Chapter Text
2:07 am
Peter's heart clenched, his lungs felt like they were deflating. His mouth went wide with fear, with so many emotions his tiny teenage brain can't comprehend them. He dramatically dropped to the ground in front of her, wheezing like a track star after a run. He tasted his salty tears on his tongue and just stared, his eyes never left her lifeless one. He sobbed, wrapping his arms around himself. He was scared to touch her, like he would make her more dead than she already was.
"May!" Peter whimpered, his voice ragged and low. "Please no, god no." No no no no no no no-
"Please, fuck!" He viciously wiped at his eyes, wanting to soak her in before he never saw her again. He reached out and gently closed her dull eyes, unable to handle the missing sparkle. He flinched back when he felt just how cold his aunt was. "I love you, May." He whispered.
Peter saw no wounds, nothing that could cause this. He knows people don't just drop dead, but he couldn't think about that, much less in general.
4:45 am
With shaky hands, Peter reached for his phone. He scrolled for what seems like forever since his eyes won't focus on the screen and they leak tears when he sees 'May' in his contact list. He finds himself pressing it, helpless to his emotions when it goes straight to her voicemail.
'Hey it's May Parker, please leave a message and I'll get back to you asap!'
Peter pressed the end call button a little harder than he normally would and kept scrolling until he saw Mr. Stark's grainy contact photo. He pressed the call button and waited.
The man picked up after 5 rings with a very annoyed tone. "I know I said call whenever, but I didn't think... You okay, kid?"
Peter couldn't hold himself together enough to say it, say anything. He took the phone away from his ear and ended the call, throwing it somewhere in the living room. He hears it vibrate, probably Mr. Stark calling but he can't pick it up. He can't take his eyes off his aunt. He can't remember what he last said to her, or when the last time they hugged for longer than a second. He can't remember how her laugh sounded like or even what her smile looked like. If he's already forgetting these detail of a lifetime, how will he last his own? He hopes he said something along the lines of I love you and not his usual teenage snark. He hear banging on the door but isn't bother to open it. He doesn't even take his eyes away to look at who is now standing above him. He doesn't look for who's placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, who's kneeling next to him.
"Pete." Mr. Stark says softly. "C'mon, kid."
Peter thrashes when the man tries to lift him away, he hits and kicks and beats against his mentor chest, wanting to be let down. He doesn't care if he hurts him because Peter is too hurt. This is a sadness that will never leave or fade. He hates the man shushing him while he yells himself hoarse. He takes one last glance of May before Mr. Stark and Happy are restraining him, dumping them into Rhodey's arms.
"Let me see her!" Peter cries into the man's chest. He can feel the awkwardness and discomfort in the man holding him but he can't do anything about it.
"It's okay." Rhodey cooed, patting his tense back.
This makes Peter cry harder and push away from him. He braces himself against the wall, but doesn't try to go back into his apartment. He can't breath, he can't-
"Breath. In and out, that's right." Rhodey is on his again but Peter's can't see him. He clenched his eyes shut and is pulling it his shirt like it's strangling him. He feels like he'll never calm down. He'll never get over this. Will he ever breath right again?
And then he'd being guided out. There's strong hands on his biceps and soft ones on his back. May's body keeps flashing in his mind when he blinks his eyes and then he being yanked back away from the steep staircase because he almost fell down it. They're whispering that he'll be okay with time but Peter knows it isn't true. Time won't bring May back. Time wouldn't heal his broken heart nor his empty soul. His family tree was now just him, and him only. Peter's body was alone with only him and this sadness. This sadness would last his lifetime, he was sure of it.
He blinks his eyes and sees Mr. Stark crouching in front of him holding his sweaty hands. His lips are moving and he is defiantly speaking to Peter but he never hears it.
Then he's sat in a car in between Rhodey and Mr. Stark, the front seat was absent. The car was dead silent just like the compound would be that they were now at. He was being carried in this time, letting his head loll back as Happy opened the door. Peter feels absolutely nothing but grief and guilt and every other fucking heartache song is playing in his head. The lyrics and haunting him and playing on repeat but they override his senses.
Mr. Stark sat next to him in silence. He didn't ask questions, didin't make Peter talk. He didn't wonder about the shit show that was his brain.
Peter cleared his throat, making the man next to him jump. "Mr. Stark?" He whispered.
Mr. Stark was watching him now, turning so that their bodies were faced together. "Yeah, kid?" It was the softest works the man has ever spoken to Peter.
"May is dead." His voice cracks on the last words. Peter's breakdown his quiet this time, his lip quivers as tears stream like rivers down his cheeks.
Hes being hugged. Hugged as gently and awkwardly as possibly. Peter can't move his limbs though, so he leans into Mr. Stark's chest. He feels a new warmth that has his body tingling. A hand is holding the back of his head and the other is resting on his prominent spine. Peter takes his first clear breath in what feel like years and he closes his eyes. He only sees black this time.
"Yeah." Mr. Stark whispers back. "She is."
Peter breathed without her, wondering how he did it.