Work Text:
"Hello! This is Max's Creativity! Are you Peter?"
"Sorry, wrong number, this is Thomas's Anxiety."
"Oh! Sorry I bothered you Anxiety. Have a nice day!"
"No problem, Creativity. Stay safe."
"Hey Jealousy, I think we should knock Pride off her pedestal."
"This is Deceit."
"But I'm Deceit."
"Hey Dad? I think I'm lost."
"I think you called the wrong dad, kiddo! This is Morality. Who are you?"
"Uh, I'm Imagination. My dad says not to talk to strangers."
"Your dad is a very good dad then, Imagination!"
"Anxiety, I think you left your jacket out in the snow."
"Sorry, wrong Anxiety. I live in Florida, we don't get snow. I also never take off my jacket."
“Hey Logan, Thomas’s Sleep Figment -you know, the one from the shorts- showed up and he definitely does not like me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. But I’m not the Logan you’re looking for. My name is Morgan. Hope you can learn to deal with this Sleep Figment uh…”
“Virgil. Anxiety.”
“Oh. I can see why he doesn’t like you.”
“No one likes me.”
“I beg to differ.”
“You sound like Morality.”
“Makes sense. I am Morality.”
"Hey David, what kinds of books does Logic like?"
"I believe you have called the wrong number, as I am Logic. I personally like mysteries, however."
"Payton Creativity Daniels! You come home right now! Hayden is worried sick about you!"
"I'm Creativity Sanders, not Creativity Daniels. Sorry for the mix-up, I'm sure your Creativity is very magnificent too!"
"Hey Virgil, when was the last time Deceit left the house?"
"Excuse me? I am Deceit and I am outside of the house."
"Oh, sorry! I thought this was Anxiety's number! Sorry about that, Deceit!"
"Yeah, whatever."
"Heya kiddo! I was wondering when you and Roman were going to be home. Deceit and I made cake!"
"Morality?"
"Oh, hello Imagination! Did you make it home okay?"
"Yeah, Dad found me. My dad's Ethics."
"That's a very good trait for a father!"
"Logan, I think you should come home before Roman burns the house down. He won't listen to me and since he's not listening to Anxiety, he might listen to Logic."
"I think you called the wrong Logan, as I represent Anxiety myself."
"Maybe if two Anxietys tell him to not burn the house down he'll listen to us."
"I don't know what this Roman represents but I seriously doubt it."
"Yeah I think if you have a Creativity, he probably acts the same way."
"Yeah Creativity doesn't listen to me either. Good luck with him, Anxiety. Call the right Logan next time."
"I will. Stay safe."
"That's our job."
"Deceit give me dirt on Virgil."
"This is Greed. Who is this?"
"Creativity."
"Well Creativity, I think you keep your nose out of Virgil's business before he punches you in the face."
"I seriously doubt Anxiety would punch someone who carries a sword with him everywhere he goes."
"Roman Creativity Sanders! You come home this instant! Patton is worried sick and I'm considering going after you!"
"Creativity Daniels speaking, I think you have the wrong number. I'm sure Creativity Sanders is just as cool as I am, though."
"Hey Sleep does Anxiety bother you? I'm just curious because none of us can find you and she's not telling us where you are."
"I am Anxiety but I bother the Sleep Figment in my Manifester. So I'm going to say yes."
"Roman, did you steal Virgil's Nightmare Before Christmas posters?"
"I stole Roman's Nightmare Before Christmas posters. But I'm not Virgil, I'm Franklin."
"Well you should give Roman his posters back, Franklin. Stealing is wrong."
"Hey Freddy, does Dad like chocolate?"
"Imagination!"
"Oh, sorry I bothered you Morality!"
"It's alright! I'm sure Ethics will love whatever you get him!"
"Thank you, Morality."
"Deceit please move Monty! He's blocking the door to my room! I don't want to step over him!"
"Excuse me? I will not be moved from my spot! I'm also not Deceit, thank you very much. I'm the exact opposite!"
"Who are you and what are you doing?"
"I'm Honesty, and I'm blocking the door to Learning's room until he decides to apologize."
"Hey Virgil, I need you to get Cecil off the roof, he's not listening to me. And you know that when Creativity's not listening to Anxiety, he needs to listen to Logic."
"Hi Logan. I find it funny that we have two people who share the same name in our groups. What are the odds?"
"Oh so that's your name. Nice to meet you Virgil. Did Roman burn the house down?"
"No but he burned Deceit's cape. Deceit put Monty in front of his door in revenge. Monty's Deceit's pet python. Roman hates snakes."
"I wish Cecil hated snakes, it would make it easier to deal with him."
"Well, whatever you do, send me a picture if he breaks his arm falling off the roof."
"Deal."
"Bye Logan."
"Bye Virgil. Take care."
"That's our job."
(Virgil was later sent a picture with the caption: Cecil not only broke his arm, he broke his leg too)
"Hey Learning, Heart wants to know if you apologized to Honesty yet."
"This is Logic, I no longer call myself Learning. You have the wrong number."
"Ah. Sorry Logic. Goodbye!"
"Hey Eddy, I think Dad needs more from us."
"Imagination, your dad doesn't need anymore from you than you already give him!"
"Oh hi Morality. I really need to set you as a contact so I stop calling you accidentally."
"Well, don't you need to know my name first, kiddo?"
"Uh..."
"I'm Patton!"
"Hey Anxiety."
"What?"
"I stole your Twenty One Pilots merch."
"I don't own any Twenty One Pilots merch."
"Shoot! Wrong Anxiety."
"Virgil, Thomas says you really need to tone it down."
"Who is this?"
"You know me, it’s Joan. Virgil your voice sounds funny. Are you sick? Can Sides get sick?"
"Sorry, you have the wrong number, Joan. This is Harriet's Generosity. And yes, we can get sick. It’s uncommon though."
"Hey who is this?"
"...This is Logan? Who is this?"
"Hi, I'm Roman. I was looking at Virgil's phone to change his contact names because he left his phone unlocked and I wanted to know who Logan-Anxiety was."
"That's me. You're Virgil's Creativity, right?"
"I'm Thomas's Creativity, technically, but yes."
"What was it like with a giant snake in front of your door?"
"How'd you know about that!?"
"The same way I know you almost burned your house down."