Work Text:
When Shen Wei says "Don't joke about your health" for the first time, Zhao doesn't realize just how serious the quiet professor is. To his defense, that happens long before the idea that Professor Shen and Dixing boogeyman in black might be one and the same appears to him. So Zhao Yunlan thinks the sentiment cute (if somewhat misplaced) and laughs it off. He has other things to worry about, after all, such as the said professor being a creepy dangerous creature from who knows where. Riiight.
Naturally, Guo Chang Cheng is the first one to bend under Shen Wei’s subtle pressure. Scared and trembling, the little wimp masters enough courage to stop by Zhao's office and inquires “Did the Almighty Chief have lunch” or something similar. He even has the guts to try and share his so very healthy salad. Zhao is about to have a good laugh at kid's expense when he notices Chu's Glare of Doom directed at him through the blinds and dismisses Guo hastily. The weird part is that the kid doesn't give up and continues with "Sir, I am going for lunch now, would you like anything?"
Well, maybe it is not that weird: sweet Guo pesters others too.
Next, Zhu Hong starts making snide comments about virtues of healthy diet, sobriety, and even preaches the importance of a beauty sleep. Like she is the one to talk. Zhu Hong doesn't try to feed him, though, which Zhao appreciates, but she comments frequently on his "ashy" complexion and “ugly” bloodshot eyes. Zhu Hong's remarks sting, no wonder she bites like a snake, since she is a snake. On the brighter side, maybe she is finally falling out of love with him, which would be very good. (At this point of time Zhao is a little worried how his gentle professor will handle Zhu Hong's disappointment otherwise. Oh irony.)
Still, Zhu Hong and Guo Chang Cheng are pretty easy to ignore, even with both ghosts and Old Li joining in with signs and heartfelt lamentations of fast food dangers. So Zhao does ignore them and makes eyes at Shen Wei who has the audacity to nod along. Professor Shen blushes prettily; he suddenly remembers that he has classes soon and literally runs. Serves him right.
***
Things go downhill, though, as soon as everybody finds out the true identity of Shen Wei.
When Zhao tells Lin Jing to order pizza for everybody, their resident IT/Science genius blanches. He literally goes white. Has that ever happened before? Lin Jing apologizes profusely and offers to get a take-out from ‘a really healthy place nearby with traditional homemade food’. He easily confesses to having gotten the address from ‘Black Professor Shen’, but this is as far as he is ready to bulge. When Zhao tries to bully Lin Jing with a bonus loss, he just says miserably “Dead people need no money” and that’s it.
Chu’s turn around shouldn’t have come as a big surprise, but it still does, somehow.
“Beer, wow!” exclaims Zhao happily upon finding Chu Shu Zhi in the office with an impressive supply of the said beer. This night just got slightly better, thinks Zhao, and makes a move to grab a can, but his hand is slapped away.
“No”, says Chu flatly.
“No?” Zhao is confused. Despite being a cold badass Chu always shares his beer with everybody in the office.
“No. You drink too much,” Chu presents Zhao with his widest (and scariest) smile.
“Says who?” demands Zhao.
“You know who.”
“If you take Mom’s side don’t be surprised when there is no bonus for you!” as a retort it is not up to Zhao’s usual standards. However, it will have to do: he just had a scary thought and needs to run home to check something.
Sure enough, his exquisite and extensive collection of booze is no longer booze. The bottles are still there, but liquid in them is no more alcoholic. When did that happen? Did Shen Wei drop by as Black Envoy between his university classes and did a nasty little magic trick?
Zhao Yunlan means to talk to Shen Wei about his (overcontrolling, slightly creepy) behavior, but one thing leads to another and that night he doesn’t get the chance.
***
“Master Zhao! Master Zhao! You have to save me!!”
Da Qing? thinks Zhao sleepily, and decides to ignore the cat. It doesn’t sound like Fatty is in any kind of immediate danger and he can very well wait until Yun Lan had his beauty sleep (damn you, Zhu Hong).
When Zhao Yunlan wakes up at last completely and climbs out of the bed, he finds Da Qing in his human form miserably finishing a bowl of porridge under Shen Wei’s approving eyes. There is another bowl, waiting for Zhao.
“It was disgusting!” wails Da Qing later, when they are on the way to the SID office. Shen Wei is (presumably) at the University, a safe distance away, (hopefully) doing whatever normal professors should do. “I am the King of Cats!! Cats do not eat porridge!!”
“Why are you telling this to me again?” asks Zhao.
“Are you mad?! How could I say ‘No, I won’t eat your porridge” to Black Cloak Envoy's face?!”
“Well, I like it,” Zhao smiles, surprising himself. He actually does like it, doesn’t he? Not only the porridge, but all of it.
“You would. Because you are crazy, it is a well-known fact,” Da Qing mutters angrily. “I am never staying for breakfast again. You can have all of that disgusting porridge for yourself, if you are so stupid.”