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What was Thor doing on Earth?
“Son of Stark!” the very, very loud voice coming frown nowhere in that barren planet made Tony jump three feet in the air… literally considering he was still in the armor and by the look on the kid’s and Strange’s face… yeah, he was never living this down.
“Thor.” And yep, he was being hug-lifted from the floor because armor or not, Thor was a giant.
Tony blinked at him, “Uh… nice looks…?”
“Yes, I mourn my golden locks but Sweet Rabbit gave me a replacement eye.” He gave a wide motion to his feet where…
“Name is Rocket.”
“I am Groot.”
“Wow! A talking raccoon and a talking tree, this is awesome.” Peter was beside himself.
“What the fuck is a raccoon?!” Rocket complained, “Oh, hi, Peter!”
“Me?” the kid exclaimed.
“No, I’m Peter, wait you’re Peter too?” the ‘Missouri is on Earth?’ guy turned to Spidey.
Oh, secret id, right, “Oh, uh… no…?”
But Quill insisted, “You just asked, ‘me?’.”
“No! I just… I said… MIB.”
“MIB?”
“Yeah, like that old movie, Men in Black.”
“But no one here is wearing black.” Drax looked around in confusion.
Mantis gave a very loud and awkward laugh.
“I am Groot!”
Tony slowly looked around before his eyes landed on Stephen that looked equally without reaction, or at least, not knowing how to react.
Of all the people that could break the silence, Thor raised his big ass axe and bellowed, “Well, now! BRING ME THANOS!” and ran in a, for Tony, completely random direction.
This time it was Stephen that sought Tony’s eyes, “I’m fairly certain that we are doomed.”
Tony didn’t want to agree out loud and jinx them, usually he wasn’t a believer in black cats and broken mirrors but… he just talked to a raccoon… and a tree. He was halfway expecting to wake up in his lab or in the hospital to find that some glass containing a hallucinogenic chemical broke or something and all of this was just his very high mind.
Heh, would you look at that? They weren’t doomed.
When Strange did his thing with the Time Stone, he got a thinking expression when approaching their group and with zero warning, he knocked Quill out.
Much to Tony’s and Peter’s surprise but zero from Stephen, the rest of the Guardians didn’t react all that violently.
They tensed and their hands went to their weapons but the raccoon, Rocket, just looked up to them, “Not that I don’t want to do that at least three or four… or six times a day, but what was that?”
Stephen was carefully placing a simple sleeping spell on Quill and didn’t even looked at Rocket before answering, “Mr. Quill will react too emotionally.” And then Tony recognized the look of a doctor. Stephen was no longer Sorcerer Supreme or whatever; he was falling back on the training he received originally.
“Mr. Rocket, Mr. Groot, Ms. Mantis and Mr. Drax. I regret to inform, but your companion, Gamora, she is dead. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“W-what? Gamora? She is dead?” Rocket grabbed one of Groot’s arms.
And Tony and Peter were frozen still, trying as they could to give what respect and space they needed.
Strange didn’t add any more to it, letting them process the information.
“I express my condolences for the loss of your shield sister.” Thor’s voice was the lowest Tony ever heard.
“It was Thanos, wasn’t it?” Drax looked towards Strange.
“Yes. In order to acquire the Soul Stone, another had to be sacrificed.”
“Then nothing changed!” Drax drew himself to his full height, “We will kill Thanos and we will avenge not only my wife and daughter but Gamora as well!”
Rocket visibly swallowed before getting a gun from his back holster that was almost bigger than he was, “What he said.”
And that’s what they did.
Rocket and Groot’s attacks, while not making much damage, was distracting Thanos which gave opening for Tony, Drax and Stephen to properly weaken him and get him where they wanted. Mantis immobilized him and Thor’s Stormbreaker finished the job while Peter and Tony stopped Thanos from closing his fist and use the Gauntlet.
“For shit’s sake, Thor! Go for the head! Go for the head!” not that Tony didn’t appreciate some bantering with the villain but it was taking everything he had not to let this Giant Grape close his damn fist!
Thor had the gall to pout at him before raising his axe.
On their way back to Earth, Tony did a double take at the floating Towers-like ships…
“Well… more aerodynamic than doughnuts… I think.”
“Boss?”
“Fri!” so they were already close enough to SI’s satellites, “I’m sorry for worrying you before but no time for that now. Where are we most needed?”
“Uh… currently? Wakanda, technically.”
“What do you mean, “technically”?”
“The main ship never left New York’s… sky.”
“… show me what’s happening in Wakanda.”
“… do you wish for me to hack their satellites?”
“… whatever, I will apologize later, now we need to decide where to land.”
And his HUD now showed… uh, “Those… aren’t Chitauri.” They looked more like Alien had a kid with some of those animals from Avatar.
“How do you know about the Chitauri?” Nebula, Gamora’s sister, asked, her completely black eyes zeroing on Tony.
“Met then a few years ago, exploded their mother ship… and all that.”
“That’s how Thanos knew you.” she muttered.
When she showed up in Titan, she joined Groot, Rocket and Tony, Stephen and Drax in distracting and hitting Thanos for Thor to finish the job, once news of Gamora’s death were out, however, she just stopped, like the fight left her.
“What?”
“You’re the one that thwarted his invasion six Earth cycles ago. The armored one.”
“… sure, let’s go with that.”
The silence stretched for a few seconds as Tony decided whether to go to Wakanda and face that army or try for the Chitauri-logic and blow the mother ship to see if the minions would fall too.
“… when did you say Quill was going to wake up again?” Rocket turned to Strange.
“In a couple more hours, I may have underestimated Thor’s axe so I presumed the fight would last longer.”
“My axe is truly a masterpiece!” Thor boasted from his seat.
“Ok! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before but in my defense I’m not used to having this option. Strange, can you see if those things,” he motioned to the nearest screen where Wakandans were fighting those aliens, “behave in the same way the Chitauri did? Or even, Nebula, do you know if we destroy the mother ship the minions will just… drop too?”
“That’s not what the Stone should be used for.”
“The Outriders are sister species with the Chitauri. The Chitauri, however, are a proper race, that due to being more technological than biological are killed when their mother ship is destroyed. It’s like destroying the control room of a LMD. The Outriders on the other hand are mass of pure biological tempering. They are not born, they are made and upon completion, they receive one order: destroy all enemies, usually from Clovus Glaive but killing Glaive won’t stop them.”
Tony sighed, “What will?”
Nebula tilted her head, “A new, psych command should suffice.”
“A what now?”
“Unlike the Chitauri who gladly served Thanos, the Outriders have no free will, they serve until they die, or are executed in case they survive the battle. They are a lot stronger physically while the Chitauri rely on high tech weapons with their gear blocking mental attacks but the Outriders’ minds are weak. If the order is to kill one another, they will obey and their body decomposes very fast, just a little something that Thanos wanted added to avoid cleanup. A telepath is the best bet.”
Stephen exchanged a look with Tony.
“I don’t really have time or inclination to try and convince Maximoff of this.” Stephen deadpanned, crossing his arms.
The billionaire shrugged, “The other option is Charles Xavier.”
“Mutants, even the benevolent ones like Dr. Xavier, are known to only get involved if Mutants are involved.”
“A favor for a favor? People usually like to have me owing them a favor.”
“Maybe.”
Nebula confirmed that the telepathic order had to come from the mother ship still hovering above New York, so Charles, escorted by a very grumpy looking Wolverine, was taken right below the ship before doing his thing.
Tony tried and failed to see a way to get the ship elsewhere in a timely manner, aware that Wakanda was still under attack so… he was hovering in the air with Strange and Thor and the Milano because he learned his lesson back in DC while the Legionnaires, dusty and outdated – Tony cringed at that – were ready with Friday in command.
Charles gave the command for it to shut down and the giant ship began to fall.
Tony charged the repulsors, “Everybody, fire!”
While Tony, the Legionnaires, Thor and the Milano fired, Strange took care of the falling debris with Spidey's help. Tony could see from the corner of his eyes that Logan was getting Charles away.
They all landed to a cheering crowd.
If Steve Rogers and co were indignant that Tony, Stephen, Thor and the Guardians got all the glory… well… the destruction that they tried to prevent was in Wakanda and the Nigerian president had quite the glint in his eyes when asking for proof. Since Wakanda seemed so certain that they required no help and didn’t need to offer help until it fitted their timeline…
Most of Africa was radiating smugness.