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“Hey, Haruhi!” The twins dart over to her the moment Haruhi enters the classroom, their voices loud and using a weird sing-song tone. “Good morning.”
Haruhi averts her eyes, but smiles. “Morning, guys.”
Right now, they probably look like a exasperated boy being annoyed by a pair of overenthusiastic friends, but that can’t be further from the truth. Because Haruhi isn’t actually a boy (not that she’s a girl either), and the twins are not her friends. The three of them are all queer, and they’re all dating.
But that’s a secret.
---
Hikaru and Kaoru have always been together. Twins brought up in a rich yet lonely household, they never wanted or even needed other people. And their relationship has always been very odd, a bizarrely incestuous relationship that would repulse others to know about; they love each other deeply ad their love is strong and passionate and romantic… and a secret.
---
Haruhi isn’t the boy everyone thinks she is. But being assigned female at birth doesn’t make her a girl either. It took her until she was thirteen to put a name to this, and she nearly cried when she found the label for her: agender.
Love also makes no sense to Haruhi, and she has never understood kissing and crushes and falling in love. At fourteen, she realised she has never had any kind of feelings for others, and came out to Dad as aromantic and asexual.
So many people probably find her weird, but Haruhi doesn’t care. She is used to it.
***
When she met the twins, Haruhi found them annoying.
When the twins met Haruhi, their world changed. Meeting Tamaki had already begun to open Hikaru and Kaoru up to the world, but Haruhi changed them instantly. They met her as a boy and then learned she was a girl, and their feelings didn’t change. Her gender didn’t impact their love for her.
Since that first day they met, they have both been in love with Haruhi. Although at the time, they didn’t know two very important things about her: her gender and her sexuality. So asking her out was a bigger challenge than they first thought.
---
With the goal of dating Haruhi fresh in their minds, Hikaru and Kaoru approached Haruhi in their empty classroom one lunchtime. She sat at her desk and ate her bento, and they both blushed: she was so beautiful.
“What do you want?” Haruhi mumbled, and the twins jumped. How did she know they were there?
“Uh, we…” Hikaru began.
“Can we ask you something?” Kaoru finished.
Haruhi looked up at them and frowned, studying their expressions. “What?”
They glanced at each other, faces burning. And even though they were Hosts, even though they were perfectly happy being in an incestuous relationship, and even though they were practically unflappable, they blushed and stammered and blurted: “Haruhi, w-will you go o-out with us?”
Haruhi stared at them, her eyes widening. “Both of you?”
They nodded. “Uh huh.”
“Date me?”
“Uh huh?”
Haruhi ducked her head. “It… it’s really sweet of you, guys, but… I don’t like anyone that way.”
As Hikaru looked ready to deflate, Kaoru wracked his brain for what Haruhi was talking about. Like Hikaru, he was bisexual, so Kaoru knew all about various queer identities. And then it hit him.
“Are you aromantic?”
Haruhi blinked, her cheeks going pink. “Yeah. So it’s nothing personal, you know. I… don’t fall in love. Sorry.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Hikaru said. “You don’t need to apologise.”
“Just… can we still be friends?” Kaoru asked.
“Of course we can,” Haruhi said, smiling sadly.
---
“Have you heard of queerplatonic relationships?” Haruhi mumbled a couple of weeks after the twins asked her out.
The three of them sat under a tree in the vast school grounds, doing homework. She couldn’t get that love confession out of her mind. The twins wanted to date her. But… she didn’t feel that way about them. She didn’t feel that way about anyone.
But… she adored the twins, despite their annoying quirks. She didn’t love them, but her feels for them were… different to friendship.
“Huh?” Kaoru mumbled.
“It’s a word aro people use for relationships that aren’t romantic, but are different to friendship. I don’t want to date anyone in the tradition sense because those sorts of relationships involve romance, but a queerplatonic relationship sounds cool. And if there’s anyone I’d want to do that with, it’s you two.”
Hikaru and Kaoru stared at her, transfixed by her words.
“Haruhi, do you…?” Hikaru said slowly, and Kaoru added, “Want that sort of relationship?” And together, they said, “With us?”
“I don’t know if it would work, but we can try,” Haruhi said, and she smiled.
And when her words sank in, the twins grinned.
---
Over the next few days, the twins learned a lot about being aromantic, asexual and queerplatonic relationships, and Haruhi’s boundaries. After school one day, they sat in the games room at the twins’ house, and Haruhi hugged her knees to her chest. And, as she stared down at the floor, the twins asked her questions about what they had been researching.
“So, how do you feel about us being called your boyfriends?” Hikaru asked.
Haruhi shrugged. “I don’t know. It makes it seem a bit too… romantic. Um, sorry, this is awkward.”
“No, it’s fine,” Kaoru said, smiling. “We can come back to that. How do you feel about hugs?”
“Hugs are good,” she said, smiling. “I like hugs.”
Hikaru smiled too. “Cool. How about kissing?”
A grimace spread across Haruhi’s face, and she shook her head. “No, I really hate kissing. On the lips, I mean. I see people kissing like that on TV and it makes me feel sick and really uncomfortable. Uh, but I don’t get that reaction with all types of kissing. I mean, I sometimes kiss Dad on the cheek and that’s fine. And I guess forehead kisses might work. But not on my lips. Ever.”
“Okay,” Kaoru said, thankfully not put off by her rambling. “That’s fine. Holding hands?”
Without speaking, Haruhi held out her hands to both boys. They glanced at each other, grinned, and then carefully grasped her hands.
“This is nice,” Haruhi whispered.
---
“Haruhi?” Hikaru and Kaoru said a couple of days after their chat about boundaries, holding hands as they sat beside Haruhi in their back yard. Anxiety tied their guts into knots, and the twins had to force their smiles. “Can we talk to you about something?”
Glancing at them, Haruhi clearly saw through their fake smiles, and her eyes widened. “What? Is something wrong?”
“Not wrong,” Kaoru said, and Hikaru continued, “We just need to tell you something important.”
Haruhi frowned, still not fooled, but nodded. “What’s up?”
“Um…”
How were they supposed to put this?
“Uh…”
They deliberated, unsure how to explain their incestuous love, lest Haruhi think they were disgusting. They couldn’t lose Haruhi.
As the twins blushed and frowned, Haruhi’s eyes got even wider, as though she had just worked something out.
“Are you trying to tell me you’re twincest thing is more than just a Host Club act?” Haruhi said, and the twins flinched.
“Wh-What?”
“How did you know?”
“Hikaru, Kaoru, I’m the only person you know who can tell you apart. I’m quite perceptive, I guess. Look, what I’m trying to say is… I did wonder, to be honest. It’s weird, but you’re in love and you’re not hurting anybody, so… yeah.” She smiled. “Don’t worry. I won’t stop being your queerplatonic partner.”
“Haruhi, thank you,” Hikaru said, voice gasping with relief as he carefully clasped her hand between both of his.
Kaoru also smiled, the fear dissolving away, but something in her phrasing stood out to him. “Queerplatonic partner?”
Her cheeks flushing pink, Haruhi grinned. “Remember when I said I don’t like words like boyfriend? Well, I’ve found the name I like: queerplatonic partner. QPP for short. How does that sound?”
Still barely able to process Haruhi’s (non) reaction to their reveal, the twins clasped hands and grinned back. “Sounds great.”
---
She had been working at the Host Club for four months and in a queerplatonic relationship with the twins for almost two, but Haruhi hadn’t told them about her gender. Or, to be more specific, her lack thereof. She just didn’t know how they would react. It was confusing enough for the guys when they discovered Haruhi wasn’t a boy, so how would they react to her being agender? What if they were bigots who said her gender was fake? What if they laughed and misgendered her?
Of course, deep down, Haruhi knew they would accept her, especially the twins. But when did rationality ever make anxiety go away?
So it made sense that her heart raced and her hands trembled when Haruhi gathered the six guys in the club room (Renge was also there, but Haruhi never knew if she was listening) and stood before they all with her hands clasped.
“So, I believe you have news?” Kyouya said.
Haruhi noded. “Uh, yeah.”
“If there is something wrong, let Daddy handle it for you, my Haruhi,” Tamaki said (beside him, the twins groaned).
“Please stop calling yourself that, senpai,” she muttered.
“Is everything okay, Haru-chan?” Honey asked, eyes wide.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “I just… there’s something I want to tell you all. I… I’m not a girl. Or a boy. I don’t have a gender.”
Everyone stared at her (except Kyouya), eyes widening. Honey and Mori looked at each other and then to her and then back again. The twins looked puzzled, but shot her reassuring smiles. And Tamaki looked… as though he was a drawing in black-and-white, all colour gone from his face. And Kyouya simply smirked and looked back at his book.
“So, uh, what do you think?” Haruhi said slowly, scared to hear their responses. But she didn’t need to be.
“Are you agender?” Mori asked.
“That’s the name you use when you don’t have a gender, right, Haru-chan?” Honey said, clinging to Mori.
“Uh, yeah, that’s right,” she said, a little flustered at how easily they got it.
“So you’re not a girl,” Hikaru said, and Kaoru added, “But not a boy either?”
“That’s right,” Haruhi said, blushing.
The twins grinned. Haruhi wanted to hug them, but she didn’t want to out their relationship (or give Tamaki a heart attack), so she stuck with a smile.
“So… you’re not my little girl?” Tamaki said, words coming out slowly.
Haruhi wanted to point out that she was never his little girl (for the simple reason that Tamaki was not her father), but didn’t have the strength. That was another argument for another day. Instead, she nodded and said, “Yes, senpai. I’m not a girl.”
She could almost hear the cogs turning in his brain, but Tamaki eventually smiled – a genuine smile. “Well, that’s fine with me, Haruhi.”
“Thanks, Tamaki-senpai,” she said, smiling. But then her gaze fell on Kyouya, who was ignoring their conversation to focus on reading his thick novel. “Uh, what do you think about my… news, Kyouya-senpai?”
Kyouya glanced at her over the top of his glasses. I already knew about your gender, so it wasn’t news for me.”
Haruhi stared at him. But before she had a chance to splutter a reply, the others beat her to it.
“How did you know that before us?” the twins demanded.
“Mommy has been keeping secrets from Daddy?!” Tamaki cried like the overdramatic dork he was, and Kyouya rolled his eyes.
“Have you already forgotten?” Kyouya said as Tamaki went to sulk in the corner, head on his knees. “I do detailed background research on everyone. And that includes discovering that your father asked your junior high to let you change separately from the girls because you were agender. And, yes, I learned this months ago. I just didn’t consider it necessary to talk about.”
Haruhi let out a slow breath and laughed. That was just so like Kyouya, and she couldn’t quite believe her coming out went so well, and the twins grinned and the sound of a powerful motor signalled the arrival of Renge, Kyouya’s ultimate fangirl, and Haruhi wondered just how her life ended up this way.
But she wasn’t complaining.
Not at all.
***
All of that happened a few weeks ago, but it feels like years and years. Haruhi is dating the twins and is out to her friends as agender and she loves her somewhat wacky life as a member of the Host Club.
And even though they’re not out as a triad, she and the twins are happy in their queerplatonic relationship and Haruhi adores them both and she doesn’t care that they’re both in love but she doesn’t blame them for keeping the relationship secret. To be honest, Haruhi isn’t big on the idea of coming out to their classmates for a simple, if trivial reason: she doesn’t want to be stared at for being part of a triad.
But none of that matters. However it works, she loves her queerplatonic relationship with Kaoru and Hikaru, and Haruhi loves just… being with them, as a triad.
“I love it when we can just be… us,” is how she puts it one evening, and Hikaru grins and Kaoru kisses her forehead.
“So do we,” they say, grinning.