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To my partner, on his thirty-fourth the fifth anniversary of his twenty-ninth birthday --
I can just picture you rolling your eyes in that ‘Potter’s such an idiot’ way of yours. I like that about you, you know - that even though it’s been years since we fought about anything more serious than whose turn it was to go interview Mr Giles about his missing crup, you’re still prickly when it comes to me. I don’t suppose that will ever change, and I promise you that I don’t want it to change.
But there is something I want you to know, and I figure that your birthday might as well be the day to tell you. Because if you can’t tell someone how you feel about them on their birthday, then when the hell can you?
I’ve never been that great with words, so I got Hermione to help me bear with me, but here goes.
A list of things that I like about you, Draco Malfoy, my partner and my friend.
2. The way you always keep your side of the office in that state of madness that only you know how to decipher. Organized chaos Hermione called it or whatever. It’s especially funny because your robes are always so pressed and perfect, and actually, so are your reports and even your lunch-bag is compartmentalized and just so. So your office is the one bit of chaos about you, and I really like that because I get to share it.
3. You always know when I need an extra cup of coffee, and you don’t even give me any grief about going to Starbucks to get it. I know Starbucks is a chain, and a Muggle chain at that, and I know it’s probably just because you really like that caramel mocha that I made you try the once, but I like that you a) gave it a shot in the first place and b) continue to let me foist my terrible taste in coffee on you.
4. The way when you’re working on a particularly complex problem, you chew on your thumb. I know you’re going to hate this, but it makes you seem so human, if that makes any sense. It’s like you’re really one of us instead of this lofty ideal of a person. Don’t get me wrong, though, you’re plenty lofty. I just like that you’re normal sometimes.
5. When we’re practicing dueling in the training room, you always make me do my best. You keep me on my toes and help me hone my instincts, and I really like that. I also know you’re never not going to ask me if I’m scared, and it makes me laugh. But I’m always going to say ‘You wish’. Just so you know that. We’ve got this history between us, and even though about ninety per cent of it is crap, it just makes us better partners. Our trust now is hard-won.
6. Your secret smile. You know which one I’m talking about, and don’t even pretend you don’t. I know you don’t want anyone to see it, and I love the fact that not only have I seen it, but you’ve given it to me, just me, a number of times. It makes you look, well, it makes you look really handsome. I sometimes wish you’d do it more, but somehow that wouldn’t be as special. I like that I earn it.
7. There’s this weird little stretching thing you do whenever we’ve been sitting on our fat arses for a long time going over paperwork. You sort of arch your back and twist, and every time I think you’re going to pull a muscle, but you never do. You’re graceful. And every time you do it, I want to go over and rub your back. I want to work out the tension for you because I hate that you even have tension, since it’s usually because of some bone-headed thing I’ve done. I want to run my fingers over the knobs of your spine and find all the little knots in your muscles and get rid of them for you. There’s actually a lot of things I want to rub on you.
8. The way when you’re especially tired, but you don’t want to admit it, you tell me how exhausted I look until I say we should call it an evening. It’s endearing that you don’t want to admit it. It’s even more endearing that you think I don’t notice you trying to manipulate me. I don’t mind that you manipulate me. Do you remember the time you Transfigured me a pillow for my desk when we were working on the McLaggen case? I still have that pillow. It’s my favourite pillow.
9. Your absolute insistence on always going in first. It’s like you forgot that I’m the idiot Gryffindor who charges in first. I take it to mean that you want to protect me, even though you’d never admit that aloud. When we first started as partners, I hated it. I thought you were trying to prove you were better than me or something. You are better than me. Fuck it, you are better than me, you know? You’ve become so much better than me, at being an Auror, at being brave, at being good. Thank you for looking out for me these last ten years. Thank you for everything.
I’m going to be done with my list now but honestly, I could probably go on and on for another five-hundred pages. Because there’s so much about you that I like. No, there’s so much about you that I love. I love you.
Fuck. Draco, I love you.
I know you’re probably going to think I’ve lost my damn mind, but I don’t care. I just wanted you to know. So happy birthday, and I love you. Feel free to do with this information whatever you want. I just really thought it was finally time I told you. I knew there was some Gryffindor boldness still left in me.
Yours,
Harry