Chapter Text
Everything's all right, just hold on tight.
—
It's a rainy Saturday afternoon and Jim is currently sprawled across the mattress. He's on his stomach, his face buried in between the dark silk bed sheets. He loves the way the silk feels against his body, and the whole room — it screams Freddie. Every colour, every trinket, every smell, it's a striking personal description of the rockstar and Jim is convinced he will never be able to get enough of it.
This morning, when Freddie left to go to the studio, Jim didn't say a word about his mood being off. Today is one of those days where his mind is fuzzy and it's hard work to get out and about.
He's felt this way many times before. It started way back, maybe around age fourteen?
He doesn't think it's anything for Fred to worry about, he's already got enough on his mind being in the process of making an album. So, he's set the alarm for twenty minutes before he's due back, secretly hoping that today is not one of the days when the band wraps things up ahead of schedule.
He had been hoping that days like this were behind him, ever since he met Freddie — his outlook on life has been so much more positive. Living with a man who's number one goal is to make sure that his partner is feeling love and support every day has its perks.
He doesn't want him to think it's anything he caused, and he doesn't want him to think that it's anything he can fix either. He's usually only engulfed in it for around a day or two anyway and then he's back to his normal and giddy self.
He hates feeling this way because he knows he shouldn't. He's also conflicted because he doesn't want Freddie to feel self- conscious in terms of their relationship, it really has nothing to do with that. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
He's not quite sure what the cause is, but he does know that he's become quite dissatisfied with himself lately, not knowing what to say or do — always second-guessing his actions.
—
About thirty minutes later he's woken up from his light sleep by something other than his alarm. He feels fingers running through his hair and as he stirs awake he hears a sigh and feels the weight shift closer to him on the mattress. He curses silently, his eyes shut tightly.
Of course, this has to be the day the band finishes early.
"Hello, my darling." He hears Freddie speaks softly.
Initially, Jim thinks that he'll be able to play off that he's ill and that could be the end of it. But he knows himself and he's always been a terrible liar. So after some contemplation, he decides to give in and come clean.
"You're home early?" is all he can get out before he yawns quite loudly. Freddie giggles for a split second but instantly he catches himself and snaps back into being the caring husband that he is.
"We finished up sooner than expected. I also missed you." With that Freddie moves to lie down next to him. He's close enough that Jim can feel his light breathing tickle his face and close enough to notice that the other man looks so incredibly tired and worn out.
"Are you feeling alright?" He almost whispers, running the back of his hand along the side of Jim's face.
When he finally flutters his eyes open he's met by Freddie's beautiful but concerned glare. He decides again at that moment that it's not fair to keep hiding these days from the man he loves so immensely.