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Disclaimer: I own no rights to Hawaii Five-0 or any of its characters. This is simply a work of fan fiction and no infringement is intended.
Another Wednesday night and once again the citizens of Hawaii had no idea that Five-0 had saved them from yet another near catastrophe. Sitting at their usual table outside Kamekona’s shrimp truck, the team ate their traditional case-closed meal of beer and garlic shrimp. Wanting a break from the emotional turmoil and stress of the last few days, the often raucous, but good-natured debate centered on who would win a game of one-on-one, Danny or Steve. Sure Steve was taller, which gave him a natural advantage on the basketball court, but he was also inexperienced. The one game he had played against a lifer at Halawa over six years earlier was proof enough of that. Danny, on the other hand, had grown up playing pick-up basketball on the playgrounds of New Jersey where, due to his size, he had become an expert at shooting three-pointers from the outside and throwing a well-placed elbow when playing down low.
“Put your money where your mouth is,” Danny told Steve, to the delight of the rest of the team. “There’s a public playground with an outdoor court two blocks from here.”
“And what are we supposed to use for a ball? Huh, Danny? Our imagination?”
Danny smirked at Steve’s sarcastic comment. He could tell his partner was back peddling as fast as he could, trying to find a way out of actually playing Danny one-on-one. There was nothing Steve hated worse than losing, and they both knew beating Danny at basketball wouldn’t be the slam dunk Steve claimed it would be. Ugh. He apologized to himself for the mental pun.
Nahele, who had stayed to listen to the argument after delivering Kono’s second order of shrimp, was quick to chime in. “My friend Jack lives right near there. I’ll text him and have him meet us at the courts with a ball. In fact, chances are he and a few of his buddies are already there playing a pick-up game anyway.”
“There, you see? It’s tonight or never, Super SEAL, time to put up or shut up.”
“What are the stakes?” Steve asked, apparently resigned to the fact that he would have to actually play a good game instead of just talking one.
No doubt there would be plenty of side bets between the other members of the team, and Danny had every intention of there being a very personal wager between him and Steve, but they could hammer that out in private on the drive over, so for now he came up with something they could actually tell the others. “If you lose, I get to drive my own car for a month.”
“A month!?”
“What? Scared you’re going to lose, big-talker?”
“Not going to happen, Danno. A month it is, and when I win, you can’t comment on my driving for that same period and that includes non-verbal comments like hand waving and clinched fists.”
“You realize when someone is in fear for his life, the fight or flight response kicks in and certain reflexive behaviors can’t be controlled.”
“Well then, you better learn to control that response, hadn’t you?”
“Only if I lose, babe, only if I lose.”
Steve turned and swung his legs over the bench seat so he was still sitting next to Danny, but with his back to the table. He leaned over and gave Danny a quick kiss before pulling back with a smile. “Get ready to be humiliated, buddy.” Danny just rolled his eyes as Steve stood up and started striding towards the car.
“Schmuck.”
Danny looked at the group that included, Kono, Chin, Lou, Jerry, and Nahele. “Our gym bags are in the trunk of the car. We’ll get changed and meet you guys at the playground in 20 minutes. I assume you’re coming to watch, right?” Not waiting for their responses, he stood and turned to the teen, “Nahele, did you hear back from your friend?”
“Yeah, they’re already there. He said you and Steve could use their ball and the court when you get there.”
“Great, kid. Thanks.” As he started walking towards the car to catch up with Steve, Danny failed to notice when all his friends pulled out their phones and started texting everyone they knew about the impromptu game.
By the time they arrived at the playground after changing into gym clothes in the public restrooms near Kamekona’s, most of their ohana was already there, with more people pulling up right behind them. Kono, Chin, Lou, Jerry, Nahele, and somehow Abby and Adam, had all beaten them there. As Danny and Steve stepped out of the Camaro, Lou’s wife, Renee, pulled up with Will, Grace and Grace’s friend, Haley. The three teenagers were supposed to be working on a joint school project at the Grovers’ house that evening. They were followed by Kamekona and Flipper. Who the hell was watching the shrimp trunk? Not far behind were Duke and Noelani. Danny groaned. This was turning into a spectacle.
The crowd walked across the playground towards the basketball court where Nahele’s friends were finishing up a game of three-on-three, shirts versus skins. As they approached, one of the shirts, a tall lanky kid Danny assumed was Nahele’s friend, Jack, yelled out, “Give us a minute, two more points and we win.”
As they watched, Jack drained a jumper over the head of one of the skins, pumping his fist when it went through the hoop.
After watching the action for a few minutes, Danny turned to Steve. “Take your shirt off. You’re skins.”
“No way. You take your shirt off. You can be skins.” Danny knew Steve was just being contrary because everyone knew the man had no compunction whatsoever about stripping his shirt off every chance he got.
“The last time I took my shirt off in public, I lost my favorite Hugo Boss when you used it to wrap up that house-destroying mutt you found. It’s your turn, so take your shirt off,” Danny insisted.
“Hey, guys, why don’t you both take your shirts off?” Kono encouraged. Danny thought he heard sounds of agreement from Abby and Renee, and did Noelani just wolf-whistle?
“Or you can both leave your shirts on. How about that?” Lou suggested. “You’re playing one-on-one. I think you can remember who is on whose team.” Lou let out a yelp when Renee punched him in the arm.
Steve looked at Danny accusingly. “You just wanted me to take off my shirt.”
“What can I say, babe? You, sweaty and shirtless, are a sight to behold.” Agreement and more cat-calls came from the crowd. Adam really needed to have a talk with Kono about her apparent obsession with seeing their bare chests.
At that point, Chin stepped to the front of the group and gave a short, shrill tweet on a whistle. Where the hell had he gotten a whistle? “Okay guys, I’ll referee. Here are the rules. Half-court ball, of course, first one to 21 wins.”
“Twenty-one?” Danny exclaimed. “We’re not teenagers here, Chin. Are you trying to give us heart attacks?”
“Okay, first one to 13 then, but you have to win by two points. Shots made from inside the arc are one point; those made from outside the arc are two points. For the tip-off, I’ll throw the ball off the rim of the basket and whoever gets the rebound goes on offense first.”
Danny looked at Steve for assent, before they both voiced their agreement with the rules.
“Alright, good. Now I know it’s probably too much to ask, but I want a clean game. Let’s try not to make any trips to the emergency room tonight, okay?”
Just then, Nahele ran up and handed Chin a basketball. “The court’s free.”
With that, the three walked onto the court. Danny and Steve stood at half court as Chin threw the ball and hit the rim. The ball caromed back towards half court. Danny beat Steve to the rebound, dribbled once, took one step back and let the ball fly before Steve even got into position. Two points. Cheers went up from the crowd and more bets were undoubtedly made.
Danny went up 4-0, after stealing the ball from Steve and draining another long range shot. The game got intense after that. Steve was not going to go down to defeat easily and by the time he tied it up at 7-all they were both sweating worse than Michael Jordan in his prime. Predictably, Steve was the first to take off his shirt. From the cheer that went up from the crowd, you’d think he’d just made a slam dunk worthy of a SportsCenter highlight reel.
The game continued and when Danny made a layup to take a 9-8 lead, Chin called time out. Steve and Danny both immediately bent over with their hands on their knees trying to catch their breaths. Grace ran out with two bottles of water.
“You’re doing great, Danno. You too, Uncle Steve. Try not to kill each other though, okay?”
Danny took the bottle Grace was holding in front of his face and when he looked up to thank her he spotted the crowd. My god, there had to be close to 40 people there. “Grace, where did all these people come from?”
“Mostly, kids from school. My friend Haley is live-streaming the game. Did you know that half the girls on my soccer team have a crush on you and the other half have a crush on Uncle Steve?”
“Really?” Steve preened.
“Really. It’s pretty embarrassing actually and tonight is only going to make it worse. It won’t be just the soccer team anymore; it will probably be half the kids in my school.”
“That’s ridiculous. We’re old enough to be their fathers.”
Steve choked on his water when Danny’s absurd statement made him laugh.
“Obviously, dad.” The sarcasm was evident in both her tone and in the accompanying eye-roll. Before Danny could think of an appropriate come-back, Grace wished them both good luck and ran off the court.
Danny chugged down half the bottle of water and then poured the rest over his face and neck. When it was empty, he threw the bottle off the court, knowing someone would pick it up and put it in the trash. He sighed because he knew his next action would garner some inappropriate comments, but it was damn hot out and his shirt was plastered to him. He reached down for the hem, pulled the t-shirt off over his head, wiped his face with it, and then tossed it in the same direction as the water bottle.
The oohs and aahs, followed by cheers from the ever growing group of spectators were almost enough to make him to put his sweat-soaked shirt back on. Kono’s call of, “Yes, skin versus skin, this is my kind of game,” didn’t help much either.
“Looks like you’ve got an appreciative audience there, buddy,” Steve laughed. “Can’t say I blame them, really.”
“Shut up and get ready to go down.”
“Really? In front of all these people? How did I not know you were into public sex?”
“You know what I meant, you putz. Get ready to lose.”
And lose Steve did. It was close, and exhausting, but in the end, Danny won 17-15. One month. One whole month of getting to drive his own car, of not having to worry that Steve would kill them both with his reckless driving. One month of getting to lord it over Steve that he, Danny Williams, was in fact the better athlete. They both knew it wasn’t true, but he’d won fair-and-square, so he’d get to boast about it nonetheless. Steve, being Steve, would undoubtedly try to goad him into rematch, but Danny wouldn’t bite. He was retiring from basketball and going out a winner. Victory was sweet.
Just as they were leaving the court, Grace ran up to meet them. “Congratulations, Dad. Good game, Uncle Steve.”
“Hey, Monkey. How about your old man, huh? I wiped the court with Super SEAL over there.”
“Hey, you had an unfair advantage,” Steve complained. “I never played basketball growing up like you did.”
“I had an unfair advantage? You’re 8 inches taller than me, plus I have a bum knee. Talk about an unfair advantage."
“You both played really well,” Grace, who was used to their bickering, said with an appeasing tone. “But I may have to change my name and switch schools.”
“What? Why?”
“You and Uncle Steve are all over social media. You’re actually trending. Do you know how many kids have texted me to say how hot my dad and his boyfriend are? Not to mention all the ones who actually showed up here in person. It’s so embarrassing. Seriously, Dad, you and Uncle Steve are forbidden from taking your shirts off in public ever again.”
“Shut your mouth, sista,” Kono chided as she walked up. She gave Danny a congratulatory fist bump before turning to Grace. “Are you trying to put an end to Shirtless Wednesdays or something?”
Danny groaned. Not this again. Steve just threw an arm over his shoulders and grinned. Danny ignored him. “Kono, would you stop with that Shirtless Wednesdays nonsense. It’s just a coincidence.”
“What’s Shirtless Wednesdays?” Grace asked making Danny groan.
“It’s a new Five-0 tradition where every Wednesday Steve or your dad, or now both of them apparently, take their shirt off in public. I’ve got to say, I’m a big fan of Shirtless Wednesdays.”
“Kono,” Danny said menacingly. The last thing he wanted was Kono going all pretend fangirl in front of his teenage daughter.
“Shirtless Wednesdays? How am I just now hearing about this?” Abby asked as she and Renee walked up. “Congratulations Danny. The game was certainly worth the price of admission. Yummy.”
“Definitely,” Renee agreed. “But, I can’t believe Lou didn’t tell me about the team’s Shirtless Wednesdays tradition. Is that why I’m never invited to your team dinners at Kamekona's?” she asked.
“It is not a tradition,” Danny insisted. “It has happened three times. It’s just a coincidence that it's been three Wednesdays in a row, but it won’t happen again. Believe me.”
“Oh my god,” Grace cried as she saw Haley and a group of girls standing nearby, giggling and snapping pictures with their phones. “You realize that if you were trending before, now there are going to be whole Instagram accounts dedicated to Shirtless Wednesdays. Teenage girls are going to be following you around trying to snap half-naked photos of you. I’ll never be able to show my face in school again.”
“Look on the bright side, Grace,” Kono told her. “This could make you the most popular kid in school. I say embrace it. Invite your whole class over to the house for a beach party. That way they can ogle your dad and Uncle Steve to their hearts’ content. I’ll even volunteer to help chaperone." She looked at Danny and Steve and winked.
“Hey, maybe someone will do a Shirtless Wednesdays calendar featuring Five-0.” Steve chimed in. “It would be a nice way to bookend your career in law enforcement, Danny. I could hang it up next to your page in the Newark P.D. calendar your sister, Stella, sent me.”
"Oh, we are definitely, doing a calendar," Kono said to the accompanying nods of the other women in the group, except Grace, of course. She just looked mortified.
Even though Danny knew Steve and Kono were just having fun at his expense, he took the bait. He couldn’t help it. Not only was he embarrassed, but his daughter was too.
“Okay, that’s it,” Danny barked. “I don't want to hear another word about Shirtless Wednesdays or pin-up calendars or anything related to either of those things ever again. You hear me, Kono? And, someone get us some shirts. Right. This. Minute. On second thought, forget the shirts, we're leaving.”
He grabbed Steve by the arm and started pulling him towards the Camaro, ignoring the group of laughing women and giggling girls behind them. As soon as he settled behind the wheel, with Steve pouting in the passenger seat next to him, his mood instantly improved. He’d won the game and he got to drive his own car for a whole month. Plus, later that night Steve would have to pay up on their private wager. Besides, while he would never admit it out loud, the admiration that had been directed at him, as well as Steve, hadn’t done his ego any harm. Yep, all in all, it had been a pretty good night.
“You know, babe, nothing says we can’t take a few photos and create our own private calendar. Just don't let Kono get her hands on it.”
Steve turned to look at him so fast it was a wonder he didn’t get whiplash. “Really?”
At Danny’s nod, Steve's pout immediately became a gleeful grin. “Hot damn.”
Yep, it had been a pretty good night.
The end.