spirit. She told me, you used to call her your little monkey. She loved your stories – about quantum physics and parallel universes. She believed there was a universe where she would swim in the ocean, and find shells…”
Fitz listens to him and he can almost picture her. She is the most precious thing he can imagine. He has never met her yet, but already loved and raised her in the intricate folds of space-time. He would die to make her dreams come true.
++++++