Chapter Text
Llamas With Hats, Episode 3.5
The scene opens to show a dimly lit room, maybe in a cellar. The floor is red, the walls brown. There are several bodies laying on the ground, each one missing both hands. Three are missing their feet. Standing over them is a white llama with a green hat nestled on top of his head.
“Caaaaaaarrrrrrlllll!” screams a voice from the stairs, “Where are you?”
“Down here, Paul!” the white llama, Carl, responds.
“Carl! What did you do?” Paul exclaims as he enters the cellar, visibly shaken by the sight greeting him.
“I, uh, made dinner.”
“With what, Carl?” Paul puts a sharp emphasis on Carl’s name, and you can see Carl flinch as he starts to answer.
“Beef. It was a lovely braised beef minestrone, a recipe fresh from my grandmother’s cookb-”
“No, Carl!” Paul yells, shaking his head, his flowered hat bouncing, “Tell me the truth.”
“Well it may have been lamb,...”
“No, Carl.”
“Sushi.”
“Sushi isn’t cooked, Carl.”
“Fine, fine, I found all these people and cut off their hands and made a hand stew.”
A moment of silence passes while Paul stares at Carl with a look of disbelief and horror, before yelling, “Caaaaaaarrrrrrrrlllllll!”
“What? I was hungry. Remember when I made hands earlier? They were so good I needed to share them with you.”
“Fine, Carl, but what happened to their feet?”
“Their feet?”
“Yes, Carl.” Paul looks down at the three bodies with ragged stumps for legs, fearing the worst. As Carl starts to speak, Paul begins to sigh.
“Well, I couldn’t find enough hands so I had to substitute.”
“Caaaaarrrrrllll!”
“Yes, it was very distressing. I don’t know if I will ever be the same again.”
Paul turns to go, having had enough of Carl to last a year, let alone one night.
Also to use the bathroom. The hand and foot stew wasn’t settling in too well.