Chapter Text
Fidgeting, that’s what his teachers always called it when Jisung was being scolded; inevitably just before lunch and sometimes just before dismissal.
“Stop disrupting the class with your fidgeting,” they’d say, “you need to learn to sit still.”
It was never on purpose – he never even felt restless when it happened, normally he was just kind of hungry – and it wasn’t foot tapping or pencil flicking. No. Jisung’s ‘fidgets’ were more like shakes that would run through his whole body; flecks of anxiety and rapid heart rate that just caused him to shift in his seat uncontrollably.
Hyperactive.
That’s what his report cards would say; good student, driven, hyperactive.
Nothing changed; teachers continued to scold him and he continued to ‘fidget.’
By chance, a few months before he was set to audition for JYP, Jisung snuck a few pieces of hard candy into class. Nothing special, just some sucking candy he’d swiped off his brother that morning. He popped them stealthily into his mouth one after another when his body began to ‘fidget,’ hoping to distract himself and sit still for once.
It worked – though not for the reasons Jisung believed.
From then on Jisung made an effort to sneak candy in with him daily; taping it into the cuff of his sleeve, making sure the wrapping was quiet. Candy worked best at controlling his ‘fidgets,’ though it didn’t last that long.
His teachers had always claimed that he’d have an easier time sitting still as he got older, but he didn’t.
Or at least becoming a trainee at JYP Entertainment wasn’t enough to help. Jisung discovered that he needed to bring more candy once he started training; especially when he’d spend hours focusing on learning how to dance. But it was doable, a few pieces of fruity hard candy hidden away.
It wasn’t until Stray Kids was made official that it became a problem again.
The nine had successfully survived the elimination show; barely. They’d debuted and now were preparing for their first official comeback; it was wonderful. Stray Kids was different than other groups too since they were primarily in charge of the content they created. That didn’t stop the company from setting some rules though.
The boys understood that. They were representing the company, they didn’t have to always agree with it, but they did understand.
Jisung wasn’t told to diet, he’d always been thin, but he did cut back with the rest of the group in solidarity. The only thing the dietitian told Jisung to do was cut back on candy and sugar.
“It’s horrible for you, even in moderation,” the elderly man had reprimanded, “and you are saying you eat at least 10-20 pieces of candy a day? You’ll end up with health problems if you continue.”
It wasn’t that Jisung didn’t know that, of course, candy wasn’t ‘good’ for you, but he needed it. He knew that sounded stupid, but he’d tried not sneaking a few pieces during rap lessons once and nearly passed out; the instructor forced him to down a sports drink saying he looked clammy. Although Jisung doubted it was just because he didn’t have candy – that would be ridiculous – he was probably getting sick anyway; probably.
The rapper tried to tell the dietitian this, but it was written off as Jisung being over dramatic. Which was fair, he knew he could be heavy-handed.
So the young producer started bringing fruit with him instead of candy; as suggested. Which worked, kind of. It did allow Jisung to concentrate and the effects seemed to last longer than they did when he just binged some candy, but it didn’t work as well. A few grapes when he started to feel ‘restless’ only seemed to lessen the problem not fix it. Although, Jisung assumed it was just his brain playing tricks on him.
Today they’d mainly been running over old choreography, ideas from their YG battle among other things, hoping to find pieces that they could use in their new routines.
Jisung was enjoying himself, a bit too much, once getting into his headstand so forcefully that the members had to prevent him from falling backward.
The group had been practicing for roughly five hours at this point – they were all tired, but dedicated and determined to get through the song at least once more.
Jisung stumbled as the song ended again, bumping into Felix who grabbed onto the older’s arm to steady him.
“Woah there – you alright?” Felix was breathing hard, having been giving the dance everything.
Jisung’s brain seemed a bit slow at catching up, giving a dumbfounded “what?” first followed by a smile of comprehension and, “oh, yeah. I’m good.”
Felix ran his eyes across the other’s face, “You sure man? You’re kinda pale, shaky.”
Jisung blinked, “Oh yeah. Fine, just restless is all. No big.” Only just then noticing the slight tingle around his mouth causing him to lick his lips.
The Aussie was slow to remove his hand from Jisung’s arm, still not trusting the situation, but when Chan called for them to take it from the top one last time he allowed it to slip off of his friend’s bicep.
Jisung vaguely knew something was wrong about halfway into his verse. He didn’t miss beats or lyrics, but he didn’t know what he was saying, as though his tongue’s muscle memory was leading rather than his brain. The foggy confusion continued as he went into the headstand.
Then it wasn’t fog. He landed back on his feet but had no idea of what to do next; or what he was doing at all. His vision blurred and tunneled before anxiety could replace confusion, the fog turned black.
Despite Jisung’s denial, Felix had decided to keep an eye on his near twin – he had a bad feeling. Jisung’s movements had been odd, not as controlled as usual, but really Felix couldn’t see anything else wrong.
Until the elder was back on his feet. Felix noticed immediately and broke from formation completely disregarding Minho’s annoyed yell.
He managed to grab ahold of Jisung’s sweatshirt sleeve just as the rapper’s body crumbled. Felix pulled desperately, feeling threads tear, hoping to prevent Jisung’s head from connecting with the hard practice room floor.
The second slack entered the sleeve, Felix dropped to his knees and repositioned his hands to grasp Jisung’s own, “Sung!”
For another few seconds, the room was in chaos – music blasting over the speakers, members yelling. Then the music was stopped and Felix missed the noise.
“What happened?” Changbin had fallen to his knees on the opposite side, “Yah, Sung!” the other rapper shook Jisung’s shoulder roughly, causing the boy’s head to roll.
“Jisungie?” Chan joined them, kneeling down by the unconscious member’s head, “Sungie?” he patted Jisung’s cheek gently.
“I don’t know what happened.” Felix started, voiced pitched higher than usual, “He was kind of shaky earlier. I’d been watching him, even though he said he was fine.”
“Shaky?” Woojin questioned from behind Chan.
“He’s clammy.”
“Is he going to be alright?” Jeongin questioned.
“He just fell over…”
“Jisungie?”
Ignoring the others, Felix tried to answer Woojin, “Yeah. He lost his footing and I noticed he was shaking.” He looked back down at Jisung, “He said he was just restless.”
“Restless?”
“Should we call someone?”
“Who? No one’s here.”
“Shouldn’t he be awake by now?”
“Quiet!” Chan shouted in English, trying to combat both his panic and theirs. “Bend his knees,” Chan lightly smacked Jisung’s cheek again, “Felix, I said bend his knees – if his blood pressure dropped that might help.”
“Uh, right.” Felix reluctantly released his hold and did as the other instructed, Changbin helping once he realized what was being asked.
Woojin placed a hand on Chan’s upper back, “He needs to go to the hospital…”
The leader nodded, “Help me get him onto my back. The hospital is only a few blocks and I’d rather not wait for an ambulance.” His Korean was choppy in his haste but still understandable.
“Maybe it’s the diet,” Minho muttered as Woojin, Changbin, and Felix helped position the limp boy onto Chan’s back, “The dietitian didn’t put him on one, but Sung was doing it with us.”
“He’s really used to munching on candy and stuff. Maybe it’s sugar.” Seungmin quickly went to the discarded bags in the corner, “I’ve got a juice…I don’t know…maybe…” he pulled the small box of juice from his bag as his voice tapered off.
“How is he supposed to drink that?!”
“Maybe we could just drip some into his mouth?” Minho had grabbed the cardboard container from Seungmin and was already opening it before anyone answered.
“We need to leave now,” Chan was trying to keep his voice level, but the constant vibration coming from the body on his back was unnerving.
“Give it to me Hyung,” Felix, after helping get Jisung onto their leader, had once again taken to holding him by the hand. “I’m going with, I’ll try to drop some in his mouth on the way.”
“No, you’re going back to the dorm with the others.”
“I’m not leaving him like that, Chirs” the younger Aussie challenged in English.
“I’m coming too,” Changbin spoke quietly, “You need people to make sure he doesn’t fall Hyung.”
“Fine.” Chan said in English, then switched back to Korean, “Fine. Woojin, make sure they all get back to the dorms please.”
“Of course.”
Minho had not only opened the juice but had now captured some liquid in the straw by capping his finger onto one end. “Here Jisungie.” While the others were talking he carefully opened the younger’s mouth and dropped the small amount of liquid onto his tongue.
“Minho, stop…Hyung that’s dangerous!” Hyunjin’s words wavered over the Australians’ English.
“Minho!’
“No, I think it worked or helped.” The dancer rushed as he handed the container to Felix, “His mouth moved. Like he was trying to drink or something.”
“I still don’t think it is a good idea…”
“It doesn’t matter. We’re going,” tightening his arms around Jisung’s thigh and leaning a bit more forward Chan started for the door.
Felix’s right hand still clutching Jisung’s limp left and holding the juice box in the other and Changbin’s pale face and frightened eyes following close behind. As they approached the door, Changbin sprinted ahead and held it open.
The weighted door to the practice room swung shut after them, leaving the remaining five members shell-shocked.
“He just fell,” Jeongin mumbled.
“I hope he’ll be alright…”
“Of course he will be Seungminie…” Minho tried.
“What if…” The words died on Hyunjin’s tongue.
“What if it’s serious?” Jeongin picked up momentarily, mind already spiraling, “What if he can’t…what if he…”
“Stop.” Woojin grabbed the youngest by his shoulders, “He’s fine, or will be.”
“But…”
“This happened before,” Seungmin muttered, “before, during a dance class. He’s mentioned it.”
The group fell silent for a moment, unsure of what came next or how they were supposed to proceed.
“Let’s,” Woojin sighed, “Let’s just head back to the dorm…”
~~~
The quartet was quiet. The hum of the elevator offering the only sound.
Chan could feel Jisung’s heartbeat against his back and it did not comfort the Australian at all. He’d known Jisung for years; years. There had been plenty of times when the younger had ended up in this position, though always of his own volition. Even when Jisung had been dead asleep against Chan’s back in the past the younger’s heart rate had never felt so unusual. Normally, it was barely noticeable beating in a rhythm one would expect. Now, it fluctuated. Rapid strong beats followed by moments where Chan couldn’t feel anything as the pounding became fluttery and frantic.
“Can one of you,” Chan’s voice cracked, “grab ahold of his wrist and keep tabs on his pulse?”
Felix blinked owlishly at Chan, he’d released his hold to drip a few more drops of liquid into Jisung’s mouth, his hand missing its target and a drop of juice falling to the floor.
“I already did Hyung,” Changbin spoke timidly from the leader’s right, “It’s off...but going…” He grabbed the younger’s wrist as soon as the elevator door had closed, somewhat desperate to feel proof that Jisung was fine.
“What do you mean ‘off,’ Hyung?”
Chan took a deep breath and moved his gaze to the counter, watching it slowly tick lower. “Keep your hand on him Changbinnie. We’re going to take the back alley, I’m hoping there are fewer people. Felix, keep an eye on the road – especially the cross streets – we’re probably going to be crossing against traffic.”
Once the doors to the elevator opened, Chan quickly set their pace, careful to neither dislodge Jisung or Changbin’s hold on the younger.
Thankfully, the back streets weren’t crowded on a Tuesday morning at 12:08, save for a few drunk businessmen eating outside a vendor’s booth and a couple cars.
Chan was thankful that Changbin and Felix had come with him because at the moment his brain was barely functioning. If Felix hadn’t literally stopped him from stepping into the street both he and Jisung would likely be dead. And Changbin. Sure they joked, ‘baby Changbin,’ ‘Changbinnie the baby,’ but he’d remained calm. Not just calm, but comforting. Every Time they’d stop Changbin would update them on Jisung.
He’d also speak to the unconscious boy; utterances of reassurance and affection. Chan would have to thank the younger when all this was over. Those words may have been for Jisung, but they meant the world to Chan.
When they entered the near-empty emergency room was the moment that Chan realized how thankful he was that Changbin had come. Both he and Felix were good at Korean, but neither would have been as quick and efficient as Changbin was.
Changbin had decided to go with the others for selfish reasons. Jisung was his friend, his brother, and he needed to know that the younger was alive. It sounded dramatic, even to himself, but the idea of going back home and waiting, with the last memory of the younger rapper being of his collapsed form, was unthinkable.
Changbin realized, shortly after entering the hospital, that medical jargon was probably not Chan’s or Felix’s area of Korean study. So, taking a calming breath and still feeling Jisung’s unusual heartbeat beneath his sweaty fingers, Changbin took charge.
As the nurse approached Changbin started; he explained everything. That they’d been practicing, that Jisung had collapsed, their theories about diet and sugar, that they’d dropped some juice into his mouth, the unconscious rapper’s responses – and lack thereof – and his odd heart rate.
While the rapid-fire one-sided conversation was taking place, Chan reluctantly allowed the younger boy to be taken from him. Leaving a sweaty damp shirt and a chill where he’d been.
The limp boy was carefully lowered onto a stretcher by another nurse and Felix. The woman, a young girl probably only a few years older than Chan, made quick work of evaluating Jisung and once Changbin mentioned the boy’s heart rate, she shifted her focus there.
Felix watched her, frowning slightly, as she motioned another technician over and they wheeled off the stretcher.
The receptionist said a few words to Changbin and then they were left alone.
“Hyung…let’s go sit down.” Hands accompanied Changbin’s soft words, and Chan’s legs shook as he was guided to the hard plastic chairs.
“It’s not your fault.”
Chan shook his head gently. It wasn’t, but it was. Jisung was old enough to take care of himself, and he did. But Chan knew the quarks of all his friends; he knew Jeongin doubted himself and struggled to open up at times; he knew that Seungmin still worried he didn’t stand out, that he fell flat; he knew that Felix, often, wondered whether he ‘should’ have been brought back; he knew that Hyunjin wanted to prove that he had more than a pretty face; he knew that Changbin often fought with himself – fought between the light and dark the cute and strong – wondering if people felt he was acting; he knew that Minho worried about his place, beyond the previous elimination; and he knew that Woojin still struggled to feel like he did enough to be the main vocal and that he was always pushing – putting in more effort than was necessary.
So Chan knew Jisung pushed too hard, that he saw others first, that his heart was too big.
“We should call the others,” Felix’s voice broke through the leader’s thoughts.
“Yeah…I didn’t grab my phone.”
“I’ve got mine,” Changbin said sitting next to Felix.
“Can I use it? I’ll call the guys and our manager.”
“Sure Hyung.”
Chan nodded his thanks and, taking the phone from the other’s open hand, walked the short distance back to the entrance to make the call.
“Is he going to be alright?”
Felix turned slowly towards Changbin. The older looked as bad as he felt, but worse somehow. Felix ‘knew’ Jisung would be fine – of course he would be. Yes, he passed out…but he was being taken care of now. He had to be alright – Felix had faith in that. However, it looked as though Changbin’s fears were winning out.
“Hyung.”
“You weren’t there when this happened during dance lessons years ago…It’s the second time. Don’t you think,” he swallowed, “what if something is seriously wrong?”
“I don’t think…”
But Changbin cut him off again, “Sorry. I shouldn’t,” he sighed and bent his head forward into his hands, “I’m just sick of being a bad hyung…”
“You aren’t a ‘bad hyung.’”
“I’m with Jisung all the time,”
“So am I,”
“I should have –“
“I didn’t,”
“You did. Felix-ah, you noticed.” The words came out more forceful than he’d intended, “You saw something was wrong and did something. I didn’t even see him…I looked towards Minho-hyung… I just saw his face fall…” Changbin lifted his head to look towards the door, “Minho-hyung’s face was so annoyed when he called out your name, it was comical…and then-“
“Sungie will be fine.”
“How-“
“Sungie will be fine and you are a good hyung,” Felix ran his hand down the elder’s back, “I’ve told you before.”
“Hey, you guys alright?”
“Yeah, we’re fine,”
Chan nodded and handed the phone back to Changbin as he sat back down, “The other’s were just getting into a taxi when I got through.”
Changbin’s eyes were still fixed on the doors, but Felix noticed the red tint that clung to Chan’s own.
“Our manager is already making some calls. He’s going to try to get everything sorted.”
~~~
“Excuse me.”
The new voice startled the three idols who had fallen into a somewhat comfortable silence as they waited.
“You brought in Han Jisung, correct?”
“Yes,”
“Is he awake?”
The tall man smiled kindly, “Yes, he woke up shortly after we brought him into the back.”
The release of tension was palatable.
“We believe your assumptions regarding blood sugar were correct, but we are going to keep him overnight in order to take a few more blood samples to be certain. And to make sure he has fully stabilized.”
“But he is alright?” Changbin asked again, cautiously.
“Yes.” The man smile again reassuringly, “He was a bit confused when he woke up, which is understandable, and while we are fairly certain his hypoglycemia or low blood sugar,” the man added noticing the slight confusion on the Australian duo, “is a product of his fast metabolism, we’d like to run a few more test to be certain.”
Both Chan and Changbin stood up then, and Changbin allowed himself to ask one last question, “What else could be wrong? If it isn’t his metabolism…”
“To be frank, a number of things can cause a drop in blood sugar. However, based on what he has told us, the state he was when you brought him in, and the examination we have already done – it is likely nothing more than his metabolism.” He restated, trying to defuse the concern. “The doctor just wants to be certain before discharging him.”
“Can we see him then?”
“Yes, I’ll let you find your own way. Room 324; on the third floor.” As he spoke, the man gave a pointed look down behind the two rappers and then flashed his eyes back to meet theirs, “Feel free to ask the receptionist on that floor for assistance if you have trouble.”
Chan glanced back at the seats as the man retreated, “Oh, ‘lix. Mate.”
“Sorry,” Felix laughed softly causing the remaining liquid to accompany the existing streams already on his speckled cheeks. “Just relieved.”
They waited, allowing the younger to regroup, before heading in search on their missing teammate.
Jisung’s room had been easy to find, despite the fact they’d got the number mixed up.
“How about a piece of paper and pen then? That's not exercising or strenuous.” His voice reached the edge of the hallway near the elevator.
“He won’t be hard to find after all.”
The room was small and far too white for Jisung’s liking, the only reason he was even pestering the nurse was because of his own anxieties. Waking up in a hospital room with an IV, oxygen blasting, and surrounded by masked strangers was enough to stress anyone out, and Jisung’s last memory before that was fumbling into Felix. To say he’d been a bit freaked was an understatement.
So Jisung had mostly just sat, or laid, and listened as they explained.
Although still a bit confused, and definitely still anxious, Jisung was mostly just glad he no longer felt off. He hadn’t lied when Felix asked after him, he had believed he felt fine. However, compared to how he felt now – even with the headache – he’d actually been feeling super ill at that moment. The fact that Jisung was only able to recognize that in retrospect was mildly terrifying as well.
And so, still fighting his numbed fear, Jisung was begging the nurse for something; anything. Something he could do to take his mind off of being alone inside of a stale hospital room with a needle jammed into his arm and the promise of more needles over the next eight-ten hours as they continued to test his blood sugar.
“Glad to see you’re already back to your old self Sungie.”
‘Hyung!” Jisung disregarded the slight pain and tisk from the nurse as he shifted the IV needle unintentionally. “You guys are still here.”
Changbin frowned, “Where would we have gone, Sung?”
“You look so much better.” Felix had already closed the distance and grabbed onto Jisung’s right hand. “You kind of freaked me out Ji.”
“Sorry…” Jisung muttered at the same time as the nurse placed his left arm back onto the bed.
“I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” She turned towards the others, “It’s very late for visitors. One of you can stay, but I’m afraid the other two will either have to wait at home or in the waiting area until visiting hours start at seven-thirty. However, I’m not going to rush you out,” she smiled, walking by them, “You can probably squeeze a half hour if you’d like.”
“Thank you,” Chan responded. “How are you feeling Sung? You certainly look better.”
Jisung gave his trademark grin, “much better Hyung. Did I miss anything?” There was mild hesitation in the question, Jisung didn’t think they would have continued practice, but still needed to make sure.
Changbin scowled, deeper this time, “You missed us worrying about you.”
“Right…”
“Why did you say you were fine? You should have told me something was wrong when I asked.” Felix started to rant.
“I didn’t notice…” the other September boy grinned sheepishly.
There was a moment of awkward silence and Jisung was tempted to fill it but thought better of it.
“Okay. So we’ll all need to pay better attention then,” Chan said closing the distance between him and the younger kids, “did you notice anything beforehand? Anything that we should look out for?”
‘Uh, I mean…I don’t know.”
Before the younger could continue Changbin, who was still standing near the middle of the room, spoke up, “Chan-hyung, it’s almost 2 a.m. The others are probably worried. Why don’t you and ‘lix head back and get some sleep? I’ll stay with Sung tonight.”
The two older members shared a look, a silent conversation before Chan nodded.
“Yeah, alright. That is probably a good idea. Felix?”
“No one has to stay…”
“Call us if anything changes.” Chan ruffled Jisung’s hair, “I’m guessing we’ll all be here early if you’re not discharged by then.”
“Guys.”
“If it looks like he’ll be discharged before then I’ll call,” Changbin took Chan’s seat, near the foot of the bed, as the elder stood.
“Get some sleep Ji,” Felix gave Jisung a hug – lingering a moment longer than normal - then trotted off behind Chan.
“What. Was. That?” the bedridden forced out, pouting slightly after the Aussie’s had left.
The older member sighed and gently pushed Jisung to the side of the bed, snuggling up against him. It was a tight fit, with both boys laying on the small hospital bed, but the close proximity comforted Changbin more than annoyed him.
“Aww. Was baby Changbinnie worried about Hannie squirrel?”
“It’s not funny Jisung,” the elder reprimanded.
Jisung stilled, suddenly uncomfortable and unsure of what to say. He understood the whole thing must have been frightening, but it hadn’t been serious – or he interpreted it that way. The younger boy started to run his free hand over the IV cord, almost picking at it in his unease.
“Hey. Stop that Sung.” Changbin carefully removed the hand before it could cause damage, not releasing it. He hesitated for a moment before starting his questioning, “’lix said you felt ‘restless,’” he glanced sideways, “though he thought it was more like ‘shaky…’”
Jisung interrupted him, “Yeah. I mean I get restless or whatever.”
Changbin glared, though not unkindly, “is that when you eat candy? Or snack? When you feel restless.”
“Yeah. It distracts me.”
“Sung, I don’t think it ‘distracts’ you.” When the younger didn’t respond, Changbin continued. He knew they should sleep, that Jisung is likely exhausted, but he needed to know why it took the younger collapsing for anyone to notice something was wrong. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I told you I didn’t think anything was wrong.” He sounds both defensive and apologetic, “I get jittery sometimes, you know fidgety. I never thought I’d pass out because of it.”
“When you say ‘jittery,’ you mean ‘shaky?’” Changbin felt his chest tighten – was it so common that the younger thought it unimportant? “How often?”
Jisung turned, facing the blank television which hung on the wall, “Yeah I guess…shaky I mean, but I’ve always been told it was fidgety. And I guess it happens a few times a day normally.” He continued, unaware of the pained looked his friend held, “I mean, before JYP it was normally just before lunch. I’d get restless and stuff. You know, I suppose it happens more often now. But…” Jisung noticed the other boy’s grasp on his hand had tightened slightly and turned to look at him, “Binnie-hyung?”
“Why haven’t you went to the doctor? Since when high school?”
“Elementary…”
“Elementary? Something…You could have…Sung, this is serious.”
“I mean,” he shifted uncomfortably again, “I know that now.”
“What if you’d been practicing alone?”
“I wasn’t,”
“But you have in the past Sung.” Suddenly the idea of Jisung collapsing in an empty practice room passed through Changbin’s mind, as did the nearly inevitable outcome that it would have had – who’d have found the younger’s body? Would it have been some nameless employee? Or would it have been one of the members, after losing a round of rock-paper-scissors and having to go retrieve the missing rapper only to find him dead? What if it had been Jeongin or Seungmin?
“Whatever you’re thinking about, stop.” Jisung tugged at his hand, but Changbin wouldn’t let go, “Hey, Changbinnie-hyung. I’m alright.”
Changbin closed his eyes against the destructive images that his mind continued to supply. “I’m sorry I never noticed. No, let me speak,” he chided when the younger started to interrupt. “It should have been obvious, if not on other occasions, certainly during practice tonight. We all should have noticed Sungie, and I’m sorry.” The elder squeezed Jisung’s hand, “I need to be a better hyung…events keep opening my eyes to that.”
“You aren’t a bad hyung. I didn’t know anything was wrong. Ever.” Jisung tried to emphasize with his hands, but one was trapped by Changbin and the other pulled painfully at the IV causing him to hiss.
“Be careful,” Changbin tried to shift to check on cords, but Jisung used their clasped hands to prevent it. “We should treat you more like a maknae and less like a hyung,” the elder muttered as he relaxed back.
“What? No. It doesn’t matter,” he carefully lowered the IV hand back down, “What happened isn’t anyone’s fault, but mine. Even if I didn’t know there was a larger problem, I know that when I start to get that way eating helps and I should have just spoken up.”
Changbin sighed, that’s what he’d been referring to, Jisung took on responsibility like a hyung… “That’s not how it works…”
Changbin allowed the topic to drop then and unsurprisingly felt the younger grow increasingly slack against him.
“Hyung?” Jisung’s voice already sounded thick with sleep, “what about Gyu?”
Changbin smiled, “I’ve got you tonight. Just sleep.”
Jisung mumbled something, but Changbin wasn’t able to catch it.
The older rapper couldn’t find sleep as easily. Instead took to watching the other sleep peacefully. Changbin took comfort in that and in the pulse, he could feel through their clasped hands, no longer inconsistent and fluttery but strong and normal.
“You should sleep some too,” a soft voice eventually broke the silence, startling Changbin. He smiled and watched as the nurse moved Jisung’s IV bag around and draw some blood from the sleeping boy. “I know the whole event likely scared you and your friends a great deal,” she spoke softly as she labeled the samples, “But you got him here and he will be fine. He just needs to be careful.”
“Yeah…”
“Really, get some sleep. Jisung-shii will likely be released in only a few hours.” She smiled reassuringly and left.
“Alright…” Changbin felt himself whisper. He then repositioned himself so that Jisung fit better against his side and tried to sleep