Work Text:
“Stiles, hi,” Kane says when Stiles enters his office, closing the door behind him. “Are you looking for Jackson?”
“No, I know he’s in court this morning, that’s why I came.”
“Shouldn’t you be with the baby?”
“Ilya is with his grandparents for the day, and I wanted to talk to you. I need to talk to somebody and I can’t talk to my father or to my mother-in-law because I’m afraid that it would only make things worse with Jackson.”
“Make things worse? What things?”
“Come on… You’ve seen him. You must have seen that he’s not himself… You must--”
“Hold on. Since he’s been back, I’ve barely talked to him at work. I only saw him at that meeting where you told us what was going on with Ilya… but since then… I don’t know, maybe he’s been avoiding me?” It makes sense, now that he stops to think about it.
“Of course, he’s been avoiding you.”
“Why, what’s going on?” Kane frowns.
“What do you think?” Stiles waves both arms.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” Kane says, pointing to the armchair on the other side of the desk.
“Fine,” Stiles agrees reluctantly. “I know that when we agreed to have another baby I said I’d stop working and I’d stay at home when he was born so that Jackson could go back to work, and really, I understand why we said that. And now I’m studying for the exam and I’m at home, and hell, I get to look after Ilya most of the day which I love but…” Stiles stays silent as he tries to order his thoughts.
“But what?” Kane frowns.
“He went back to work almost at the same time we found out about Ilya’s problem and things have been different since then. He’s different.”
“Different how?”
Stiles snorts. “I don’t even know where to start. It’s just… he was so happy after we got together… You know what I mean...” Stiles doesn’t think he needs to actually say it and Kane nods which is a relief.
“And you saw him… after Ilya was born, he was over the moon because the baby was fine and he finally could have his body back. I’ve never seen him happier. But then, since Ilya was diagnosed… like I said, he’s changed. And I’ve tried to be understanding but it’s been three weeks, and shit, this is hard for me too. He should know that, right?”
“Have you told him that?”
“Do I really need to? For god’s sake, he’s my mate! Isn’t he supposed to feel how I feel because I certainly do. I know what he’s going through. I know that he feels like he failed somehow. Like what has happened is his fault, and he’s at home and he looks at him and he’s reminded of that, and do you have any idea how much that breaks my heart? That’s why he couldn’t wait to get back to work.”
“Yes, that totally sounds like him. Work has always been his safe place. He loves to prove he’s the best at what he does, and I guess he needs to prove that to himself again. You don’t have to be a genius to see what he’s doing.”
“Yeah, it’s unbelievable. Just the fact that he needs to prove anything at this point makes me want to… shit! I don’t know…”
“I know exactly what you mean… I’ve been there a few times myself.” Kane smirks. “But I’m sorry to say this: he’s never gonna change. It’s in his bones… it’s the way he thinks. When the accident happened he couldn’t stop thinking about all the reasons he was the one to blame and now he’s doing exactly the same. You’ve got the pattern right there… But whatever he’s doing, it has nothing to do with his feelings for you or Ilya--”
“I know. I know he loves him, he loves him so much that he can’t bear the thought of being responsible for his disability but it’s not only affecting him, it’s also affecting both of us, our relationship. And like I said, I don’t understand how this isn’t affecting his wolf…”
“What do you mean?” Kane frowns.
“I mean that we hugged after we got the results at the hospital and he hasn’t touched me or you know…” Stiles waves his right hand. “Since then, and that was three weeks ago… almost a month. What the hell is going on with his wolf? Doesn’t he miss me? I don’t get it.”
Because hell, Stiles misses him. He misses his touch and the closeness they had, it’s a really strange feeling. He’s never felt this way before and that has to be the reason why it feels so scary.
“And you are asking me?” Kane raises his eyebrows. “Shouldn’t you talk to my husband about that?”
Stiles snorts a laugh. “Are you kidding? Things are complicated enough without getting him involved. If Jackson found out I talked to him about this, I’d never hear the end of it… so, no, that’s out of the question. There has to be another way to figure this out.”
“Do you realize that you’re trying to find some logic in something that doesn’t really have a rational explanation? Yes, he’s partially human but he’s also a supernatural creature, which I know it’s very easy to forget about sometimes. I mean, it happens to me all the time,” Kane says, waving his right arm. “But the relationship between him and his wolf is so complex… I don’t think you should bother trying to figure it out. Personally, I gave up trying a long time ago.”
“Yeah, well, you’re probably right, but it might be easier for you than for me. You don’t have a werewolf son to worry about as well.”
“Yes, that’s true.” Kane nods.
There is silence after that. Both of them are thinking about what the other just said.
“Look,” Kane finally says, “I’m no expert but I think that there could be a number of reasons to explain his wolf’s submission... or whatever you think his wolf is doing or not doing. For starters, I think he’s stronger since the accident. When you rejected him, he clearly learned to control his wolf in a way he had never done before. He had to tell him that he couldn’t have what he wanted anymore, and like I said, his human side got stronger. And at the same time, maybe… just maybe… there’s a part of him that might be ashamed if he feels responsible. Perhaps it’s his way of punishing himself if he feels like he doesn’t deserve you after what he’s done. But I mean, this is just a fucked up theory of mine. Who knows what’s really going on in his head. You’re supposed to know him better than I do.”
Yes, he’s sure that is how it was before he was in a coma, now he still feels like he’s catching up every day.
“Are you sure you’re a lawyer and not a psychologist?” Stiles smirks.
“No, no…” Kane shakes his head and bites his lip. “I have the degree to prove it. But maybe after being married to an alpha, I’ve actually learned something. And really, what Derek would tell you is to talk to him and that’s exactly what you have to do. Just be honest and tell Jackson how you feel. Don’t let him feel like he’s in control. You’re as much in control as he is and he needs to know that. Besides, Ilya needs both of you and if things aren’t good between you two--”
“Yeah. He needs to fucking accept it and move on.”
“Exactly,” Kane nods, “and remember, as long as I’ve known him, he’s never been able to say ‘no’ to you…”
Stiles wishes he could remember those times in the past. Maybe he’d feel more confident, but he doesn’t need to. He knows Jackson loves him and he knows he can do this.
“But you also need to be patient...”
Stiles snorts. “Patience has never been my strong suit… you know that, right?"
Kane looks at him in that way that is a little puzzling to Stiles before he finally speaks.
“Sorry. Sometimes I still forget. I mean…” Kane waves his left arm. ”About your amnesia… I think all those years you were apart, you changed. You matured, and being apart for so long because of college, you became more patient. Both of you, actually.”
“I wish that was something that had stayed with me… but, I’m telling you, being patient, that’s not me right now. And hell, maybe he’s forgotten too…”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he had… but I think he’s just in his own world. I imagine he’s not thinking about how it is affecting you.”
“Yeah, he’s in Jackson mode alright,” Stiles nods.
Kane snorts a laugh but doesn’t say anything.
“Thanks,” Stiles says, getting up.
“Anytime.” Kane smiles.
Stiles heads to the door. “I’ll text you,” he adds before leaving.