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Nolan doesn't know why he decides to go on social media after the loss to the Habs. He usually doesn't. He knows he needs to ignore it and stay out of his own head, but tonight he went and looked anyway.
It started off with him simply scrolling through Twitter. He read some people's commentary about the game. Some of it was harsh, but nothing he hasn't heard before.
Eventually he got to a part of his feed where everyone was talking about something Carter had said. He clicked on the clip out of curiosity and also mild dread that his teammate had said something embarrassing.
The video started playing. It was apparently a section of his post game interview from that night. Nolan turned up the volume and adjusted his posture from his slouched position on the couch.
It starts right after someone asks Carter a question. And Carter looks... kind of pissed off? Which is very unlike him after a loss. Usually he looks more sad, like he feels he let the team down, even though they always reassure him it isn't his fault.
On screen Carter began to speak.
"Have they said that we're automatically out? Have they said that?"he paused while some interviewers shook their heads "Then exactly."
And god if it wasn't the fucking sassiest response Nolan had heard come out of someone else's mouth.
He plays the clip again and feels something grow inside his gut, almost like admiration but more.
Maybe it's because it's almost 1a.m. and he's delirious from being awake so long, but he finds himself getting up, shoving his shoes and a jacket on, heading downstairs, and walking to Carter's apartment.
It's not far from his own - just down the street a little ways - so he doesn't have time to ponder what the hell he's doing going to Carter's place in the early morning until he's pushing the button to be buzzed in. There's no response so he does it again and...
Okay maybe I should've thought this through. he thinks, but before Nolan can turn away Carter's voice comes through the speaker on the keypad.
"Hello?" Carter asks, obviously confused.
"It's Nolan, let me in." He says gruffly.
The door unlocks and he heads to the elevator. Nolan clicks the number and starts going up several floors to where Carter's place is. He lives in an upper level where the apartments have larger square footage.
Nolan gets off the elevator when the doors open and starts to wonder why the fuck he just walked to Carter Hart's apartment at - he checks his phone - 1:19 a.m. He's not going to turn back now though, so Nolan knocks on his teammate’s door and waits for it to open.
It’s only a moment before he hears the door unlock and is face to face with a sleepy and angry Carter who gestures for Nolan to come inside, before closing and locking the door behind them.
“What could you possibly need at one-thirty in the morning so bad that you couldn’t just text me?” Carter asks grumpily. He had clearly just woke up if his disheveled hair and bloated cheeks were anything to go by.
And part of Nolan wants to deadpan “Actually it’s one-twenty in the morning”, but that gets lost with the overwhelming feeling in his gut again.
And maybe it’s because Carter is acting like he was in the video, or because he looks incredibly comfortable. Maybe it’s because he actually let Nolan inside when they should both be asleep, and they’re standing in close proximity (on either side of the entryway), but whatever the reason Nolan realizes he really wants to kiss Carter.
"Oh." is all Nolan’s mind supplies for a moment.
Then he starts to spiral.
And honestly- it kinda makes sense.
Nolan never really had any serious relationships before. Not just because he was still young, but because he was just always busy. Hockey has always taken up most of his time so he never really had a meaningful relationship with anyone. He rationalizes that that’s the reason he didn’t recognize what this feeling was for so long.
The feeling he felt when he rooted for the Buffalo Sabres growing up because he was proud of his uncle being their coach, that was admiration.
The feeling he gets when Giroux nets a killer goal, that is admiration.
The feeling he felt when he hung up a Tyler Ennis poster in his room, constantly watched his highlights, and begged for a signed jersey at his birthday… He now realizes that probably wasn’t just admiration, but a little bit of attraction.
Holy shit, was Tyler Ennis my first celebrity crush? he wonders.
Nolan always wondered why he felt so awkward on dates with girls. His answers were always short and to the point- he never knew what to talk about.
But before he can fall deeper down the rabbit hole, he’s snapped out of his thoughts by an irritated “Dude.”.
And suddenly Nolan realizes he’s been staring at Carter for the last sixty seconds while having a very real sexuality crisis.
You’d think that playing hockey would teach Nolan how much of a difference sixty seconds can make, but this was just… A lot.
It would be a lot under normal circumstances, but the fact that Carter is right in front of him doesn’t help any.
Nolan can’t help but notice that Carter looks really domestic in his oversized t-shirt and sweatpants with a lethargic look on his face. Maybe that’s why instead of saying something like any sane person would do, he steps forward.
At this point he's in Carter's space and they lock eyes for a moment. The feeling in Nolan's stomach triples in size and he leans in and kisses him.
It's impulsive. Nolan knows this, and he has to brace himself with a hand on the wall next to Carter's head.
Nolan hadn't kissed another man before. He never thought he wanted to. But what he's feeling right now… He wondered what would've happened if he never realized he had wanted this.
Carter's lips are plush and warm and-
Fuckfuckfuck is all that flashes in Nolan's mind because you can't just fucking kiss someone especially not your teammate who just so happens to be a guy.
He's shaking with the gravity of what he's just done, but before he can pull back, he feels a hand comb through his hair. A hand is on his neck holding him in place, then Carter is kissing him back.
Nolan feels like he is on fire.
He moves his hand from the wall to Carter’s cheek and strokes his jawline because he wants more, but doesn’t know if Carter does. He's so gentle. So afraid the moment will shatter like glass.
Carter hesitantly opens his mouth, allowing entrance.
Nolan follows the tempo he set by going slow and tentatively kissing him deeper. Carter’s mouth is hot and wet and knocks the air right out of Nolan’s lungs.
He pulls apart for a moment because he needs to catch his breath. Nolan risks opening his eyes and he sees Carter staring back at him. Carter's eyes are blown wide, his lips pink, and a flush is present on his cheeks. He looks debauched and it makes Nolan's blood rush.
He kisses him again. This time it's with more fervor and intensity. He bites at Carter's lower lip causing him to whimper softly. God- Nolan wants to hear that noise again.
Carter tugs Nolan's waist closer and Nolan easily complies. He experimentally rolls his hips against his teammate's who lets out a soft moan in return.
He reaches down to the hem of Carter's sweats and rubs his thumb along his v-line. He shudders and involuntarily thrusts forward and leaned his head back eliciting another whimper in the process.
Nolan takes this moment to kiss his neck and suck on a pressure point just above the collar of Carter's t-shirt. It is enough to leave a mark and he's so close to Carter he can feel his teammate’s dick twitch in his pants.
Fuck. Nolan thinks, because he's never been this turned on in his life.
He wants to go all the way. He doesn't really know what to do though, and it's probably not the best idea to realize you're gay and sleep with someone in the same night. Nolan wants it anyway.
He doesn't get to ask though, because down the hallway they hear a door open.
And Nolan must be a damn fool, because Carter doesn't live alone- Oskar lives here too.
They jump apart.
“So yeah, I thought that play was pretty good. The screen on the other goalie was- Oh, hey Oskar!” Carter says.
His voice is scratchy (from kissing) and he sounds nervous. Nolan doesn't know how he pulled that one off.
“Hi Carter- Nolan?” he asks as he is walking to the kitchen.
“Hi.” Nolan respondes. How eloquent.
“Just getting some water.” Oskar explains.
They patiently wait for Oskar to get his drink and pad back to his room, listening for the door to close.
“Fuck.” they both say at the same time.
Carter is blushing and Nolan can’t help but find him incredibly soft despite what they were just doing a few moments ago. He leans in and kisses his forehead, resting his own where his lips were. Their noses rub against one another.
Nolan feels his chest tighten.
“I should go.” Nolan whispers.
“Yeah.” Carter agrees.
They’re both smiling like idiots.
“Okay.” Nolan says, leaning in and giving him one last kiss before he turns around and heads out the door.
Nolan feels like he’s floating the entire walk home.
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Carter (1:46 a.m.): next time you want to kiss me,
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