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It turned out Nines actually liked things.
It occurred to him some time after the red wall had fallen and his mind had cleared. The thought didn’t hit him all of a sudden, in any poetic way, no. The revelation slowly creeped its way to him, encircling the lines of his code until his awareness hugged it back, and he understood. Deviants were capable of liking. He was too.
Crucial as it was, it was also simple. He liked the way a new loose tee shirt wrapped itself around his broad shoulders and hung freely from them, giving him a feeling of comfort. He liked windy days when a breeze would tousle his hair, and a soft sunrise light falling through the windows. He liked yellow and sunflowers, liked a floral shirt he once saw a little boy wearing, liked the sound of dogs breathing and droplets reaching metal window sills calmly. There were moments when he had to decide – did he like a body warmer more than a coat? Which brand of cologne should he purchase? Did he really felt like going on a walk or did he prefer staying inside? – but some of these preferences came up easily.
He liked the smell of Gavin’s usual black coffee and the texture of a paper cup in his hand. He liked the scar on the bridge of his partner’s nose, the stormy grey of his eyes and the small smile the man would give him when he did or said something funny. It soothed him to find the familiar silhouette amongst the others, unknown, when they were on an investigation and the warm presence beside him when they sat in a car on a stakeout. He didn’t understand what it meant to be so strongly affected by these tiny things, but he liked it anyway. It made him feel more human .
(Oh, if only CyberLife could see him now, the better Connor , the chance to save humanity , with his code full of feelings he couldn’t comprehend.)
One of the things his memory held and shielded from the destructive world was the light on Gavin’s face as they entered a funfair that was supposed to be an area of the stakeout – the appointed place of a red ice dealer and his client. The carnival was full of children and their parents, and teenagers probably having their dates, and elders that came here to retrace their youth memories, and androids that recently discovered the idea of fun. Nines’ internal clock projected a few minutes after eight p.m., and the sky was deep dark by now, yet the crowds occupying the amusement park were still thick, not that the android minded.
(He liked people. He liked to be among them.)
Nines slipped his hands into the pockets of his lemon body warmer and glanced around, letting his lucid eyes linger on the swift attractions and colorful stalls. He tried not to scan everything around – Gavin didn’t really like it – and just concentrate on simply watching, but a couple notes and conclusions made their way to his vision.
Most of these attractions weren’t safe. They were wobbly and set up in a rush, their structure weak. His calculations showed a relatively high probability of an accident, and as he had analyzed each one that happened to be in his area of sight, he decided not to let Gavin on any of them.
(He didn’t like the thought of his partner getting hurt. The aspect of not liking was yet mostly unfamiliar, a brand new thing.)
“We could have some fun before he arrives,” the android heard Gavin say and when his gaze floated to the man, he saw him looking around with a smile. A faint and not quite full, but it was there, drawing graceful wrinkles around Gavin’s lips and nose. Making Nines want to compliment on them.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he replied instead, brow furrowed. Obviously it wasn’t what he thought – it would be nice to spend more easy time with his partner, learn about his likes, but he also knew it wouldn’t be good for the stakeout. He’d get distracted, which was an effortless thing around Gavin.
The man looked at him with an unimpressed expression on his face. “Do you have any updates on the suspect?”
And although Nines knew what it gave rise to, he answered honestly. “No. Connor remains silent.” Truth it was, the connection with his predecessor stayed quiet and calm, no comments from RK800 sailing through it. Gavin nodded.
“We don’t know when he’ll be here. It could be in ten minutes, or an hour. Come on. Maybe androids don’t get bored, but I surely do,” he mumbled and once again his eyes searched the rows of rides and mini-games booths. RK900 sighed and rolled his eyes – a manner he got after Lieutenant Anderson thanks to all those hours spent in his and Connor’s company – and waited patiently to see if Gavin was a fan of these sketchy roller-coasters and their cousins.
Thankfully, he was not.
He chose the closest mini-game – half-hidden under a striped, material roof, but illuminated by a set of star-shaped lights that gave the stall somewhat warm and magic look. A man that apparently owned it was somewhere in his forties and wore a joyful smile on his wrinkled face as he instructed a teenage boy with a blonde girl standing beside him how to play. Gavin rummaged through his back pockets in search of his wallet and Nines seized the opportunity to take a closer look at the game itself, his gaze immediately flying to the booth’s wall.
Against it, three separate constructions made of milk jars stood, probably set to be targets of whatever game the man offered. They were situated quite neatly as for a human, so the short glass towers looked rather stable and placed within two meters from where the counter was, they seemed to be fair goals. It shouldn’t be difficult to throw off all nine jars that made up for one structure at once.
As he finished his analysis, the teenager threw his first ball, the four others laying on the spot in front of him. He hit only one jar, smashing the adjacent two down with it, but the rest remained untouched. The situation repeated until almost the entire tower fell – one piece still standing proudly, seemingly laughing at the kid’s face, but he walked away satisfied nonetheless; the girl received a plush giraffe and gave him a peck in return.
“Three, please,” Gavin said to the man and handed him a banknote. Nines eyed his partner, then the target. He should make it, if the calculations were correct.
He did. Used all three balls to reach the goal, but the tower came down with a noise and the fair-haired man passed Gavin an elastic keychain with a sound sensor that activated a flashlight upon a whistle as a prize. Gavin snorted, lifting it and pretending to stick it to Nines’ arm.
“I’m gonna glue it to you, so I won’t lose you,” he joked and the man behind the counter laughed loudly, looking at the android before bending down to pick the glass from the floor.
“I’m gonna buy a chip and use GPS, so you won’t be able to run away,” Nines bit back, earning a noisy burst of laugh from the booth owner who accidentally hit the wall with his head and a shocked look from Gavin. Shocked and betrayed, he could describe it.
Gavin shook his head, but said nothing, amusement playing around the corners of his lips. He pointed at Nines when the man appeared in their sight again. “Wonders of technology, huh?”
The owner looked surprised, his gaze winging towards Nines’ temple as if to try and spot his LED; he didn’t though. It was long gone, making the android appear much more human than before which helped him in job-related activities.
“Didn’t know it was one of them. You know, I think they’re better than most of humans, buddy. It applies to this one, too. You’re lucky.” The wink that followed the sentence made Gavin’s cheeks turn slightly pink for unknown reason.
(Nines decided that he liked this color, too, in particular painted on his partner’s body.)
“You want to play, pal?”
He felt taken-aback by the question, but the man was still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, so the android huffed a quiet yes . It seemed like it was normal for this stranger man to consider an android a living being, so similar to a human, and it made RK900’s artificial heart warm up. He wasn’t there when the revolution started and he barely remembered the end of it, but when he’d grasped his deviancy, he felt proud for his brothers and sisters to have fought their freedom and rights, and acceptance among mankind.
“One, three or five?” The man asked. Nines looked at Gavin and saw a challenge in his eyes. Oh, he wouldn’t be himself if he hadn’t take it.
“One,” he said, sliding a banknote down the counter, Gavin’s smirk and raised brow in his peripheral. The owner took it, handing him a single plastic ball that quickly ended up wrapped tightly by Nines’ fingers and aimed at a jar placed at the bottom, the one that seemed to hold the entire structure in place. The core. He directed the ball precisely at the opening and–
“How did you even do it?”
Gavin stared blankly at the spot where a moment ago the tower hovered. Now, the man owning the booth was cleaning up the mess Nines caused, and the android himself glanced proudly at his partner.
“Can’t accept the fact that I’m better than you?” He teased, but slouched a bit to find himself on a comfortable level of Gavin’s eyes. The icy-eyed knew the man liked it when his partner wasn’t towering over him like “a fucking Empire State Building’s copy”, as Gavin once told him; besides, it was nice to watch him from close up. The imperfections on his skin were mose visible, the marks and small scars, beauty spots and everything that made him more Gavin , a unique individual Nines was happy to be friends with.
(Nines presumably just liked Gavin. It was hard to admit, even for him, but he felt attached to him. The android was curious what would the man’s reaction be if the confession slipped out of his mouth.)
Gavin snorted. “I’m all but surprised you reached the target. Should’ve clapped.” But he didn’t. He looked up instead and something in his grey eyes shifted, making Nines’ artificial heart warm up.
“You’re great at this,” the fair-haired man commented when all three glass towers came back to life. “Here’s my offer: if you get rid of two more like this, you’ll win the main prize, huh? What do you say?”
Nines’ gaze flickered to a shelf he didn’t have time to analyze before – a shelf and a row of hangers that supported a whole collection of toys. They varied in types, colors and sizes, some of them small and colorful such as dolls or pillows, the other bigger and pastel: teddy bears, basketball balls, even tee shirts with text overprints. The android’s attention was immediately struck by the largest teddy in a light hue of lilac that hung low, indicating it was nothing less than heavy. He liked it, the color ever so pretty and the toy itself looking plushy.
“I’ll try.”
The android wasn’t surprised that he made it with easiness, gathering a not-so-thin crowd around the stall – just a couple of teenagers that tried and failed not to look impressed by Nines’ precision when the next two balls landed perfectly where he sent them. The owner couldn’t be angry anyway, given the fact that Nines made him a great advertisement which caused the teens to play, too. He didn’t seem even a bit unhappy about a disappearance of the best prize his booth offered.
Whereas Gavin shot the android the most furious glare he could afford from above the head of the lilac teddy bear he was holding.
“What am I supposed to do with this thing?”
He didn’t sound resentful – more like playful, though his face was mostly hidden behind the toy and Nines couldn’t make out any of the emotions that probably played on it. He simply smiled in return.
“Take it home. Consider it a gift.”
“A gift that I’ll have to fucking drag all around the park, great.”
“I think I don’t have to remind you that it was you who wanted to come here and play at first place.”
“Robotic bastard.”
Nines smirked, glancing around. They stayed in one place, near the previously visited booth, because of the weight and size of the prize – it wasn’t easy to carry him around, really. The teddy was nearly five feet tall which made him almost as tall as Gavin and the human was the one to hold it, so it looked ridiculously, at least to say.
“You want to go somewhere else?” Nines asked and brought his gaze back to Gavin with a soft expression on his face. He risked a longer glance, putting down the details about him once again, just like he did those thousands times that never bored him. The crooked curve of the scar and the mole under his right eye, the meadow of freckles on his cheeks, the sharp line of his jaw. Everything that seemed important and unimportant to know; everything.
“There was a game when I was younger, I‘m curious if it’s still a thing.”
“Want me to search the map?”
The android asked the question only out of politeness, already knowing Gavin’s response.
“No. Let’s just look for it.”
And so they did. Nines liked it better this way, too; it was much more nicer to walk around the carnival in silence than mechanically seek the information in the web like a computer. It made him feel and appear more human if he acted like one which he knew that made Gavin feel better.
(He liked the looks his partner would give him after catching him doing some tics, even the nervous ones.)
Nines almost felt guilty for letting Gavin carry the teddy bear for the entire walk – it surely didn’t tire him out, but very likely made him uncomfortable to have to peek out over the toy like a five-year-old. Almost. He could recall all the times when his partner was a little shit to him, so the current situation was a kind of revenge, even if he was more civil and wouldn’t sneer at the human the way he did at the beginning of their partnership.
(Besides, the android liked that this way he had more possibilities to touch his partner: whether they were passing someone and Gavin didn’t notice them – that’s when Nines’ hand landed on the small of his back – or when he had to guide Gavin on the corners – the fingers around the man’s arm firm but gentle. Nothing able to bruise. Nearly caring .)
The game Gavin talked about was still a thing, yes, and it made his face soften, causing the domino effect on Nines who smiled fondly, seeing the enchanting change in his human. The booth supporting the game held a large text consisting of luminous LED letters, each of them shining with a different color, which simply said Dart Game . It was hard for Nines to hold himself from looking it up in the web, but somehow he managed.
He brushed his gaze over the stall – its wall was covered in small balloons that formed a colorful mosaic, three or more rows of metal tubes used as hangers for rather not big prizes hovering above it.
“It’s simple, you see,” Gavin said, placing the lilac teddy bear on his shoes, careful not to drop it to the dirty ground. The android leaned in closer to him, using the need to hear him better as an excuse. He didn’t though . Gavin continued, “you get a prize of the same color as the balloon you hit. Got it?”
“Sure.”
Nines folded his arms on his chest, watching an adult man trying to aim at a green balloon placed at an uncomfortable angle. It was a difficult task, much more harder than aiming at a tower of jars if you wanted to actually hit a certain color. He could try it.
“You playing?”
The android shuffled a bit awkwardly, turning to look at Gavin. “Huh?”
“I asked if you want to play.”
“You don’t?”
“It’s been a long time since I touched a dart, only would’ve made a fool of myself. By the way this,” he patted the teddy’s plushy head, “is enough for one night. But I don’t see why you shouldn’t play.”
Nines watched as the man left, a little red-haired girl by his side holding a Minion toy. She looked at Gavin and his teddy curiously and smiled, and then surprisingly Gavin smiled back. Shyly but smiled, lips turned upwards and teeth barely bared. Beautifully. Nines could imagine the Software Instability warning that would’ve appear in his vision now if he was still a machine.
“I’ll play.”
The owner of the booth was clearly an android – it was hard to tell beside the fact that she had an LED blinking a steady blue on her temple. Nines knew some androids chose to keep theirs as a proud sign of who they were, just like Connor did; he was the one to explain the concept to his younger brother who only seemed confused about it. He didn’t like his own, didn’t like that it reflected his feelings and thoughts, so he got rid of it as soon as he gained consciousness.
“Any color in particular you want to hit?” She asked when he lifted a dart, leaning over the counter with her elbow and half-observing Nines from under her long eyelashes.
He shrugged. “Yellow. Or red, I guess.”
(Gavin’s favourite color was red. Gavin liked it.)
“Make your mind, prick,” Nines heard his partner say quietly and impatiently from behind him. He smirked and aimed, and smoothly moved his hand so the dart made its way to a red balloon, a neighbour of three yellow ones. The android – no, the woman snapped her fingers.
“You got it perfectly,” she remarked, grabbing a stool. “Which red thing you want?”
Nines sent his gaze over the red section on the hangers, over the teddy bears and material dolls, and balls, and pillows.
“That one.”
And that way, Gavin ended up with a little Elmo teddy stuffed in the pocket of his leather jacket.
“You won it. It’s your prize. You should keep it, why–”
“Because I want to,” the android interrupted him as the made their way to a cotton candy stand. His partner shot him a glare to which he responded with a small smile. “I want you to keep it, is it so hard to understand? It’s a gift.”
“But–”
“No buts. Just shut the fuck up and get your goddamn unhealthy snack.”
Gavin averted his gaze, pretending to be offended, but a short snicker escaped his mouth without his consent. It was a pleasant sound, cuter than Nines would admit.
(The android liked it. Serenity looked good on his partner.)
The lilac teddy bear ended up in Nines’ hands while Gavin’s became busy with a cloud of pink candy-floss of the biggest size. Soon, the colored sugar covered both corners of the man’s lips and his munching lured the android to reach with his fingers and tear a bit of the cotton candy, bringing it to his mouth to analyze.
“What the fuck, man,” Gavin muttered, but didn’t even spare him a glance. He got used to it a long time ago, the teasing never ended though. No malice hid behind his words anymore, to Nines’ secret content.
The sweet turned out as unhealthy as he initially predicted – overloaded with sugar as it was the only used ingredient, made with high temperature, and also very sweet – Nines couldn’t taste it (he wished he could though), yet his sensors caught the flavor quite fast. He knew that Gavin loved sweetness – he could eat donuts all day long if Nines didn’t intervene, which he rarely did. Consuming sweet food made Gavin happy, and the only thing Nines ever wanted was to see his human partner happy. If it didn’t collide with Gavin’s health, obviously.
“Where do you want to go now?”
The question made Nines halt and sharply spin his head to look down at Gavin.
“What?”
“Are your ears bugging or am I too quiet? Shall I fucking shout? Where do you want to go ?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“Do you not find anything here worth attention? Not even a single booth or a roller-coaster? Look around.”
The android had a remark about the attractions’ safety on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill it out just for his own sake, but something in the distance caught his eyes at the exact same moment. A huge, lit and moving circle. A ferris wheel , the web in his head whispered helpfully. It was beautiful and looked so magical – much more magical than the mini-game stalls that surrounded them. It didn’t stand out with safety, unfortunately, but if there was something he wanted to try, that was it.
“The ferris wheel,” he repeated out loud, watching Gavin’s face change into something fond and sincere, and… Nines couldn’t seize it. It seemed too distant and unfamiliar, too messy for his neat programming.
“Then let’s go and make your dreams come true,” the man joked with a slight tilt of his head and a ghost of smile.
The wheel looked even more beautiful from close up when Gavin was busy buying them a few rounds and Nines could just stand, his head lifted and eyes focused on the warm lights that decorated the whole attraction. The movement was sluggish and soothing, and it made the android’s Thirium pump somewhat beat slower.
“You gonna stand here all night or what?” Gavin asked, making his way to an open bench. The only response he got was a low I’m coming before Nines joined him, taking a seat beside him and placing the teddy on their feet.
“If it falls, I will beat the shit out of you,” Gavin threatened with no harm and leaned down to make sure the toy was protected enough; apparently it wasn’t, because he lifted his leg and hooked it around the teddy bear tightly. Nines observed with a sympathetic smile and said nothing, lowering a metal plank that seemed to be used as a kind of protection from downfall. It wasn’t anything near solid – it could easily prevent a child from falling, but it wouldn’t be much of help if a grown man was in danger of it – yet it was better than nothing.
The wheel resumed its calm course, sending their bodies into a lazy movement that would’ve send Nines’ LED a peaceful pulsating blue, similar to the one triggered by stasis, if he still had it. Maybe it wouldn’t have, after all – his right thigh was pressed to Gavin’s warm one, spreading something through his artificial skin. Something unknown, but not new. Something good. Distracting.
(Nines’ objective was not to get distracted, and yet he found himself enjoying the contact like nothing else in his short deviant life.)
“Do you sometimes think about the life you want to live?” Gavin asked when they reached the top and the wheel stopped again, a pair from one of the bottom benches leaving, replaced by another. Nines tore his gaze away from the breathtaking view on the city to look fully at his partner whose face was barely visible in the dim light. He could tell Gavin’s eyes were thoughtful though.
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone wants a different life than they have. Well, almost everyone. You know, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”
“I… I do not want a different life.” It was true, maybe too true for his taste. The wheel jerked to life again. “This is my place. In this precinct, on this position. I very much like what I do for a living and I’m surrounded by people that I’m mostly fond of. I don’t see why I would want to change it.”
Gavin watched him for awhile before answering, a bit unsure. “You’re serious.”
“Of course I am, Gavin. This is my place. Here. By your side.”
It sent a strange jolt through the man who trembled and twitched his hands nervously. It seemed like he couldn’t take his eyes off of the android’s even if he wanted.
“You’re better than this, you know that, right? Fowler assigned you to me, but it’s entirely your choice if you want to stay or move on. Nobody will say anything if you do. You’re not fucking tied to me, Nines. It’s not like… It’s not like I will be mad. Do what you want to do.”
A crease appeared between the android’s eyes, the frown deepening with each word that fell out of Gavin’s mouth. “Do you want me gone?”
“Of course not, Nines,” the man seemed to almost choke on the words, as if he was surprised that his partner would even think of that. “Of course I don’t want you gone. You’re the first person that didn’t dump me. The first partner that didn’t resign after a few months after being partnered with me. I don’t want anything more than to keep doing this, but I don’t want to force you to do the same just because I’m a selfish motherfu–”
“When will you stop thinking like that of yourself? You may be rude and overaggressive, but you’re kind and charming when you want to, and you’re a good man, Gavin. You’re worth so much more than you give yourself credit.”
It left Gavin speechless. Well, maybe not exactly, because he managed to mutter a very, very quiet bullshit before Nines had enough of his shit and simply said, “I like you.”
It was true and painful. It was what triggered the android’s deviancy and what didn’t allow him to not give Gavin all his attention, not that he wanted to stop giving him anything. Nines liked him the most of all people – even more than Connor, actually. He liked him in a way that he couldn’t understand – in a way that maybe wasn’t just liking.
Gavin looked at him with sadness and hope in his grey eyes, shifting a bit, not exactly withdrawing – the pressure of his thigh was still perceptible on the android’s leg, thankfully – but turning and ducking his head slightly.
“Tell me you’re not joking and I’m not hallucinating, because I don’t think I can handle it if we take it a little further and you want to take it all back.”
“I’m serious, Gavin. I like you . I don’t want to leave you unless you tell me to.”
“Oh, hell no.”
And then he laughed. Honest to God laughed. With his mouth open and teeth bared, eyes squinted, but focused on the android, his entire body trembling with the happy, even if a little bitter sound.
Nines thought he’d never seen anything so beautiful.
“I like you, too, tin can. Perhaps too much for my own good.”
“What does that mean?” Nines eyes him, confused, observing the change in his features; happiness shifted into calmness, calmness into melancholy once again. It hurt.
“You trust me, right?”
Nines never trusted anyone as much as he trusted his partner. Maybe, if he tried, he could pretend he didn’t and the connection between them wasn’t real, but he didn’t think his pretending would ever look convincing.
“I do.”
First, a hand on his cheek, gentle and barely-there. It held him steady in one place, yet its force was so small he could easily break the contact if he wanted. He didn’t .
Secondly, a hand on his thigh, not close to his knee, still far from his waist. Warm and heavy, laying there seemingly to assure the android that the human was never going anywhere.
Thirdly, a little ragged, but soft lips on his own, a pressure telling Nines to tilt his head and adjust to a better angle. His eyes fell shut, his nose bumping slightly against another, soon coming back to rub against it tenderly. Gavin’s skin was rough under the android’s fingers, worn-out from years of hard work and strict lifestyle, but it felt perfect. Everything felt perfect in that moment, in that place.
He let his tongue dart inside the man’s mouth, past his teeth to lick at his palate, earning a surprised yelp and a pleased moan mixed into one sound, and suddenly their proximity wasn’t enough.
“I wasn’t made to do this. I’m sorry if I’m not good,” Nines whispered, barely moving away. Their lips brushed together when he spoke.
“You’re good enough,” was the only response he got before Gavin rushed in to meet him in a slow kiss that sent non-existent goosebumps all over the android’s artificial skin. His sensors felt overloaded, and yet it wasn’t enough. He wanted more.
He desired to feel more .
The connection between him and Connor twinkled before a message rolled out from the other end.
[ The suspect’s in there. I shall inform you about his farther moves. Where are you? ]
Nines hesitated, pulling away to glance at Gavin. His partner watched him with an irritated question in his wide eyes and the android noted that their pupils were dilated.
[ We’re on the ferris wheel .]
[ On the ferris wheel? Why? ]
[ Gavin wanted to have fun and told me to choose. ]
He mouthed Connor to Gavin, not wanting to break the precious silence that fell over them while the wheel finished its third round. The man rolled his eyes, but his swollen lips stretched out in a fond smile when he watched him.
[ Ah. OK. Anyway, the suspect’s with a young boy determined to be his oldest son, he’s heading to a roller-coaster in the center. I’ll let you know when he meets with a possible client. Stay tuned. ]
[ Thanks, Connor. ]
Nines dulled the line into the background, far enough to focus entirely on the man in front of him and near enough to hear it open. His fingers grazed Gavin’s hair on the nape of his neck.
“We have some time before the suspect does anything notable,” he said in a flirtatious tone, watching as his partner grinned widely, the hand on his thigh moving just a little higher. It stopped low enough to not dare any biting comments, but the warmth definitely didn’t stop spreading.
“What are you waiting for, then?”