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Gou stared at herself in the mirror, pinching the sides of her body and sighing when flesh stretched into her hands. She was pale, too pale, because the winter had been harsh and she hadn’t dared step outside, and now, because of all the sukiyaki she’d been eating, she’d gained more weight.
She didn't use the scales often, because it was tedious to watch the red pin waver slightly to the left some days and slightly to the right on others. There was no reliability, so it didn't bother her… until she tore the back of her dress when leaning over the desk to pass Chigusa the colored pencils.
The sound was so loud and so awful she was certain the whole school had heard it, and though there was only one soft giggle from the back, it was enough. She’d kept her composure and walked out of the classroom, but she ran to the toilets with burning cheeks and water in her eyes.
She’d made it home after the final bell had rung. Chigusa had come to her with a borrowed gym shirt which fitted Gou loosely, and she’d felt better for a little while. But she passed on dinner, and didn’t respond when Rin clenched his teeth and poured his plate of rice and vegetables onto hers, before grabbing another helping. The sickly-looking glazed mackerel lay buried beneath the white mountain. With a wobbling smile, she said she was feeling too sick to eat, and excused herself. Even her mother hadn’t protested; she'd noticed Gou’s puffy eyes.
A thumping on the door made her glance up.
“What?” she called.
"You dumbass, will you quit worrying about your weight?!" Her brother’s brash voice overtook the wood separating them.
"I told you," she protested, "I’m just feeling sick!"
"Bullshit." He pounded harder on the door, until she sighed, pulled her shirt back on, and opened it. He was standing, centered, arms folded and a deep scowl on his features. "I know what it’s like to worry about your weight — I’ve gotta do it now and then, for my team. But you… you look great anyway, you idiot."
"My shirt tore in school today," she said quietly.
"Did someone laugh at you?!" Rin snarled. "Did someone laugh?! I’ll find them and hurt them for even thinking about it —"
"Onii-chan, it’s fine. I’m going to do my homework now, okay? I want to be alone."
"Fine. But I’m going to bring you some dinner — damn, I’ll even make it healthy, so you don’t have to worry about calories and all that — and you’d better eat it all."
Gou didn’t answer, but turned away and closed the door. She waited until Rin’s footsteps vanished, and sat on the pale pink covers. There was a tap-tap-tap on her door, a lighter hand than her brother’s, and she recognized the familiar sound. She had to thank her girlfriend for her shirt, even though she was in no mood to speak with anyone, so she opened the door.
"Gou! Hi, how are you? How is everything?" Chigusa whirled into the room with a burst of energy unusual for her personality. Just the sight of her sent a plume of calm through Gou; brown hair curled into a high bun, a large yellow t-shirt, and tiny shorts they both loved because they made her legs look great. A pair of sandals welcomed the new spring, and, hang on a minute —
"Hana-chan!" she protested. "Please… it’s Kou. We’ve been over this a thousand times."
"I know," she said, winking, before pulling Gou to bed and sitting down beside her. "I just want you to think about something else for a minute."
"So, you… you use the name I hate?" Gou rolled her eyes.
"Okay, okay, so that wasn’t the best idea, but look! You’re sitting here with me, and you’re half-smiling… oh, oh is that a bigger smile! Yes it is! Kou, you look super cute when you smile." Chigusa’s own lips had curled upwards, and she pressed a quick kiss to Gou’s cheek. "But then you always look cute enough to kiss!"
Gou giggled, and took Chigusa’s hand. They sat for a minute, and Gou’s eyes wandered around her room as a wave of shyness took her, until her eyes rested on the mirror, and her smile slid from her lips.
"Kou?" Chigusa followed her line of sight and met the mirror. "Come on, I thought I cheered you up. You’re thinking too much, you know!"
"It wouldn’t be so bad but… I think I’m heavier than Nitori, and Onii-chan can barely lift Nitori. I’m so heavy that even Onii-chan won’t be able to lift me up."
Chigusa stood, and pulled Gou to her feet. She took two steps back, and charged at her girlfriend, a low bellow leaving her chest. Startled, Gou didn’t realize she was sitting in Chigusa’s arms, her girlfriend carrying her forward. She wasn’t straining to breathe, but comfortably held Gou’s soft, warm body against her own, strong arms supporting Gou’s back and bare legs. Chigusa walked around the room, and Gou laughed.
"What were you saying?" said Chigusa, smirking. "I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over how cute my girlfriend is!"
"Stop it," mumbled Gou, and she leaned into Chigusa and kissed her. Chigusa’s knees wobbled, and she almost dropped the girl she carried. But she kissed her in return, lips warm and delicious.
"Now that’s just cheating," said Chigusa. Returning to the bed, she placed Gou down, and climbed on top of her, holding her in place with the grid of her body. "So, your brother can’t lift you up, right?"
"But you can."
"Yes… Want to see something else I can do?"
Gou’s cheeks were warm, and she nodded. Chigusa grinned, and kissed Gou again. When those lips were on hers, she couldn’t think about anything but the dizzying rush that pumped through her heart. That was fine; thinking about Chigusa was much more fun than thinking about anything else.