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It takes Jules three days after his parents have left DS9 for him to give in and pick me up.
I'm grateful.
Not that I mind being a decoration on his shelf collecting dust – I've had a good life, and my memories keep me going and that's all a bear really needs, but something is wrong and those are the days I don't like.
A bear doesn't let his boy cry without him...
He picks me up slowly as if my head will lull forward and pop off,tumble to the floor and leaving a right old mess of fluff on his bedroom floor.
If I could I'd remind him that he sewed it back on not that long ago with some pretty sturdy stuff from the medical kit he keeps tucked under his bed, and that I was feeling better than I had in years thank you very much.
After that he grips me sheepishly in his hands then clutches me to his chest and curls up on his bed.
I can't do much but I can be there.
I don't know what's going on.
It doesn't matter.
I just sit there and let him hold me, his grip getting tighter and tighter as he starts to shake and he brings his knees up to his chest.
He buries his face between my ears and gives a wet sniff, most likely leaving a thin trail of gunk that will give me a nice new look until Jules notices and smooths it back for me.
I give him soothing silence as he finally lets everything that's been building up over the course of the last few days leak out.
Eventually his chest evens out and I can hear the soft sound of his breathing down the back of my neck.
He's worn himself out.
I don't know if this will be the last night or if is the beginning of a series of nights like this, and as much as I love the familiar too tight crush of his arms around my tummy I want him to be better and it is my duty as a bear to do as much as I can.
So when he comes home a little later than normal smelling of something sweet and strong with a goofy grin on his face I am happy.
When he picks me up from his bedside table and smooths down my fur and places me back on the shelf I am happy.
When his head hits the pillow, calls for lights off, and falls asleep right away I am happy.
In the dark I will remember mud puddles and climbing trees and playing doctor's patient, assistant,co-pilot and explorer.
And I am happy.