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As hero interns, they had to be prepared for anything that might be thrown at them. Izuku thought he had the tools to be ready for whatever might happen out on the field; his training, his analytical prowess, his strength, all of it honed over the year and a half he had already spent at U.A. alongside his classmates. A thief shouldn’t have given him alone much trouble, much less him and Todoroki together under the guise of one of Japan’s finest.
For all intents and purposes… they caught the guy. Though, it seemed like he had an unusual quirk and didn’t go down without first leaving his mark.
Todoroki had been the one to capture him. He was cautious, just like they had been trained to do whenever facing someone with an unknown quirk, but all it took was one puff to his face when the guy twisted around while Todoroki was restraining him. They didn’t even have to demand the thief tell them what he’d done as Todoroki stumbled backwards, falling onto his rear as he coughed up the red smoke the man had blown right into his nose and mouth.
“Have fun loving your mortal enemy, try that one on for size!” Miruko hadn’t hesitated to knock the guy out with a swift kick to the face and, for that, Izuku was kind of grateful.
He rushes to his friend’s side, frantic. If his interpretation of the man’s quirk was correct, then Todoroki should be feeling very differently about his father right about now. All Izuku wants is to get him out of the public eye as soon as possible, reeling at the possible consequences that may come with the masses finding out the messy history that comprised the Todoroki family. He knows that it could only bring his friend trouble, should the word get out. Izuku may not like it, but he respects Todoroki’s decision to keep it all to himself.
“Todoroki-kun,” He calls, voice a little strangled with apprehension. “Are you okay?”
Blinking a few times, Todoroki groans. “I’m fine, I think. That thing smells awful, he could use a breath mint…” He comments absently, rubbing at his face.
“Hey, um… weird question, but what do you think about Endeavor?” Izuku whispers before Miruko makes her way to them.
Todoroki’s features scrunch in confusion as his gaze finally clears and he narrows his eyes at him. “Who cares about that bastard?”
A wave of relief washes over Izuku then. Perhaps he had been wrong about what the quirk might be, or maybe it just takes a while to actually kick into effect, but for now, Todoroki seems to be just the same as usual. Or, so he thought. For the longest time, Todoroki just won’t stop staring at him, getting closer and closer to Izuku’s face while he freezes in place, eyes widening slightly.
“Midoriya…” Todoroki breathes, mismatched eyes locked with his own. “Your eyes… they’re… so big…”
“H-huh?” Izuku sputters, his heart lurching to his throat.
No, wait… does that mean that… Could it be that he ha— “I can… see my reflection in them. Don’t. Move.”
“H-huh?!”
Without warning, Todoroki grabs his face with both hands, pulling him ever closer and letting his lids fall half-closed. “How have I never noticed how beautiful I am? Look at that… I’m a work of art…”
“T-Todoroki-kun?!”
Izuku pushes away with a few unintelligible mutters, his mind racing at their previous proximity, and the initial shock sending him for a loop. Miruko is quick to make her way to them as well, after she has made sure the thief is truly out of commission and the police is ready to take him into custody. As Todoroki absently stares at himself in every reflective surface he can find, Izuku waits impatiently for a more detailed report on the guy’s quirk.
“Seems our little friend makes people love the one they most hate.” So, Izuku’s assumption had been right. “Only lasts a few hours and he won’t remember a thing, but it is quite intense, to the point where their target can drop everything to engage with their newfound obsession and…” She takes one long look at Todoroki and sighs, her eyes shining with sympathy. “I will escort you two back to your school. It wouldn’t do to leave you alone when he is this affected.”
“Yes, we’d appreciate that, thank you.” Izuku mumbles, casting his gaze to the floor as he takes a deep breath to stop any stray tears before they have the chance to actually make it down his face.
The ride to U.A. is spent in awkward silence, Todoroki’s eyes locking with his own mirror image as he touches his face in the glass, occasionally sighing dreamily at the sight of himself. Izuku does his best to avoid staring, but it doesn’t stop the pain from settling deep within his chest. Each self-obsessed gesture his friend engages in is a testament to what lies in his soul, what he hides from everyone around him; maybe even himself. And it hurts to even think that Todoroki carries these feelings with him wherever he goes, it hurts to see it so blatantly on display in such a ludicrous manner.
It only hurts more when they finally make it to the common room and their classmates play along with Todoroki’s antics, laughing heartily at the admittedly silly things he gets on to. They’re just looking at the surface level, not digging any deeper, because they don’t know what Todoroki has been through. Izuku isn’t supposed to, either; not technically. But Todoroki trusted him with his past, whether his intentions had been a little misguided at the time or not.
“Midoriya.” The reason for his distraction calls him back to reality and Izuku looks up at Todoroki blearily, blinking away the blur in his vision and hoping no tears escape the confines of his eyes. “Can you take a few pictures of me? I made an Ultragram to share my beauty with the world.”
Izuku pauses for a moment, looking from Todoroki’s phone up to his face, a lump forming in his throat as he tries to choke back a sob. Sniffling, he gives him a curt nod and takes the phone from his extended hand, unlocking it to turn on the camera. When he points it at his friend, he flashes him an easy smile that seems so awfully fake, completely devoid of any emotion whatsoever. He looks good with it, objectively speaking, but Izuku can’t help but hate it with a burning passion.
Todoroki’s smiles may be rare, but when he gives them, they are genuine, honest. That sincerity is what makes them so beautiful, so absolutely breath-taking. They are gifts for those who get to witness them, those who help bring them to his face. They soften all the edges of his usual hard expressions, fill his mismatched eyes with a brilliant light that warms Izuku’s heart whenever he has the pleasure to see it. Todoroki’s smiles are pure. They are nothing like this; vapid, empty.
A hiccup breaks through him and Izuku covers his mouth, muttering an apology before dropping the phone on the nearest table and pacing towards the elevators.
“Midoriya, wait!” At the sound of his friend’s voice, Izuku stops dead in his tracks, rubbing at his eyes and turning to him once more. “This last picture is blurry, could you take another one?”
Clenching his hands to fists and gritting his teeth, Izuku faces the other way and runs, taking the stairs three at a time to get to his room as quickly as possible. He slides down to the floor when he slams the door shut, hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his face behind them as he finally lets his anguish flow freely. He can’t bear to see Todoroki like this, it’s too painful, knowing the reason for it.
Their classmates may be enjoying it, but Izuku simply can’t find Todoroki’s hidden pain amusing, no matter how it may manifest. And maybe this makes him a bad friend, that he is choosing to run away and hide rather than be with him when he is suffering through a quirk’s effects. It might seem like he is fine, after all he isn’t at risk of hurting himself—quite the contrary, if anything. Still… he should be there for him, it’s just too painful.
It’s only a few hours and he’ll be back to normal.
Except… Izuku will still know. Just because Todoroki won’t be obsessed with himself anymore, the feelings that reversed into this exaggerated love will still remain. That self-hatred he holds so close he may not even be fully aware of it will still be there. Izuku can’t just forget that, and he can’t ignore it either.
Every time he looks into his friend’s eyes, he is going to see it, that overwhelming, irrational guilt that comes with living with abuse, the feeling that, on some level, it must be his fault any of it is even happening. Izuku knows those thoughts all too well and Todoroki had it so much worse. He should have known, he should have seen it and helped him see all the amazing things there are to love about him.
Todoroki is beautiful, inside and out, and he should love himself for it all. But not like this. Todoroki is kind and caring to all of his friends, pays so much attention to everyone around him that he can tell when something is off. He has noticed when Izuku was in pain so many times before, done anything he could to help him through that turmoil. This narcissistic shell of a person that can’t see beyond his own reflection isn’t him.
His phone vibrates in his pocket and Izuku wipes at his wet eyes before fishing for it. It’s a notification from Ultragram, telling him he was tagged in a photo in what he can only assume to be Todoroki’s new account. He frowns at the screen, at that fake, meaningless smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and removes the tag before throwing the phone onto his bed with a curse.
Not long after, a soft knock sounds at his door and Izuku debates pretending he didn’t hear it at all, but when Todoroki speaks from the other side, his heart squeezes in his chest. Shutting his eyes for a moment to brace himself, Izuku slowly picks himself up off the floor, not even bothering to make it look like he hadn’t just been crying. The way Todoroki is, he probably won’t even notice.
Sighing, Izuku opens the door just a crack, cringing when he sees Todoroki messing with his hair as he looks at himself with his front-facing camera.
“Oh,” Todoroki turns to Izuku after a few heartbeats, only then noticing that he was actually looking at him. “You removed yourself from the picture.” He says simply.
“Yeah.”
“But you took it.” He continues, brows furrowing slightly in confusion. “Plus, wouldn’t you like people to know you’re my friend? It could get you places.”
A bout of anger bubbles inside him at that insufferable thief but Izuku swallows it down. “It’s fine. I only need you to know I’m your friend.”
“Well, of course you are. I’m amazing, why wouldn’t you be my friend?”
Izuku’s lips pull to a taut line as he clenches his jaw. “You are amazing, Todoroki-kun.” He tells him firmly, voice strangled but determined to tell him the truth.
“I know.” Todoroki agrees without a second thought, turning back to his phone. “Anyway, I’ll see you later. Going to ask Ashido if she would like to use me as the face for her makeup tutorials. It’s bound to give her more views.”
“Sure thing…” Izuku murmurs as he watches him leave, blinking more tears away and slowly closing the door behind him then locking it.
Any plans he may have had for that day feel pointless; homework, training, dinner… Wordlessly, Izuku drags his feet to the bed and crashes onto it, curling in on himself and hoping that sleep can take mercy on his cracking heart. But of course, he isn’t so lucky. All he can do is cry quietly into his pillow, entirely losing track of time as he wallows in his sorrows. Todoroki doesn’t deserve this, he shouldn’t hate himself at all, let alone more than anyone else when Endeavor had treated him so poorly.
All Izuku wants to do is tell Todoroki how wonderful he thinks he is, how much he cares for him, and wants for him to be happy. Todoroki deserves that happiness and everything good the world has to offer. He deserves to be loved and cared for. Izuku would give him all of that in a heartbeat, he would love Todoroki tenfold to make up for all the years he has spent hating himself so much.
At that thought, Izuku jerks up, eyes widening with a sudden realisation.
Not having a second to waste, Izuku bolts off the bed, fumbling with the lock as he keeps wiping at his eyes and nose with shaking hands. He hardly notices whether he closes the door once he finally makes it into the hallway, running down the stairs to go to the girls’ side of the dorms to find Todoroki. Just as he is rushing to the stairs, a flash of red and white catches his eye and he slides into the nearest wall trying to stop his momentum on a tiled floor while wearing nothing but socks.
“Midoriya, are you okay?” Todoroki asks, his brows furrowing in concern as he walks closer, offering him a hand to help him up.
Izuku notices the confusion twisting his features as well, realising with a start that he looks entirely different from when he last saw him. Ignoring Todoroki’s hand entirely, Izuku jumps to his feet and throws his arms around his friend’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug and burying his face in the crook of his neck. From the way Todoroki’s whole body tenses, Izuku notes that he should have probably asked for permission first, but then he relaxes into his hold, wrapping his own arms around his waist.
“Todoroki-kun, you’re amazing and I hope you know how much I admire you.”
“Th-thanks?” It sounds a lot more like a question than anything else and Izuku feels his knees go a little weak with relief, grateful that he is holding on to Todoroki for support.
“Don’t ever think you are anything less than wonderful, don’t ever think you deserve anything less than the best things the world has to offer. You—” Izuku chokes on a sob and Todoroki’s embrace tightens around him.
“Midoriya, what’s wrong? Why are you saying all this?”
“Just… Please know that you are loved. You deserve to be loved, Todoroki-kun.”
“I… Okay… thank you, Midoriya.” Todoroki lets out a trembling breath that brushes past Izuku’s hair. “And the same goes for you, too.”
There is more that Izuku wants to tell him, but now is not the time. So, he just nods and mutters a quiet ‘thank you’ of his own, taking a risk and tangling his fingers in Todoroki’s hair to pull him closer still. He doesn’t pull away and Izuku’s heart stutters when he rubs his cheek against the side of his head in an affectionate touch. Eventually Izuku will be able to tell him how loved he really is. Hopefully soon.