Chapter Text
Connor couldn't comprehend the mere notion of Gavin and Hank getting along. It was obvious to anyone within a 30ft radius that these two clashing personalities could only grate together like tectonic plates in an earthquake, the fallout of their arguments often lead to similar devastation of the surrounding environment, namely at the precinct. (it always would annoy the android when Hank shoved Gavin a little hard and it jostled his various desk decorations, he'd fixed his plant back into place exactly 13 times this week). All in all, those bitches couldn't fucking stand each other.
So when Connor returned from the evidence room, ready to begin the case Hank and himself has just been assigned, it was certainly... peculiar to say the least. The two were huddled together at Hank's desk, both looking at something in Gavin's hand. A quick scan revealed it was his phone which, he supposed, wouldn't be so suspicious if the two weren't giggling.
"Uh, Lieutenant?" Connor tried and immediately detected a quick rise in both their stress levels (an unconcerning but strange 27%) before they quickly turned to face him, Gavin's hands behind his back and Hank giving him a shocked look. Suspicious.
"Uh, Connor! I thought you said you were going to the evidence room for a while?" Hank asked, noticeably moving away from Gavin as he did the same. Very suspicious. "Yeah, Dipshit, you slacking on the job now?" Gavin said but it didn't sound how it usually did when he was rude to Connor, he sounded fairly nervous, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. It was almost amusing.
"Quite the contrary, Detective. I have finished all my assigned tasks and wish to start on our new case although you both have piqued my interest. What were you looking at?"
This made Gavin and Hank look at each other before back at Connor, having a silent conversation with their eyes. (Since when had they been close enough for that, exactly?) Gavin made an approximate 'I don't know' sound before Hank sighed and moved forward.
"Right, so this is, like, one of those human things. I don't think you'd understand it just yet," Hank said, trying to dissuade him but it had quite the opposite effect.
"Please show me, Lieutenant. I'd like to see..." Connor asked, LED flickering yellow for a moment. It was times like these that he felt the most disconnected from other people, always not a part of inside jokes or innuendos flying over his head despite the alleged efficiency of his Social Programme. Like really, that shit kinda hurt despite him knowing that Hank didn't mean it in that way.
"Might as well, the fucker'll leave us alone then," Gavin mumbled, bringing out his phone and typing in the passcode. Hank cringed at the idea and decided to warn Connor. "Really Con, it's nothing grand."
Connor gave him an unpleased look that seemed to make him settle as Gavin turned his screen to let Connor see. Needless to say he was confused.
It was a video of an android (Wait, was that Markus?!) dressed in a neon green suit standing on a kitchen counter. Connor watched as he jumped down and shouted "I'm gay!".
"Detective, I don't think I-" he was cut off by Gavin, who was making a 'shush' noise at tapping him on the arm in attempt to quiet him. Bitch.
"Shut up, this is the best part!"
The scene changed to Markus with a guitar, singing (?) to Simon "I love you, bitch. I ain't ever gonna stop loving you. Bitch." while Simon (with North, he noted) appeared touched.
"Lieutenant, please explain-" Another 'shush'.
This time it was Simon (only he had a strange outfit on that made him appear like a woman). "Hit or miss, I guess they never miss, huh!". This was then followed by Markus singing- no, Connors scan detected his vocal components weren't activated, mouthing along. "Hit or miss, I guess they took the kids, huh."
Connor's LED circled yellow as it moved to a shot of Alice. What the fuck?. "They took her? Lieutenant, we must get her back!" He shouted in concern, only making Hank laugh and Gavin wheeze.
"Connor, it's not real you fucking idiot," Gavin supplied, his insult holding more amusement than malice. "Look, it's just a meme." he said, showing him the title of the video.
'Android Vines and Memes, fRESH FROM THE OVEN'
"But Detective, videos come from-"
"Yes, Connor, we know."
Gavin just took back his phone and continued to watch them, only pausing it when Hank complained. "Can't you just download that shit?" He said offhandedly, more bothered about watching the video.
Actually, Connor hadn't thought of that, what with being preoccupied with his own confusion. After a quick search that soon turned into a deep browse, Connor was enlightened. This bitch had seen the light, there was an android heaven and he had just stared RA9 in the face.
"If you'll excuse me..." Connor said, leaving them to their devices, just hearing a 'told you he'd leave' from Reed as he left.
He had a new mission to complete. Surely the case could wait, if Internet culture could make even Gavin and Hank get along than it would obviously be an advantage for him to be knowledgeable on the matter. Or at least, that's what Connor convinced himself.
For now he needed a nerf gun, a phone, a defibrillator and 39 bottles of squeeze-cheese . Immediately.