Work Text:
”So I guess this is it,” Dan murmurs, frowning as he looks at Phil. They’re both standing on the side of the road by Phil’s parents’ house, waiting for Dan’s car to arrive to take him to the airport so he can be with his own family on Christmas Day.
Phil nods and takes a step closer to Dan. “It’ll only be a few days. Then we’ll be back home, and we’ll be together.” He places his hands on Dan’s hips and pecks his lips.
“I’ll miss being here,” Dan says softly as he wraps his arms around Phil’s neck. “It’s so peaceful and private.”
Phil smiles, knowing exactly what Dan means.
The thing they both love most about visiting Isle of Man is that they don’t have to hide. Phil can kiss Dan without fear of anyone seeing them. They can hold hands on walks, sit on the beach and watch the sunset together, and they can say as much sickeningly cute stuff as they want. It’s a much smaller town than the big city they live in, and most of the residents are older and don’t even know what YouTube is.
“That reminds me, I have a present for you,” Phil says, pulling back slightly. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out an envelope.
“I thought we agreed to do presents when we get home?” Dan asks, taking the envelope nonetheless.
Phil nods. “We did, but I want to give this to you now so you have something to look forward to.”
Dan smiles and opens the envelope.
Mayor of London’s New Year’s Eve Fireworks 2018
Monday 31 December 2018 at 8:00pm - Tuesday 01 January 2019 at 12:45am
Thames Riverside, Central London, SE1, United Kingdom
One Adult Viewing Area: Blue VIP
“What’re these?” Dan asks as he pulls out two tickets. He grins as he reads them and looks up at Phil. “When did you get these?”
Phil shrugs and smiles at Dan. “A few months ago. We’ve talked about going since we lived in Manchester but we never have.”
Dan nods. “Yeah, all the people. We’ll be seen.”
“Yeah, we will. That okay?”
Dan thinks for a minute. He knows what Phil’s asking. They’re both big on traditions, especially Phil, so each year they kiss at midnight to ring in the new year. If they go to see the fireworks in person, then there’s no doubt that someone will see them. That’s why they’d never gone before, because they didn’t want anyone to see them kissing.
“We don’t have to,” Phil says. “They weren’t that expensive. We could give them to Martyn and-”
“Phil, I haven’t said no,” Dan interrupts, stopping Phil’s nervous babbling.
“I know we’ve talked a lot about not hiding anymore but this would be big,” Phil says softly, trailing off.
Dan nods. “Yeah, they’ll be no going back. Everyone will know.”
Phil nods as well. “Yeah,” he whispers. He reaches out and holds Dan’s hand.
They’ve been talking all year about wanting to be more open with their viewers and not hide their relationship anymore, and although the thought still scares Dan, he knows he’s ready, they both are.
“So where are our seats?” Dan asks.
“We’re in the VIP section, a small roped off area at the very front. It’s more formal, so we’ll have to wear suits but there’ll be champagne and snacks!” Phil says, obviously very excited about the prospect of snacks.
“So will non-VIPs be close enough to see?” Dan asks.
Phil nods. “Yeah, there are only like fifty VIP tickets, so it’s a pretty small area. People with regular tickets will be able to go right up to the rope and be able to see us,” he explains.
Dan nods and bites his lip. “So um...viewers…?” he trails off.
“Yeah, it’s likely some of our viewers will be right there watching.”
Dan takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay, but we’re going to buy new suits. If we’re going to have this big coming out, I want us to both look our best.”
Phil laughs and nods. “Okay, that’s fair.”
He smiles at Phil. “We can go shopping when we get home.”
“I love you,” Phil whispers as he pulls Dan into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be okay. No matter what happens, we’ll be okay.”
Dan smiles. “I love you too.”
Phil pulls away after a minute and looks at Dan. “I’m excited, it’ll be nice to finally go out for New Year’s Eve.”
A car beeps behind Dan and he turns his head, frowning when he sees it’s his taxi. “Guess I have to go now.”
Phil nods. He cups Dan’s cheek and kisses him. “Five days, it’s only five days and four nights.”
Dan sighs and nods. “You get back the twenty-eighth too, right?”
“Yes, I’ll get in a couple hours after you.”
“And we’ll Skype every night?” Dan asks softly.
Phil nods. “Yes, every night and every morning,” he assures him. Phil kisses Dan once more. He knows how bad Dan gets when he’s at home, Phil’s seen it firsthand. He knows that being back in his old bedroom puts Dan into the same negative headspace he’d been in for years growing up. “It’ll be okay,” Phil promises. “We’ll Skype twice a day, text all day long, and you can call me whenever you want.” The car beeps again and Phil sighs, shooting a glare in the driver’s direction.
“Okay,” Dan says softly. He sighs and nods before speaking again, sounding much more sure of himself, “Okay.”
Phil smiles and picks up Dan’s suitcase and carries it to the car, putting in the boot. “I’ll see you real soon,” Phil promises as he walks around to the open car door.
Dan nods at him. “Yeah, really really soon.” He smiles and pecks Phil’s lips. “Happy Christmas Eve, Phil.”
“Happy Christmas Eve, Dan,” Phil says softly. He holds the door open as Dan climbs in. Phil leans down for one final kiss before stepping back and shutting the door. He waves goodbye as the car pulls of, he doesn’t stop until the car turns at the corner and Phil can’t see it anymore.
~*~*~*~
“Are you sure you want to go?” Phil asks.
Dan rolls his eyes and smiles. It isn’t the first time Phil has asked him that today. “Yes, I’m positive. I want to see the fireworks with you and kiss at midnight and I don’t care who sees.”
Phil laughs and nervously runs his fingers through his quiff. “How do I look?”
“You look incredible,” Dan grins, eyeing Phil up and down.
Phil is wearing a skinny, navy blue suit with a light blue and white check pattern. Dan’s suit, also skinny, is black with stripes of an intricate gold, paisley design either pant leg, while the entirety of the jacket is covered with the same beautiful design. They both pair their suits with simple white button downs and black shoes, making their looks more cohesive without actually matching.
They’d both gone shopping the day after they got home to pick out new suits for tonight, Dan had seen these two suits on mannequins stood next to each other and instantly knew Phil would look amazing in the blue one and he could pull off the gold; he was right.
“I have to admit, we do look good,” Phil says with a grin as he looks at them both in their bathroom mirror. He turns to the side to see himself from another angle.
Dan smirks and smacks Phil’s ass. “Told you so.” He laughs when Phil turns toward him and playfully smacks his arm.
“Ready to go?” Phil asks. He reaches out and gently runs his fingers through one of Dan’s curls, smiling as he watches it spring back into place.
He nods. “Yeah, I’m ready.” Dan wrinkles his nose but makes no effort to stop Phil, finding it too cute and sweet to care that Phil might mess up his hair.
Phil grins and takes Dan’s hand. He checks his pockets to make sure he has the tickets for the event and everything else he’ll need for tonight, including a small black box. Once he’s sure he has everything, the two of them head out to the Uber he’d called. They both decide to forgo wearing coats since it’s relatively warm for winter and Dan insists coats would ruin their aesthetic.
Their Uber takes them as close as they can get to see the fireworks, but it’s very crowded and some streets are closed so they still have to walk after they get dropped off. It takes a few minutes of walking around, but eventually they find their correct entrance.
Phil pulls out the tickets and his ID, holding them both in one hand to have ready to hand over once they reach the front of the line. Dan’s standing beside him and holds Phil’s free hand, interlocking their fingers together. Phil feels his heart pick up speed as he looks down and sees their connected hands.
“Okay?” Dan asks softly.
Phil nods and smiles. He lifts their hands and kisses Dan’s knuckles.
Dan blushes and the corners of his lips turn up. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Phil whispers, kissing the back of Dan’s hand before lowering their hands to their sides as they’re finally next in line, but not letting go. Phil hands over their tickets and shows his ID to the man who checks that the name on the tickets matches Phil’s ID.
“Mr. Lester, you and your husband can head right up to the front to the roped off section. There’s some seating as well as complimentary champagne and snacks.”
Phil blushes when the man calls Dan his husband. “Thank you, sir.”
“Not yet,” Dan murmurs to Phil as they walk to the VIP section, though he doesn’t correct the man.
Luckily, they’re able to find an empty bench to sit on with the London Eye directly in front of them across the River Thames.
“I’ll go get us some champagne,” Phil says.
Dan nods. “I’ll save your seat.” He kisses Phil’s cheek before he walks off.
When Phil returns a few minutes later, Dan is taking a video of the London Eye as it changes all the different colors of the rainbow. “Instagram?” Phil asks. He walks behind the bench so he doesn’t get in Dan’s shot. Phil sits down and looks at Dan’s phone, watching him finish.
Dan nods once he’s happy with the video. “Yep, thought it would be fun to post a timelapse of it to show my gay pride,” he jokes, grinning at Phil.
Phil rolls his eyes fondly at Dan and hands him a glass of champagne. “Giving our viewers not so subtle hints?”
“Well if this is the last night I can post something gay and them speculate about whether or not I know it’s gay, then you bet I’m gonna enjoy it.” It had been a running joke for a while; Dan enjoyed watching people speculate about his sexuality and guess what the intention behind his posts were. More often than not, Dan only posted it to see their reaction and have a bit of fun.
Phil smiles and bumps his shoulder against Dan’s gently. “Toast?”
He nods and raises his glass. “To us,” Dan says.
“To us,” Phil repeats as he clinks his glass against Dan’s.
“Let’s do another toast for Instagram,” Dan suggests after a minute.
Phil nods and holds his glass up so Dan can take a photo of their glasses touching with the London Eye in the background.
Dan, naturally, takes a few more pictures before finally deciding on one. He puts a filter on it and uploads it to his Instagram story. He mutes his phone and slides it back into his pocket, not wanting to be disturbed by all the notifications he will no doubt be getting. Dan looks over and notices Phil nervously fidgeting. “Everything okay?”
“Huh? What? Oh. Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Phil says, his cheeks turning slightly pink.
“Are you sure you want to go public tonight?” Dan asks softly. He reaches out to hold Phil’s hand.
Phil smiles and gives Dan’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure. I’m not having second thoughts, promise,” he assures Dan.
“Okay, if you say so,” Dan says, not entirely buying it but not pushing it because he’s nervous too despite being positive this is something he wants.
He nods. “I do, I’m really sure about this.”
There are still a few hours before midnight but neither of them mind the extra time together. The atmosphere is full of excited energy the people behind them are singing and dancing. A playlist of the year’s most popular songs plays and even the other VIPs are dancing in their suits and dresses; everyone is enjoying the last few hours of 2018.
“This year was big for us,” Dan says.
Phil nods and hums. “Yeah, personally and for our careers.”
“I can’t believe we went on an entire world tour in 2018,” he says. “I can’t believe we have a DVD.”
“I know, it almost feels like a dream. Hey- what? Dan!”
Dan laughs and grins at Phil.
“Why’d you pinch me?” Phil asks, frowning though he isn’t actually angry.
“You said this feels like a dream so I had to check.”
Phil rolls his eyes and laughs, playfully pinching Dan back.
Dan sticks his tongue out at Phil then looks back at the big wheel.
Phil sneakily takes a photo of Dan looking up at the London Eye. He almost gets away with it but Dan notices just as Phil finishes.
“Hey! Don’t take creepy pictures of me, stalker,” Dan laughs. He leans over to look at the picture and nods in approval.
“Oh I’m the stalker?” Phil asks, raising an eyebrow at Dan. “You’re the one who calls himself Phil Trash #1.”
He nudges Phil and giggles. “Yeah, and? You’re Dan Trash #1.” Dan bites the inside of his cheek and his smile fades ever so slightly. “Right?” he asks, confidence fading.
Phil nods. “Of course, I was your very first subscriber after all. I think that alone qualifies me to be Dan Trash #1.” Phil places his hand on Dan’s knee and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Just because you stalked me before we met doesn’t mean you love me more. If anything that just proves that I love you more. I mean, I overlooked your stalking tendencies afterall.”
Dan smiles at Phil, knowing that Phil’s subtly trying to make him feel better and not as self-conscious. “I love you too.” He leans over and rests his head on Phil’s shoulder, feeling Phil’s arm wrap around his waist to pull him closer.
“We meet with our real estate agent on the third,” Phil says absently. He slips his hand under Dan’s suit jacket and rests his hand on Dan’s waist, feeling the warmth radiating from him.
Dan nods and hums softly. “Yeah, I can’t wait wait to see the houses in person. The pictures of that one she sent over last week look stunning.”
“Which one?” Phil questions.
“The grey one with the brick,” Dan says. “It has the giant windows in the bedroom like you want.”
Phil smiles. “Oh yeah, that one is my favorite. Lots of privacy with all the trees, plus there are enough rooms to have one for filming and still have two proper guest rooms.”
“Yeah, I think us having one room to film everything in will be much easier than having a gaming room and an AmazingPhil room.”
Phil rests his chin on the top of Dan’s head and nods in agreement. “We’ll each have our own setup for filming, and an area to do livestreams.”
“Yes, we can finally do gaming streams again!”
Phil chuckles softly. “Yeah, everyone will love that.”
He nods and pulls out his phone to check the time. “It’s almost midnight,” Dan says.
“Oh, already?” Phil asks, nervous energy spreading throughout him.
“Yeah, just twenty minutes. Do you wanna move closer?” Dan asks.
Phil nods. “I’ll get more champagne so we can toast, then we can find a spot to stand,” he says.
Dan sits up and smiles. “Okay, I’ll wait here.”
Phil makes his way over to the table with food and drinks. They’ve had their fair share of snacks but they’ve stuck to hot chocolate after having one glass of champagne upon arrival. Phil checks his phone and sees a text from his brother.
From Martyn: Good luck bro!!
He smiles as he types a response, grateful that his brother has texted him. Phil had been incredibly nervous about tonight and had spoken to Martyn a lot over the last couple months while planning everything. When Phil needed a second opinion to make sure he’d made the right decision, he’d gone to Martyn for help. Then he’d gone to Cornelia for a third opinion since she has a better eye for these sorts of things and has similar taste to Dan.
From Phil: Thanks! I’ll let you know how it goes!
When Phil returns, just ten minutes to midnight, he sees Dan still sitting on the bench, seemingly lost in thought. He walks over but before Phil can say anything, he’s interrupted by someone calling their names.
“Dan! Phil!”
Dan turns and sees three people standing by the rope, obviously viewers. He looks at Phil then stands up and they both make their way over to greet the viewers. “Hi, Happy New Year,” he says as they get closer. “Well, almost.”
“Sorry to interrupt but we’ve all been watching you for a few years. Thank you so much for all that you do!”
“Aww thanks. Do you guys want a selfie?” Dan asks, reaching out for one of their phones. They all get in close and Dan takes a few selfies of them.
“That was a little awkward,” Phil murmurs softly as they walk away.
Dan shrugs. “Yeah, a bit. Not the best time for a meet and greet but they were nice.”
They find a good spot by the low concrete wall separating them from the water. They’re right in front of the London Eye and will have the perfect view of the fireworks.
Phil glances around nervously and spots the group of viewers not too far away from them, still standing by the rope. He turns to Dan. “You still want to do this?” Phil asks softly.
Dan glances over his shoulder and sees them. “I do, do you?”
Phil takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, I do too.”
“One minute to midnight!” someone from the crowd shouts.
Phil feels his heart trying to pound its way out of his chest.
“Thirty! Twenty-nine!”
“Dan?” Phil asks softly, his voice shaking.
Dan turns and looks at Phil. He can hear how nervous Phil is. “Everything okay?”
Phil nods and closes his eyes for a moment.
“Twenty! Nineteen! Eighteen!”
Phil opens his eyes and looks at Dan. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls something small out. “Daniel Howell,” he starts.
“Fifteen! Fourteen!”
Dan raises an eyebrow at Phil.
Phil drops to one knee and Dan audibly gasps.
“Twelve! Eleven!”
“We’ve spent the last nine years together. Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Daniel Howell, will you marry me?” Phil opens the small black box to reveal two matching rings.
“Eight! Seven! Six!”
Dan grins down at Phil and nods. “Yes, yes yes yes, a million times yes!” He reaches down and pulls Phil up.
“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!”
Dan presses his lips hard against Phil’s. He throws his arms around Phil’s neck and tangles his fingers in Phil’s hair.
Phil grins as Dan kisses him, kissing back just as hard. He wraps one arm around Dan’s waist to pull him close and cups Dan’s cheek with his empty hand.
“I love you, Phil Lester,” Dan whispers against Phil’s lips.
Phil pecks Dan’s lips before pulling back. He wipes a few tears from Dan’s cheek and smiles widely at him. Phil holds up the ring box and pulls out Dan’s ring.
Dan giggles and holds out his left hand, grinning like an idiot as Phil slips the ring on his finger. “Oh Phil, it’s so beautiful.” The ring is silver and twists around two large stones to make an infinity sign. Small diamonds frame either sides of the two stones. “Is that garnet and-”
“Alexandrite, yeah,” Phil says with a smile. “Both our birthstones.”
Dan takes the other ring from the box and sees that it’s the exact same as his, just a different size.
Phil holds out his left hand and smiles at Dan, his smile widening as Dan puts the ring on him. “So, you really like them?”
Dan nods and holds out his hand next to Phil’s. “They’re perfect. And I’m happy we have matching ones.”
Dan looks around, noticing for the first time that people are watching them. His cheeks turn pink and he bites his lip. He spots the viewers they’d met just minutes ago; they have their phones pointed towards them and are cheering excitedly.
Phil follows Dan’s gaze. He places his hands on Dan’s hips and squeezes gently, getting Dan’s attention. Phil raises his eyebrow and tilts his head slightly. “Okay?”
Dan understands what Phil’s asking. He smiles and nods. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Picture for Instagram?” Phil asks.
Dan nods and pulls out his phone. He holds his arm out and takes a burst of photos as Phil moves one hand to Dan’s cheek and pulls him in for a kiss.
Dan flips through the photos and sees that by some miracle, he was able to get a clear photo of them kissing with fireworks going off in the background.
Phil looks over Dan’s shoulder and smiles. “It’s perfect,” he murmurs. “Gonna post it?”
“Yeah but first, hold up your left hand,” Dan says. Once Phil does as he requested, Dan does the same. He takes pictures of their new rings, admiring the way the fireworks reflect on the stones. Dan realizes he’s grinning and knows he probably looks ridiculous taking so many pictures of their hands, but he doesn’t care. He chooses the best picture that shows off their rings and posts it to his Instagram along with the photo of them kissing.
Phil’s grinning as he watches Dan post the pictures. He pulls out his own phone and immediately likes the post and saves the two photos, sharing them on his Instagram and Twitter. “That’s it, no going back,” Phil says softly as he puts his phone away and looks at his fiance.
Dan nods and smiles. He picks up his glass of champagne. “To no more hiding,” he says.
Phil chuckles softly and toasts with Dan. “To no more hiding.” After taking a sip, Phil moves to stand behind Dan. He puts his glass on the wall and wraps his arms around Dan’s waist, resting his chin on Dan’s shoulder as Phil hugs him from behind. “Love you,” Phil whispers.
“Love you,” Dan murmurs back.
Dan knows the news of their engagement is officially out there and by morning, it’ll be all anyone is talking about. The thought sends small sparks of anxiety coursing through his body; and although he’s scared, Dan feels lighter. They don’t have to constantly watch what they say and do. They can, for the first time, be completely open about who they are and the state of their relationship. They don’t have to hide anymore.