Chapter Text
I don’t remember how I got here- in fact, I don’t remember anything. All I know is that I felt terrified, though I don’t know why, and then suddenly I just… woke up. I don’t know where I am, I don’t even know who I am for that matter. This couldn’t be normal, right? My head was pounding and I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest at any given second, but I didn’t understand why it was I was so scared and why it felt like I was about to fall apart. It’s a terrible feeling, but it wasn’t going away.
/There’s no use in just lying around/, I thought, so I pushed up off the ground and looked around in desperate hope to find some source of familiarity. It was dark out, and kind of chilly too. The moon looked pretty low, it was going to be morning, so maybe it’ll help if I can look around in the light? For some reason, I was laying in the middle of the sidewalk right next to a deli-grocery and intersection. A couple cars drove past, and they were so /loud/, so loud that it hurt my ears and I had to cover them. I could hear everything so clearly- the chirping of the crickets, the cooing of the pigeons, and even a few alarm clocks nearby- and the engines of the cars were an unpleasant disruption. Not knowing where to go, I decide to just start walking. Who knows, that might help jog my memory.
As I’m walking, I try to search my memories for anything, even if it’s just a store sign or a face. I have to have a family, right? Are they looking for me? How old am I anyways? People have moms and dads, so that means I should have that too and they could possibly help me. Okay, that’s a start. A plan. Plans are good, especially when you’re starting to freak out because you’re lost and confused and don’t know who you are-
“Hey, watch where you’re going!”
I crashed into a woman walking her dog, a yellow lab, and stumbled back. “Sorry! Oh god, I-I’m so sorry,” I apologize. Great work, me. “I-I didn’t see you there, sorry,” She sighed, brushing off her clothes, “Hey, it’s okay, kid. Just be careful, alright?” Kid? Alright, I must be on the younger side then, but clearly not too young since I’m not too much shorter than her. She and her dog began to walk off in the opposite direction. “Wait,” I called, turning around and catching up to her. “I, um, kinda need your help, if that’s okay?” She looked at me confused. “Uh, sure? What is it?” “I’m lost and not really sure where to go,” I began to explain. “I can’t remember anything either, so I don’t know who to go to for help.” The woman grew a look of pity, lips pursed together as she hummed in thought. “Shit, I’m sorry to hear that, kid. All I can think of is heading down to the police station and seeing what they can do for you.”
She gave me directions to the nearby police station and informed me that I was in Queens, New York. Whether that’s supposed to mean anything to me or not, I don’t know. Though, I guess it is nice to know where I am when I don’t know anything else at all. The sun had begun to come up about ten minutes after we departed, giving the sky a warm orange-like hue. Something about it was off putting.. That fear from when I woke up creeping its way back in. It felt familiar, but different in the same way. Damn, amnesia was weird. That’s what was going on right now, right? Amnesia? It’s funny how I can remember what that was but not even my own name.
Right when I thought I had gotten turned around, the building came into view. When I got inside, I was hit with a wave of sights and sounds and smells. It was too bright, and the ringing of the phones were far too loud. There was an intense smell of Lysol and other sterile products that burned my sinuses. There wasn’t anyone else in the front room except the receptionist who looked like she was not ready to be awake and walked up to her. “Um, excuse me?” I piped up. She turned from the computer screen to me, putting on what I can only assume to be a work smile. “Yes? How may I help you?” The woman spoke with a southern accent. Her phone rang, but as she was about to pick it up, someone else did down the hall. I could hear the conversation, a prank call. Was this level of a hearing range normal? It was irritating and made it hard to focus. “I, uh, think I lost my memory,” I explained. “I don’t remember anything and I wasn’t sure where to go to.” Just like the dog walker, she too gave me a pitied look. “I’m sorry to hear that, sugar. Here, why don’t you go and sit over there and I’ll see if your folks have called lookin’ for you. Do you remember your name at least?” I shook my head /no/. “Poor dear,” She muttered.
I walked over to the seats by the window and sat down. There were a few magazines and newspapers, but not really anything else. I picked one up, Entertainment Weekly, and flipped through the pages. I wasn’t really reading it though, I couldn’t concentrate with everything around and the uneasiness that came with the yellow-orange light that filled the room. Everything about it told me to get out, to run. To run and not look back. It felt like my throat was closing up and I began to hyperventilate. Suddenly, I wasn’t in the police station anymore. I don’t know where I was, but it didn’t look like anywhere around here. I was laying down, a man clutching me in his arms and I was trying to hold on to him. I couldn’t make out his face, but he was trying to help me. I was scared, I couldn’t feel my legs or the tips of my fingers. It felt like I was disappearing and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. “I-I don’t want to go,” I whimpered. I was on the verge of tears when suddenly I was back in the police station, shaking like an earthquake with bugged eyes.
The magazine had been forgotten. What the hell was that? What was that place, who was that guy? What… what was happening? I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, trying to calm down but I couldn’t. I tried closing my eyes, but I was back there. Then, a car outside screeched to a stop and a rather posh looking man jumped out of the vehicle and hurried inside. Despite the rather expensive suit and sunglasses, he looked a bit disheveled. He looked as distressed as I felt, actually. The man hurried up to the receptionist, seemingly shocked to see him, and opened his mouth to speak before looking my way.
He stopped in his tracks and I could see him getting teary eyed behind the sunglasses. “Peter,” he gasped. Peter? There wasn’t anyone else around, so was that me? Who was he and how did he know me and where to find me? Before I knew it, I was pulled into a tight embrace from the other. It felt… No, it felt like how I was being held on that place. No.. No I didn’t want to go.. Not again, not again! I felt my legs give out beneath , all my weight now in the hands of the other man as he noticed me panicking and helped me to sit back down in my chair. I gripped and pulled at my own hair, unable to breathe. “Hey, hey,” He spoke in a soothing voice. “It’s okay, Pete. Just breathe. You’re okay, I’m here now. I won’t ever let you get hurt again, okay? Just breathe…” Eventually, I was able to calm down a bit and looked up at him. He gave me a weak smile, and I was desperate to try and remember him. He looked so happy to see me, why couldn’t I remember. “Are, are you okay, kid?” He asked. “I-I’m sorry,” I looked down at my lap, still trembling a bit. “I can’t… I can’t remember anything…”