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Ignis’s gaze was fixated on the rays of light peeking through gaps of the curtains closed. By the angle and the hue, he could tell the sun was near set—earlier than the usual, as the year drew to a close.
It was the only source of light, dimly scattered across Prompto’s white crumpled sheets, across his barren walls, across the wooden floor. The room was dark, cold, the only sounds coming from an old air conditioner and their slow breathing.
He had fallen asleep laid on Prompto’s lap, and it seemed his boyfriend followed him soon after. Slowly, Ignis raised his head, trying not to rouse him as he blinked away the dreariness in his eyes.
By the sun, he placed the time around four in the afternoon—meaning he had spent a full nine hours unconscious and incommunicado.
He outstretched a hand, scrambling for his phone on the bedside table, letting out a tiny breath of relief when his fingertips collided with the cold screen. He grasped it, switching the display on, blue hued light filling the almost completely dark room as he checked his notifications—surely someone would’ve noticed his absence—
There was none.
He felt both relief and a twinge of sadness that no one—not even Noctis or Gladio—cared enough to find out where he was. But—gritting his teeth, he quickly pushed the latter away. As he taught himself to, before it festered in his heart.
His face was scrunched as he returned his phone back on the table. Willing ease into his features, he forced out a breath; and along with it, his selfish guilt.
He wanted this, Ignis told himself. He wanted to be left alone. The responsibility and perfectionism expected of him had been perched on his shoulder for a decade and a half, taunting every failure, every wish he had for himself, telling him time and time again that love was only a distraction.
But…he was only human.
Ignis laid down again, a bit too quickly. Prompto’s blanket rustled as he settled himself back on the mattress, inhaling deep, heaving out the air forcefully. He pressed his hands over his face.
It was too quiet. Too dark. The thoughts he tried to extinguish would not go out—it felt like they were near bursting from their seams in his mind, trying to push against the void he’d trained to envision—
“Hey.”
Ignis looked back—he didn’t notice his stirring had roused Prompto from his sleep. He blinked his surprise away as he mumbled back a return. “My apologies.”
Prompto let out a yawn, outstretching an arm up above and resting it on Ignis’s shoulder. “What for?”
“I woke you, didn’t I?”
Prompto didn’t reply, seemingly sensing the turbulence Ignis was hiding inside. Ignis saw his expression change in the dim light; there was now a frown on his lips. “Hey,” he said again, concerned, sitting up to see Ignis clearly. “What’s wrong?”
Ignis couldn’t hide anything from him. Prompto always could tell when he was, even back before, when they were nothing more than friends. That knowledge, that understanding of each other—along with other things—was what led them to be something more.
“Nothing of importance,” Ignis muttered, even though he knew it wouldn’t stall him. “It’s unbecoming of me.”
“But it’s still bothering you, right?”
If it were anyone else in the world other than Prompto, he wouldn’t have answered with honesty. Yet, as fate would have it—it was him. They were together. And he stayed by him despite everything. Despite everything he’d learnt deep inside him, despite his selfishness.
“I…,” Ignis started, and cleared his throat. “It’s a selfish thought.” And he nearly waved it away again, but the look in Prompto’s eyes, the stress he was obviously causing him…he couldn’t worry him longer. “Sometimes,” he breathed, “I do wonder…if Noct truly needs me.”
“Hey.” Prompto had never let him go, and squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t say that.” He was now fully awake, and there was a small shine in his violet eyes. “You know he needs you, yeah? All of us do. He wouldn’t be here without having you by his side for all those years.”
Ignis pressed the heels of his palms hard on his eyelids. “But perhaps I hinder his true potential with my coddling—”
“Hey.” Prompto scooted closer, pulling Ignis’s hands from his face and holding them in his own. Their knees bumped, and he rubbed his thumb over Ignis’s callused skin; which was proof of his statement in its own right. “He needs you.” He brought the back of his rough hand to his lips and planted a soft kiss. “Gladio needs you. I need you.”
Ignis took a silent moment to take it all in. But—if they truly did, wouldn’t they be worried about his unprecedented absence? Especially on the last day of the year? His hand tensed, and he moved to pull it away from Prompto’s grip. “He’s better off—”
“Shh,” Prompto tapped a finger on his cheek, still holding onto his hand, now lacing his fingers in his. “No negative thinking right now.”
And, gods. Ignis loved him. He couldn’t help but rest his forehead on Prompto’s shoulder, breathing in his warmth and scent. Prompto ruffled through his tawny hair, massaging his neck, pressing kisses on his temple as he pulled him closer, falling back on the mattress.
Ignis found his cheek pressed against Prompto’s chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart, his arms wrapped around his shoulders. He was the only thing he felt in the darkness. It was nearly enough to make him forget.
As if he sensed it, Prompto pressed a quick kiss on the top of his head. “Don’t think about it. Let me take care of you for once,” he whispered. “I love you.”
Ignis felt the prickle of tears.
“I used to think that way about everything,” Prompto was saying, rubbing the slip of skin at the small of Ignis’s back. “That no one needed me. My parents, Noctis, Lunafreya…and even Gladio and you, y’know? That I’m just a burden.” His expression fell solemn, recalling those days in the past. “Sometimes, I still think that way.”
Ignis’s hug tightened. “You’re fully aware you aren’t.”
Prompto bit his lip. “Yeah, I know. Sometimes you can’t help those thoughts. Like you, right now.” He took in a slow, shaky breath, his hand on Ignis’s skin pulling away. “But…what really matters is the greater picture. Knowing that the hardships are worth something much more greater than me. Then it’s worth it.”
They were so similar—their motivations, their fates, both keeping everything deep buried inside. With every passing day, Ignis truly believed more and more that they were cut from the same cloth of the universe.
Their eyes met, barely visible in the dark. Prompto reached out to Ignis’s hair, brushing loose strands behind his ear. He nestled the back of his head against Prompto’s stomach, letting the soothing touch of his fingertips take over his senses.
A greater fate…he closed his eyes.
“What you’ve been through,” Ignis murmured minutes later, “was it worth it to you?”
There was only a beat before Prompto answered, a kiss accompanying it. “Yeah,” he said. “Everything was worth it. The pain, tears, hatred of myself—all of it. Pushing myself to get up every morning. Pretending everything was fine. And pushing down that fear of being a burden to go up to Noct that first time.” He caught his breath, deep and slow. “It all was worth it. If I hadn’t…I wouldn’t had become friends with all of you. I wouldn’t have met you. I wouldn’t have…fallen in love with you.”
The tears pooled in the corners of Ignis’s eyes, and down they fell, streaming to Prompto’s fingers. Prompto didn’t mention them, didn’t note that this was the first time he’s witnessing him cry, only leaning down and pressing a long, firm but loving kiss on his forehead instead.
“And—I don’t know where I’d be without you,” said Prompto once he parted, rubbing slow circles into the sensitive skin near Ignis’s brows. “You’re, like, my soulmate.”
Even with the pain in his heart, through the tears, Ignis couldn’t help but give a genuine smile.
“I love you,” Prompto kissed him again, trailing kisses down his forehead and down the bridge of his nose, lingering on the small bump before planting one on the tip. “I love you so much, Iggy.”
Ignis pressed his palm against Prompto’s cheek, his freckled skin a warm reminder that he was not alone in this cold room—this cold world. “I love you, too, Prompto,” he said, and brought his lips to meet his.
They shared another kiss, and another, until their lips are numb and the last sun of the year had set.