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English
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Part 81 of Life as I see it
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2018-08-24
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1,569
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1/1
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You don't deserve pain

Summary:

Oliver thinks he deserves pain and it breaks Felicity's heart.

Notes:

This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place after Oliver's imprisonment. Oliver has been out of prison for 300 days.

The series will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.

I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

P.s. Thank you Crazyreader2468 for this prompt. You definitely make me a better writer when you challenge me to think about my stories more profoundly. You're amazing.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Felicity was in the bunker and she frowned worriedly as she looked at one of her screens. She was getting live feed from Oliver’s bodycam and she could see him fighting three scumbags. She knew he was going to be fine because she trusted in his abilities to take care of himself in the field. Besides, Roy and John were with him and they would always have each other’s backs. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel a bit stressed out every time she saw someone trying to beat up her husband and friends.

Felicity typed furiously and cursed out loud before she spoke over the comms: “Green Arrow, the guy on your five o’clock has another gun.”

Felicity chewed her bottom lip and sucked it in her mouth while she kept watching the live feed. Oliver put an arrow through the scumbag’s foot. The guy screamed in pain and stumbled backwards. It didn’t take long before Oliver took out the other two. She sighed relieved and nodded in approval as she checked the perimeter for new enemies but there was no one.

Felicity said over the comms: “Good job, boys. I let SCPD know there’s a special delivery waiting for them.”

“Copy that, Overwatch. We’re there in 10 minutes,” John said firmly.

Felicity smiled at herself and spun around in her chair. She stretched her arms up in the air and pushed her glasses up. She rubbed her eyes with her hands and yawned. She wasn’t young anymore and she was getting tired during the nightshifts although she wouldn’t admit it out loud. She always teased how Oliver was getting older but truth to be told, so was she.

Felicity leaned back in her chair. She rested her head against her hand and yawned again. She closed her eyes and dreamt about her bed. She would love to cuddle against Oliver’s chest and feel his warmness surrounding her. She could feel safe and loved. When she slept next to Oliver, she felt relaxed. Falling in sleep and waking up beside him was the one of the best things in Felicity’s life.

Felicity opened her eyes as she heard voices coming closer to her. Soon Oliver, John and Roy appeared behind a corner and they talked to each other quietly. Felicity smiled at her boys while they walked towards her computer station. Oliver returned the smile before turning his attention back to the conversation he was having with John and Roy.

Roy slipped the zipper of his leather jacket down and informed the others: “I’m going to take a shower first.”

“Fine,” John huffed with irritation but there was also a hint of amusement in his voice.

Roy winked his eye at Felicity and smiled sheepishly. Felicity shook her head with amusement and turned to look at her husband. She rose to her feet and walked over to him. Oliver smiled at her lovingly and pulled her close to his body. He rested his hand on her shoulders as they looked at John who had folded his arms across his chest. Felicity wrapped her arm around Oliver’s waist.

Felicity asked: “How was your patrol? Everything seemed to go according to a plan.”

“It went okay,” John said and glanced at Oliver for a confirmation.

Oliver nodded in response and Felicity tightened her grip on Oliver’s waist. Oliver winced a bit and she didn’t almost catch it. However, John also saw it and he narrowed his eyes. He asked with concern: “Are you okay, Oliver?”

“I’m fine,” Oliver answered and Felicity rolled her eyes. It was like an autopilot took over when Oliver talked about how he was – he always said he was fine whether he was almost dying or it was something a little less dramatic.

Felicity looked at him over the top of her glasses and cleared her throat. She said in a demanding tone: “Let me see.”

“Felicity,” Oliver groaned but Felicity interrupted him before he had a chance to say something more. She said: “Don’t even start, mister. Take your shirt off.”

Oliver ran his hands over his face and wrinkled his nose. Felicity raised a single brow in challenge and repeated even more sternly: “Take your shirt off.”

Oliver looked at John helplessly but he just raised his hands up in the air and stated: “Don’t look at me, man.”

Oliver sighed deeply and lifted the hem of his leather jacket. Felicity gasped as she saw a huge red spot on his side. It looked like someone had kicked him and his ribs were definitely going to bruise. Felicity touched it with the tips of her fingers and narrowed her eyes as she turned to look at her husband. She asked: “When did this happened?”

Oliver shrugged dismissively and Felicity resist the urge to shove his shoulder. Oliver had gotten better at telling about his injuries and emotions but he was still downplaying them. It was obvious he didn’t enjoy talking about his feelings or pain and he always find a way to blame himself. Felicity was sure Oliver thought he deserved pain.

“It’s nothing,” Oliver mumbled and looked down at his shoes while Felicity wrinkled her nose.

Felicity stroked his stubble and smiled at him softly. She said pleadingly: “Oliver, you have to tell us about your injuries, no matter how small or meaningless they seem to be.”

“I’m used to pain. It’s not a big deal,” Oliver said and looked down at his shoes.

“Not a big deal?” Felicity gasped as she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It hurt her when Oliver talked like that. She loved him more than anything and she wanted him to see himself as he was. Besides, nobody deserved what he had gone through. Felicity shook her head to clear her mind and said louder: “You shouldn’t be used to pain.”

Oliver’s eyes drifted back to hers. Felicity grabbed his hand and said: “Oliver, you shouldn’t know what it feels like to be whipped or stabbed. You shouldn’t know what it’s like to stitch your own bullet wounds.”

Oliver took a step backwards away from Felicity and there was a wild look in his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about the topic but Felicity needed him to hear that he didn’t deserve pain. He needed to hear that he wasn’t to blame. Felicity hoped Oliver would listen to her but he took another step backwards.

John cleared his throat and said in a stern voice: “Oliver, please. Listen to your wife. You’re my brother and you need to hear this.”

Oliver turned to face his friend and John arched a brow in challenge. Oliver sighed and pressed his lips tightly together. Yet, he stopped backing down. He looked at Felicity cautiously and she offered him a small, encouraging smile. She said softly: “You don’t have to say anything, Oliver. You don’t have to tell us anything painful. I just want to give you something to think about.”

Before Felicity started to talk again, she took a deep breath and bushed the air from her lungs. She studied Oliver’s eyes as she said: “Sometimes I feel like you think you deserve those kicks and hits in the field. You always push yourself further and further. I’m not saying you should stop being who you are but I’ve planned on getting old you beside me, Oliver. I love you and I can say for sure you don’t deserve to be hurt – physically or emotionally. Someone or something causing you pain isn’t your fault.”

Oliver blinked a few times but he said nothing. Felicity repeated more quietly: “It’s not your fault.”

Oliver stared at Felicity a long time and after that he turned to look at John. John nodded in agreement and took a step towards Oliver. When Oliver didn’t flinched away, John placed his hand on Oliver’s shoulder and squeezed it. John smiled at Oliver and patted his shoulder. Then John gave a small nod to Felicity and she nodded back with a small smile on her lips.

“I’m going to go to check on Roy. He’s wasting water,” John said tactically and winked his eye at Felicity. He walked away, leaving Felicity alone with Oliver. Felicity knew it was John’s way to give Oliver and her some space.

Felicity went up to Oliver and wrapped her arms around his waist. She tried to avoid touching his bruised ribs. She buried her face in his chest and Oliver snaked his arm around her body. Felicity let out a content hum and Oliver dropped a small kiss to the top of her head. He whispered in her hair: “I love you. Thank you.”

Felicity tilted her head to look at him. She saw a genuine smile on his lips and she could feel a lump in her throat. Her voice was thick with emotions as she said: “Anytime. I love you too, you know?”

“I know,” Oliver said without hesitation. Felicity nodded in approval and Oliver went on: “It has taken me quite long time to understand that you actually love me but now I’m willing to accept it. Finally, I’m not scared of being loved by you or William.”

“Good,” Felicity answered and rested her head against his chest. She continued: “You deserve to be loved, not to be in pain. Stop punishing yourself for every bad thing in the world. It’s not your fault.”

“I’m trying,” Oliver promised.

Notes:

Update for tomorrow:
It's time for MasterChef à la Queen-Clayton (and Smoak).

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