Chapter Text
Marinette always thought everything would change when she finally discovered the name of the boy behind Chat Noir’s mask.
But in the end, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
After the initial shock wore off (and after they had both taken some time to catalogue every misunderstanding from the past two years and wallow in their own mortification), it didn’t seem to make much of a difference now that they knew who the other was. Their teamwork and schoolwork continued the same as before, Adrien with his extra lessons and photo shoots, Marinette with her babysitting and art projects. Life continued so normally, in fact, that at times Marinette almost forgot what she knew.
The first major change either of them noticed came a few days afterwards, when the revelation was still fresh and they were still unsteady. And once they noticed it, they realized it wasn’t so major after all. They had been sitting together on a bench outside the school, discussing a class assignment that was due the following day, when an akumatized supervillain flew overhead. As pedestrians screamed and ran for cover, the two teenagers automatically began to make their excuses, only to stop and chuckle awkwardly when they realized that they didn’t need to lie anymore. At least not to each other.
It felt weird the first time they transformed together. But by the time the battle ended and they returned to that same shadowy corner behind the gym to change back, it felt as natural as breathing. After that, everything else fell into place.
Marinette started keeping a ziplock bag with emergency camembert in her locker.
Adrien made a habit of getting to school early so he could proof read her physics homework.
Ladybug found excuses for them to stay out on patrol later.
Chat made a point of handling the press so that Ladybug could get home before her parents began to worry.
Just little things. Simple gestures that made life that much easier for both of them. Their partnership was much stronger for these little changes, and Marinette could see the resulting benefits in the ease with which they were dispatching akumas these days. Paris had never been safer.
Was it selfish for her to want more?
Marinette ignored Tikki’s reproachful stare as she replayed the video clip from Chat’s press conference for the tenth time. Yet another reporter had asked if the Protectors of Paris were officially an item. Before he found out her identity, he would have winked and made some enigmatic comment about maybe someday.
But not anymore.
Now, he said:
“Ladybug and me? Of course not! We’re just very good friends.”
Okay, so Adrien didn’t love her, she knew that already. And she’d always suspected that Chat Noir was exaggerating his affections.
But it was still hard not to take his sudden lack of romantic interest personally, even three months after the revelation. She was a little surprised he had even answered the reporter’s question. On the few occasions she had managed to work up the courage to mention romanticism in any capacity, he quickly changed the subject. Hurt feelings or no, Adrien had made it abundantly clear that he did not want to discuss his past confessions or their future relationship, and it wasn’t as if Marinette could force him to talk to her.
Marinette had always assumed that if the revelation changed their relationship in any way, it ended with the two of them officially together and living happily ever after. But that’s not how the story went in real life. The story didn’t end with Adrien realizing that he’d been head over heels in love with Marinette this whole time and promising himself to her for always. In real life, stories never ended up like that. This story ended with Chat Noir realizing that he had mistook comradery and affection for love and correcting his behavior so as to avoid any further misunderstandings.
This story ended with Marinette sucking it up and plastering on a happy smile, because that’s what her partner needed from her.
But here’s why Adrien losing interest in Ladybug once he found out she was Marinette might be the best thing that ever happened:
…well…uh…Marinette would get back to you on that one.
See, what you had to remember was that she hadn’t wanted to reveal their identities in the first place, so really it wasn’t that big of a deal.
Who cared?
What did it matter?
What did any of it matter if he didn’t love her anymore?
Assuming he ever even truly loved her to begin with?
“Ladybug and me? Of course not! We’re just very good friends.”
“Please, Marinette.” Tikki sighed and placed her arm on Marinette’s fingers, stopping her from clicking the mouse and replaying the video clip. Her chosen had been moping in her room for far too long. “Stop doing this to yourself.”
“I just wish I knew why, Tikki.” Marinette whispered as her tears stubbornly refused to fall. Crying might help her feel better, but she was all cried out. “Why doesn’t he want me anymore?”
***
Adrien re-watched the press conference one last time before turning to Plagg.
“What do you think?” He asked.
“Mostly I think about cheese.” Plagg answered without looking up from his dinner.
“I meant what do you think about how I handled the last question?”
“The one about you and Ladybug getting all gross and gooey?”
“Plagg!” Adrien flushed red.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Adrien, I was talking about sex.”
“Plagg!” Adrien groaned and hid his burning face in his hands. “That’s the exact opposite of what I want!”
Plagg put down his cheese and gave his chosen a withering glare. “Kid, we share a bedroom. I know who you want to have sex with. And I’m not shaming you, I’m just saying that you’re not exactly subtle. Or quiet.”
Adrien made some strangled squeaks into his palms, but he choked down his angry retort. He knew from experience that Plagg was never going to be convinced to be more tactful about Adrien’s mortal habits, no matter how many bribes, threats or extortion tactics Adrien utilized.
“Do you think…” He whispered, closer to scared than he was willing to admit. “Do you think she knows?”
That was his greatest fear, Marinette discovering his feelings for her.
“No way. Humans never pick up on that kind of thing. You’re proof enough of that.”
Adrien had always assumed that finding out Ladybug’s secret identity would be the best thing that ever happened to him.
He was wrong.
Because now that he knew, he was constantly terrified.
What if he said the wrong thing? What if he did something that made her uncomfortable? What if he put them at risk?
What if she ended up wishing he was someone else?
Adrien wasn’t a complete fool. Deep down, he knew that Marinette had a crush on him as Adrien. But as Ladybug she had made it very clear that she wasn’t interested. Now Adrien didn’t know where he stood with her and that scared him. What if he couldn’t be what she needed him to be? He did everything he could to make her comfortable, hoping that if he could be the best friend and partner he could be, she wouldn’t change her mind and vanish from his life.
It had all started a few days after the revelation, when Adrien sat down with a cup of coffee and the Ladyblog archives and took a long, detailed inventory of his own behavior towards his lady.
He didn’t like what he saw.
Because now that he knew it was Marinette under the mask, he could actually see her. He could see all the times he put his arm around her in front of the cameras and she flinched a little before removing his limb with a wry quip. Before, when all he’d seen was Ladybug, he’d heard the quip but missed the flinch. Before, it had all been a game to him. But now he could see her squirming under her mask with every innuendo and the knowledge that he had made Marinette so profoundly uncomfortable was eating him alive.
He realized that Chat Noir was kind of a jerk, and the only reason he had that realization was that as he watched the videos he kept thinking I would never say that to Marinette.
Which was also confusing in and of itself. Because knowing it was Marinette changed everything, but he couldn’t explain why or how. And she handled the revelation with such ease, such aplomb, he felt guilty for feeling unsettled which in turn made him even feel more vulnerable and scared than before. He was trapped in a vicious cycle of insecurity and overcorrection.
After that realization, everything kind of fell apart for Adrien Agreste. He had always been so confident as Chat Noir, and now he was doubting everything. Every word, every gesture, every split second of eye contact. And it wasn’t any better when he was Adrien, because as Adrien he had to contend with his friends’ expectations.
Nino and Alya were getting impatient. And Adrien didn’t have all the details, but there was a betting pool going on amongst their classmates and Nino had hinted that it would be preferable if Adrien and Marinette could make things official before the end of the holiday break. And Adrien tried to tell him off, but Nino gave him this look and said:
“Dude, it’s so obvious how you feel about her. Just tell her already.”
But Adrien couldn’t do that.
Because the horrible awful shameful truth was that Adrien didn’t know how to feel about Marinette. Or about Ladybug. Or about himself. Adrien didn’t know how to feel about any of it.
Here’s what he knew:
He had fallen in love with Ladybug. Marinette had fallen in love with Adrien. Then Ladybug rejected Chat Noir and he turned to Marinette for comfort, which…awkward. In hindsight, very very very awkward. As Adrien struggled to get over Ladybug he repeatedly turned to Marinette for help, and she agreed, which…was a little strange, since he was nearly certain she still had a crush on him at that point.
Here’s what he wondered:
Why? Why had she helped him with Kagami, if she also liked him? He understood her doing that now, since he was certain her crush had been snuffed out by the revelation, but why then?
The only answer Adrien could come up with was that Marinette had decided they were better off as friends. And she was probably right. Love fades but friendship lasts. He didn’t want to lose her…
As long as he was a good partner and a good friend, then nothing would change. And as long as nothing changed, he wouldn’t lose her.
“Do you think she’ll be okay with my answer?” Adrien asked Plagg nervously as he played the clip again.
“Ladybug and me? Of course not! We’re just very good friends.”
“I dunno, kid.” Plagg sighed. If he was being honest, he was equally worried about both Adrien and Marinette. They were really bungling this whole situation. Fortunately, he wasn’t Tikki and he didn’t have to be honest if he didn’t want to be. “I prefer to focus on the finer things in life.”
“You mean cheese?”
“Obviously.”
***
“Miraculous Ladybug!”
“Bye bye little butterfly.”
“Pound it.”
“Ladybug? Chat Noir? What’s going on? What am I doing here?”
Chat Noir watched Ladybug as she tended to the victim. Was it ever hard for her, he wondered, to be kind to people who just moments ago had been trying to destroy her? He knew it was sometimes hard for Marinette. He’d seen her struggle, seen her occasionally make mistakes, seen her pick herself up and pull herself together and he’d seen her work hard to set right whatever wrongs she might have done. He’d seen her forgive the unforgiveable. And he knew she held onto grudges. He’d seen her bitter and stubborn and petty. But none of that was visible behind Ladybug’s mask. She was only sunshine and smiles and infinite compassion.
How did she do it? Was it hard for Marinette, being Ladybug? Did she ever get tired of being her best self on command?
There were so many questions he didn’t know how to ask.
“—Noir?”
Adrien reared back a half-step when he realized that Ladybug was asking him a question. She smiled at his obvious confusion and repeated herself.
“I’ll take the victim home if you want to go back to cla—whatever it was you were doing.”
“Oh…um…okay…”
The journey back to school seemed to take longer than usual. His transformation gave way a few minutes after the battle ended and so he had to walk most of the distance. As he walked, he wondered more about Marinette.
He didn’t get in trouble for missing classes because he always told his teachers he’d been called away by his father. There had been an incident not long after Adrien started school when one teacher followed up on his absences with Nathalie and received a strongly worded email from the desk of Gabriel Agreste (dictated but not read) explaining exactly what the famous fashion designer thought of being asked to lower himself to such mundane affairs as signing excused dismissal notices. After that, no one wanted to risk another communique from Agreste Sr. So long as the school kept thinking he was working and his father kept thinking he was at school, Adrien was free to run around the city in as many skin-tight suits as he wished.
But Marinette’s situation was completely different. How did she do it? The teachers weren’t scared of her parents, and her parents weren’t totally disinterested in her school life, so how did she escape detection? Was she ever punished for performing her duties by well-meaning yet ignorant adults?
By the time he reached campus, Adrien had convinced himself that this was another thing he could do as a friend and partner to help Ladybug.
And, hopefully, to convince Marinette that he was worth keeping around.
His heart pounded as he slipped into the classroom. Ms Bustier acknowledged his return with a quirked brow and no further comment. Nino gave him a nod and that was it. Class continued as normal. Adrien waited for someone to ask where he’d been or where Marinette was, brainstorming as many different excuses as he could imagine, but no one ever asked. It was the last day of school before break. Ms Bustier assigned them an essay on ethics and dismissed them for the holidays three minutes early. Adrien remained in his seat as his classmates packed up and filed out, stunned.
Was that it? No questions? No comments? No concerns?
“Alya, would you make sure that Marinette gets the assignment?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ll do it!” Adrien snapped out of his funk and leapt to his feet before Alya could accept the crisp sheet of paper. Ms Bustier and Alya both stared at him, arms outstretched. Adrien realized he’d been slightly more forceful than was strictly necessary and flushed. “I mean…I was headed to the bakery anyway, so…um…”
Ms Bustier took pity on him even as Alya’s stare sharpened into a probing glare.
“Perfect. Thank you, Adrien. And please tell Marinette that she can email me if she has any questions.”
“Um…” Adrien glanced nervously at Alya. A lot of the excuses he’d come up with wouldn’t get past the Ladyblogger even if she was wearing a blindfold. “About Marinette, see, the reason she wasn’t in class was…”
But Bustier waved him off. “That’s quite alright, Adrien. I know all about it.”
“You do?” He asked weakly. Did everyone else already know? He wondered for one brief, irrational moment. Am I the only one looking like a chump?
“I’m very familiar with Marinette’s medical condition.” Bustier smiled. “But it’s wonderful to see that she has such kind friends to rely on.”
Oh…
Adrien relaxed. Of course Marinette already had a built in excuse. She’d been doing this a long time. Every bit as long as he had, as a matter of fact.
Guess she doesn’t need me for this either.
Alya insisted on accompanying Adrien to the bakery, much to his polite dismay.
“So…” She drawled as they walked. Adrien immediately suspected a trap. “Any big holiday plans?”
“Not really.” He shrugged. “Dad’s going to Hong Kong in a couple days, so it’s just me and Nathalie until January. And Nathalie gets really depressed this time of year, so we don’t do much.”
“She does? How can you tell?”
“She stops working.”
“Really? What else does she do?”
“Nothing. She sits at her desk and stares at the blank monitor. Sometimes I think she’s going to cry, but she never does. It’s deeply upsetting.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“I’ve tried, but you know how it is at my house.”
“Yeah…speaking of talking to people about things, when are you going to talk to Marinette about your obvious burning passion for her?”
Adrien knew it was a trap.
“Alya…”
“I’m not telling you what to do, I’m only saying that the 31st is a few weeks away so chop-chop.”
“I thought you had until the end of break in the pool?”
“Nino has by the end of break. I have before the end of the year.”
“How much money are we talking, anyway?”
“Chloe put five hundred on never. We all like the odds.”
“I dunno. Stats is one of Chloe’s better subjects.”
They were almost to the bakery when Alya stopped him with a firm hand.
“I’m not joking, Adrien. You need to talk to Marinette. If you don’t like her, fine. Tell her that and stop stringing her along. But I think you do like her. And Marinette won’t wait forever. So talk to her.” Alya glared at him until she was satisfied he’d received the message, then nodded brusquely. “See you later, Adrien.”
She left him on the bakery doorstep, face flushed and stomach in knots. The situation was difficult enough already, but the additional pressure from their friends was what left him feeling devastated. Everyone was so certain of how he felt, but how could they be when even he didn’t know how he felt?
He knew he didn’t feel good.
Unfortunately, there was nowhere to go but forward. Because his partner needed him to deliver her homework so she wouldn’t fail her classes. Adrien was happy to do whatever she needed from him…
But he wished that didn’t mean getting past her parents first.
Sabine greeted him with a warm smile as soon as he entered the bakery. He could hear Tom singing to the bread in the kitchen. Swallowing the bile that was rising up his throat, Adrien said hello to Sabine and asked if Marinette was home.
“No, I think she’s still at the school helping Ms Bustier pack up for the holidays.” Sabine told him cheerfully. “Would you like to wait for her upstairs?”
Adrien nodded and tried not to blush as Sabine let him into the apartment, a discomfortingly knowing twinkle in her eyes.
“Make yourself at home.” She told him. “We’ll be right downstairs if you need anything, but please help yourself to anything you like. You’re more than welcome here, Adrien.” She winked and shut the door, leaving Adrien standing in the living room with a maraschino complexion. Only after she was gone did he realize that she hadn’t asked him why he was looking for Marinette.
Ladybug had it all figured out, didn’t she?
Adrien heard a thump above his head and figured that was probably Marinette landing on her balcony. He made his way up the steps and went to knock on the trap door, only to hesitate. Should he should wait? Give her a chance to transform and collect herself in privacy? Should he leave the assignment on the kitchen table and get out while he still had his dignity? Now that he thought of it, he could have left the paper with Sabine. Or he could have let Alya bring it. What was he doing, oh god oh god, what was he even doing here—
The trap door swung open and Adrien, startled, leaned back. Unfortunately, he forgot he was on the stairs and he kept going backwards as Marinette appeared in the opening. Their eyes locked as he toppled down the steps, arms wheeling as he fell, and landed heavily on the living room floor in a painful heap.
“Ouch…”
“Gerroff me you lump!”
“Adrien!”
“Plagg!”
Before Adrien could move, Marinette had scrambled down the steps and was lifting him easily onto the couch. Tikki buzzed around them as Plagg lay on the ground and moaned pathetically. He wasn’t fooling anyone. They all knew it wasn’t physically possible for Adrien to squash his kwami, even if Plagg happened to be napping in Adrien’s pocket right before he face-planted on the very solid floor.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were there! Adrien? Are you okay?” Marinette’s soft hands pressed against his cheeks as he blinked up at her, too stupefied to respond. She knelt on the floor beside the couch, leaning over him. “Are you concussed?” Her fingers ran through his hair, checking for bumps.
Adrien winced and sat up. “I’m okay.” He told her. Her hands hovered uncertainly in the air between them. “Just, y’know, ow. But I’m fine.”
“Okay…good.” Marinette relaxed and smiled up at him. “Whatever happened to cats always landing on their feet?”
“He did.” Plagg muttered from his sprawl on the floor. “He landed on my feet.”
“Hush you.” Tikki rolled her eyes unsympathetically.
“So what’s up?” Marinette asked Adrien as she went to the kitchen and found some cookies for Tikki. Adrien watched her turn to the fridge and pull out a wheel of camembert.
How is she always so prepared?
“Oh…uh…I brought your homework.” He said as she returned to the living room. She put two plates on the floor for the kwamis before taking a seat on the other end of the couch. Adrien’s bag had rolled under the stairs when he fell. He retrieved it and handed Marinette her assignment. She glanced at it briefly before putting it aside and looking at him expectantly.
“Thanks.” She said. “Was that it?”
“Uh…how…how did it go with taking the victim home?”
“Oh, you know.” She shrugged. “Same as usual.”
“Right, right…” Adrien scratched the back of his neck nervously. He felt sweaty and lost. Why had he come here, again? She kept looking at him as if she was waiting for him to say something but he couldn’t remember what he had wanted to talk to her about in the first place. “Um…”
“Actually, I’m glad you’re here.” Marinette interrupted him, much to his relief and gratitude. “I wanted to talk to you about something…”
“You did?” Adrien was immediately more anxious. So far, Marinette hadn’t said anything about the future of their relationship (whatever that was or would be). But she had to be receiving the same teasing pressure from their friends and families that he was receiving. She probably wanted them off her back every bit as much as he wanted them off his. “What about?”
“You’ve been taking too many risks.”
It took Adrien a few seconds to realize she was talking about superhero stuff and not school stuff. When it finally clicked, his shoulders went back and his chin went out. “I disagree.”
“You’ve sacrificed yourself for me at least once during the last three akumas. It’s too much, Adrien. I’m worried you’re pushing yourself too hard.” Marinette frowned at him.
“I’m doing my job, same as you.” He said pointedly.
Her frown deepened. “Your job is to protect Paris, not me.”
“I disagree.” He repeated. “You’re the only one who can capture and purify akumas, so the best way I can protect Paris is by protecting you.”
“Okay, but I could have dodged the attack today.” Marinette argued. “You didn’t have to jump between us like that.”
Adrien shrugged, unable to explain that he had momentarily forgotten she was Ladybug, had only seen Marinette about to be blasted by a magic beam while her head was turned, and had acted on instinct.
He couldn’t tell her that, because she’d ask why he had more faith in Ladybug than in Marinette and he didn’t have an answer for that question.
“We can’t know what might have happened if I didn’t block the attack.” He said instead. “But I followed my gut and I’m not going to apologize for that.”
“I’m not asking you to apologize.” Marinette was beginning to sound frustrated. “I’m asking you to be a little more careful with your own safety and well-being.”
“Why? Because I’m Adrien Agreste? You never minded when I was just Chat Noir.”
Marinette flinched. He felt guilty, but not guilty enough to yield.
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“Do I?” He snapped, getting to his feet and striding towards the door. “Plagg, let’s go.”
“But I haven’t finished my—”
“Plagg.”
Marinette’s jaw dropped as he slammed the door shut behind him. Tikki slowly drifted through the air towards the door, then turned to stare at Marinette.
“What…what the hell was that…”
“I have no idea.” The tiny goddess sighed. “You should probably talk to him.”
“What do you think I’ve been trying to do?!”
***
Ladybug finally found Chat Noir sulking in the shadows of a church steeple shortly before midnight.
“There you are.” She snapped as she landed behind him. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you? What the hell is wrong with you, storming off in the middle of our conversation like that?”
Chat Noir refused to look up at her, opting instead to remain crouched on the roof, staring at the river down below. A light dusting of snow had fallen half an hour before and the roof was slippery. Ladybug chose her steps carefully as she made her way over and sat down beside him.
“Chat…” She said softly, her tone gentle and forgiving. “I care about you because you’re my partner, not because of who you are under the mask. I’m sorry if I made you feel otherwise.”
“…you didn’t.”
His voice was so soft she almost missed it.
“Then what’s wrong?”
Chat turned his face a little further away from her, and it was hard not to take that personally.
“It shouldn’t matter who we are.” He muttered. “It shouldn’t make any difference. But it does.”
Ladybug stared at the lights sparkling off the river until she was certain she could speak calmly. Talk to him, Tikki had said. But what would she do if talking to him led to everything falling apart?
“Do you regret learning my secret identity?”
“No.” Came the immediate reply.
“Do you regret me learning yours?”
“…I don’t know. Maybe.” He curled in on himself. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?” She whispered.
“For not being the person you needed me to be. I feel like I failed you. Like I should have known sooner or I should be doing more to help you. But…but you don’t really need me, do you?”
“Of course I need you.”
“You need Chat Noir—and that’s only if Rena Rouge or Carapace aren’t available. Even Chloe will do in a pinch. You don’t need me.” His voice was taut with misery. “I’m useless.”
Before she knew who was under the mask, Marinette had been flummoxed by Chat Noir’s occasional bouts of self-doubt and pity. Now she added such moments to a long list of the reasons she was no longer a fan of Gabriel Agreste.
Adrien wasn’t expecting to feel her warm arms wrap around his shoulders, but he didn’t shy away from her embrace either. Ladybug swallowed her partner in the biggest, tightest hug she could muster, cradling him on the edge of the roof.
“A good friend once told me that no one is useless.” She whispered in his ear. “And for the record, I definitely would have failed that physics test last week if not for you. You’re so important and so very needed, kitty. By me, by Nino, even by your father though I know he doesn’t show it. So please stop putting my friend in unnecessary danger, okay?”
Friend…
Chat turned slightly so that he could hug Ladybug back. His arms looped around her waist and he pulled her closer, so that they were entirely wrapped around each other. His forehead fell into the crook of her neck and she rested her chin against his hair. He could hear her heart pounding through her suit and he felt his own pulse race to catch up. She was incredibly solid in his arms, strong and secure, like an anchor keeping him tethered in a storm.
Chat wanted to tell her that he needed her too, but he couldn’t find the words so he held her instead. His flesh warmed the longer they embraced. She emanated body heat like a furnace, despite the frigid air. Embracing Ladybug was like embracing summer in the middle of winter.
Holding Marinette was like…a sip of water after being very thirsty for a long period of time. Like relief and rain and something so awesomely delicious it defied definition.
Being held in turn was…miraculous.
And the best part was, it was just the two of them. No fathers. No friends. No kwamis. Just Ladybug and Chat Noir, Adrien and Marinette, alone in the shadows where they belonged. He could have remained there forever, but the night was cold and the hour was late and eventually they started to cramp. He tried not to whimper when she withdrew her warmth, but she heard him anyway.
Ladybug gave Chat a wry smile and caressed his cheek with one warm, red hand before she left.
“Your dad’s going to Hong Kong soon, right?”
“Yeah.”
“If you want, you could come over to my place for dinner after he leaves?”
“…yeah. Yeah, I’d like that, thank you.”
“Okay. See you soon, Chat Noir.”
“Sweet dreams, milady.”
***
Gabriel summoned Adrien to his office on the morning of his departure. Adrien expected his father merely wanted to bid him farewell, but Gabriel had other things in store.
“Nathalie tells me you are planning to attend dinner at the home of a classmate this evening.”
“Yes, father.” Adrien gulped. “You’ve met the Dupain-Chengs before, remember? They were at the Fashion Week show.”
“Indeed. And their daughter, Marinette, is the classmate in question?”
“Yes, father.”
“I see. And what precisely is the nature of your relationship with this Marinette?”
Adrien wished very hard for a hole to open in the floor and swallow him.
“We’re friends.”
“Just friends?”
“Y-yes?”
“You don’t sound very certain.” Gabriel pushed his glasses up his nose and tented his fingers, leaning back in his desk chair. “Let me get to the point, Adrien. Are you involved in a physical relationship with this girl?”
“No!”
“But you are romantically involved?”
“No!”
“According to your teachers, you spend a tremendous amount of time with Miss Dupain-Cheng. Apparently you often assist her with a medical issue. Does that not speak to some deeper connection?”
This would be a good time for that hole to show up. Maybe there was a secret button he needed to press.
“N-no. We’re friends. Just friends.” Adrien forced himself to take a deep breath and offered what he hoped was an assuring nod.
“…I see. Because if you were dating Marinette, certain precautions would need to be taken.”
“We’re not dating.” Adrien said quickly. A puzzled frown crossed his features. “Uh…when you say precautions, you mean…?”
“Nothing overly invasive or burdensome. Standard procedures, for her and her parents obviously. A background check, a non-disclosure agreement, medical screening including blood and urinary analysis—”
“What?!”
“—but this is moot, since as you said, you are not involved, romantically or physically, with Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” Gabriel concluded as if Adrien had not interrupted and was not gaping at him with a slightly green expression. “I hope you will remember this conversation while I am in Hong Kong, Adrien. That is all.”
Adrien was dismissed. He shuffled out of the office in a stunned daze. The embarrassment hit him as he made his way up the stairs, but the anger didn’t hit until he reached his bedroom. As soon as his door was safely shut, Plagg came zooming out of his pocket with a wicked grin.
“Wow. Wow. What do you think Marinette’s gonna do when you finally ask her out and then you have to follow up with ‘can I have a urinary sample?’” The kwami sniggered as Adrien groaned and collapsed on his bed. “What’s this for Adrien?” Plagg sang in a falsetto that was apparently supposed to mimic Marinette’s voice. He clasped his paws over his chest and looked up with starry eyes. “Oh Marinette, will you make me the happiest cat alive…and pee in this cup?” Plagg burst out laughing at his own joke. Adrien chucked a pillow at him but it ineffectually passed through him.
Plagg took the hint and left Adrien to wallow, and boy could his chosen wallow when he wanted to. Plagg checked in every couple hours, but Adrien showed no sign of surfacing from his despondency even after Gabriel departed for his trip. Before he knew it, Plagg realized that it was almost time for dinner and he started to get worried.
“C’mon, kid. Time to get out of bed.”
“No.”
“Yes. Dinner is in an hour. You need to get dressed.”
“I’m not going.”
“What do you mean you’re not going? Of course you’re going. You told her you’d be there. You have to go.”
“I’m not going.”
“Kid…is this about what your dad said? So he was a jerk, so what, no big surprise there. It’s nothing to get worked up about.”
“If I go…her parents are going to pressure me to ask her out.”
Plagg was about to say this was ridiculous, but then he thought about it for a second.
“Yeah, probably.”
“I’d have to get them to consent to a background check too.”
“…yeah, probably.”
“Marinette’s dad is huge.”
“…yeah…”
“I’m pretty sure her mom could drop-kick my magic-suited-ass through a brick wall. No superpowers necessary.”
“…probably…”
“I’m not going.”
“What are you going to do then?” Plagg sighed. “Stand up Ladybug and embarrass Marinette in front of her parents? Doesn’t sound like a winning strategy.”
Before Adrien could respond, there was a knock on the door.
“Adrien?” Nathalie called through the door. “It is almost time for your appointment at the Dupain-Cheng residence. Are you prepared?”
“Uh…actually, I have a headache.” Adrien called back, his voice muffled by the pillows. There was a pause from the hallway and then Nathalie said:
“Very well. I shall inform the Dupain-Cheng’s that you are not feeling well and extend your regrets. Do you require any medication?”
“No, thanks. I’m just going to sleep it off I think.” He answered. He held his breath and waited, but there was no further reply. Nathalie was gone. Adrien relaxed and rolled over onto his back. He found Plagg glaring down reproachfully from the air above his head.
“What?”
“Coward.”
“Shut up.” Adrien hissed fiercely. “I’ll make it up to her.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I will!”
“Sure you will.”