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Magnus woke up early. Unfortunately, that wasn’t rare anymore. He hadn’t been sleeping well after everything that had happened, from meeting his father, after having sworn to never speak to him again, losing his powers, seeing Alec nearly die at the hands of his parabatai, to losing Clary. Even now, with Alec okay, in his arms, not even a scar left from that night, and having found Clary alive, if not well, connected to her brother as she is, Magnus could not sleep through the night.
It was barely dawn when he woke, and despite his restless night, he felt the urge to get up. It was as if the knowledge that his time was limited had relieved him of the ability to relax. His mind kept reminding him that very second he lay here in bed, was a moment he would never be able to get back. He could be doing so many things to make the moment count. Yesterday he had gone to the farmer’s market and he had made breakfast for Alec, he had found a way to still be useful to the man. Logically, he knew that Alec would never break up with him over something like losing his magic, but Magnus couldn’t quite quiet that voice in his head, telling him how much of a burden he was becoming.
Magnus could venture out to the farmer’s market again, maybe this time he could buy enough oranges to make a proper glass. He could whip up breakfast for Alec before he had to leave for the institute. Alec had to take the subway now, so he had to leave almost a full hour earlier that he had to when Magnus could portal him to work with a flick of his wrist. Magnus felt guilty for that as well, the hours Alec had to spend on public transportation every day. Maybe, he thought, he should consider moving, getting a place for them in Manhattan, so Alec would be closer to the institute, it wasn’t like he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn anymore, there was nothing tying him to the borough.
Magnus could do any number of things right now to be productive. The morning was warm enough he could practice yoga out on the balcony, keep himself in shape, after all, he would be aging again and he didn’t want to give Alec any more reasons to leave him.
Alec rolled over in his arms and Magnus worried that his boyfriend would sense his internal dilemma and wake. The last thing Magnus wanted to do right now was to wake Alec. With everything going on at the institute following Lilith’s defeat and Clary’s supposed death, Alec hadn’t had time to rest. Even when he was being healed by Catarina, he was trying to read reports. Magnus knew he hadn’t helped yesterday, waking Alec early, then dragging him around the city until late, seeing things Magnus had wanted to see. If Alec was allowing himself to rest, this time, Magnus wouldn’t disturb him.
As Magnus was about to attempt to disentangle himself from Alec’s grasp to get up, he remembered what Alec had told him the night before, about enjoying the moment as he was in it, rather than chasing the next one. And honestly? How could a moment doing any of the things he had been contemplating be better than this? Holding Alec in his arms, watching him rest, the worry lines gone from his face, his eyes, which had often become cold and firm with the pressures of his job, now serene, and Magnus knew if they were open, they’d be the warm hazel he was familiar with.
So Magnus stayed. It was a couple more hours before Alec woke, and while Magnus never returned to sleep, he could relax, soothed by the repetitive movement of running his fingers through Alec’s wild bedhead. It lured him into a trance-like state, he didn’t even notice when Alec woke up, so he was startled out of his thoughts by Alec’s sleep-rough voice.
“You stayed.” He said, gazing up at Magnus, eyes even warmer than Magnus had imagined them to be, then even softer, he added, “Thank you.”
Alec tried sit up but Magnus stopped him, “It’s only 6:30, you don’t have to be up for another half hour, right?”
“Yes,” Alec replied as he settled back down.
“Then stay.” Magnus said, pulling Alec even closer to Magnus, something Alec hadn’t thought possible. “We can cuddle.”
“Ugh, finally.” Alec grumbled from beside Magnus, faux annoyance coloring his tone, “You know how much I hate waking up alone.” Magnus laughed, but went back to running his fingers through Alec’s hair.
“I know.” Magnus said, before quietly adding, “Pup.”