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They were 38 weeks into the pregnancy, and Kaneki was on the verge of tearing his hair out.
“This really shouldn’t be that difficult,” he whimpered.
Touka didn’t even bother replying; she was lying facedown on the metre-long printout of names Yoriko had compiled for them, snoring loudly as her saliva smudged the ink.
Hide snorted, hip-checking Kaneki as he gently tugged Touka up to lean against him. The woman might be a ghoul, but Hide knew from experience that the neck crick from that position just wasn’t worth it.
He ran a hand over Touka’s mussed hair. It was getting long enough to pull back into a decent ponytail, and she had started wearing her fringe out of her eyes these past few weeks.
“Help me get her to bed, will you?”
Kaneki didn’t even stagger when lifting Touka and her 38-week belly. Hide still remembered Kaneki staggering when lifting a book bag just a handful of years ago, and hid a smile. He brushed his fingers against Touka’s wrist as Kaneki passed him by, biting back a curse. Despite eating twice as much as usual, Yoriko's well-meaning food parcels, and suffering his tasteless cooking on top of that, she’d still managed to lose weight.
They’d seen Kimi at the Centre just last week, and she’d said that Touka and the baby were alright and not to worry, but these days it felt like that was all they could do.
“Don’t worry about it,” he told Kaneki, giving him a light shove when the man hesitated after tucking Touka into bed. She hadn’t once stirred. “Hang tight with your baby mama a bit, get some rest together. I know who to ask.”
Kaneki frowned. “Hide, you’re not going to-?”
“I’m not going to name your kid?” He snorted, shaking his head. “Nah, I won’t- and it’s not because I won’t love them. It’s just- I think someone else has given this way more thought than I have. And- well, who knows? Maybe I’ll name the next one. Or it’s not like we couldn’t adopt a whole clowder of ghoul orphans, there are always plenty of those around.”
He frowned briefly. There were plans in the works, offshoots from the community Goat had started, and he was scheduled to meet with the city committee on this matter next week with Hinami and Mutsuki. It wasn’t just ghoul children they had to consider, there were those from the Sunlit Garden too, some sort of fostering or adoption system put in place-
Hide blinked, startled out of his thoughts by the kiss on his forehead. The Kaneki smiling softly at him was like something out of a dream, and Hide kind of wanted to pinch himself to make sure that it wasn't. Pale cheeks pinking in the moonlight, Kaneki leant forward to kiss him again, this time on the mouth. The implied intimacy in the action was thrilling to him. It wasn’t just Kaneki who was recalibrating the years behind the boundaries of their relationship, Hide was too. In fact, the only person who seemed to be taking this all in stride was Touka.
“Where are you going?” Kaneki asked.
“To Helter Skelter,” he replied easily enough. “I’m going to look for Yomo-san.”
Kaneki’s eyes widened in understanding, and Hide had to kiss him for that. When he pulled back, Kaneki’s blush had deepened, a shy smile curling around the edges of his mouth.
“Come back soon, though,” he insisted. “Don’t you have that meeting tomorrow-”
Hide groaned and covered his eyes. “Don’t remind me. Why did I let Marude-san talk me into this again?”
Kaneki smiled like he was hiding a secret, but he was speaking again before Hide could ask. “Go on, then. The sooner you go, the sooner you’re back. We’ll be here waiting for you.”
Hide’s eyes dropped to Touka, having taken over the bed in her usual careless sprawl, her face lax.
“Yeah,” he said dumbly, “yeah, I’ll just- yeah.”
As expected, Yomo was firmly ensconced in Helter Skelter at this time of night. What was surprising was that the man was behind the bar instead of in front of it, fiddling with Itori’s shiny chrome mixers.
“Yo,” Hide called in greeting. “Where’s Itori-san?”
“She got called away for business,” Yomo replied. “Can I get you anything?”
Hide grinned. “Can I drink anything here?”
Yomo looked like he was seriously considering his question, but Uta announced his presence by snorting, brushing aside a beaded curtain. He was holding a martini glass full of blood, with what looked like a finger for a stirrer. Hide thought that was a little gauche, but to each his own, he supposed.
“This is Itori’s stock we’re talking about.”
“Uta-san,” Hide nodded in greeting.
“Itori has human informants sometimes,” Yomo protested mildly, continuing to rummage through a side fridge.
“You’re looking at one of them,” Hide agreed.
Yomo emerged with an orange and 2 limes. “And we have vodka.”
“Sold!” Hide cheered, thumping the bar and nearly toppling Uta’s martini, which he’d only just set down. “Sorry,” he said, when Uta sent a glare his way.
“Yomo made me this martini,” Uta hissed at him.
“I did apologise,” Hide said.
“Uta,” Yomo said mildly. The man sniffed and put his nose in the air. “I can make you another one.” Uta just huffed and rested his chin on his arms, nose bare centimetres from the glass stem, clearly sulking.
“Is that okay?” Hide asked, boosting himself into a barstool in front of Yomo.
“He’ll get over it,” Yomo shrugged before sliding a cheerfully coloured drink over, topped with a bright blue umbrella. “Well?”
Hide took a sip; it was brain-numbingly cold and horrendously sweet, just the way he liked it. “Well what?”
“You came here for something, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, well.” Hide hummed, taking another sip. “This is really good.”
“Of course it is; Yomo made it,” Uta growled.
Hide raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were sulking?”
Uta hissed at him, and pointedly turned his back.
Yomo rolled his eyes.
“Okay, so, you know how Kaneki and Touka are driving themselves spare thinking about a name for the babby?”
Yomo huffed a soft laugh. “I think the whole world knows, and they all have an opinion about it too.”
Hide grinned. “I just put them to bed and told Kaneki I’d ask you.”
Yomo blinked once, eyes marginally wider than usual. “Me?” he asked.
“Yes, you.”
“…why?”
Hide took another obnoxious slurp of his brightly-coloured drink. “You’re Touka’s uncle,” he said. “You were there from the start. I’m not blind, you know, even if the others don’t talk about it. I know how hard you’ve worked to protect Touka and Ayato.”
Yomo shook his head. “I still don’t understand why. That’s in the past; what’s done is done. Tomorrow belongs to you, to the new generation.”
That sparked a thought in his brain, but Hide pushed it aside for now, focusing on the man in front of him. “That generation wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you,” he said. “I told you, I’m not blind. If you hadn’t been holding back that one over there,” he added, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at Uta, “then I’m quite certain things would have turned out very differently.”
Uta narrowed his eyes at him. “I will eat you,” he threatened.
“Uta,” Yomo sighed.
“No, you won’t,” Hide replied.
A loud crack signalled Uta activating his kagune, as if the way his eyes bled to black weren’t telling enough.
“How can you be so sure?” he demanded.
“Because of Yomo-san,” Hide replied. “Uta-san won’t do anything that would make him turn his back on you.”
“Like you’re so important to him,” Uta sneered.
Hide shrugged. “Maybe not personally, but I am to Touka and Kaneki, and Uta-san knows better than most just how much of why Yomo-san fought was for them, and Touka’s babby. You’re not going to do anything that could upset either him, or them. You gave Yomo-san power over you when you admitted that he was so much more a part of you than you were of him.”
Uta’s hands were flat on the bar now, trembling with anger.
“All Yomo-san has to do is withdraw from your little game, and say that you don’t matter to him anymore,” Hide finished, hands open on either side of him.
With a vicious shriek Uta leapt over the bar and disappeared out back, knocking over his martini glass in the process.
Yomo sighed, pulling out a cloth to wipe up the spilt blood before it could seep into the wood grain. Hide gingerly picked up the finger and stuck it back in the now-empty glass, and handed it back to Yomo.
“Sorry about that,” he muttered.
“You didn’t have to say any of that,” Yomo said tiredly. “You didn’t need to make Uta into your enemy.”
“Contrary to popular belief, I don’t hate Uta-san,” Hide said. “Actually, I think it’s kinda good for him that someone else has his measure.”
“His measure?” Yomo repeated blankly.
“You 2 nearly killed each other when yall first met,” he explained. “Neither of yall could kill each other without killing yourselves, too. That- that impasse triggered something inside of Uta-san, up here," Hide added, tapping at his temple, "and he can say whatever the hell he wants to about Clown and chaos and all of that bullshit, but when push comes to shove, he’ll always choose you.
“Not in the sense that he’ll keep you out of harm’s way, because Yomo-san wouldn’t be deserving of his respect and trust if you were taken out so easily, but if it came down to the wire, he’d save your life just so he could end it himself. His measure,” he concluded with a shrug.
Judging by his troubled expression, Yomo had no idea what to make of any of that.
“That’s his prerogative, not yours,” Hide added. “All Yomo-san has to do is keep calm and carry on.”
That, out of everything, was what caused Yomo’s expression to lighten. “I’m almost certain that’s not the case,” he murmured, shaking his head. “Besides, I don’t see how any of this is going to help you decide the name of Touka’s babby.”
“I’m not going to be deciding anything; Yomo-san is,” Hide retorted with a grin.
Yomo shook his head again. “And like what I said, tomorrow’s decisions should belong to tomorrow’s children.”
The thought from before returned with a vengeance, and Hide couldn’t control the merry laugh that bubbled up his throat.
“Don’t worry about it, Yomo-san,” he said with another messy slurp of his drink. “You’re doing just fine.”
Hide really had meant to go straight home. He was even headed in the right direction. It wasn’t his fault someone on the swings caught his attention on the way there.
“Takizawa-san?” he said with some surprise. “I thought I recognised you skulking about. Shouldn’t you be driving Amon-san spare, now that Mado-san’s reopened her parents’ mansion for yall to live in?”
Takizawa hunkered down even lower on his swing. “Mado’s on a rampage,” he said glumly. “Higemaru broke a family heirloom or some shit being an arsehat to Hsiao, so Amon-san’s been relegated to peacekeeping duties while the rest of us got the hell outta dodge.”
Hide remembered Mado on a rampage, and firmly agreed with the wisdom of that decision. Still…
“…isn’t that a little unfair to Amon-san?”
Takizawa exhaled in long, drawn out hiss. “He’s fine, Maris Stella actually likes him, so Mado won’t maim him too badly. Anyway, it’s not like he can’t recover from a little dismemberment.”
Hide recalled Touka’s offhand comment about breaking and throat-slitting right before they’d had sex, and filed that association with Mado and Amon away under things he never wanted to think about ever again.
“Besides,” Takizawa continued, “even if she kills him, I’m told it’s a fairly respectable way to go. He’ll just be the latest in the long line to have ‘Killed by Mado’ inscribed on his tombstone. They’ve filled up whole swaths in the cemetery like that.”
“Wow, this shit got morbid real quick,” Hide snickered. “Where are you headed, then? The Chateau?”
Takizawa immediately shook his head. “No way, Higemaru’s hiding out there, which means the she-wolf is headed there next after she’s torn her way through Amon. You know, I really used to look up to that guy? Like, I actually bought into his tough-guy schtick.”
Hide smiled. “I know, Takizawa-san, I was there, remember?”
“Yeah, well, it’s weird as fuck now to see him quivering in front of Mado, holding out Maris Stella like some sort of shield, as if she couldn’t just cut him off at the knees.”
Hide huffed a soft laugh. “If it’s not the Chateau, then the TSC?” he asked, standing.
Takizawa sighed, bony shoulders sagging as he followed suit. “Yeah, I was thinking I might go and hide in Juuzou’s office. Even if Mado does make her way there, I can throw Hanbee at her, or maybe Juuzou could take one for the team and throw himself at her.”
Hide hummed thoughtfully. “Let me know if that happens, okay?”
“Why?” Takizawa demanded.
Hide raised his eyebrows.
“Come on, like the entire office wouldn’t start betting on who was gonna win that one.”
“Eh, you’re right,” Takizawa muttered. “I can’t believe you still have time to play bookie. Hasn’t Marude drowned you in enough paperwork yet? He’s certainly trying to do that to everyone who seems like their head is even halfway screwed on.”
“Oh my god, is that why you’ve been pulling the crazy card every time he comes around?” Hide demanded.
Takizawa smirked. “Don’t fix what ain’t broke.”
“You sick fuck,” Hide breathed. “Goddamnit, is it too late to have a psychotic break now?”
“Considering how Rabbit’s on the verge of popping, I’d say you’re about 9 months too late.”
“You’re such a mouthy little fucker now, Takizawa-san,” he whined. “Did that bastard Kanou replace your funny bone, too?”
Would wonders never cease. That they’d come far enough to be able to joke about this was a miracle all on its own.
“Ha ha,” Takizawa said drily. “Anyway, why the fuck are you wandering around instead of doing your homework like a good little boy?”
“I wanted to go talk to Yomo-san about babby names,” Hide admitted.
“Is there a betting pool for that too?”
Hide thought about it. Kaneki would just be embarrassed, but there was a 50-50 chance Touka would find it hilarious. The other 50, however, ended with him having his spleen ripped out of his chest, and he regenerated a little slower than Amon.
“I mean, everyone already has an opinion about it, right?”
“Yeah, it’s the first- I don’t know, what the fuck even is Kaneki now anyway?”
“I’m pretty sure the only who knows that answer is Kimi-san, and even she’s only certain about 60% of the time,” Hide sighed. “You know what? Yeah, let’s do a betting pool.”
Takizawa began to cackle. “Toes?” he giggled to himself. “Or knuckles, mmmm, knuckles are delicious.”
Hide’s eyebrows were starting to climb towards his hairline. “You lost me there, man.”
“I can’t eat popcorn anymore,” Takizawa said mournfully, “but I’m still going to want a snack once word breaks about the betting pool. So I was thinking-”
“Toes and knuckles,” Hide repeated blankly, “right. And this is my cue to-”
“Chickenshit,” Takizawa muttered, “get nibbled on by a ghoul once and-”
“Christ, Takizawa-san, we’re already at the TSC, go and bully Hanbee-san or somehing.”
Takizawa sniffed. “I’m only going because I want to, not because I’m listening to you.”
Hide rolled his eyes, but waited until the other man was out of earshot before speaking again.
“Fucking overdramatic shit.”
“I’m almost certain this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.”
Hide spun around, a smile growing beneath his scarf. “Shinohara-san!” he exclaimed. “It’s so good to see you back on your feet!” He peered around the older man. “Where’s Juuzou-kun?”
Shinohara clapped a hand over his mouth, shushing him as he dragged him behind a pillar. He was remarkably strong for a dude who’d just woken up from like a 4 year coma. Still, Hide tugged pointedly at the hand clapped over his scarf, allowing the wince to surface. It didn’t truly hurt, per se, but it was hardly comfortable either.
Shinohara blanched, quickly removing his hand.
“Sorry,” he muttered, “but I didn’t want to chance it. I only just managed to get away-”
“Shinohara-san? Shinohara-saaaaan! Where are you~”
Hide pointedly raised his eyebrows.
Shinohara did look a little guilty, but he seemed more tired than anything else.
“I get that he means well, but he visits more than my own children,” he hissed. “That boy had a life outside of mine once, and I need to breathe.”
Hide snorted. “Yeah, okay, come on, let’s take the back way.”
He glanced around the pillar to make sure that Juuzou wasn’t looking in their direction before tugging Shinohara backwards, depressing a panel in the wall to reveal a hidden corridor.
“I didn’t know this was here,” Shinohara remarked, looking around him.
Hide kept their pace slow, keeping in mind the way the older man was hobbling. He didn’t think there’d been any amputation in Shinohara’s case, but it was a little hard to keep up with the rate people around him kept losing limbs.
“Marude-san and I liked this building because it had so many alternate routes,” he explained as he led them up a flight of stairs. “Obviously, we added more.”
“Huh,” Shinohara grunted, leaning heavily on the rail. “Was that Takizawa with you earlier?”
“Yeah, he’s hiding out from Mado-san,” he said. “Apparently Higemaru did something stupid again so they’re all paying for it.”
“Even Amon?”
Hide shrugged. “I dunno, Takizawa-san only said that they’d left Amon-san to deal with things.”
Shinohara sighed. “Those 2 should just get over themselves and- well.” He made a crude hand sign Hide was certain he wouldn’t have known before his coma. Juuzou was to blame, Hide expected.
“You mean they haven’t?” he asked. “Haven’t they been living together since Mado-san left Goat’s care?”
“Juuzou says that Amon’s too chickenshit to do anything, and that Mado still hasn’t forgiven him,” Shinohara said.
“I’m not surprised about the first bit,” Hide said slowly, “but I don’t know how I feel about the second bit. Actually, I’m pretty sure Mado-san forgave Amon-san ages ago. It’s not like he asked to be kidnapped after a violently traumatic amputation and turned into a half-ghoul.”
Shinohara snorted, eying him curiously. “You’d know best, I suppose,” he said. “Anyway, should you really be skiving? I’m almost certain I heard Marude cursing your name earlier.”
Hide rolled his eyes. “The meeting’s tomorrow. To-mo-rrow. I’ve even submitted all my paperwork ahead of schedule for once; what the hell else does he want for me?”
“I think it had something to do with state legislature regarding some hospital procedure or other.”
Hide cursed. “If any of Kanou’s research resurfaces again, I’m going to raze that compound to the ground and piss on the ashes.”
Shinohara patted him on the back. “I think the sooner you find Marude, the better. Just- tell me how to get out of here?”
Hide smiled. “The least I can do is walk you back to your room.”
“Don’t put this off for my sake,” Shinohara complained, but the air around his brow had lightened.
“Oh no, this is the tried and true avoidance technique when dealing with bureaucracy,” Hide chirped. “Ah, here we are.”
He pushed open another panel for them to reveal the stale beige corridors of the medical department. Shinohara was peering around him at the door they’d emerged from.
“An electrical riser?”
Hide shrugged. “Whatever works. Come on, let’s get you back in bed, Shinohara-san. You’ve had enough adventures for the day.”
“I was in a coma, not brain damaged,” Shinohara grumbled.
“You were both,” came Juuzou’s supremely unimpressed voice from behind them.
“Ah, shit. Every man for themselves, Shinohara-san, sorry!” Hide called as he sped off in the opposite direction, rounding the corner only to run right into Hsiao- and Saiko. “Oops!”
The nice thing about running into Quinxes was- well, they were strong enough not to let you fall, but that was about it, since all that strength meant that they were just solid walls of muscle except for Saiko, who was short enough that most people would run over her anyway.
“Hide-chan, you should be more careful when running around corners,” Saiko scolded.
“You’re not telling me to stop?” he asked.
“No? Should we be?” Saiko looked at Hsiao. “We run around corners all the time.”
“I run around corners,” Hsiao corrected with a fond look her way. “You bludgeon through them because you’re too lazy to go the long way.”
“It’s the straightest thing about me,” Saiko said with a perfect poker face.
Hide couldn’t help the unexpected bark of laughter that emerged.
“Also, Hide-chan, Maru-san was looking for you,” Saiko added.
“When isn’t he,” Hide muttered, “but thanks, Saiko. By the way, we’ve started a betting pool.”
“On what?” Hsiao asked suspiciously.
“On what Kaneki and Touka are going to name the baby.”
“They haven’t decided yet?” Saiko exclaimed. “Do they know the sex yet?”
“Kimi-san offered to check but Touka declined, said it didn’t matter,” Hide said. “So- place your bets, ladies. And tell Shinohara-san too; I was gonna say something earlier, but Juuzou-kun interrupted.”
Hsiao’s expression turned sour. “Yeah,” she groused, “he does that.” Saiko went bright pink.
“O-kay,” Hide said. “I’m just- you know what? I’m just going to go.
“Hold the lift, will you?” He called out, hurrying towards the lift lobby when he saw the doors closing. “Oh, hey, Takeomi-kun, how’s it going?”
“Nagachika-kun.”
He pulled a face. “Do you really have to call me that? Like, come on man, you’re married to Touka’s best friend.”
Takeomi blinked. “It’s not like we know each other that well.”
He nudged the other man in the ribs. “We’ve got nothing but time, now. Oh, by the way, I wanted to let you in on the betting pool.”
“Betting pool?” Takeomi repeated blankly.
“Yeah, I know Yoriko-san gave Touka like, a million suggestions, so I’m starting a betting pool on what she and Kaneki will eventually pick.”
Takeomi grimaced. “Is that wise?”
Hide bleated out a laugh. “How was it for yall?”
“We couldn’t decide,” Takeomi sighed, “by which I mean I couldn’t decide.”
“If I remember correctly, the kid didn’t even have a name until after he was born, right?”
“After the 4th day, Yoriko told me if I couldn’t decide I wouldn’t have to, and she would be glad to raise Arata on her own as a widow.”
Hide raised his eyebrows, trying to match up what he knew of Yoriko to this anecdote. “Wow, that’s- you sure she didn’t say divorcee?”
Takeomi shook his head. “No, our Yoriko was very clear on the noun she used. She refused to fill in the father’s name on Arata’s birth certificate, too.”
“And you decided, I’m guessing.”
“That very moment, yes. By the way, Marude-san was looking for you.”
“Oh my god, you’re like, the 5th person to tell me this. I have a phone!” Hide exclaimed.
“Marude-san was complaining about you not picking up,” Takeomi supplied helpfully.
“That’s not-.” He frowned, digging both hands into his trousers, his jacket, and coming up empty on both. “Oh, I must’ve forgotten to take it this morning. Well, I’m almost there already.”
The elevator bell chimed.
“And here you are,” Takeomi said, holding the door open for him.
“Thanks, man,” he said, patting him on the shoulder. “Don’t forget to mail me yours and Yoriko-san’s bets!”
And then Hide was finally at the Head Office. He reached for the glass door, only to pull it open for Aura’s wheelchair. She nodded to him in thanks before saying, “Marude’s been looking for you.”
Hide rolled his eyes. “As everyone along the grapevine seems to be telling me. He does know that there are other more efficient ways of reaching me if it was really that urgent, right?”
Aura laughed lightly, the shadow between her brows having vanished sometime after she’d talked the Laboratory Division and Chigyou in particular to customise her wheelchair. Hide was almost certain those were Zebizu’s hilts built into the armrests.
“You really are as interesting as Sanny says,” she said with a casual wave, and piloted her near-soundless machine towards the lift lobby.
With a heavy sigh, Hide pushed into Marude’s office. “Look, I’m here,” he began, only to stop short.
“Dad?” he asked weakly. “But- aren’t you on assignment to-”
“Nagasaki, yes,” Homura Takuya said, opening his arms, “but if you honestly think we could hear about the clusterfuck that went down in Tokyo and not come-”
Hide just let himself fall into his dad’s arms, willing himself not to tremble. “But- the quarantine. And I just sent you additional information about 3 more persons of interest.”
Takuya sighed, but didn’t let him go just yet. Hide didn’t mind it at all. “Yes, which is why I’m the only one here, while Nobuyuki is leading our squad. And the quarantine is only meant to keep people in Tokyo from leaving. There’s no rule about people entering, although the guards at the border certainly called me crazy for doing so. Of course you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who would- what rubbish are you giggling about this time?”
Hide snuggled deeper into his dad’s embrace, not looking up.” Entering,” he managed through his giggles, “hard-pressed.”
Takuya only sighed, deeper and more long-suffering than before. “Marude-san, I apologise for my son.”
“Awww, come on, Dad, I’m a national treasure,” he joked.
Marude was casually leaning against his desk, all but sitting on the edge. He was going to stab himself on the butt with his nameplate again, and Aura was going to laugh in his face.
“You think you’re kidding, but I think the worst part is how that’s actually a fact.”
“Ha ha, Marude-san. Did you just want to surprise me with Dad? Shinohara-san said something about some hospital regulation or whatever, but I also wanted to let you in on the betting pool on the name of Kaneki and Touka’s kid.”
“They haven’t decided yet?” Takuya asked, concerned.
“Yeah, with Touka at 38 weeks already, it’s crunch time. Kimi-san said she’s liable to pop at any time now. Anyway, you and Daddy want in too?”
Marude was frowning at him. “You sure this isn’t some demented way of getting more options and then just choosing the one you like the best?”
Hide froze. “That…that is an excellent suggestion, Marude-san, and I’m a little insulted that you thought of that before I did.”
Marude, long used to his antics, only looked tickled, the fucker. “But anyway, I wanted to ask you about stuff.”
Hide sighed, spreading his arms. Takuya stepped back, giving him more room.“Ask away.”
“The hospitals,” Marude began, “already have an option in place for organ donation in the event of death-”
“Wait,” he interrupted, “are you actually thinking of using the hospitals as ghoul food banks?”
“Not quite so gauche, but it did occur to me that there would be a steady, vaguely ethical food supply available of there.”
“Wow,” Hide said, “wow. I know I have questionable ethics and excessive moral ambiguity, and even I find that- wow.”
Marude sighed, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “So what do you suggest?”
“I mean, I think you’re onto something, with the organ donation thing,” Hide said slowly. “But usually that’s understood as donating body parts for transplants, or scientific research. Not- towards a buffet.”
Both Marude and Takuya winced at his phrasing.
“Then again, you’re right in the sense that there will always be a shortage of suitable organs and an excess of incompatible ones, which results in a lot of waste once those organs have gone past their viable date. If we can ensure that these parts go to the United Front, along with all the odds and bobs that get amputated, and the surgery dregs- I mean, as far as I know, most ghouls aren’t really choosy. It’s all slop to them in the- wait.
“What about morticians?”
Marude frowned. “What about morticians?”
“You see, the biggest thing that bugged me about requisitioning hospital corpses as ghoul chow was sentiment. Most of the time, people want something to bury or burn, and a lot of funerals are held open casket. But those bodies get embalmed, right? Which means their organs are removed and their blood is all drained, but where are those bits going? In fact, if ghouls ran a morgue business, they could make a killing.”
Takuya coughed. “That may have been poor word choice there, son.”
Hide sniffed. “I prefer the term ‘inspired’. But you see where I’m going with this, right? Zero waste, even!”
Marude was already nodding along, eyes bright. “We’ll need to consult with the hospital administration and the morticians’ union-”
“There’s a morticians’ union?” he blurted out.
Marude snorted. “There’s a union for everything.”
“Where’s the TSC one, then?” Hide asked semi-seriously. “Or the ghouls’?”
Marude openly rolled his eyes at him. “We also got another politely worded demand about demolition crews.”
“Tell them to fuck off,” Hide said immediately. “The ground is too unstable for equipment; the only teams I’m sending out there are going to be comprised of ghouls.”
Takuya was frowning. “That can’t be what the civilians want to hear.”
"I won’t risk lives to unearth corpses,” he retorted. “Most adult ghouls have unparalleled control over their kagune, and they’re far more agile and hardy than a regular human, which means that they not only know how to comb through rubble safely, but also how to react if a building comes crashing down on them. Look, Wards 4 through 16, 20, and 24 are already clear with 1 major incident between all of them, and that was only because the building that came down missed the racist arsehole. If the building had done its job like it was supposed to there wouldn’t even have been that 1 incident.”
Marude sighed. “Let me work out how to phrase that a little less bluntly.”
“Why bother?” Hide asked. “I mean, it’s a Christmas miracle that most of Parliament is dead, the whole of Tokyo is still under a state of emergency, which leaves us as the highest power. If people want their public utilities back, they’ll let my teams in. The faster we start clearing the rubble, the faster we can start rebuilding.”
“Young people,” Marude said, shaking his head, but there was a wry smile curving about his lips.
Takuya set a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “It’s a brave new world out there.”
Hide rolled his eyes at them both. “Since I’m already here, what else do you have for me? And maybe- Dad, could you go around the place and start taking names for my betting pool? Kick arse if you have to; you have my full support.”
Takuya only laughed. “You know, Nobuyuki and I were a little worried about you, but I think Tokyo deserves my worry instead.”
“What?” Hide sputtered. “Why?”
Marude smirked. “How does it feel to be the father of the most powerful man in Tokyo?”
“Wait- what? What the hell are you talking about? Kaneki is-”
Marude snorted in his face. “Please, like that kid would even sneeze without your say-so. Besides, at the moment he’s too preoccupied with his sprog, and you can’t have missed that- yes, with most of Parliament dead, we not only approve our own legislature in-house, we execute it, too. Tokyo made international news for the appearance of Dragon and Nishino’s revolutionary work in RC cell research, but you’re turning into quite the household name yourself, in terms of policies for ghoul integration.”
What the fuck?
“What the fuck?” he squawked. “When the hell were you going to tell me about this?”
Marude shrugged. “We were just going to wait until you figured it out yourself, but then for someone so astute, you can be remarkably blind at times. It had its moments- Aura just about pissed herself laughing when she saw how you handled that UN representative last week-”
“That guy was from the UN??”
“Where did you think he was from?”
“I don’t know, some backward-ass third-world country or- I don’t know,” Hide moaned, pulling at his hair. “Why the hell do yall trust me with something of this magnitude? Doesn’t it scare you? Fuck knows it scares me.”
Marude and Takuya exchanged a glance.
“It’s because it scares you that we trust you,” Marude said nonsensically. “Your ideas for human-ghoul integration are ingenious- to ghouls, even, let alone humans. What’s happened in Tokyo, with Kanou’s experimentation on humans and ghouls alike, what the Washuu have done and condoned with their breeding programme- this is all unprecedented anywhere else in the world. There’s never been such a great number of half-ghouls out in the open, and- who even know what the Quinxes are anymore?”
“I still want to guy whoever approved that programme,” Hide muttered darkly.
“Whoever they are, they’re probably already dead,” Marude said casually. “And besides, the programme itself has been gutted, and Nishino will see to it that they get the best reintegration care possible.”
Hide huffed, shoving his bangs back from his face.
“I guess the nice thing about being judge, jury, and executioner is that there’s no one to object on the usage of funds.” He caught Marude’s eye. “I know, paper trail and accountability, you fun sucker, which is why I sent in my expense reports-”
“We need to go thorugh those before the meeting tomorrow,” Marude interrupted bluntly.
Hide told Marude to do something rude and anatomically impossible.
“Don’t make me wash your mouth out with soap,” Takuya said mildly.
“Ugh, with where my mouth’s been even bleach won’t cut it,” Hide said carelessly, and then froze.
Marude had hid his face in his hands, but Hide just knew that his shoulders were shaking with laughter, the fucker. Takuya, on the other hand, looked like he was regretting ever setting foot in Tokyo.
“There are some things a parent never wants to know about their child’s sex life,” he said gently. “In fact, a parent never wants to know anything their child having sex at all. Actually, all of you are spotless innocent virgins.”
Marude threw his head back and howled.
Hide slumped into the nearest armchair and groaned. He was going to be here awhile.
Dawn was breaking by the time Hide managed to stumble back to :re, wanting nothing more than to fall back into bed with Kaneki and Touka. He could already imagine them, soft and sleep-warm and smelling like the fresh cotton of their sheets and their ever-present coffee grounds, and he could nuzzle Kaneki’s hair and stroke Touka’s smooth skin. Hide wanted so badly it was turning into a visceral ache.
He unlocked the back entrance and was immediately blitzed by a white-haired fury.
“Where the hell were you?”
Hide would’ve pulled the switchblade Juuzou had given him if he hadn’t recognised Kaneki’s smell, or that the arms around him, despite their crushing strength, were holding him with damning care.
“You said you were only going to see Yomo-san, but when I called the bar he said you’d left ages ago, but Uta-san hadn’t come back yet either, and no one else knew where you were! Mado-san and Amon-san weren’t picking up and Marude-san’s office wasn’t taking any calls-!”
Hide dimly recalled Marude telling his secretary to blackout their office sometime after their 2nd hour of discussion.
“Kaneki. Oi, Kaneki, slow down for a minute, will you? I’m perfectly fine, okay? I- yeah, maybe I had a bit of a disagreement with Uta-san, but I haven’t seen him since Helter Skelter either.”
“Then where were you?” Kaneki demanded, practically shaking him.
“Ka-ne-ki. Calm down and listen to me, alright? I ran into Takizawa-san and ended up walking him to TSC, and then Marude-san tricked me into getting some work done-”
He could tell when Kaneki finally took his word for it and accepted that he was fine; all the fight drained out of him, and Hide was left stumbling backwards as Kaneki hung limp in his arms. He quickly guided them to- well, the stairs would do, and they’d be going up there eventually anyway. He managed to land on the second stair just as Kaneki’s legs gave out, and he grunted under the additional weight.
With a sigh he rearranged Kaneki until the man was comfortably sprawled between his thighs, arms around his waist and forehead pressed to his sternum.
“You said you’d only be gone awhile, but you didn’t come back, and no one knew where you were,” Kaneki said in a painfully small voice. “Your phone was on the bedside table, and people kept calling for you, because they didn’t know where you were either.”
“Ah, shit,” Hide muttered, petting Kaneki’s hair when it was clear the other man wasn’t going to be getting up until he got his answers. “Look, Kaneki, I’m sorry, I never meant to be gone that long. Dad- he chanced breaking quarantine and came back from Nagasaki, and Marude-san used him as a bribe to keep me in his office until we were done.”
Momentarily, at least. The budget meeting had been rescheduled for the afternoon instead of 2 hours from nowwhich was a smaller mercy, but Hide would take what he could get.
“Takuya-san’s back?” Kaneki asked shyly.
“Yeah.” He scratched his cheek. “I- uh, hope you don’t mind, but I kinda invited him over for dinner tomorrow? I mean- he’d love to see you, and I want him to meet Touka, too.”
“No! That’s- that’s fine,” Kaneki stammered, rubbing his chin. “It’s, uh- we’ll manage something. I’m sure Touka will want to meet him too.”
Hide couldn’t help but smile faintly at Kaneki. “Oh, look at us lying liars who lie,” he said, before tugging lightly at the other man’s white locks. “Let me up, and let’s head back to bed. Touka’s still there, I take it?”
Kaneki sent him a slightly guilty look. “Her ankles were hurting, but she promised to wreck vengeance once we found out what happened to you.”
Hide wrinkled his nose. “I can’t help but worry she’s going to wreak vengeance on me.”
Kaneki smiled, and Hide felt his heart arrest in his chest at the sight. He hadn’t noticed when their faces had drawn so close together.
“I’ll protect you,” Kaneki said sweetly.
Hide huffed softly, tipping their foreheads together. “My hero.”
Kaneki slid an arm around his back and pulled him upright with insulting ease. “Let’s go to bed.”
Touka was sprawled out on the bed in her customary starfish pose, her chest raising and falling steadily with each breath. The swell of her belly was almost grotesque in contrast to the slimness of her body, and he was continually astonished that there was an actual human growing inside there.
Women were amazing, and honestly kind of terrifying.
He was a little surprised when Kaneki slid in behind him rather than turning in on Touka’s either side, leaving him as the metaphorical meat in their sandwich this time.
“You’re not-?”
Kaneki shook his head, not looking up from where he’d buried his face against the nape of his neck, his breath hot and damp against the skin there. “I’m not letting you out of sight quite yet.”
Hide shrugged. Fair enough. He wriggled closer to Touka, putting his arm above the swell of her belly and pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. She stirred briefly, reaching for his hand.
“K’neki found ‘im?”
He smiled into her shoulder, pressing another kiss there. “Yeah, he found me.”
Kaneki snorted into his hair. “More like he found everyone else first, and then found me.”
Touka waved a hand in his face, her eyes still shut. “Too m’ny words, shaddup.”
Hide began to snicker. “The Dowager has spoken, Kaneki.”
Kaneki was pressed up against him, back to chest, hips moulded to his butt, their knees touching even, feet to sole. Kaneki rubbed his cheek against his shoulder blade, one hand had slipped under his shirt and was skimming up the side of his ribs while the other held onto his shoulder, and just about melted into him with one last sigh.
Hide blinked vividly against the sudden prickle of tears. He was being a sap, and he wasn’t even the one with the fluctuating hormones. He couldn't ever think that while Touka was conscious; she really would pull his spleen out of his chest.
“You heard, Touka,” Kaneki murmured into the hinge of his jaw, nipping lightly at the skin there. “Go to sleep, Hide. We’ll be here in the morning.”
“But it already is morning,” Hide whined just to be contrary, but when his head hit the pillow he was out like a light.