Chapter Text
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for his Highness, Prince Eijirou Kirishima of Luxuria.” the royal herald called from beyond the grand door.
‘Okay Ei, you just have to sit through this and then you are free to go and sleep. Just 100 women to go…’ the prince thought to himself as floated elegantly through the doorway, down the steps and into the throne at the front of the room.
Even after living his whole life in the spotlight, Eijirou still had trouble dealing with all the staring, so he did what his father taught him and just smiled. He made sure to make as much eye contact as possible and even gave a few small waves. When he got to the throne, he sat rigidly in the chair, back straight and eyes scanning the crowd as a line formed.
Tonight he turned 18 and was therefore required by law to start looking for a woman to be his bride. This meant having other all the other 18-year-old’s of the female persuasion be paraded to him as if he were just choosing another outfit.
For right now though, he had a good 10 minutes before the meetings started. But, he was not allowed to leave the chair. Even if he did, there were about 50 girls staring at him from the dance-floor, watching him like hungry jungle cats who have found some meek animal.
With leaving the room for a minute no longer being an option, Eijirou was stuck with just trying to think through exactly what this meeting line up will entail.
The ritual for this has been happening for the past 10 generations of Kirishima’s, and it has not gotten any less misogynistic, or heteronormative.
First, all the eligible ladies line up in front of the throne. Then, one by one they all come up and say hello and thank you to the prince. Then, if Eijirou likes the way they look/sound, he will ask them to dance and apparently that, by some extension, means that she will be his bride. Then, if he doesn’t accept any of the ladies, it’s rinse and repeat.
Like Eijirou said, it’s misogynistic and shallow. This year has a difference though, each girl gets to say 1 of their interests so that Eijirou finds someone he can relate to.
This backfires soon after the meetings start though. Every single girl says they like they like the king, the royal family, him, and manly things. The prince will never forget when a scrawny little 16 year old that looked like a strong breeze could take her down said she like karate, the only problem was that she pronounced it carrot-tea.
After maybe 60 of these meetings, Eijirou was beyond bored. So, breaking tradition, he got up, removed his crown and robe, and left the room without a word. Once he got out of there, he ran. He knew that the lords would be sending guards to retrieve him to listen to more ass-kissing just to find a pleasant little creature to sit next to him when he ruled, but he didn’t want that. The prince wanted someone to talk to, tell him when he messed up, and not some brown-noser.
As he ran, he went down some steps and through some halls he used to go through when he was five. He couldn’t remember what was down here, but he remembered liking the peacefulness.
Well, it was peaceful until Eijirou’s clumsiness made an appearance which led to a giant pile of pans to come clattering to the ground. He let out an ‘ eep ’ quickly went down to pick them up.
“I swear to fucking god, Kaminari,” an angry voice called from somewhere in the kitchen, “if I have to kick you out of the kitchen one more damn time I am going to put you on as the next me…” the voice trailed off as he took in Eijirou. “Who the hell are you? You realize that the parties upstairs, Shitty Hair?”
Eijirou laughed at the name. He looked up and saw that it was probably the most beautiful man he had ever seen. The man, or maybe teen, had ash blonde hair and piercing red eyes. He also had a lot of muscles.
Cue gay panic.
Finally remembering that he could/ needed to speak, the prince stood up and soon realized that this kitchen boy was actually a little taller than him. “Oh, sorry. I’m not Kaminari, he’s probably looking for me. Though, that might be obvious now that I think about it.” The man looked at him and gave him a hand motion that seemed to say, ‘ get on with it’ . Eijirou blinked, then realized he has yet to introduce himself, “For what it’s worth, my name isn’t Shitty Hair, it’s Eijirou.”
The man in front of him looked like he just got smacked across the face. “ Shit . Sorry your highness, I didn’t know it was you.”
Laughing once again, Eijirou sat on the smooth counter and looked at the now very shell-shocked boy. “Wait, what’s his name anyway?” he thought.
“Well, kitchen boy, you can repay me for your mistake with telling me your name and letting me hide down here away from the kiss-butts.”
The blond looked at the red-head and nodded, “My names Bakugou, Katsuki Bakugou. You can stay here as long as you don’t make a mess, I don’t want my old hag yellin’ at me again.”
“Okay, Katsuki, Thanks.”
Bakugou let out a “tchh” sound and resumed his position cleaning the left over pans. While the blonde did that, Eijirou went and picked up the last of the fallen pans, then went over to the sink next to the boy.
The angry teen finished washing a pan, and before he had time to get the towel, Eijirou snatched the plate and dried it.
“Your Highness, pardon my choice in words, but what the fuck are you doing?” Bakugou asked as he looked at the prince, his hands still extended to grab something that was no longer there.
“I’m helping you clean of course!” said Eijirou in a cheerful manner.
Bakugou just shrugged, “Why are you even here? Other than the kissbutts.”
Letting out a small breathy laugh Eijirou responded, “Well, this is supposed to be a big Find the Prince a Bride party. There are a few problems with that, 1. I don’t like the brown-nosing 2. The whole thing is misogynistic, like i have to choose a bride based on their looks and basically all things shallow 3. A coiled rope is straighter than me.”
“That sucks. Does the king know?”
“I suspect he has an idea, but you know..” The prince said as he fiddled with the towel.
A nod was the response he got from the man beside him. “You know, Shitty Hair, if you ever want to just escape the whole crazy realm of the main area you can just come down here. Or not.” He added quickly. “Just saying, do whatever the hell you want.”
“Thanks Blasty, I might take you up on that offer.”
“The fuck did you just call me?”
“Nothing!”