Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As most idiotic things do, it starts with a lie.

A foolish one, at that; something to save face, a prop to hold up his crumbling pride. A petty lie that could have easily been avoided if he’d just taken the high road and admitted he was wrong; but he was a Rose, and members of his family tended to not do so. But now here he was, neck-deep in a lie in which he most definitely had to keep up if he wanted to retain any shred of dignity that he had left; but he had no clue how to.

See, it had all started because of the silly little Christmas party that his parents throw every year. It’s the biggest family occasion of the holiday season, distant relatives coming in from all parts of the country to clink their cheap champagne glasses together and give half-assed gifts to the children, most of which were too-small socks and shirts. The relatives that still pinch David’s cheeks even though he’s been an adult for some years, and the relatives that, besides sending you an occasional birthday or holiday card, don’t exactly exist in your day-to-day life. He hasn’t seen his close family in months, and his distant family even longer; the last time he can recall it was Easter at least five years ago, when Alexis hid 100 dollars in an easter egg and then took it for herself. He’d been on the cusp of moving out then, and wasn’t fully present in the activities that ensued, so he wasn’t sure that even counted.

Now, however, he would be seeing them again, and this time with even more on his plate than before. The Christmas party was always hosted in his parent’s cabin on Canandaigua Lake, a drive about five hours from where he lived. He has good memories in that cabin, times from when they went sledding in the winter and boating in the summer, and he can’t deny that he isn’t somewhat excited about going there for the first time in six years. He hadn’t been ignoring his family, per se; in fact, he did quite the opposite, talking to his mother and father and sister every day whether he liked it or not. It was just because they, being his family, were a bit… much to handle constantly. His mother and father were extremely wealthy, able to afford a fucking cabin on a lake alongside a mansion somewhere else in New York state, and his sister had a family of her own and a successful job to keep her busy. Together, though, the Rose family was an entirely different animal; a violent, snappy, eccentric animal. One that David wasn’t equipped to deal with every single year.

He’d been thrilled when he turned eighteen and was given the opportunity to move. He left as soon as he could, renting out a small apartment in the city, and he began his new life alone with peace and quiet and the ability to do whatever he pleased. But that was the thing that his parents were so hung up on; the fact that he was, in fact, all by himself.

Maybe it was because they were raised traditionally to go to college, meet a nice person, marry them, have kids with them, grow old, retire and die, but no matter what David did or how successful he was in the business world, they didn’t seem to care as much as they did about his relationship status. They were always asking him if he’d found a girlfriend yet, if he’d met a nice guy, and it really did tick him off to no end. He was a capable human outside of romantic affairs, but that never seemed to matter to them. David knew that they meant well, and just didn’t want their only son to die alone, but it did tend to ruffle his feathers.

It mostly came from his mother, which was no surprise to him, but a fair amount also came from his sister, who was already proficient with her husband and daughter. Alexis was a little shit, no matter how much David loved her, and she likes to start the why don’t you have a boyfriend? conversations more than anyone in their family. Even his father brings it up every now and again; little inquiries pertaining to why he seemed to never be tied down. Sometimes, even, they think that he is, and he’s just lying to them.

Which, of course, is never actually the case, and David tries to make that as obvious as possible. Whenever the topic came up, David would answer the same thing. Every single time. Because, in fact, this happened every time they called; even if it was just the subtle “meet anyone new?” in between a conversation.

If he was seeing someone, he’s sure that he wouldn’t hide it. Sure, his family could be a bit overbearing and… critical, able to talk your ear off and not afraid to show off a bit of their wealth, but they were kind enough. Hell, David couldn’t judge even if he wanted to; he was the same way, only a little less so due to being apart from them for so long. But only few could handle them in such large doses; the last time he brought someone with him, of course they loved his family, but they also needed to go off and take a breather every so often.

David’s family was a lot to handle most of the time; he didn’t blame her, and through all of that, they were still the pair of good friends that they had been before.

He’s just never necessarily in a relationship, and he doesn’t understand what’s so terrible about that. He has better things to work on, more important things to do; and he’s only thirty! He really doesn’t see the rush to settle down; he’s always been much more independent than the rest of his family, hence why he moved out so soon, and in all honesty, he wasn’t all that worried about finding someone to spend the rest of his life with.

Another reason is that he just doesn’t have the time. He has his own business, his own shop down on 26th and 7th called Rose Apothecary that he’s damn proud of; it houses everything he holds dear and it’s one of his greatest accomplishments that comes before almost anything. If he’s not working there, he’s paying his bills or with his friends, and on top of all of that? It’s not worth it to try and juggle a relationship. He knows that they don’t mean to cross-examine him every time he picks up the phone, but he always is a little hurt that they never seem to acknowledge the fact that he’s doing it all solo.

So the next time that his mother calls, he’s busy in his own kitchen, sliding his cell phone between his neck and shoulder while he tries to make dinner for himself. It’s been a late day, restocking taking much more time than he’d thought, and he’s tired. Moira, his dearest mother, is going over the Christmas plans once more: David will arrive in the evening on the 20th, they’ll have the party on the 24th, David will close down the shop while he’s gone, Moira and Ted will be making the dinner (Ted was surprisingly adept at cooking; a blessing for Alexis, who, the last time David checked, burnt fucking water) while the rest of the family wraps presents. It wasn’t anything new, so David let himself check out while she continued on. However, like the good son he is, he makes the mistake of reminding her to make two hams, not one, and this prompts her next question.

“David, will you be bringing a date? You said you’d get back to us, in case we needed to make an extra pint of mashed potatoes, but you never did.”

He groans inwardly, before responding quickly that no, he isn’t bringing a date, while he adds more pepper to the spaghetti sauce he’s multitasking with. This, of course, launches him into an entirely new conversation, one that involves his mother lecturing him about the fact that he, once again, is alone, and probably will remain that way for the rest of his life (which he isn’t too worried about.) He does his best to not get annoyed, because Moira really is just concerned, so he resorts to rolling his eyes and huffing under his breath in the safety of his own home.

“Mom, I promise, it’s really not a big deal,” he retorts, for what feels like the millionth time. His neck aches, and while he stirs he switches his phone from one ear to the other.

“I’ve said it before, I don’t need to bring anyone. I’ll be fine by myself; I’ll enjoy it more, yeah?” He shakes his head like she can see him, and tries his best not to let annoyance leak into his words.

“But you always come alone!” Moira exclaims, and David winces at the severity of her tone. “Maybe if you brought someone along, you’d have more fun,” she tries, as if there’s someone David would actually bring.

“Mom, I’m not seeing anyone, nor am I bringing anyone,” David retaliates, “I told you this yesterday, and today, and I will tomorrow, so please just… stop asking.” He is trying so very hard not to sound like a whiny child at this point, but Jesus Christ, his mother makes it hard.

All this leads to is every other talk he’s had with his mother about this, and he is most definitely not in the mood. So he just smiles, nods, and repeats over and over again that he doesn’t need one, he isn’t lonely, and he’s just too busy. Eventually, he has to go when he gets a little too heated and forgets to stir his spaghetti sauce, burning it where it lay on the stove. He curses under his breath, mutters a hasty “yeah, yeah, love you too, I’ll talk to you later,” before hanging up and putting his head into his hands.

After he eats his mildly burnt spaghetti and cleans up the kitchen, it happens; the lie that sets this entire situation in motion. He’s curled up on the couch, a glass of wine in his hand as he finally relaxes, when Alexis facetimes him. She usually only texts him, with the occasional call about once a week, so he can say hi to Sarah, so he’s afraid that it’s an emergency of some sort. But that’s not the case; which is apparent from her greeting, which is just a lilting, “do you have any friends?”

David scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Of course I do. What makes you say that?”

“Yeah, alright,” Alexis says, in that snarky, know-it-all way of hers that grates on his already-frayed nerves. It’s something she reserves specifically for him, and David hates it to no end.

“You have, like, one friend. And that’s it.”

“I have more than one friend!” David asserts, defensiveness making his voice rise, and Alexis just laughs. “Stevie is just… my best friend. So I have one best friend. And tons of normal friends.”

“Oh my god, is that them?” Alexis says, oversold surprise drenching her words, “they’re soooo cute. Hi, David’s friends!” She cooes, to absolutely no one in the room, and David raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

“I’m going to hang up on you, if that’s all you had to say,” he says, and makes a move to do just that when she huffs and drops the sugar-sweet act. “You’re so uptight sometimes, David,” Alexis says, smile quirking at her lips, and her brother pushes down the urge to flip her off.

“Yeah, well, whatever.” He retorts, and curses inwardly at his shockingly good comeback. Alexis, however, doesn’t seem to notice, instead changing her position to prop David up against what he thinks is her desk. She’s still in her work attire, hair pulled back and sleeves rolled up, and her makeup is faded from the day’s tasks.

“Y’know, Mom’s really hoping you’re gonna change your mind and bring someone to the Christmas party.”

David huffs. This again?

“Well, I’m terribly sorry to disappoint, but I’m not,” he responds, taking a sip from the glass still balanced in his right hand. “Not that my dating life is any of your business; you’re married, for fuck’s sake, you shouldn’t care .”

At this, Alexis frowns minimally. “Of course I should care. You’re my brother,” she offers, her expression sincere, and David feels a twinge of guilt at his jab.

“But anyway, I’ve got it figured out. You’re dedicating your life to Satan, right?” And she’s back. David nearly spits his wine out at this, and he can tell that was the reaction she wanted; she bursts into laughter.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He asks, incredulous, and she just continues laughing. “You’re saving yourself for Lucifer, right? Your lord and savior, waiting for you down in hell. Do you need me to buy you like… a deck of tarot cards or something?” Alexis asks, and David throws his hands into the air.

“I’m not a Satanist, Alexis. And why does everyone care so much about who I date?”

“Wait, but that would mean you do date, which you clearly don’t,” she laughs, taking full advantage of his slip-up, “you don’t have to repress your gay feelings for the Devil, David. We’ll accept you for who you are, though it might take some getting used to from Mom and Dad.”

“I’m actually going to go to your house and kick your ass.”

“ Right, ” Alexis drawls, smile smug. “Okay, maybe you’re not into Satan. Are you a no-dating rights activist now?”

“They’re technically allowed to date, though,” David points out.

“You’re really not getting anywhere with your case,” she retorts, blue eyes alight with mischief, and David sighs. All he can think to say is, “yeah, well, even if I was dating someone, it’s not like I’d tell anybody.”

“But you’re not, so it’s fine,” Alexis pushes.

David looks at her for a few beats, her own expression drawn into something of a cat who got the cream. She’s always been a master of reverse psychology, prying him into answering questions he never wanted to in the first place. A feeling of odd defensiveness bubbles up in his chest, and he responds with, “how would you know?” It’s one thing when he has reasons for himself, but it’s another when it’s made out like something’s wrong with him; like he’s scared, or like he has commitment issues, which he definitely doesn’t have.

Alexis rolls her eyes so hard David’s afraid she’ll pull something. “Because I know you by now? Because you’re my brother and even if you don’t like it, you tell me everything? Because in the history of our lives together, you’re never dating someone?” And then, of course, she has to add, “because you’re saving yourself for Satan?”

“For the last time, Satan isn’t my fucking sugar daddy,” David spits, and he isn’t sure why he does it, but he then adds on, “and, for your information, you fucking gremlin, I am dating someone,” before he even realizes what he’s saying.

Alexis pauses for a few moments, staring at him through the grainy quality of her camera, before she smirks at him, mock sympathy painted on her face. “Mhm. Yeah, right, like you didn’t just spend five minutes convincing me you weren’t.”

“Well, it’s true,” David says, matter-of-factly, but his brain is currently screaming at him to end this now. “I just didn’t say anything because we haven’t been together all that long, and I didn’t want to get your hopes up about me bringing him to the entire goddamn family.”

Him. Alright, David has a boyfriend now.

Now Alexis is looking hard through the screen, like if she bores into him enough she’ll see the truth (which tends to work in real life, but not over the telephone.) Her mouth opens and closes a few times, eyebrows raising to her hairline, like she’s trying to figure if he’s full of it or not. “So… you’ve got a boyfriend.”

David doesn’t trust himself to say anything, so he just presses his lips together and nods.

“Alright, cool. What’s his name?”

David flounders for a second, eyes widening the slightest bit, before he spits, “once again, why should you care?”

Alexis, to his surprise, bursts into another fit of giggles. Through her laughter, she manages out, “I knew it, you’re so full of shit!” before collapsing once more. The prideful look in her eyes when she knew she won was infuriating , and David planned to wipe it away as soon as possible.

“Stop- stop laughing! I’m not joking, Alexis!”

“Just admit that you lied, and I won’t tell anybody about the major fuck-up you just had. Deal?” Her voice rises sweetly, lilting, something that the entire Rose family has in common. David should just admit defeat right now, while his sister is offering mercy, but he’s nothing if a little prideful, and he’s David Rose; he’ll be fine.

“Sucks for you,” he responds, looking at her exasperatedly, “because I wasn’t lying.”

“ Really? ” Alexis challenges, pursing her lips together, “fine then. Prove it.”

David scoffs. “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone about this little charade to save your pride and no one will take you seriously.” David groans and rolls his eyes as Alexis laughs, his sister covetous to make him admit that he was, in fact, a liar, which made him even more desperate to prove that she was wrong. He doesn’t like the fact that his family may think that he’s incapable of dating; he most certainly isn’t, he just… doesn’t want to.

“Okay!” David cries, gaining Alexis’s attention once more. “Fine, you want proof? I’ll give you proof.”

“Is that so?” She questions, and he can tell although she’s keeping up her skeptical act, she’s legitimately intrigued. “Yep. I’ll prove it. In person.”

“In person!” Alexis exclaims, “what’re you gonna do? Bring him to the Christmas party this year and let everyone meet him?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I will,” David states, doing everything to maintain eye contact with the camera, and his sister nods decisively. “Right, right. So, like, I can tell Mom, right? And Dad? Since you have nothing to hide and all,” Alexis asks, more a statement than a question, but David still makes an affirmative, forceful hum.

“God, Mom’s gonna lose her shit. She’s gonna wear one of those glittery dresses to try and impress him and I am not going to be the one to usher her out of it,” his sister giggles.

“Ugh, goodnight. I hate you.”

“Love you too, David! Can’t wait to meet this mystery man .”

She starts making kissy faces at the screen as David hangs up, and he scowls in the privacy of his living room. His night has been completely ruined thanks to no one but himself, with the show on a mere murmur as his brain tries to make complete sense of what just occurred.

He’d been forced into lying by his younger sister, and now his entire family expected him to bring a goddamn boyfriend along with him to their stupid holiday party. He leans back on the couch, digging his palms into his eyes, when his phone buzzes with a text message.

It’s from his mother, and the contents of it are simply Can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner, but congratulations. So excited to see you and your little bachelor. Alexis worked fast.

David whimpers and drinks straight from the wine bottle.

After a long, very fitful sleep, he wakes up the next morning and tries, once again, to come to terms with the fact of his lie. He was screwed; royally so. How in the world was he going to find a goddamn boyfriend in less than two days? He was supposed to leave the twentieth, and it was already the nineteenth; he was most definitely not going to find someone who wanted to be his fake significant other for a week in twelve hours.

So he doesn’t try, instead opting for brooding behind the counter of his beloved store while absolutely no customers come in. It’s a slow afternoon, something David would usually be thankful for, but without the rush of customers, there was no one to distract him from his awaiting, perfectly crafted grave that was his nonexistent boyfriend. And then, like heaven sent, the bell rings, and a broad smile comes in.

“I brought coffee,” Patrick chimes, shaking the plastic bag filled with what David assumes is lunch, and the man behind the register laughs. “I hope it isn’t in there, ” he responds, “or else I’m pretty sure we’ll have to drink from plastic bags.”

Patrick just looks at him, an amused grin on his face, before making his way to the front of the counter to place the food and drink down. He got it from Café Tropical, a place just a block away from their store, David knows; it’s the only place they get food from anymore. Its menu is so vast David’s eyes hurt just glancing at it; which is probably why they get mozzarella sticks every time they make a date to go there.

But it isn't a date. It’s just like… bro dinner. Or something.

Shaking away the thought of where his lunch was from, he digs in, savoring the taste of a tuna sandwich on his tongue. God, Patrick knew him so well; it was always his preferred lunch, even though the tuna was probably in the cafe’s freezer for more than a year, and he enjoyed it so much that he didn’t hear his business partner call his name three times.

“Hello? Earth to David, David are you there?” Patrick asks, waving a hand in front of his face, and he blinks back to life. ”Sorry, sorry,” David offers, sighing gently, “just zoned out there a bit.”

“Yeah, you’ve been doing that a lot today,” the brunette points out, and David quirks an eyebrow at him in an expression similar to what’s that supposed to mean? Clearly, Patrick picks up on this, and elaborates.

“Well, you dropped the entire package of lip balms that we got in today, and when I tried to continue our little joke about body milks, you just nodded and didn’t even try to argue with me. Kind of out of character, don’t you think?”

David clicks his tongue, not necessarily disagreeing with the other’s assumption. “Okay, fine, so I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

And just like that, Patrick’s shifting closer, questioning him with a worried look. “What’s wrong?” He asks, putting his own sandwich down, and David’s heart thuds at the genuine concern in the other man’s voice. Patrick’s always been kind, always been caring, and it’s so tough not to take it all to heart and mistake it for something else. But he did, and he does, and he’ll make do.

At this, though, David can’t help but pace, so he gets up from behind the register and abandons his sandwich to stride back and forth through their shop. Patrick, ever the listener, pushes their food to one end of the counter, hoisting himself up on the other half and to look at David expectantly. He’s swinging his legs just the slightest bit, brown eyes alight with curiosity, and David tries not to let his gaze linger.

“So, you know that big holiday party my parents have every year?” He asks, and Patrick nods. “The one you… never attend,” he quips back, letting a pleased expression slide onto his lips; something too similar to Alexis’s the night before. “Yes.” David confirms, faux-frowning at his demeanor, and it’s one of the sweetest things when Patrick has to stifle his laugh behind his hand.

“I finally decided to go, right?” Patrick nods once more, and this time doesn’t say anything, urging the other to continue on. “So I told my mom a few weeks beforehand, so she could get everything ready. Now, my parents have this thing with me that every time they call, they ask me if I have a stupid… significant other.” At this, Patrick raises an eyebrow and suppresses a smile, and David scoffs.

“C’mon, Patrick, this is serious.”

He laughs. “I didn’t say anything, but okay.”

“And when my mom called, I said I wasn’t bringing anyone. But then, my stupid fucking sister Alexis calls me, makes me out to be someone who can’t date, and then forces me to lie about having a boyfriend which I clearly don’t have,” David finishes, crossing his arms and spinning around to look at Patrick, who’s just staring at him with his lips slightly parted in mild shock.

“What?” David asks, voice self-justifying, and Patrick chuckles, shaking his head.

“This is… quite the grave you’ve dug yourself,” he responds, sliding off of the counter once more, and he taps his foot as he thinks. “Are you sure Alexis forced you into saying you had a boyfriend or-?”

“Fine, maybe I said I did because she was damaging my pride and I am not here for that, but she’s the one who started it, so.” The sweater-clad man says pragmatically, even though the situation is anything but; and Patrick shakes his head once more. “Deep shit, David, deep shit,” he says slowly, almost cringing to himself, and David throws his hands up in the air.

“I came to you for advice, Patrick! Not to be ridiculed!” He exclaims, and Patrick looks up at him with amusement. “Right, right. Like I’m the best person to come to for relationship advice,” he says, sucking in air through his teeth, and it’s David’s turn to give him a deadpan look.

“You’re also the only person I thought who wouldn’t laugh at me, but here we are.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry,” Patrick states, still giggling, and he slides back up to the counter again, taking another bite of his own tuna sandwich. “Have you… considered going on one of those dating apps to try and find someone? Grindr or whatever?”

David makes a displeased face. “Absolutely not. You should know by now that I am a man of standards, Patrick,” he says, blinking at him incredulously, and his business partner snorts again. Why does he have to be so adorable?

“Of course you are, but I can tell you’re also pretty desperate, so I didn’t want to… put it off the table,” he says, clearly joking, and David can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation, too. “Honestly, if you can’t think of anything today, I might as well,” he admits, and Patrick hits him lightly on the shoulder. “See? That’s the spirit!” He chimes, and David rolls his eyes.

“But we don’t want that!”

“Yes, alright, you’ve made that clear,” Patrick murmurs, stroking his chin with his thumb as he thinks. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he did so, and he purses his lips together before straightening up, snapping his fingers and saying, “how about Stevie?”

At this, David tilts his head at him, waiting for the punchline and Patrick’s lovely, tinkling laughter. But after a few beats, with Patrick’s smile faltering just the slightest bit, David realizes that there is no punchline and has to hold back the laughter bubbling in his chest.

“You’re absolutely right, she’s the perfect solution,” he says slowly, nodding at the same speed, “Stevie is the best choice to introduce to my family as my new boyfriend . Wow, how did I not think of that?”

There is the laughter, and Patrick’s sweet beam when he realizes his mistake. Instead of answering and facing the full wrath of David’s sarcasm he pauses to take another bite of his three-fourths finished sandwich. “I don’t know, she seems like the most decent person to take; she’s the most no-nonsense out of us, I think she can handle their… what do you call it? Powerful nature?”

David laughs. “I’m sure I’ve called it that at some point, and yeah, would be nice, but I’ve… technically already taken her. And even she couldn’t handle it.” Patrick looks at him, disbelieving. “That,” he says, pointing a finger into David’s fluffy fabricated chest, “is a story for another time.”

“Mhm, sure,” the man responds, “another time, definitely. But what else can I do? There’s no one in the world who would-,”

“What about me?”

David recoils and blinks for a few seconds to try and register the words that have just come out of his coworker’s mouth. “I’m… sorry?” He asks, his entire body moving with his question, and suddenly his appetite is gone.

“I said,” Patrick chuckles, kicking the other gently, “what about me? I’m starting to get a little offended that I hadn’t even been considered… do you think I’ll make a terrible impression?” David would laugh, but he can hear a little bit of hurt in Patrick’s tone, and he shakes his head to deny the self-deprecating comment.

“That’s… no, oh my God, that’s not it at all,” he reassures, and he’s so caught up in recovering the conversation that he doesn’t notice the way Patrick’s shoulders relax and his eyes flicker down to David’s lips. “I don’t know, I thought you would’ve offered by now, or that you were busy, or…”

“Am I supposed to be a mind reader?” Patrick teases, and David laughs breathily. “Not at all, actually; my parents decided to go to Costa Rica this year, leaving their poor son to fend alone in freezing New York weather. So kind of them, right?”

“Absolutely,” David responds, “and perfect for our case. But… you’re serious? You’d do that?”

“Definitely!” Patrick agrees, not a hint of hesitation in his tone, and David is flattered. “I can get all packed by tonight, and we can meet back here tomorrow. I am a quick worker, as I’m sure you’ve noticed,” he teases, quoting David from a few minutes before, and at this he smiles.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, “so much. I literally owe you so much from this-,”

“ Please ,” Patrick insists, patting David’s hand gently, “it’s my pleasure.”

At this, Patrick jumps off of the register, cleaning up his own food before offering David a wry smile. “Don’t want to let that get too warm,” he reminds, more joking than legitimate, but the shop owner appreciates it anyway. As Patrick goes into the back room to throw away his lunch, David exhales, eyes fluttering closed, and tries to swallow down the lump forming in his throat.

Because it wasn’t as if he’d thought to not ask Patrick to come; in fact, he’d thought about it as soon as he’d gotten off of the phone with Alexis. He was one of the closest friends David had, someone he could legitimately trust, and he didn’t want to ruin it. But now, by taking him on this silly little Christmas excursion, he was risking revealing one of the only things Patrick didn’t know about him.

The fact that, ever since they’d agreed to be business partners, David’s had the biggest crush on Patrick Brewer.