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The disaster begins with Uraraka. Uraraka, and her deceptive saleswoman smile, and Iida, don’t worry, I just want our friends to find love! He should never have believed her - never have trusted her for a second, but he did in the spirit of Romance and Youth, and oh, he has regrets.
Now, Tenya has no quarrel with romance. It is the springtime of his classmates young lives, and he would not begrudge them the pitfall known as love. Although the new couples in class are rather… demonstrative, he is to them a proud parent watching his children fly the nest. But actually, he’s not, because romance - romance is doing terrible, unspeakable things to Class 1A.
Once, Class 1A was a shining example for all of Yuuei - the pinnacle of applied and academic success. Now no longer, for with this new distraction of teenage romance, the collective GPA of Class 1A has plummeted. Yaoyorozu, once the top of their class, now sits sheepishly in third place, with Jirou lagging far, far behind. Midoriya and Todoroki have dropped at least ten ranks each, and Ashido and Sero have fallen to the bottom of the class. Mineta sits at a literal zero - a complete marvel - and Kaminari is barely better. The only one who’s improved is Kirishima, because Bakugou refuses to date an idiot. He’s beginning to wonder if this was Uraraka’s plan all along - she’s sitting pretty at class rank two. All in all, this is a travesty, and as the Class Representative, Iida Tenya refuses to let this stand. The honour and pride of Class 1A lies at stake.
Because in the last general examination, Class 1A placed behind Class 1B.
Normally, this would not be a problem. Tenya respects and admires the students of Class 1B for their diligence and most excellent drive to be heroes. He harbours absolutely no ill will against them as a whole. But Monoma Neito keeps jumping out of shadows, lockers, and equally incongruous hiding spaces to mock Class 1A’s defeat, and this - this is intolerable. Once, he even jumped through a window on the fourth floor just to laugh in Tenya’s face, and that was a declaration of War.
Which leads him to now - trying to convince eight hormonal teenagers to fight for the glory of Class 1A.
He wides them up into an empty classroom, surveying the state of his classmates. By some small measure of miracles, every one of Uraraka’s victims agree to come. It was fairly easy to convince Midoriya and Todoroki to show up, but now they’re completely lost in each other’s eyes - this may be a loss. Mineta hasn’t taken off his headset, which was expected, but at least Kaminari looks like he’s grateful to have a moment of girlfriend-less peace. Sero and Ashido are still flirting, which is a problem , but on the other hand, Yaoyorozu is diligently listening and is preparing to take notes with Jirou. Thank god someone is taking this seriously.
“Now!” Tenya’s pulled out all the stops for this presentation. He made a powerpoint, graphs, and everything. “If you have not noticed, Class 1A’s grades have dramatically fallen.” He points to a descriptive chart and adjusts his glasses. “Yaoyorozu! You have fallen two ranks behind your last examination scores!”
Yaoyorozu eyes grow wide, then she folds and sobs into her hands. “I haven’t had scores this low since I was an illiterate infant!” Tenya presses on.
“Jirou! You are testing seven ranks behind your usual grades, and Todoroki! Midoriya! The two of you have fallen to below the class average!” Jirou huffs a sigh, and Todoroki and Midoriya actually stop petting each other to wince. This is promising.
“Sero and Ashido!” He continues, “Your scores have fallen to the bottom of the class!” The two droop into sad frowns.
“Lastly - Mineta and Kaminari … you are half a percent away from actually failing high school.” He tries to sound encouraging, but really - this is depressing. Mineta continues his VR experience, but thankfully Kaminari seems stricken. Good. If his flock fails out of school, Tenya will revolt.
“As you can see from this chart, we have fallen behind Class 1B in general academics.” The room collectively sighs. “But do not despair! I have taken great pains to develop a plan to remedy this terrible defeat!” He switches to the next slide, smacking the image of a graph of ‘Productivity vs. Romantic Activity‘. It is a depressingly negative curve. “After a period of research, I have deduced the cause of this failure - romantic entanglements!” He drops into a bow. “For the sake of our Class’ pride, everyone please break up!”
Silence reigns. Midoriya drops his notebook, and Ashido might actually begin to cry. Okay, that’s about the reception he expected. Adjusting his glasses and clearing his throat with a cough, Iida scraps Plan A and goes for Plan B.
“- However! If you would like to stay together, then I propose mandatory weekly study sessions for academic improvement. I, Iida Tenya, will guide you back onto the path of academic excellence.” There are a few noises of assent. Mineta still hasn’t moved, but Tenya is taking that as a tentative yes. He ends the presentation with a picture of All-Might, then crosses his arms in what he hopes looks like stern reprimand. “Now! Are there any questions?”
Eight hands immediately rise. Tenya sighs and settles himself in for a long, hard battle.
Tenya is walking to class on a pleasant, uneventful day, when Monoma Neito rolls out of a wall vent. He doesn’t scream , but he may have made a noise of righteous alarm. Perfectly justified.
Monoma cackles at his distress, “Well, if it isn’t the Class President of the Illustrious 1A!” He continues his roll, bending in a painful looking backwards somersault. “Or - should I say, the once-illustrious. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!” He devolves into a manic laugh, and Tenya tries not to twitch.
“Monoma,” He grits, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Monoma twirls in another giggle, and how is someone this bendy ? Normal people just don’t fit in air vents! And can he just fold himself into a knot and never bother Tenya again? “The pleasure is all mine, Class 1A!” He chirps. “And do I have to want something? What if I just like looking at your pretty face?”
Tenya scowls. “Don’t be absurd - why are you here?”
His eyes light up in a crazed grin. “Oh, not much - I just wanted to see your look of despair when you realize your utter inadequacy. Class 1A is really losing their edge.”
Tenya prays for patience. And strength. And for a bolt of lightning to smite Monoma dead.
After a beat, Monoma is disappointingly still alive, but Tenya is calm enough to eke out a reply. “Enjoy your victory while it lasts, Monoma,” he grits through his teeth. “Class 1A may have lost the battle, but we will be the ones to win the war.”
“I dare you to try,” Monoma leers, “But don’t try too hard - I wouldn’t want precious Class 1A to strain themselves.”
Tenya twitches. “I will relish your defeat.”
“And I, Iida-kun, will relish your failed efforts!” He blows a kiss, and no - it’s not cute, it’s horrible .
“Begone!”
Like an exorcized demon, Monoma cackles one last laugh and rolls back into the vent from whence he came.
Tenya gains a sudden irresistible urge to punch a wall. He settles for running forty laps around the track field instead. Sweaty, and a shade of righteously infuriated, he calls for the supplementary lesson group to reconvene.
His class will not be defeated.
Rehabilitating his classmates’ romance-addled minds will not be easy, but Tenya has a masterful Plan. He’s created individual study packets for every member of his study class, tailored for their unique learning styles. Midoriya’s has All-Might stickers, Mineta’s has tasteful pornography. Tenya’s innocence may never recover, but he will do what he must for Class 1A’s honour. (This has nothing at all to do with wiping that smug grin off Monoma’s face. Tenya never thinks about Monoma’s face - what are you talking about?)
Yaoyorozu is the easiest starting point - she is already highly intelligent and will need the least help in catching up on their courses. Midoriya and Todoroki are largely the same, but he has yet to find a way to make them stop touching each other long enough to look at a workbook. It is very frustrating. Jirou is a bit more difficult, but Iida has made audio recordings of every lecture, and it seems like they might be working.
At least, it did, until Jirou edited them into a mixtape. Now they’re just clips of Present Mic rapping. Very, very badly. And now Yaoyorozu and Ashido are completely distracted, and Tenya doesn’t even have the time to bring them back to task because Kaminari’s fallen asleep and Sero is trying to escape through the window.
Teaching is very hard.
He manages to herd his wayward students back into some semblance of a classroom environment, with no small amount of bribes and promises of candy. His classmates are actually four years old. He’s tempted to give them a seating arrangement or something, because how is Midoriya supposed to study when he’s sitting on Todoroki’s lap?
“It’s comfortable here,” Midoriya murmurs, curling up to Todoroki’s neck. Todoroki blushes, leans down, and no - please - stop - this is a classroom environment -
“Iida-kun?” Ashido holds out her notebook, frowning. “Is this book right? It says I need to practice all these English words, but I don’t know any of them.”
Tenya adjusts his glasses. “This is the new vocabulary from the past two weeks - you’ll need to learn them, and also -”
“Iida!” Kaminari jolts back to life, staring at his lesson plan in horror. “There are so many kinds of math! Why are there so many maths?!”
“Actually, it’s just one math, and it’s really quite straightforward if you -”
“Iida!!” He bites back a scream of frustration as Mineta flops himself over his desk. “These pictures are pretty good, but I think I’d study better if you had some shots of -”
“- Mineta, please - this is more than enough. All you need to do is memorize the words in the pictures -”
“Iida!” Is this how Aizawa-sensei feels every single day? No wonder he always looks half dead. Sero waves his workbook with urgency, and Iida readies to hear his complaint. “I don’t remember any of this history stuff - did we actually learn this?”
“Yes, actually - this was from yesterday, and -”
“Iida!” This time it's Yaoyorozu. “Come listen to Jirou’s mix! She got Present Mic to rhyme ‘anaconda’ with ‘yellow Honda’, and it’s really quite fascinating!” Before he can protest, the rap is blasted at full volume, and now his entire classroom is distracted. Midoriya is leaning in to listen, worksheet abandoned, Todoroki is still steaming slightly on his left side, Jirou continues to incite chaos, and this - this is -
“Enough!” Tenya roars. The rap switches off, and the silence is deafening. Everyone in the room stares, eyes wide.
“I -” He coughs, adjusting his glasses. “Please. Cease the music and continue your studies.”
Still wide-eyed and wary, they return to their workbooks, and Tenya is comforted by the blessed sound of industrious work. Until about three seconds later, when the room echoes with another loud chorus of “Iida, help!”
Tenya despairs.
“Oh Iiiiida-kuuun~”
Tenya tenses as an inhuman chill creeps up his spine. He was alone in the hallway, walking back from class, but suddenly, he’s on guard. This foreboding aura… this supernatural irritation… It could only be -
“Monoma.” He means to sound irritated or angry, but it comes out slightly tired. “What now?”
And there he comes, bounding out of the shadows like the nightmare he is. As if he senses Tenya’s weakness, Monoma closes in. “Nothing, nothing! I just wanted to ask how those supplementary lessons were going.” He curls into a leer, “I'd hate to see you waste all your efforts - that would be tragic .”
“My lessons are going fine .” Tenya grits, baring his teeth. “You may need some yourself once Class 1A takes its rightful place at the top.”
“Iida-kun!” Monoma purrs, “Are you offering me private tutoring? How forward of you!” He’s been inching closer and closer with every word, until he’s nearly pinning Tenya to the wall. This insufferable -!
“- I. Will not. Be giving you anything. ” Tenya hisses, sliding out from under his grip. But Monoma must have stolen someone’s flexibility quirk, because he somehow manages to whirl them back around, caging Tenya in.
“Oh, but Iida-kun, I want everything,” his voice is breathy and teasing, dripping with glee. Tenya is dying to kick him in his arrogant, prett- putrid face. Recipro style.
He manages to wrangle Monoma off in a series of pushes and angry grabs - really, who made him so bendy? - until he’s finally alone in his personal space. Brushing off his shirt - he’s not blushing, he’s not - he fixes Monoma with a scowl. “By the next examination, you will have nothing, Class 1B.”
Monoma smirks. “Same to you, Class 1A.” He melts into the darkness like a particularly annoying ghost and now the real fight begins.
He marches back to the classroom to reassemble the Romantically Delinquent - they have a lot of work ahead of them.
“I think I get this question! So basically, you-”
Tenya smacks Kaminari on the head with a satisfying chop. “Do not disseminate false information! Kaminari, all your answers are completely wrong - try again!” Kaminari whines and begins erasing. Beside him, Sero frowns at a formula.
“Is this really math?” He asks. “Why are there so many letters? What happened to numbers? I’m pretty sure math is supposed to have numbers.”
“Numbers died, along with my patience.” Tenya pinches his brow and leans in to explain basic algebra for the third time . By the time he stands back up, Mineta has somehow managed to stick himself to a window, and Ashido is folding her notes into tiny paper cranes. He leaves them alone for one second, and then this.
The only student who has been slightly successful is Yaoyorozu. Yaoyorozu has blessedly caught up to class material in record time and would make an excellent second teacher - if only Jirou weren't a constant distraction. This time, Jirou’s made Aizawa-sensei’s history lecture a love ballad. It warbles softly from her speakers, Aizawa-sensei’s voice remixed to a sultry croon. Admittedly, it is quite good, but it is also a terrible distraction , and how is anyone supposed to study when Jirou and Yaoyorozu are slow-dancing on the desks?
He doesn’t even have the time to deal with that problem, because his students who are actually studying are incredibly behind, and teaching literature, mathematics, English, and history all at once is a Sisyphean task.
The rest of the room fares no better. Midoriya and Todoroki are ostensibly studying English, but Midoriya is sprawled on Todoroki’s lap and Tenya is almost entirely certain they’re just flirting. A lot. He tries to comfort himself with the knowledge that at least they are speaking in the correct language and it will improve their vocabulary. Yaoyorozu and Jirou are still dancing, twirling across the tables with impressive speed. Yaoyorozu giggles when Jirou sweeps her into a dip, and it’s very sweet and highly impressive, they are both excellent dancers -
- but now is not the time for dancing and games! They are at war, and Iida absolutely refuses to lose to Monoma Neito. He manages to wrangle Mineta off the glass and into a desk, but in the time he was gone Sero has abandoned his work and has begun shooting lines of tape up at the ceiling. Ashido powerslides on a desk when love-ballad-Aizawa hits a high note, and Kaminari is starting to twitch from all his pent-up energy.
He hates to admit it, but this… this really isn’t working. He can only teach so many people at a time, and they’re all far too good at distracting each other. He may have begun this crusade alone, but this work - this task - it is too much for just one man to bear.
He needs to call in the cavalry.
He needs to call Uraraka.
“So wait - you need my help for what ?” Uraraka listens to his tale of woe with varying levels of incredulity. He doesn’t actually want to ask her for help, considering this entire catastrophe is all her fault, but he does need it. A lot.
Tenya sighs. “The academic salvation of our grade. I am dying, Uraraka. Please, lend me your strength.”
Her expression is still set in disbelief. “I mean - I knew the couples were a pain, but - really? It’s that bad?”
He sighs again. “Uraraka, two of them are about to fail out of high school - our class ranking has never been this low, ever. And Monoma Neito jumped out of my locker to laugh at our class’ last exam scores. The situation is deplorable .”
Her eyes widen, “Your locker? How did he even fit -”
“He’s bendy,” Tenya snarls. “And it’s not just my locker! It’s bathroom stalls, and hallway corners, and air vents, and fourth-floor windows! ”
Uraraka blinks. Then her lips curl into a slow, sly, smile, and no - no, that smile means trouble. That smile is exactly what brought them to this disaster. Cease this madness at once!
“Iida-kun,” She smirks. “Have you ever considered why Monoma-kun is specifically bothering you?”
His response is immediate. “Because he is a menace to society, and must be stopped.”
Uraraka chuckles. It is slightly unnerving. “Don’t you know little boys always pull the pigtails of the girl they like?”
Tenya blinks. “I fail to see how hair and young children relate to this situation, but I trust your judgment. Also, I still require your assistance. This is a matter of utmost importance.”
She shakes her head with a sigh. “Never mind, never mind. You want me to join your study sessions, right?”
“Yes! If you could just run interference between Midoriya and Todoroki - Or dampen Jirou’s speakers - Or, or teach Kaminari how to count ! Maybe even extend Ashido’s attention span to more than fourteen seconds! Do anything, really, just help me,” He pleads.
Uraraka snaps him a sarcastic salute. “For the pride of Class 1A, I will lend a hand! Also, Iida-kun, about Monoma -”
“ - We will make him eat his words and suffer.” Tenya declares, marching off to the study room. Uraraka sighs and trails behind, wondering what nature of disaster awaits.
“... You really weren’t kidding.”
Tenya sighs. “As if I could imagine a disaster like this myself.”
Uraraka surveys the scene before them with a blank, unreadable stare. There are pieces of tape littering the ceiling, speckled with drops of acid. Mineta is strung up from the roof like a particularly lumpy piñata, and Jirou, Kaminari, and Ashido are taking turns lobbing balled-up pages of Tenya’s meticulously planned study guides at his head. Midoriya and Todoroki have progressed to an undiscovered level of PDA, and Yaoyorozu watches all the proceedings with a fond, indulgent smile. Cementoss’ voice rumbles from Jirou’s speakers in a country jig, and Sero is humming along, idly spooling his tape into the shape of flowers.
“Well. Shit.” Uraraka offers.
“Shit indeed.” Tenya agrees.
An airplane sails over their heads and drifts into the hall. Ashido shrieks, and a roll of tape snaps past to snatch it out of the air. The airplane was made with a modern literature study guide. Tenya takes a moment to recognize the fact that this - this is now his life.
“We have a lot of work to do, Iida-kun.” Uraraka murmurs. A grape-coloured ball smacks wetly into the door, and Tenya winces at the deafening cheer.
“I know,” He mutters, not quite knowing how he expected Uraraka would help.
But Uraraka does.
Uraraka Ochako is a force of nature.
Within minutes, she’s organized the class to a semblance of calm, sectioning them off into fully functional study groups. They’re as rowdy as ever at first, but Uraraka whispers something in their ears, and suddenly they’re tripping over their feet to do her bidding. It’s like watching a queen command her punitive minions. Tenya observes as desks pull together, and stands in awe of the studious, hardworking energy that has suddenly gripped his student’s minds. Mineta is actually reading a real textbook, Sero is answering questions correctly, and Midoriya and Todoroki aren’t even touching .
“What … did you do to them?” He whispers.
Uraraka grins. “Oh, nothing! Just motivational speeches, heavy coercion, and a slice of guilt. All excellent motivators.” She pauses. “Also I threatened to kill their relationships and social lives.” A shrug. “It would be surprisingly easy.”
“Uraraka,” Tenya murmurs. “You are terrifying.”
She pats him on the shoulder. “And never forget it. Now, we have some students to teach. Class 1A, fight!” Tenya echoes a slightly less enthusiastic cheer, and wanders off in a daze to teach Mineta addition.
One more day until Yuuei’s next general examination. One more day before the final fight begins.
Despite their initial struggles, with Uraraka’s help (and threats) the supplementary lessons have taken root in his young pupils’ hearts. All of them are testing much better than before (minus Kaminari, who fried himself with pre-test anxiety), and Tenya is growing to somewhat hopeful. Yaoyorozu will definitely reclaim her top spot, which has Tenya beaming with pride, and now that Jirou’s stopped making mixtapes and started listening to the lectures, she won’t be far behind. Midoriya and Todoroki have developed a strange, codependent study technique, but Tenya’s not going to think too hard on that. If it produces results, he’ll accept the smothering waves of unsolicited PDA. Sero and Ashido have both made excellent progress, and while Kaminari and Mineta won’t be at the top of any class, they will also not be failing high school. Tenya has made sure of it. It was exceedingly difficult, but all of Class 1A will make it into the next semester. By his honour, he swears it.
But will all of that be enough to defeat Class 1B?
He’s so caught up in his calculations that he doesn’t notice Monoma swooping in from the ceiling, not until he drops down and lands right in Tenya’s face. Out of pure reflex, Tenya jumps back and whips out in a kick. The engines in his leg burn blue-hot, and there’s a heavy, meaty smack.
(As a side note, kicking Monoma is intensely satisfying. Not that it was on purpose or anything. It was purely subconscious. Really.)
Monoma goes down with a shriek, crashing to the floor and skidding to the other end of the hall. “My beautiful face!” He wails, clutching his cheek, and Tenya’s starting to feel a little bit bad.
Then he remembers Monoma climbed to the fourth floor of a building to crash through a window and laugh at his misfortune, and you know what? He’ll live. Still, Tenya helps him up off the floor, brushing the dust from his uniform.
“That should teach you to stop surprising me,” He mutters, checking for injuries. Monoma may be his mortal enemy, but he doesn’t want to cripple him. Luckily, Monoma looks no worse for wear asides from the dirt he picked up from his slide across the floor. “Apologies,” Tenya manages to force out. “I overreacted.”
He instantly regrets it when Monoma beams. “Iida-kun,” He coos, a vicious glint in his eyes. “You care!”
Tenya is just going to drop him on the floor and walk away. He moves to do just that, but Monoma’s latched on to his arm, grin manically bright.
“Don’t leave, Iida-kun! We were having a moment!” He’s about to indignantly reply they were having nothing of the sort, when Monoma leans in with a smirk. “You should enjoy your last shreds of happiness before I crush you into despair.”
Tenya’s brows snap to a glare. “Class 1A will not be defeated!” He tries to shake Monoma off, but he’s like a leech that’s sunken in it’s teeth.
“It warms my heart to see you trying so hard,” Monoma sings, lilting with excitement. “It makes destroying you just. That. Much. Better.”
“The results of the exam will show the truth,” Tenya hisses, finally managing to snatch his arm free. “I look forward to your performance.”
There’s a sly look on Monoma’s lips, and Tenya has the sudden feeling he’s made a grave mistake. “If you want me to perform for you, Iida-kun,” He purrs, “You just have to ask.” Monoma leans in when he says it, right to Tenya’s ear. Unwillingly, he shivers.
“You -” He starts, “I -”
“Me and you -” Monoma parrots, curling into a grin. “Sounds good to me.” And no, absolutely not - Tenya all but leaps away, face burning, and Monoma just laughs.
“So cute when you’re embarrassed, Iida-kun!” He wriggles his fingers in a wave, and his eyes go sadistically bright. “Bye for now! I can’t wait to see how much cuter you’ll be when I crush you!” He skips off with one final wink, and Tenya -
Tenya doesn’t know if he’s confused, irritated, furious, or all of the above.
The exams are over, but results won’t be out for another week. Tenya is itching to know if they succeeded, and the wait is getting to unbearable. Monoma has been quiet as of late, and Tenya is just waiting for him to pop out of a storm drain or a showerhead to dramatically monologue. He definitely does not miss the disruption - his life is much more peaceful without.
(He may or may not check a few dark corners to see if Monoma is lurking nearby. And if he does, it is purely in self-defense.)
Still, the fact that Monoma isn’t appearing is, well, worrying. After all, he’s probably out there harassing another poor soul, and Tenya wouldn’t want to inflict him on anyone else. Days pass, and he only realizes he’s been thinking about nothing but Monoma Neito for half the week when Uraraka punches him in the shoulder on the way out of class.
“You’ve been really spacey, Iida-kun,” she says, stretching on her toes to sling an arm around his shoulders. “Is something up?”
“I -” He starts, working out a way to phrase this in a way that doesn’t make him sound obsessed. “I have been… relieved of a certain burden. It is quite surprising.”
Uraraka smiles kindly, “Is this about the exams? Don’t worry, Iida-kun, everyone studied very hard!”
He realizes with a start that he hasn’t even thought of the exams for days. All he’s been thinking of is the next time Monoma will appear, and it’s driving him insane. “I - yes. It’s probably just that.”
Uraraka narrows her eyes, and Tenya is almost certain she’s looking straight into his brain, picking his thoughts to pieces. “Are you sure it’s not about something else? Or maybe some one ?” Tenya gulps, and Uraraka lights up. “Iida-kun! Is it someone special?”
“If by special you mean uniquely irritating, then yes,” He huffs, shouldering his bag. “It’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“Iida-kun, are you experiencing the first blush of love?” Tenya’s face grows uncontrollably red, and Uraraka looks like she’s about to have a conniption. “You are!” Her voice is wild with glee. “This is amazing! Do you need counsel? It costs -”
“That will not be necessary!” Uraraka’s matchmaking prowess is too terrifying to behold. And he doesn’t like Monoma - he’s just a particularly recurrent problem that’s wormed its way into Tenya’s life. Even if he admits Monoma is aesthetically attractive, and -
- No, no! He does not admit that! Not at all! Even if his features are well proportioned, his personality is an absolute no!
There’s a beat of quiet, and Tenya realizes he’s said all of that out loud. If possible, his face burns even brighter. He expects Uraraka to light up in delight, but instead, she’s frozen. Stiffly, she pats him on the shoulder, her gaze slightly haunted.
“Good luck, Iida-kun,” she murmurs before dazedly wandering off.
Tenya takes a moment to consider how horrible this situation must be if it scares Uraraka.
The results are in.
First come the class rankings. Unsurprisingly, Yaoyorozu has reclaimed her seat as Number One. Todoroki and Midoriya are back in the single digits, and praise be - Mineta and Kaminari have not failed out of secondary education. Jirou’s actually improved from her original scores (apparently she found auditory learning incredibly effective), and Sero and Ashido are tied for 15th place, a perfectly acceptable score.
Next is what he’s been waiting for - the rankings between classes. Aizawa-sensei clears his throat, and when he reads out the top scoring class, Tenya might actually be sweating.
“Number one for Year One … Class 1A.”
The class erupts into cheers. Iida is too relieved to do much other than tear up and accept Uraraka’s supportive hug. There have been trials, there have been moments of creeping despair, but they did it. They won .
He floats out of homeroom in a euphoric daze, his delinquent students offering praise and thanks. If he cries just a little, it is justified. This is a momentous day, and he is incredibly proud of their progress. Yaoyorozu materializes a box of tissue, and he accepts it with a grateful sniff.
The only thing that could make this day better is lording their victory over Monoma’s arrogant face.
Tenya is not a particularly spiteful person, but Monoma succeeds in bringing out the worst in him. The worst being an incredibly petty part of his psyche that urges him to walk up to Monoma and laugh. He manages to resist… but it’s a very close call.
Yet as the days pass, Tenya’s patience begins to wear thin. Is Monoma never going to show up at all? Has losing scarred him that badly? Or maybe he’s just incredibly petty and refuses to face his defeat? That sort of childishness would fit his personality. Tenya stews on it for a week, then decides to take matters into his own hands. After all, what’s the point of winning if he doesn’t even get to enjoy his victory?
Tenya walks through the door of Class 1B’s homeroom like a normal human being, but Monoma looks so shocked to see him that he might as well have burst through the window on wings. Still, Monoma collects himself quickly, pasting on a droll smile.
“Iida-kun,” He sings, “Have you come to gloat?”
“I-” Well. He did, but now that he’s actually here, it’s quite uncomfortable. He’s used to defending himself from Monoma’s spiteful barbs, and being on the offense is … incredibly strange. Not that he likes arguing with Monoma or anything, but their interactions had a strictly defined process! How dare he break convention?
“Class… Class 1A won,” Tenya manages lamely.
Monoma rolls his eyes, swivelling in his chair to prop his feet up on his desk. “Yes, yes,” He sighs, “Class 1A steals the glory yet again.” He leans back, inspecting his nails like Tenya is a particularly large annoyance. “Is that all?”
“I-” This is so incredibly frustrating. Why is Monoma being so - so - calm? He’d expected at least an angry threat or two, but it’s like Monoma doesn’t even care. Which is infuriating, because Monoma’s the one who dragged Tenya into this juvenile battle in the first place!
“You what?” Monoma drawls. “Don’t be shy now, Iida-kun.”
His face is red and hot, and when he speaks, he hardly recognizes the low, goading tone of his own voice. “Class 1B lost,” He murmurs, “But only this time. Maybe you should work harder to give us a challenge.”
… He can’t believe he just said that. What has Monoma done to him? This level of pettiness is completely out of character, and he’s going to berate himself endlessly for being this childish. Tenya’s just about ready to call a retreat, when he sees the look on Monoma’s face and stops.
Because Monoma’s smile is delighted.
“Are you challenging me, Iida-kun?” His gaze is heavy and intent, bearing down on Tenya’s shoulders. Tenya’s still flushed, but when he speaks, it’s somehow coolly composed.
“I am,” He hears himself say. “Don’t disappoint.”
“Oh, I would never disappoint you, Iida-kun,” Monoma purrs, and this is getting dangerous, with the way he’s leaning in. “You’re so much more interesting than I expected.” Tenya has no idea what he means, but Monoma is getting too close for comfort. If he leans in any more, Tenya might reflexively kick him or burst into flame. Possibly both at once. He stumbles back in a way he hopes isn’t desperate, fixing his tie so there’s something for his shaky hands to do.
“I - I look forward to your efforts.” There’s a stutter in his voice he can’t will away, and Monoma’s expression is pure, unadulterated glee.
“And I look forward to winning a reward. Bye now, Iida-kun!” Tenya should be used to this by now, but he still jumps when Monoma whirls himself off his seat and disappears into the void.
Tenya stands there for a few moments, stunned and silent. A very large part of him is unable to believe this encounter actually happened, and what was he even saying? ‘Give us a challenge?’ ‘Don’t disappoint?’ ‘I look forward to your efforts?’ He has half a mind to hunt Monoma down and take everything back - the whole point of winning this battle was a return to blessed peace!
But another small, tiny shard of his being is roaring in approval. The competition with Monoma may have been a struggle, but in the end it was almost… fun. And why should it end at all, when there are so many more opportunities to make Monoma eat his words? He leaves Class 1B with a lightness in his step - a fire in his eyes that might just be excitement.
If he’s going to play Monoma’s game, then he’s going to be the one to win.
- extras -
Ochako tries and fails to hide her surprise when self-declared number one Class 1A detractor Monoma Neito slides into her booth, settling in the counseling seat with a flourish.
“Uraraka-chan!” He sings, “I require your service!”
“... Monoma-kun…?” She starts, somewhat wondering if this is a trick. “Are you here for matchmaking… ?”
“Something like that!” He chirps, sliding to the edge of his seat. “Even if it’s from 1A scum like you.”
Ochako tries to be offended, but, well, he’s paying. And his attitude is a good sign he’s not an impostor. “Then what can I help you with?”
Monoma grins. “Nothing much! Just Iida Tenya’s daily schedule. And locker combination. Also, do you have his address? Oh - Oh! And other things, like his social insurance number, his birth certificate ID - you know, the basics.”
“ What .”
Monoma doesn’t seem to register her distress. “This is my first crush,” He confesses, hands on his cheeks like he’s hiding a blush. “- and it’s so exciting! Iida is so stoic and serious - I can’t wait to tear his life apart at the seams and watch him writhe in the palm of my hand!”
Uraraka chokes. “Monoma-kun, I really can’t -”
“I’ll pay you double.”
She crosses her arms, appalled. “ Monoma Neito, if you think I’d betray my friend -”
“Triple.”
She pointedly coughs. Monoma laughs, delighted.
“Quadruple,” He purrs, and damn it.
Morality? What morality. “... Okay, so here’s how you should start -”
Poor Iida has no idea what’s coming.
She tells him to start by initiating conversations, but Monoma -
She doesn’t even know what he’s doing.
It’s somewhat impressive Monoma managed to climb to the fourth floor of the building just to jump-scare Iida, but also why can’t he just walk up to him like a normal human being? Ochako says as much in their next session, and Monoma sighs as if she is particularly slow.
“Uraraka-chan, I need to be special to him! If I don’t do something interesting, he won’t notice, will he?” He smiles then, just shy of wicked. “Also, Iida-kun is adorable when he screams. I want to -”
“- Stop! Stop!” She’s spent enough time in Monoma’s presence to know that letting him describe his fantasies is a highly inadvisable path. “Your daydreams aside, you need to establish a positive rapport with him - something that you two can enjoy doing together.”
Monoma frowns. “He’s a lot prettier when he’s suffering, but I suppose that makes sense.” Internally, Ochako screams.
“... You know, you could just tell him you like him instead of provoking him into a rage every time you meet.” This is good advice - sound, reasonable counsel, but of course, Monoma refuses to make her life easy.
“I could,” he hums, “But that wouldn’t be any fun .” His smile is lethally sadistic, and once again, Uraraka sends a silent apology to her friend.
But money is money, and at least Iida will never actually be into him.
Right?
Iida is crushing on Monoma and Ochako is going to die.
Is this a curse? Is this a punishment for her sins? Iida is actually her friend, and she’s doomed him to an unspeakable fate. Monoma is going to eat him alive.
She struggles with her conscience for days. Should she tell him to stay away? Should she tell him that Monoma is unhealthily obsessed? Should she tell him Monoma Neito is actually a sadistic sociopath who wants to see you cry in utter desolation?
She’s still struggling with the decision when her next meeting with Monoma rolls around. The day comes, and Ochako makes a choice.
This time, she’s going to listen to her conscience.
This time, she’s going to stand up for her friend.
This time, she’s going to hand Monoma back his money and tell him to stay out of Iida’s life.
Her hands are in fists because this is a battle - she will protect Iida’s virtue with everything she’s got. Monoma slides into the booth, and this is it, she’s going to say it -
“Uraraka-chan,” Monoma murmurs, eyes glazed and dreamy, “I’m in love .”
Her mind blanks. “- You what .”
He curls up in his chair, near trembling in delight. “He challenged me! I knew he was cute, but he’s so fierce! So flushed, and pretty, and that fire in his eyes - it’s even better than despair!”
Iida challenged him? Calm, considerate, always proper and polite Iida Tenya? Are they talking about the same person?
As if he senses her disbelief, Monoma melts into a happy sigh. “It was so surprising - he was snarky, goading, and everything! I never expected he would be this fun!” He wriggles in his seat as if his joy is something so fierce it can’t be kept still. “Next time, I’m going to beat him, and oh, the things I’m going to have him do … “
“He - agreed? To some kind of class war?” Ochako cannot believe this.
“Uraraka-chan,” Monoma grins. “He started it.”
She must look some shade of dismayed because Monoma’s grin widens and his laugh is utter glee. “Thank you for all your help, Uraraka-chan! I can’t wait for our love to bloom!” He’s out of his seat and fluttering away before Ochako regains the ability to speak.
Monoma has corrupted pure and precious Iida. Ochako is horrified. Maybe it’s about time to retire - if they’ve managed to unite Monoma Neito and Iida Tenya, her matchmaking powers are far too dangerous for humanity.