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“President, Vice-President,” Fujioka Haruhi, Position: Secretary, begins nonchalantly. “Are you dating each other?”
The reaction is instantaneous.
Shinomiya Kaguya grows beet red, choking on the abnormally long sip of tea she had been taking. And Shirogane Miyuki, who had been turning a page in the school news, finds himself with a fistful of crumpled news, aquamarines bulging as he choked on nothing. That reaction by itself is just so obvious suspicious, Haruhi does not even want to comment on it. With quietly judging chocolatey brown eyes, she gazes at them blankly.
“F-Fujioka-san,” Shinomiya Kaguya coughs roughly. “E-Even for a joke, that is far too much—”
Ignoring the flush of her face, the aversion of her eyes, and the trickle of sweat on her head.
“T-That’s right.” Shirogane Miyuki agrees readily. “It hasn’t even been a day since our meeting. To suddenly ask such personal questions is just—”
Ignoring the flush of his face, the stutter in his voice, and the attempt at diverting the topic.
Looking at the both of them, even a fool could tell that the both of them are together. No wonder there are so many rumours about the two students standing at the top of Oxford University. Having heard the version about the pristine Princess and overachieving Prince courting each other without having once said a line of ‘I love you’, and then some embellished b*llshit of star-crossed lovers forced to stay within their skin whilst being in close proximity (and then more), Fujioka Haruhi really does not know what to believe. But all she does know is this:
“There is no need to hide it from me.” Haruhi places the stack of documents on the President’s desk. “We are all going to be working closely from now on. We might as well iron things out on our first day.” She smiles.
What Fujioka Haruhi means is this: ‘Let’s all air our dirty laundry out. Then, I won’t have to third-wheel your relationship, and you can spend your time together in privacy.’
However, what the two Shuchiin graduates heard is this: ‘I will help you get together with him/her. Let’s work together!’
Shinomiya is at a loss over how astonished she felt. After years of hardship suffering an uncoorperative secretary who sought to impede her at all corners, finally! Finally, someone was on her side…?! (Hayasaka: What am I? Chop liver?) ‘Fujioka, you’re unexpectedly more of an angel than I expected! You’re my new sworn sister from today onwards!’
Shirogane, likewise, heard the same thing. ‘Fujioka…! You’re more of a man than I thought you’d be!’ (#Note: Fujioka Haruhi is a ♀) ‘But… But! If I were to accept your help at this conjunction, Shinomiya would realize—!’
“F-Fujioka,” Shirogane steps out. “Do you even know what you are saying?”
He smirks, raising a hand to comb back his bangs.
“How could you even suggest that a commoner like myself is dating a high-class lady like Shinomiya? Take back your words!” He demands. Inside, said commoner thought: ‘Come on, Shinomiya! Deny it. Use this opportunity to praise me, and then side with Fujioka on the topic of my strengths and get together with me!’
What he was thinking of was this: If Fujioka meant ‘his’ message to the both of them, then he would definitely know of what is inside Shinomiya’s heart. That is, the classic cliché, where the maiden encounters the knight at his weakest and draws support from the side characters to confess her love!
However, how could he have known? Shinomiya had already long since saw through his plan.
‘If I were to do the typical and argue against President, it would make it seem as if I like him, wouldn’t it?’ No matter how much Shinomiya has to resist the urge to confess, no matter how much Shinomiya’s innerchild wanted to burst out into a squealing fit over how brilliant all of Shirogane’s strengths are, she has to grit them down.
“Indeed, it is as the President said.” Shinomiya harrumphs, smiling daintily. “A family of background as fine as my own… it would be a surprise if I was ever allowed to date the President.”
A flip of the situation!
Behind Shinomiya’s on the surface disparaging comment, what she meant was this: President, there is no way a young lady of my upbringing is allowed to lower herself to confess her love. There’s no way I can ever accept the risk of ruining our current relationship for more! So, please… Take the first step here!
Shirogane, reading her intentions, is immediately disgruntled.
…! What should I do? If I were to take the first step here and accept Fujioka’s help, I would be admitting my defeat in this war of love. That said! If I don’t take his hand… Shinomiya, what is that look you’re giving me? His heart quivered. Shirogane gulps, sweating under her piteous yet mournful smile. I’m begging you! Please don’t look at me with those eyes!
But how could he have known? Shinomiya, faced with his abrupt silence, is currently anxiously worrying over his response!
Why? Why isn’t he protesting? Don’t tell me. The President really believes he isn’t worthy of me? Him? The Student President of Oxford? Shinomiya is in a panic. If the President truly thinks that way, her words would have been nothing more than a last nail in the coffin. The President would not attempt to court her ever again. Naturally, that cannot be allowed to happen. Think. There must be a method. A way to get us out of this situation!
Instantly, the gears in her head race.
In this battlefield of tough love, the two prodigies’ deep thoughts were broken by a single voice.
“That is unexpectedly a surprise,” Fujioka Haruhi sweatdrops, eyes wide. “For President and Vice-President to have such a bad relationship… As I thought, I take back my words.” She smiles. “There’s no way you are in love with each other!”
“What did you say? We are in love with each other!” Placed under immense pressure, the first thought that enters their mind infiltrates the terse silence in unison.
Crash and burn.
Shirogane and Shinomiya stone at once.
Fujioka Haruhi, on her part, is not in the least stunned.
“Is…that so…?” Fujioka Haruhi cocks her head. She smiles slowly, a smile so gentle Suoh Tamaki would shed tears of blood for not having seen it. “In that case, may you two have a happy life together!”
The two geniuses are frozen solid, wide eyes directed at each other.
So stunned are they by each other’s confession, neither raises a hand in that overused cliche ‘“Wait, Fujioka, it’s a misunderstanding-!” and BANG, the door slams’ to stop the secretary from leaving.
Stepping out of the room, Fujioka Haruhi, Position: Secretary, heaves an exasperated sigh and drops her shoulders, pulling out a keychained phone.
“And that’s all done.” She huffs, self-satisfied.
The Secretary’s first duty of the year: To tie up lose ends and report to the past Secretary to cement the two lovebirds’ relationship as couple. It would appear the dubious skill repertoire learnt from her time in Ouran Highschool Host Club has not gone to waste after all. Her reason for putting Shinomiya Kaguya and Shirogane Miyuki together?
They would be a pain in the a*s otherwise.
Fujioka Haruhi blocked her face as a strong gust of wind blew the spring leaves in her direction. She smiles.
“What nice weather.”
Result of Today’s Battle: Fujioka's Win.