Chapter Text
Patrick, it's David Rose from the general store
Well not the general store. You know what I mean. From the business license. For the store. You gave me your card.
Anyway I tried to call about my license but got through to your voicemail. You can ignore the messages. I don't think I got my point across and while your "helpful" badminton metaphors make no sense to me I wanted to ask you to look over my proposal because you look like you know what you're doing
Business proposal, that is
Anyway, don't bother listening to the messages I'll come back to Ray's
If you don't mind me coming in, I'm not sure if I have to make like an appointment or something?
I'll just come in and grab one of those deli counter ticket things
Is Ray really that busy? Does he need a deli counter ticket system? How many houses are there to sell in Schitt's Creek?
Although I suppose he's busy enough to have hired you.
I'll come back later and grab a ticket. If you'll be there.
Not that I won't talk to Ray. But he's probably busy.
Hence the deli ticket thing.
Anyway don't listen to the messages
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Patrick, it's David Rose. Do you know how long a business license takes to come back?
I know it's you, David. My voicemail wasn't the only part of my phone to collapse from exhaustion earlier - Patrick.
I was… Hoping that you had deleted them. Or that they'd been lost in the airwaves. Or maybe that you didn't know how to read.
A license can take anything up to two weeks to process. I'll let you know when we get it - Patrick.
When you get it. Sorry - Patrick.
Okay, thanks.
You don't need to sign off on every text, I'll just save your number.
It's polite and professional to sign off messages - Patrick.
Okay grandpa, would you prefer I sent you a letter via carrier pigeon?
God no, my mailbox is far too small to contain all your thoughts - Patrick.
Oh yes, you are the height of politeness. The king of courtesy.
What can I say? I'm very sure of myself - Patrick.
Thank you. By the way. For helping me with my form. I'm not… Good at expressing my thoughts sometimes.
You're welcome. Happy to help with the oscillation - Patrick.
You really think the name is pretentious?
Do you care what I think? - Patrick.
Humour me
It's not something I would expect from a store in this town, but you're not something I would expect from this town either. It's good to stand out and be unique. From a business perspective - Patrick.
So it's timeless and I'm timeless too is what you're saying
Let's stick with unique - Patrick.
Uniquely timeless. Got it. Thanks for your help.
Any time. Call me if you need me. Well, call me once at a time. I'd need more than 24 hours in a day to get through your voicemails on a regular basis - Patrick.
I will.
I mean, hopefully I'll be a natural at this business thing and won't need to but. If I do. I've got your number.
So, again, no need to sign off the texts.
Goodnight Patrick
Ciao.
-Patrick.