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He found her in the library.
Shouto had been searching for Yaoyorozu Momo for a while. Jirou had been the one to finally point him in the library's direction, and in hindsight, that should have been at least his fourth guess.
The place was considerably empty for a weekend, a few students using the desktops and browsing the shelves. Yaoyorozu, instead of in the chemistry or history aisles where he expected to find her, was in the fiction section. Dust motes fluttered around the black fan of her ponytail, her arms wrapped around a pile of books as she arranged them on a shelf. Her brow was furrowed as she mumbled something to herself. Relief flooded him at the familiar sight.
"Yaoyorozu," he said, voice low.
She jumped, eyes wide and hands fumbling as she almost dropped the stack of books in her arms.
"Todoroki-san?" Shouto tried not to focus too much on the smile that illumined her features at the sight of him. Her hand risked to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"I'll help," he said. "-with the books, that is," he added at the sight of her confusion.
"Ah," her eyes shot to the pile in her arms as if she had forgotten about them. "That would be very helpful, thank you!"
Wordlessly, he took most of the bulk, Yaoyorozu's sigh of relief breaking the small silence.
"I-I can't say I expected to see you here, Todoroki-san," her hushed words punctuated by the sound of cover sliding against cover as she resumed her work.
"I could say the same to you," he said, gesturing to the shelves around them. The books that lined them all seemed surprisingly...whimsical for the girl beside him. He flipped through one in his hands, titled The War of Love: Heartbreak.
"Ah! Well..." Her hands were free now to express her nervousness, scratching the back of her neck and smoothing her bangs as her cheeks flushed brightly. "Well, it's pretty embarrassing- and it's become a bit of a problem, actually- but," she cleared her throat, continuing in an even lower, insistent whisper. "Mina-san recommended a series of romance novels to me, and I have to admit, I haven't been able to put them down since!"
She took his silence as a bad sign, face growing even redder.
"I know it sounds ridiculous-not relevant to the hero course whatsoever, and they're admittedly very over-the-top- but I can't help but be enraptured by the story! I never thought of it this way before, but romance is almost scientific in nature! I mean, there is chemistry involved. And it's clear that the main characters really do love each other."
Shouto hadn't been judging her at all, but her insistence to justify herself betrayed how insecure she felt about it. He wondered if Yaoyorozu knew that she could do something less than perfectly and no one would think any less of her for it.
Well, he liked to believe that that was true. But the way she clung to her dignity so desperately even in times like this told a different story, of overbearing eyes watching every calculated move she made, clipboard and pen in hand.
"It's pretty silly, huh?"
He shrugged. "What's silly about it?" To him, her wide-eyed response to the depiction of a loving relationship was understandable. When it came to the subject of romance, he was at a total loss; the only exposure he had to it were the dramas and Western films Fuyumi had made him watch with her as a "bonding experience." Passionate kisses in the rain accompanied by swirling music. His sister's squeals as the flashing lights of the television reflected off her glasses as he stared blankly ahead. It all seemed too far removed from reality, to the point that it might as well have been filmed on another planet. But when it came to the true love and support of another person...he knew all too well how hard that was to come by. His head ached at the thought. "It's fine to enjoy stories like that every now and then. I think."
Yaoyorozu's surprise at his response was apparent, but was almost immediately replaced with a look of understanding. She had always been good at reading between the lines, even when he didn't intend for her to. Or was he just being ridiculously transparent after all that had happened? Even he could hear the somber timbre of his own words.
The flashing lights of the television.
His father, angrily shutting it off.
His father on the brink of death, a bloody hole for an eye.
"Your perspective..." He jumped despite himself at the sound of her voice. "It's very mature, Todoroki-san," she said, catching his eyes with intention, her own full of something indecipherable.
Then, she turned back to the shelf, immediately putting a misplaced book in its proper spot with an audible thunk.
"Well, since I have your blessing, I think I'll be taking these with me, then," she said, sending him a soft smile as she piled her arms high with novels. "Thank you for your encouragement. Now I can read them without any inhibitions!"
He studied her profile, pondering her words. It always caught him by surprise that they could relate to each other in this way. Sure, they were both recommended students from wealthy families. But for Yaoyorozu that came with training in etiquette and conversing, while the only words that had been demanded of him were "yes, sir" and "no, sir" and the seemingly never-ending count of his repetitive exercises and "I'll try harder."
Shoes placed by the door and socks walking on the tatami mat. Futon cushioning his aching back, the cool breeze of night caressing his burns.
The shōji sliding to reveal his father's horribly scarred face.
It wasn't lost on him how ironic it all was; such a traditional environment for a family that was anything but.
"Oh! I almost forgot that you came to me in the first place," she said, lightly bonking herself on the head and turning to face him completely. "Did you need something?" He felt his stomach somersault uncomfortably at the earnest look in her eyes.
"The tea." Yaoyorozu's gaze widened at his words. Shouto persevered, clearing his throat. "Thank you."
"Oh!" She inhaled, blinking rapidly. "It..it always calms my nerves, so... Sorry if it seemed presumptuous of me, but I figured...in your case it might be helpful. I actually considered genmaicha at first, since it has a low amount of caffeine because of the rice, but the catechins in gyokuro give it such a rich flavor without taking away its soothing quality, so..."
She trailed off, biting her lip.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure you already knew all of that anyway considering how often you drink it."
Nope.
"No, I didn't know any of that." Truth be told, he'd never been compelled to learn the complexities of green tea. He just enjoyed the simplicity of it, the consistency of its taste. How it calmed his nerves after a long day and soothed his throat. Rid his mouth of the lingering taste of ash and bile-"I just...like the taste."
"Oh, well that's good, too! I think the flavor should be the best part of any tea. Though sometimes the aroma can be just as good."
"Hmm."
Then,
"Imperial Black Tips has a nice smell," he added, suddenly feeling compelled to contribute more to their conversation. Oftentimes, he felt at a loss in conversations like this, ones about mundane, everyday topics. Thankfully, Yaoyorozu never seemed to mind his slow and less elaborate responses.
"It does, doesn't it!" Shouto jumped despite himself at her sudden excitement. Her hand flew to her mouth at her outburst, cheeks noticeably pinked. She cleared her throat and continued in a softer voice. "Sorry! But, I'm very glad you enjoyed it, Todoroki-san." Her smile grew and spilled into her quiet voice and bright eyes, peering into his. He felt heat wrap around both of his ears.
"Mm," was all he could manage, turning back to the bookshelves. Shouto decided he wasn't strong enough yet to maintain steady eye contact with an excited Yaoyorozu while having a heart-to-heart, even if it was just about tea.
"And you even remember the name!" she added, relentless. "Bakugou-san just called it that... 'fancy, schmancy crap,'" Her nose wrinkled as she said it, and Shouto couldn't help but grin at how strange the words sounded coming from her mouth. It had become easier to smile, somewhere along the way.
His eyes rolled. "Yeah, that sounds about right." Deciding that he was well-enough acquainted with Hearts in the Shadows' spine and that his ears had cooled down enough, he turned to face her again. "Bakugou probably knows what it's called, too. He's just too lazy to put in the effort."
Yaoyorozu giggled, her dark eyes becoming twinkling crescent moons. He felt lighter at the sound of it, Uraraka's face flashing in his mind-
"Todoroki-san?" she said, softly, hesitantly.
Shaking himself, he met her gaze. She tentatively shifted on her feet, running her fingers through her long bangs and securing them behind her ear with one hand, clutching her books to her chest with the other.
"I just..." Her fingers tapped against the hard cover of a volume in her arms. "I just wanted to say that I know you must be going through a hard time right now."
He couldn't stop a sharp intake of breath.
"What happened...I'm...I'm so sorry."
She spoke so quietly, as if her words would break him if they were any louder.
His throat ran dry. He swallowed thickly.
"I'm fine."
He didn't even believe that himself, and even if Yaoyorozu wasn't incredibly perceptive, he's sure she wouldn't have, either.
She sighed, her mouth turning into a thin line, her knuckles almost white from the strength of her grip.
"Todoroki-san, I just want you to know that I, and everyone else, we're here for you."
And he did know that. The entirety of class 1-A had been intent on reminding him of that fact, in an amalgamation of ways. Collectively, it was as if his classmates had decided that the subject was too touchy to broach openly. Pats on the back from Kirishima and grimaces without their usual bite from Bakugou. A cake that was a little bigger than everyone else's with an extra strawberry on top from Sato and a piercing nod from Tokoyami. A card from Uraraka. A clasped shoulder and solemn words of encouragement from Iida (the Stain incident had left him with an added layer of understanding). And Midoriya...his sympathy was almost excessively evident; that was how Shouto had always known him to be: sympathetic, a feeler, eyes wide and brows furrowed in indignation at the misfortune of another. Breaking his fingers one by one, all in the effort to make his feelings reach his own, somehow knowing that the stakes were higher than they appeared, and consequently deciding that even his limbs were expendable if it meant rescuing someone from their darkness.
But as far as Midoriya was willing to reach- as a hero, as a friend- he couldn't experience Shouto's feelings for himself, countless and anonymous emotions brawling within him in some violent dance, drawing blood as they tripped over each other's toes and pricked him in a constant reminder that he had no idea what to do with any of this.
His class...they were all trying their best to compensate for their own lack of knowing how to comfort someone who had never asked for it. (Did he even want to talk about it? Maybe he did?)
(Why had he screamed for someone that he hated so much?)
A box of tea from Yaoyorozu. Traditional, Japanese, and with a note attached. Shouto was slightly amused at the sight; true to form, she never did anything halfway.
Todoroki-san...may this give you a moment of peace and calm. I hope it is to your liking. (Make sure to let it steep for at least seven minutes.)
He could sense the slight trepidation of her written words. See the concern that had been etched in her eyes whenever she had looked his way over the past week.
"I-I know this might not be helpful. I'm aware that there's not much we can do. But...as I told you before, we're your friends. I, and anyone in our class I'm sure, we want to help you anyway we can. I know that whatever I say won't change much, or anything really, but...you should know that I want to help you, however I can."
This space between them, filled with the scent of old books and Yaoyorozu's soft voice and eyes and smile.
It felt..intimate. Warm.
Somehow, he felt like they were closer than they actually were, almost as if he could shift a finger and their hands would brush.
Yaoyorozu's cheeks grew red under the light. Oh, he had been staring at her. And well, to be honest, he didn't really know what to say, except-
"Thank you, Yaoyorozu."
Judging by the way her smile grew, that was all he needed to say.
He walked with her to the counter to check out her books. The librarian's eyes widened at the sight of the impressively tall stack.
Shouto carried half of them for her ("as thanks"), and they walked in a comfortable silence back to the dorms, that feeling of warmth lasting all the while.
"Thank you again, Todoroki-san," Yaoyorozu said as they reached her door, voice hushed even outside of the library's walls.
"Mm." He slid his half onto her stack. This time, their hands did brush, very briefly. "I hope you like the books."
She smiled softly, her eyes sharp and lingering. "I meant what I said, you know. Earlier, I mean. Whatever you need."
He inhaled. Exhaled.
"I know."
She nodded, and with the best wave she could manage with her arms piled high, excused herself, throwing a final smile over her shoulder as she did.
That night, he drank the tea to the very last drop.