Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Perry the Platypus!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed as Perry crashed through his ceiling. “How nice of you to drop in!”

Perry barely had the chance to roll his eyes before a children’s playpen overturned on top of him. Metal brackets sprung from the floor and clamped the structure down. The platypus tried to pick the playpen up or push it over, but it was stuck tight to the floor.

"And by nice, I mean not nice at all!" Doofenshmirtz grinned and gestured grandly to the large ray behind him. “Behold! The Youth-inator!”

Perry raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, yes, I know I’ve already tried to turn Roger into a baby. This is different!”

Perry raised his other eyebrow.

“The Youth-inator will turn him into a teenager! Then he will no longer be old enough to be mayor!”

Perry shook his head and went back to trying to get out of the trap, keeping one ear open to listen to Doofenshmirtz’s monologue. The man was rambling about Roger, and Perry didn't think the animosity in his voice was as strong as it had been when Heinz had mentioned his brother. He wondered what had happened between then and now that had smoothed some of the jagged edges of the man's anger. Maybe it was just time.

What was Heinz doing now? It had been almost two months since the platypus had been brought back from the past. A lot could happen in two months.

He shook his head and scowled. That was an illogical thought. Perry knew exactly what he was doing. The man was currently pacing in front of the Youth-inator, ranting about how someone couldn't hold public office when they weren't old enough to vote.

But he couldn't help picturing Heinz as he had been when Perry had last seen the boy, pale and covered in blood with a hastily stitched together stump where his right arm had been. He couldn't help comparing that image to what Doofenshmirtz had shown him of Heinz at the science fair and wondering how much Doofenshmirtz had toned down that memory. There was no way a child would be looking that healthy after receiving a hasty field amputation not a month prior. Were his awful excuses for parental figures still starving him, still forcing him to stand out in the yard during the cold Drusselsteinian nights? Were they letting the boy heal properly? Perry doubted it.

He wished there was something he could do, but he was back in his own time. And even if he was somehow able to go back there, the boy wouldn't remember him anyway.

Perry was absolutely not grieving for Heinz. Why would he? He had grown up just fine. Arguably. But Heinz Doofenshmirtz was alive and… well, he was alive at any rate. Perry had no reason to grieve for Heinz.

It was just that sometimes he wanted to have someone who he didn’t have to pretend with. Because he loved his boys, but he was their pet, and Doofenshmirtz saw him as Perry the Platypus, not as just Perry.

Not as Herr Schnabltier.

Perry shook his head and refocused on the trap. He just had to slice through the mesh here and…

Dr. Doofenshmirtz adjusted a few switches and the age dial. A webbed foot smashed into the side of his head just as he began to aim the ray off the balcony. He went flying, skidding across the ground until he hit the railing. Perry landed on the control panel and flipped off into a fighting stance.

Doofenshmirtz pulled himself up, only to be tackled from the side. He tried to grab onto Perry and pull him off, but Perry clung on tightly, climbing up the man’s lab coat. He was almost to the doctor’s head when he was pried off and thrown into the Youth-inator.

The machine spun around on its base wildly. Perry turned and leaped at Doofenshmirtz again, feeling a dial turn under his foot as he sprung off the metal surface. The man rolled out of the way before scrambling to his feet. He deflected Perry’s next attack with his arm and scrambled towards the ray, but Perry was faster, jumping over the man’s head and getting between him and the -inator.

Doofenshmirtz darted to the side, and Perry moved to intercept him. They both attacked at the same time, and their collision sent them both flying. Perry hit the control panel again and wondered if he shouldn’t just hit the self-destruct button already, he'd landed on the -inator three times so far, but he was having so much fun that he didn’t want to end the fight just yet.

He became aware of the machine humming. The front of the ray began to glow, and Perry scrambled off the control panel just in time for the Youth-inator to fire a burst of bright yellow light.

Perry readied himself for a sneak attack, but after a moment of nothing, he glanced around. No sign of Doofenshmirtz. He crept around the machine, looking for the doctor. Instead, he came face to face with someone he never thought he’d see again.

Heinz was absolutely swimming in his older counterpart’s lab coat. It didn’t help that Doofenshmirtz’s prosthetics were still stuck in the sleeves, pulling the coat down off the boy’s shoulders. Perry blinked, staring at the boy. Heinz hadn’t noticed him yet and was currently looking at the lab coat with confusion. The Youth-inator was supposed to turn the person hit by it into a teenager, right? Not a child? That’s what Doofenshmirtz had said.

He probably had a contingency plan for something like this. Perry chattered, hoping against hope that Doofenshmirtz had made this thing so that the subject retained their adult mind, like the time he turned himself into a teenager for that film festival (why he didn't just use that -inator now instead of building a new one, Perry couldn't fathom). The platypus didn’t think he could take it if Heinz didn’t recognize him.

The boy looked up and his eyes widened. Perry saw the recognition there. Good. That was good. He needed Doofenshmirtz to reverse the Youth-inator’s effect. He definitely did not feel any loss at seeing Heinz again when it wasn’t really Heinz.

The next words out of Heinz’s mouth froze Perry in place. “Herr Schnabltier?”

Perry stared blankly for a moment before the boy launched himself at the platypus. The lab coat fell to the ground, and Perry felt one arm encircle him. He hugged the boy back on reflex.

"I was so scared when I woke up, ” Heinz said into his shoulder, and Perry had to shift his brain to decipher the frantic German that the boy was speaking. “I didn’t know what had happened, my arm was gone and I couldn’t think straight and I didn’t even remember you! ”

Perry chattered and rested his paw on Heinz’s right shoulder. He could feel the numerous healed scars through the boy’s shirt that he knew ran down what remained of the boy’s arm. How long had it been for him? Those scars did not feel new.

“And when I got home, no one even noticed. ” Heinz squeezed Perry a little tighter before pulling back to look at him. The boy’s eyes had a sheen like he was trying not to cry, but he smiled at Perry nonetheless. “I was trying to build myself a new arm, really I was almost done, but then I was suddenly here, with you! ”

Heinz paused and looked around, taking in the view of the city and the Youth-inator. “Where is here, anyway? ”

Perry stared blankly at Heinz. What on Earth had that machine done? It seemed like Heinz didn’t remember more than a few days after Perry had left, but his physical condition indicated that he’d had months if not a full year to heal…

Did the Youth-inator heal any major damage on the body that it caused its subject to regress into? That made some amount of sense. If it had healed Heinz’s head trauma, then that may explain why his memories were back. But why would Doofenshmirtz build the machine like that?

Perry decided that it didn't really matter what had happened. He'd long ago given up on making sense of Doofenshmirtz's schemes. What mattered was that it did happen, that Heinz was here in front of him and needed him.

He chattered noncommittally, unsure how to answer Heinz's question. He couldn't exactly tell the boy that he was in the future, or that his older self had made an -inator that had de-aged him. Perry wasn’t even sure he could convey such a complex thought to the boy, even though both Heinz and Doofenshmirtz were able to read him almost effortlessly.

What was he going to tell OWCA? He couldn’t just say that Doofenshmirtz had been de-aged. Monogram would insist on bringing the boy into their custody, and he wouldn’t subject Heinz to that. They were blasé enough with civilian safety at the best of times, and as they would see Heinz as the villain he had the potential to grow to be, it was likely there wouldn’t even be that much consideration for the state the boy was in. They would probably break him, even if it wasn’t intentional. Perry couldn’t let that happen.

Heinz started to softly scratch the side of Perry’s neck, startling him out of that train of thought. He leaned into the boy’s hand, trying not to panic over what he was going to do.

“You’re thinking pretty hard about something, aren’t you? ” Heinz asked. His voice was smiling, but after a moment, his hand stilled, and Perry looked up to see that the boy’s face had fallen. “Is it because you don’t want me here? I know you left, I’m sorry, I don’t even know how I got here— ”

Perry shook his head frantically and threw his arms around the boy. He couldn’t let Heinz think that Perry didn’t want him, that Perry wanted to leave him.

Heinz’s left arm hesitantly snaked around Perry’s back again. There was nothing for it, really. He was going to have to bring Heinz home with him. He was sure all three of his boys would get along great.

Heinz had no idea what was going on, which had honestly become his default state of being in the past few days since he had woken up in the clearing near the dump with a dead goozim, a smashed machine, a throbbing headache, no right arm, and no memory of the last week of his life. He later found out about the science fair, which explained some things. He must have been in the clearing to work on his science fair project when the goozim had attacked. But that didn't explain who had killed the goozim, or who had stitched up his arm so neatly.

Now, he realized that it must have been Herr Schnabltier who did both of those things. Heinz was ashamed that he had completely forgotten his friend. The platypus had probably wanted to be somewhere away from Heinz while he recovered, or maybe he had gotten sick of Heinz after the goozim and didn't want to be around him any more.

Heinz wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed to teleport to wherever they were now. That must have been what happened. He couldn't think of any other explanation as to why he'd been walking in the woods one moment and the next he was here, on some sort of balcony way up in the sky in what must be a city. He hadn't even known buildings could be this big!

And then he'd seen Herr Schnabltier. For a split second, he didn't recognize the platypus— not with that strangely appropriate fedora— but then he remembered everything. He was sure that Herr Schnabltier knew how he had gotten there, but the platypus seemed unwilling to tell him.

Not that he blamed him.

Even now, the platypus leaned away from him and chattered into… his watch? Heinz didn’t know Herr Schnabltier wore a watch. Then the watch talked back. Heinz had definitely never heard of a watch that could talk before. He couldn’t understand what the watch was saying, it was some language that Heinz didn’t know, but he picked out his last name from the incomprehensible words.

Was the watch talking to Herr Schnabltier about him? He supposed that if the platypus owned the watch, he must have told it about him, but Heinz wasn’t entirely sure why it was talking out loud. Heinz knew Herr Schnabltier could read. Maybe the watch face was too small to read from.

The platypus gave the watch a sharp salute. It must be quite awkward to salute one of your wrists. Heinz wondered why Herr Schnabltier had done that. Was he talking to someone through the watch?

Heinz wasn’t sure he liked that idea. People said a lot of mean things about him, and he didn’t want the platypus to hear them. Or say them.

Herr Schnabltier chattered questioningly, looking at the boy with concern evident in his eyes.

Heinz smiled weakly. “I’m fine.” The platypus looked doubtful, but didn’t pry. He was glad. Now that the excitement of seeing Herr Schnabltier and being in a strange place was wearing off, his arm was starting to ache. What was left of his arm, anyway.

He was sort of surprised that it didn’t hurt more, to be honest. Heinz was used to functioning through pain, but the last few days had been difficult. Between trying to get used to only having one arm to the constant ache of the stump to forgetting himself and trying to use the arm anyway, which sent pain rippling through his entire body, he’d been hard pressed to even be a proper lawn gnome the past few nights. Thankfully he was almost done with a temporary replacement arm, which would give him enough function to build a better one.

Heinz guessed that the replacement arm would need to wait until he got home. Which would probably be when Herr Schnabltier got tired of him. He wasn’t in any hurry for that to happen.

The platypus must have sensed his thoughts because he pulled back from Heinz’s one-armed embrace. His heart sank. Herr Schnabltier couldn’t be tired of him already. The platypus took one step away from him, then motioned for Heinz to follow.

Oh. Ok, following. Heinz could do that. He slowly pulled himself to his feet, a far more difficult task with only one arm. Once he caught his balance, he looked up, half-expecting the platypus to have continued walking, forcing Heinz to rush to catch up.

Herr Schnabltier was still standing in the same spot, waiting, with a small smile on his bill.

Heinz smiled back.

He followed the platypus past a large machine that he had initially missed completely, too busy with the strangeness of the city and seeing Herr Schnabltier again. Heinz itched to inspect it, maybe take it apart and find out what it did and how it worked, but the platypus kept walking and Heinz did not want to be left behind. Besides, it was hard to get any work done with only one arm.

Herr Schnabltier led him off of the balcony and into a large workshop area. Heinz’s eyes widened. The things that he could do with the parts in here! Who did this place belong to? He didn’t think that the platypus was all that technically-minded, not with the near apathy that he’d had towards the actual construction of the time machine.

He still wasn’t sure why Herr Schnabltier wanted him to build a time machine so badly. He’d probably never find out.

The platypus walked right through the workshop, slowing a little when Heinz’s steps lagged as he saw something particularly interesting, before ushering the boy out into the hall and locking the door behind them. He tucked the key into his hat, then put the hat… somewhere. It looked like the platypus had tucked the fedora into some kind of pocket on his back, but when he turned to walk down the hall, his back looked the same as it had always been: uninterrupted teal fur. Weird.

At the end of the hall was an elevator, and Herr Schnabltier had to stand on his toes to reach the button. Of course a building this tall had an elevator in it. Heinz had never been in an elevator before— there weren’t any buildings in Gimmelshtump tall enough to have one, and Heinz had never been so far from his hometown before.

The elevator doors opened, revealing a small room with shiny metal walls. Herr Schnabltier nodded towards the open elevator, and Heinz rushed in, not needing to be told twice.

Elevators were fast. Or at least, this one was. It took far less time than Heinz had thought it would for the elevator to go all the way to the bottom floor. He barely had time to enjoy the ride before the doors opened and he was following Herr Schnabltier out of the elevator. The platypus opened the nearby door for him, and he stepped out of the building.

It was loud. Really loud, louder than being up on the balcony with the wind. There were cars roaring down the street, more than he’d ever seen in his life. He could hear sirens somewhere, and people yelling everywhere. Heinz tried to cover his ears, but only his left ear ended up protected. His stump of a right arm protested the movement. Right. At least the pain wasn’t incapacitating like it had been the past few days.

Something tugged on his pants, and he jumped. Looking down, he saw Herr Schnabltier. Oh. The platypus was holding a helmet of some kind, and had one already on his head. The helmet did nothing to mask the concerned look on his face.

Heinz managed a weak smile. Herr Schnabltier frowned and motioned for him to lean over. He did, feeling like he’d somehow done something wrong.

The platypus gently pulled Heinz’s left hand away from his ear and put the helmet onto his head. Instantly, the city sounds were muffled to a manageable level. Heinz barely even noticed the platypus buckling the helmet on.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, hating the way his voice was shaking.

Herr Schnabltier smiled. It was a really nice smile, and Heinz smiled back, suddenly feeling better.

He followed the platypus around the corner of the building, where a motor scooter was parked. Herr Schnabltier hopped onto the seat, needing to stand upright to reach the handlebars. Heinz wondered how the platypus had managed to acquire a scooter the exact shade of teal that he was.

Herr Schnabltier looked at Heinz expectantly, and Heinz gingerly climbed onto the seat behind him. He carefully curled his arm around the platypus, not wanting to crush the smaller mammal. If he was able to hold on with both arms, he might have felt more secure, but, well. He would have to make do.

Clearly, Herr Schnabltier deemed his grip strong enough, because Heinz felt the scooter rumble to life under them. He closed his eyes, not really wanting to see how fast they were going and panic again. The scooter started moving, and he clung onto his friend tighter.

After a few long, tense moments, Heinz relaxed into the motion of the scooter. He found himself leaning through the turns along with Herr Schnabltier, and a smile crept onto his face. He didn’t open his eyes, but he did feel the wind on his face and felt something like happiness.

The moment was over all too soon. The scooter slowed to a stop, and Heinz regretfully opened his eyes. They had stopped in the middle of a suburban neighborhood. The houses were so much larger than the ones in Gimmelshtump, each on a plot of bright green grass. They varied, too, unlike the identical houses back at home.

Heinz didn’t see a single garden gnome. He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Herr Schnabltier chirped, and Heinz quickly released his arm. The platypus looked amused, and motioned for him to take off his helmet. Herr Schnabltier took it from his grasp, then hopped off the scooter and gestured for Heinz to do the same. Heinz carefully climbed off the scooter, trying to maintain his balance.

The platypus tucked both helmets into the storage under the scooter's seat, before tugging Heinz to stand a few feet away. Herr Schnabltier then pulled a remote out from behind his back and pressed a button. The section of the street the scooter was parked on rotated over, then rotated back with the scooter now absent.

Heinz stared at the now empty road for a moment. That was pretty cool, if entirely unexpected.

He glanced at Herr Schnabltier. The platypus was now on all fours and was looking right at Heinz. Come on, there’s someone I want you to meet.

Heinz followed his friend. What else could he do?

They walked down the street a way. It was a nice enough day, with a bright blue sky and very few clouds. It seemed like the sun was thinking about setting, but wasn’t quite there yet. Which was odd, because Heinz would have sworn it was still morning just before he ended up on the balcony. That wasn’t the strangest thing about this situation, though.

That honor probably had to go to the way that Herr Schnabltier suddenly went walleyed and seemed to almost physically shift to look more like a creature than what he knew his friend to be. Heinz looked around, alarmed, wondering if something was wrong, but a reassuring chatter cut that thought off.

The chatter also caught the attention of two boys in a nearby yard, who rushed towards them.

Heinz took a step back, ready to run at the first sign of hostility, but he was completely ignored by the first boy, who simply kneeled down and started petting Herr Schnabltier. The boy had bright red hair and an almost triangular face, and said something to the platypus that Heinz could not understand.

The other boy looked right at Heinz. He had bright green hair, which couldn’t be natural, and was giving Heinz an assessing look, face stoic. Heinz shrunk back into himself a little.

Were these the people that Herr Schnabltier wanted him to meet? The platypus seemed right at home in the redhead's arms, though he was still completely wall-eyed.

The redhead said something, and it took Heinz a moment to realize that it was directed at him. He stared blankly for a moment before shaking his head. He couldn’t understand a word of what the other boy was saying, just as he couldn’t understand what Perry’s watch had said. It was clearly another language, but beyond that Heinz had no clue.

He wasn’t sure how to respond when the redhead seemed to repeat himself. Heinz didn’t want to make the boys angry. He was used to other people hurting him, but he couldn’t let them hurt Herr Schnabltier.

The two boys shared a look. Heinz could tell it was full of meaning, but he couldn’t decipher it. After a long moment, the redhead pointed to himself.

“Phineas,” the boy said slowly. Heinz blinked, then realized it was an introduction. Cautiously, he nodded.

Phineas’ smile was brilliant. He pointed to the other boy and said, “Ferb.”

What a strange name. Heinz nodded again slowly. Phineas pointed at him, and for a moment he panicked before realizing that he was being asked for his name. Quietly, he said, “Heinz.”

Phineas’s smile grew. Herr Schnabltier smiled, too, though he still maintained his strange wall-eyed look. Even Ferb seemed to smile a little.

Hesitantly, Heinz smiled too.

Chapter Text

Perry relaxed as his boys effortlessly adjusted to Heinz not speaking English. He recognized the sparkle in Phineas’ eyes and was sure that he was already thinking of a way around the language barrier. After all, they had already devised a way to translate what animals said. It should be a piece of cake for the two to find a way to communicate with their new friend.

It was really Heinz that Perry was worried about. The boy was still curled into himself, looking for all the world like he was waiting for a blow to come even as a fragile smile spread across his face.

The platypus walked over and leaned against the boy’s legs. He couldn’t do much more to comfort Heinz, not while keeping his cover intact, but he had to do something.

His cover was in a precarious position already. He wasn’t sure how he was going to explain this to Doofenshmirtz, and could only hope that he wouldn’t remember this when he got back. Keeping this from OWCA was bad enough. Perry didn’t want to have to bring out the Amnesia-inator again to protect his family.

He didn't think about how much the man forgetting him again would hurt.

At least Major Monogram bought the lie Perry had fed him; that Doofenshmirtz had given himself the flu with his latest invention and would be out of action for several days. That gave Perry some time to try to figure out how to reverse this.

Heinz crouched down and scratched Perry. He seemed a little unsteady, probably not used to keeping his balance with one arm. Perry leaned into his hand, both to try to help keep the boy stable and to show his appreciation. He knew Heinz was worried about him. Perry had never felt the need to go into pet-mode around the boy before, and it was probably pretty jarring for him.

“Aw, you like Heinz, don't you, boy?” Phineas said, and Perry let out a pleased churr in response.

He felt Heinz shift, probably to look up at the mention of his name, but he didn't stop scratching Perry so it was probably okay.

“Boys!” Linda called from the direction of the house, and Perry felt Heinz stiffen again. “Dinner's almost ready!”

Perry looked up to see Linda standing on the front porch, smiling. Phineas and Ferb both walked towards the door, and Perry started to follow. Heinz hesitated, and when Perry turned to look at the boy his face was unsure. The platypus made eye contact, briefly dropping his wall-eyed expression, and tilted his head towards the house.

Heinz bit his lip, but slowly and with some difficulty rose to his feet. Perry waited for him to start walking, then led him to the door where Phineas, Ferb, and Linda were waiting for the platypus.

“There you are, Perry,” Linda said with an indulgent smile, echoing Phineas’ earlier words. “Who's your new friend?”

Heinz shifted from foot to foot when Linda looked at him, but Phineas was the one who responded.

“This is Heinz,” the boy said.

Perry held his breath, but all Linda said was, “He can have dinner with us if you want.”

Phineas smiled brightly and grabbed Heinz's hand to drag him into the house. Heinz looked alarmed but followed easily, staring at their hands. Perry and Ferb followed at a marginally more sedate pace, while Linda closed the door behind them.

Ferb studied Heinz, his eyes catching on the missing limb that his brother had not noticed. Perry could tell that Ferb was taking in every aspect of the newcomer's being and trying to figure him out, though the platypus wasn't sure Ferb would be able to puzzle everything out on his own. Ferb had always had a loving family, and although he had experienced grief and being alone in a strange place at an early age, he simply didn't have the framework to actually understand Heinz.

Perry wasn't sure he did, either. OWCA didn’t train them in how to deal with traumatic backstories beyond beating up the person telling them, and he was sure that didn’t apply to this situation.

Candace was already in the dining room when they got there, loudly overanalyzing the day she'd spent with Jeremy to Lawrence while they both carried food out to the table. Lawrence would occasionally interject with a “That sounds nice, dear,” but he didn't need to. When Candace got going she didn't pay attention to anything that wasn't the object of her focus.

Phineas dropped Heinz's hand and grabbed an extra chair from the corner to pull up to the table, while Ferb entered the kitchen and returned with an extra place setting. Heinz stared as the boys set an extra place between where the two of them usually sat. He didn’t seem to understand it was for him until Phineas waved him over excitedly.

Perry felt his heart break again. He curled up nearly on top of Heinz’s feet, needing to comfort the boy. Hopefully, the Flynn-Fletchers weren’t too much for him. Perry wanted this, wanted Heinz to be a part of his family, but if it wasn’t going to work there were probably other options. Maybe. He couldn’t think of any right now, but he was sure there was something.

He couldn’t see everyone from his spot under the table, but he could watch his boys — Heinz, Phineas, and Ferb. Heinz stared at his plate, looking like he was debating whether he’d be able to eat with only one hand. On the other side of the table, he heard Candace restart her description of her day, this time grilling Linda with questions examining every little thing Jeremy had done. Phineas, meanwhile, was talking about languages and theorizing about different ways to learn another one, since a translator didn’t really teach what it was translating.

“What brought this on?” Lawrence asked during one of Phineas’ pauses for breath. Ferb shot his brother a look, and Phineas obediently started to eat.

“Heinz doesn’t really speak English,” Phineas said between mouthfuls.

“Ah,” Lawrence said. “The perils of making international friends. He speaks German, then?”

Phineas shrugged, looking at Heinz. Heinz shrank into himself a bit more, and Perry leaned against the boy’s foot.

When Heinz didn’t respond, Lawrence tried again. “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”

Heinz looked up. “Ja,” he said quietly. His voice was timid, unlike the sure way he spoke to Perry. He looked like he wanted to add something else, but didn’t.

It was quiet for a few moments. Then Phineas frowned at Heinz, who still hadn’t started to eat. “Do you not like chicken?” he asked, not sounding like he was expecting an answer. After a moment of studying the other boy, he seemed to realize what was wrong.

“Oh! I’m sure it’s hard to eat with only one hand! Here, I’ll help.”

Heinz tensed when Phineas reached for his plate, but all Phineas did was cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces. “There!” he said, and Heinz looked at his plate a little dubiously, before giving Phineas a small smile.

Phineas shifted gears, talking about cyborgs and robotics and prosthetics. After a few more moments, Heinz began to eat. He ate quickly, like he was afraid that someone would take his food away. Ferb watched him with an unreadable expression, occasionally shooting another look at Phineas when he’d gone a few sentences without eating anything.

Perry laid his head down on Heinz’s foot. It seemed like his family was adapting to Heinz’s presence well. Linda was a bit oblivious, bless her, but he trusted that Lawrence would be able to pick up on Heinz’s behavior. The man could be incredibly observant when it suited him.

When everyone was done eating, the boys began gathering the dishes and bringing them into the kitchen. Heinz stood, looking like he wanted to help, but Phineas and Ferb worked too fast for him to do more than stand awkwardly. He seemed as stunned as everyone else did the first time they saw the brothers working in tandem.

After a moment, Heinz shuffled over to Lawrence. He was looking at the ground, curled into himself, and Perry’s heart ached to see the boy afraid of such a gentle man as Lawrence.

Lawrence watched Heinz with a sad look. There was no pity in his eyes, which was good, but there was a measure of acknowledgment and grief that made Perry feel sure that the man had recognized Heinz’s behavior.

After a moment, Heinz spoke in a halting voice. “Thank you for your hospitality , Herr…?”

Lawrence smiled. “Lawrence Fletcher,” he responded. “Don’t mention it.”

Heinz blinked, then, in a surer voice, asked, “You speak German?”

Lawrence chuckled. “Only a little, son.” He looked as though he wanted to pat the boy on the shoulder, but refrained.

Heinz looked a little stunned at the endearment. Perry felt like growling because it was likely that this was the first time anyone had called the boy that. His parents had certainly never acknowledged him as such.

Perry walked over to Heinz and leaned against his legs, churring softly. The boy startled. Perry could feel Lawrence looking at both of them with a fond expression.

After a few moments, Perry heard the sound of a can being opened in the kitchen. He took a step back, looking up at Heinz. The boy had clearly been watching Lawrence, but his eyes snapped down to look at Perry when the platypus moved. He looked a bit shell-shocked. Perry supposed that the Flynn-Fletchers could be a bit much at times, and this was on top of all the confusion of the preceding several hours. If Perry was in Heinz’s place, he’d probably feel shell-shocked too.

Phineas’ voice drifted out of the kitchen. “Perry, dinner!”

Perry reluctantly pulled himself away from Heinz and padded into the kitchen. He ate as fast as possible, which involved swallowing nearly the entire bowl in one go.

After slurping up the remains of his food, he hurried back to Heinz. Phineas and Ferb were already flanking him. Heinz looked a touch panicked, but he seemed to relax a little when he spotted Perry.

Phineas looked ready to grab Heinz’s hand and drag him into the den when Linda’s voice interrupted him.

“Is Heinz spending the night?”

The boys exchanged a quick glance over Heinz’s shoulder before Phineas called out an affirmative.

“Make sure to show him the guest room."

The guest bedroom was large and comfortable. There was space to walk on either side of the large bed, and on the opposite wall was a large window that looked out onto the street. The pale cream of the walls and blue of the covers looked so much brighter and more welcoming than anything back in Gimmelshtump. Heinz tentatively stepped into the room, almost afraid to sully the peace with his presence.

He reached out to touch the soft-looking duvet. His hand sank into the plush surface. It was softer than nearly anything he'd ever felt before, save perhaps Herr Schnabltier or Mama Ocelot. It was certainly softer than anything he had ever slept on. He was used to the hard ground of the forest or the barely padded cot in his room at home. Not… this.

Sighing shakily, Heinz started to pull off his shirt. He didn't have pajamas to wear, but it felt wrong somehow to sleep in his clothes in a place as nice as this.

He did his best to fold his shirt neatly, which was a process with only one arm. After a small struggle, he managed to get it looking neater than just leaving it on the floor in a heap.

Heinz paused and breathed in, ready for the omnipresent pain from his missing arm to hit him now that he had a moment to relax. Strangely, the pain stayed mostly constant, the same lingering ache that had been there since he'd ended up on the roof with Herr Schnabltier. He looked down at his now-exposed stump, frowning.

The skin was a healthy pink color with long shiny scars snaking along the entirety of the stump and up to his shoulder. It was definitely not the angry, red, stitched-together patchwork mess it had been this morning.

Heinz touched the scars with his shaking left hand, expecting to feel excruciating pain, but there was only a dull ache. They were smooth under his fingers, smoother than what little surrounding skin was left. He traced the ridges and valleys and craters, not quite able to believe what he was feeling.

How much time had he lost?

Wounds like this didn’t heal that fast. Even minor injuries could take weeks to heal, at least for Heinz. But the scars on his stump felt old, fully healed, which wasn’t possible in the span of the few days that he could remember.

Losing a week had been strange, but he’d chalked it up to a head injury. It had made sense. But this… Had he lost months? Years? What had he forgotten? Who had he forgotten? He forgot Herr Schnabltier last time, and Herr Schnabltier had been the best thing to happen to him since before his ocelot family found passage back to South America. Herr Schnabltier had even been better than Balloony. And Heinz had forgotten him.

What else had Heinz forgotten? Could he even trust that he’d found Herr Schnabltier, that he hadn’t made this up? Could he trust that he hadn't made Herr Schnabltier up entirely?

The room was starting to get dark and blurry, and it was getting harder to breathe. Was this a side effect of how he’d lost his memory? No wonder Herr Schnabltier wouldn’t tell him how he’d gotten here. He should know, but he couldn’t remember.

Stupid. Schnitzel. Dummkopf. How could he forget? He was in a place that he had no knowledge of, but he should remember it. Idiot.

Faintly, he heard a chatter. It sounded familiar. He should remember this, how stupid was he?

The chatter came again, and this time he connected it. Herr Schnabltier. How could he forget the platypus again? Heinz forced himself to look at the blur of teal in front of him, but his eyes weren’t focussing properly. He tried to say something. All that came out was a wheezy choked gasp.

Something grabbed his hand, and Heinz felt himself flinch violently. The thing didn’t let go, instead placing his hand on something firm and warm and furry. He buried his fingers into the fur and felt his hand rise up and down with the surface, slowly and deliberately.

After a few moments, breathing got easier and his thoughts slowed down a little. He blinked his eyes a few times to clear his vision.

Herr Schnabltier was on the bed, staring at him with concerned eyes. Heinz’s hand was tangled in the fur on the platypus’ back. He tried to smile at his friend, but his face refused to cooperate. Instead, he closed his eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath. It hurt, rattling through his sore throat and lungs, but his head started to feel a little clearer.

The platypus chattered again, and Heinz sank down on the bed. Herr Schnabltier immediately climbed into his lap. When the boy opened his eyes again, he was staring intently. Are you okay?

“I’m fine,” Heinz said shakily.

Herr Schnabltier looked unimpressed, but he didn’t push.

They sat in silence for a while. Heinz tried to smooth down the platypus’ fur where he’d dug his fingers into it and ended up simply petting his back. Herr Schnabltier snuggled further into Heinz in response. After a while, he found himself lying on the bed, a platypus on his chest, beginning to drift off to sleep.

If he woke up in his room in Gimmelshtump, at least he’d seen Herr Schnabltier again.

Heinz woke to thundering footsteps through the hall and down the stairs. He bolted up into a sitting position, dumping the platypus who had been sleeping on his chest onto his lap. Herr Schnabltier shot him a betrayed look.

He looked around. The same bedroom he'd fallen asleep in last night greeted him, rather than his room at home as he'd almost expected.

Okay. That's good. Just don't freak out again and everything will be fine.

Herr Schnabltier got up and stretched with a quiet chirp. Heinz smiled and patted the platypus on the head. He was tempted to stay in bed. The sun was shining in through the window, illuminating a warm patch right where Heinz was laying. The part of his mind that was still more ocelot than human purred in contentment at the golden light.

Heinz shoved that part of himself to the back of his mind and pulled his uncooperative body out of bed. Being an ocelot when he was supposed to be a human was a bad idea, and never ended well. Better to suppress it entirely.

He hadn't gotten as far as taking off his pants last night, too busy panicking about his arm. That was something he wasn't going to repeat. Nope, not panicking. Definitely not panicking.

Heinz focused on scooping his shirt up off the ground without toppling over. He felt a little strange wearing the same clothes two days in a row around other people, especially people he wanted to impress, but it wasn't like he had anything else to wear. At least this shirt wasn't threadbare like many of his clothes were.

He pulled the shirt on with a bit of difficulty. It only had one button, thankfully, and after a small struggle he managed to fasten it shut.

Heinz slid out into the hall with the intent of stopping in the bathroom to try to make himself as presentable as he could be. Granted, he never looked all that presentable even on a good day. But he could at least try to comb out his hair and wash his face.

Unfortunately, the bathroom was occupied. He could hear water flowing and a female voice singing. Heinz guessed it was the girl who had ignored him all dinner before watching him suspiciously when Phineas and Ferb had dragged him away. He couldn't make out the words, not that he would be able to understand them even if he could, but he thought her singing voice was very nice.

A chatter told him that Herr Schnabltier followed him out of the bedroom. He looked down. The platypus tilted his head towards the stairs. There's a bathroom down there.

Heinz nodded. Maybe he could slip into the downstairs bathroom without anyone noticing him. He crept down the staircase, sticking next to the wall to try to prevent any of the steps from squeaking. He knew from experience that it was far quieter to stay where the stairs were more supported, and thus much easier to stay invisible.

There were voices coming from the kitchen — a female voice that probably belonged to Frau Fletcher; a high, excited voice that definitely belonged to Phineas; and a deeper, steadier voice that more than likely belonged to Herr Fletcher. Hopefully he could avoid their attention, at least until he'd cleaned himself up. He didn't want to be kicked out yet.

Herr Schnabltier followed Heinz down the stairs and chattered loudly just as the kitchen came into view. Heinz shrank into himself as three pairs of eyes looked over at him — Phineas, Ferb, and Herr Fletcher, all three at the dining table in the same places as last night. Frau Fletcher didn't look up from whatever she was doing in the kitchen, but he couldn't help cringing away from the others’ gazes.

Phineas’ face broke into a grin at seeing Heinz. He smiled shakily back, not entirely sure how to respond.

“Good morning, Heinz,” Herr Fletcher said. It was nice that there was one person here who spoke German, even if it was only a little.

“Good morning!” Phineas said brightly, clearly parroting his father. Heinz doubted that he knew exactly what he was saying, though maybe this particular phrase sounded similar in whatever language that they spoke. Ferb waved, as quiet as he had been last night.

Heinz replied in a small voice. “Good morning.”

Ferb motioned to the seat between him and Phineas, the same one that Heinz had sat in last night. Heinz wasn’t sure what they were doing, having him sit between the two of them when they were clearly incredibly close. He wasn’t sure if it was some kind of trick or joke, some way to make fun of him. He slunk over to the chair anyway.

After hesitating a moment to make sure that the other boys really did want him to sit there, he gingerly sat down. He hadn’t even been able to look at himself in the mirror, so he didn’t know if his hair was sticking up in all different directions or anything. No one seemed to be staring, but that wasn’t the best metric.

A plate was set down in front of Heinz, making him jump a little. He looked up to see Frau Fletcher smiling at him.

“Thank you, Frau Fletcher,” he said, trying to remember the manners that he’d neglected last night. He didn’t want to have to leave just yet, and he didn’t want to give them a reason to turn him out.

Frau Fletcher laughed, then said something that ended with “Flynn-Fletcher.”

It took Heinz a moment to realize that she was correcting him. His face went hot and he tried to force out an apology through his suddenly tight throat, but Frau Flynn-Fletcher waved him off.

Dummkopf. He was always making stupid mistakes. He looked down at his plate, face flaming. It held scrambled eggs and toast, both easy to eat one-handed, and Heinz felt worse because she had gone to the effort of making him something that he could easily eat and he went and screwed up her name.

He shoveled the food into his mouth, not exactly tasting it through the haze of his anxiety. Which was a shame, because both this breakfast and dinner last night were leagues better than any of the food that he ever ate back home.

Heinz was vaguely aware of Phineas talking next to him. By the time he was done eating, the other boy was vibrating in his seat and all but dragged Heinz out to the back yard. Ferb followed just behind them.

In the shade of the tree in the center of the yard, Phineas pulled out a roll of blue paper and unrolled it onto the ground. At first, Heinz wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking at, because the paper was covered in writing that he couldn’t read. But he recognized various symbols and numbers, the way the lines of the drawing were put together.

It was a blueprint. Of an arm. A right arm.

Heinz looked from Phineas’ face to Ferb’s, searching for any hint in their expressions that this was a joke. Phineas was smiling proudly, not a hint of malice in his open expression. Ferb was harder to read, but he had the slightest smile on his face, and his eyes were kind.

There was no reason for these two boys to make something like this for someone that they’d met yesterday. Let alone someone like Heinz. But he couldn’t detect a hint of deception in their faces, and Heinz wanted to believe that this was real.

He grinned and nodded. Phineas and Ferb both nodded back.

Chapter Text

Perry watched the three boys interact from his favorite spot at the base of the tree. Phineas and Ferb worked in tandem, as they always did, but they left room for Heinz in their dynamic. Heinz orbited them, drawn in and slowly starting to fill that space. He looked tentative, like he wasn't entirely sure if he was allowed to join.

Every so often, Heinz would look over at Perry, checking that the platypus was still there. Perry met the boy's eyes each time, and each time Heinz seemed a little more confident.

The boys all worked together well despite the language barrier. Heinz slotted into the brothers' dynamic neatly, handing off tools and screwing together various bits of metal that Perry couldn't tell apart. As much as he loved all of his boys, he was completely lost when it came to their passion for building and creating. He knew some of the broad strokes, and could read a blueprint or re-engineer one of Doofenshmirtz’s simpler inventions, but the specifics went right over his head.

After a few minutes, the bits of metal had already begun to form a skeletal arm. It was a little eerie, but definitely interesting. Candace, of course, picked this moment to run out of the house and confront Phineas and Ferb.

"What are you making this time?" she demanded. Perry bit back a growl. He was usually alright with Candace's busting antics; he knew she only had the boys' best interests at heart. But today he wasn’t feeling particularly charitable.

Phineas greeted her with a blinding smile, oblivious as always to her exact intentions. "We're building Heinz a new arm!"

Candace had one finger raised, all ready to start telling her brothers off, but whatever she was about to say spluttered out when she registered Phineas' words. She looked between Phineas and Heinz, finger slowly sinking. Heinz, for his part, looked scared, and had half hidden himself behind Ferb.

"Oh," Candace said, visibly deflating. Then she perked up again. "I'll go inside and keep Mom busy!" She rushed back into the house.

Phineas watched her run off. "I wonder why Candace is acting so strange." He glanced at Ferb, who shrugged. Phineas shrugged back and started to work on the arm again.

After a second, he lifted his head as though a thought occurred to him. "Where's Perry?"

Ferb pointed at Perry, who chattered from his spot under the tree.

Phineas stared at Perry. "Huh," he said. "That's different."

Ferb nodded decisively, and both boys went back to work on the arm. After a few moments, Heinz slid out from behind Ferb and tentatively started to help again. He looked a bit baffled by what had just happened, but thankfully not particularly scared anymore.

Heinz's wariness continued to fall away, and by the time the three of them were finished building the actual arm he was working with the other two like he was always a part of their dynamic. Ferb seemed completely comfortable to have someone competent helping with the building, and Phineas looked downright thrilled by having someone else able to keep up with him and his brother. Perry had always suspected that, while the boys loved the friends that they had, they would benefit from working with someone who could understand them and work on their level. They'd certainly worked well with Doofenshmirtz when building the Otherdimensionator, no matter what a disaster that turned out to be.

Perry let his eyes close, content that all three boys were working together well. When he opened them again, which couldn’t have been more than a few seconds later, they had set up a full operating room in the middle of the backyard. Perry blinked, thrown at how fast they had managed to set it up, though he had seen them work at a similar pace before. But this was different. No matter what else they’d done, they were way too young to be performing surgery.

He got up and walked over to where Phineas and Ferb were donning scrubs and beginning to scrub themselves down. Heinz was sitting on a chair that looked like it was from a dentist’s office and didn’t look worried or scared at all. Why didn’t he look worried? Perry chattered loudly to get their attention, trying best he could to convey how bad of an idea this was without breaking his cover.

Phineas looked down. “Do you want to help, Perry?” He scooped Perry up off the ground and started to dress him in platypus-sized scrubs.

Perry was torn on trying to pull away. This was the opposite of what he wanted, he couldn’t condone or even ‘participate’ in this impromptu surgery. This would hurt Heinz, he knew it, he couldn’t let it happen. But he couldn’t just leave. If this was happening, and Phineas and Ferb were about to do who knows what to Heinz, Perry had to be there. He had to protect Heinz. He had to keep him safe, even from his other boys. Their ideas had always turned out well in the past, but this was different.

Before he knew it, Phineas had finished pulling a miniature surgical cap onto Perry’s head and plopped him onto Heinz’s lap. He turned and tried to convey to Heinz that this was a terrible idea. Heinz had to put a stop to this. Perry didn’t want to break his cover, didn’t want to lose his boys, didn’t know if he’d even be able to make himself break it, but he couldn’t lose Heinz either.

He could still feel the boy’s blood in his fur. No, he couldn’t lose Heinz. Not again.

“What’s wrong, Herr Schnabltier?” Heinz asked, laying his hand on Perry’s head.

Perry gave him another pleading look. The echo of Heinz’s face, white from blood loss and eyes glazed with pain, floated in front of his eyes. That can’t happen again. It can't .

“Hey, it’s okay,” Heinz said, but his voice was fuzzy and far away. Perry could feel himself shaking under the boy’s hand. Which was stupid. He shouldn’t be shaking, he should be doing something about this. He needed to be strong for Heinz, needed to convince him not to do this.

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to ruin your handiwork.” Heinz gave a small, self-deprecating laugh. Perry struggled to focus on the words over the sound of his blood rushing, but they didn’t make any sense. “We’re not doing surgery.”

What. What was that supposed to mean? Phineas and Ferb had created an operating room from nothing in the back yard and they weren’t going to do surgery?

“I was ready to implant some sort of joint in my arm, that’s what I was planning to do back at home, but Phineas and Ferb had an idea where I can control it without needing to hook it into my nervous system!” Heinz sounded excited, but Perry shuddered at the mental image of Heinz performing surgery on himself. That must have actually happened, he had a working prosthetic in the science fair backstory. Perry felt like throwing up.

Then the rest of that statement sunk in. They found a way to control the arm without implanting anything. It was feasible, he’d witnessed the boys do fantastical things before. Perry didn’t see how that could be a permanent solution, but then it didn’t need to be. They weren't doing surgery, they didn't need to.

Still. Why did Phineas and Ferb build an operating room?

Now that he thought about it, probably just because they wanted to.

Perry stayed curled on Heinz's lap for the entirety of the procedure, if you could even call it that. The boys had created a band of metal that encircled Heinz's stump just under his shoulder. The band was supposed to intercept the brain signals or something. Perry couldn't quite follow the explanation, between his hearing still being a little fuzzy and the scientific jargon. He watched everything intently, but it all seemed to go just fine.

The arm fit snugly onto the end of the stump, adhering itself without implanting anything, just a thin sock-like piece of fabric separating the skin from the new prosthetic. After a few moments, Heinz moved his new hand, then the rest of the arm.

"Look, Herr Schnabltier!" Heinz beamed, and Perry chattered happily back. In celebration, Heinz scooped Perry up in both arms and gave him a tight hug.

Both arms felt the same, with the new arm maybe a degree or two cooler. If Perry hadn't already known that the arm was fake, he probably wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

"Looks good!" Phineas chimed in. Heinz startled at the words, arms tightening briefly, as though he had forgotten that Phineas and Ferb were there.

Perry looked up at Phineas' beaming face. Ferb nodded at Heinz and Perry, then crouched down to Heinz's right and gestured gently to see the arm.

Heinz tentatively pulled his right arm from around Perry and held it out for Ferb to inspect. Ferb lightly grasped his wrist and turned it around, inspecting something. After a few moments, he released the arm and gave everyone a thumbs up. Heinz smiled back and wrapped his arm around Perry again.

Candace poked her head out the back door. “It’s time for lunch,” she called, not seeming phased by the operating room set up in the backyard. She’d definitely seen crazier things that her brothers build.

"Coming!" Phineas called. He pulled off his scrubs and threw them onto the tray that held all the scalpels that they didn't use. Ferb followed suit, discarding his mask on the counter next to the sink.

Perry shook himself, the scrubs slipping off his body and the surgical hat tumbling off his head onto the chair next to Heinz. The boy gave him a bright smile, insecurities temporarily forgotten in the rush of his new arm, and clutched Perry to his chest.

Heinz followed Phineas and Ferb inside. The arm must take some adjusting to, because Heinz seemed to be holding Perry quite tightly. Almost too tightly.

Perry chattered, out of breath. Instantly, Heinz loosened his grip.

"Sorry, Herr Schnabltier," he said, trying to put Perry down. Perry clung onto Heinz's shirt. He just wanted to breathe, not be put on the ground.

Heinz ended up carrying Perry into the house and eating with the platypus on his lap. Linda didn't even seem to notice. Candace sent a slightly disgusted look in their direction, but she didn't say anything.

After lunch, they went back out to the backyard. Ferb pulled out another set of blueprints, which Perry couldn't see very well from where he was still clutched in Heinz's arms, but was willing to bet were for some sort of language-learning machine.

The parts had been delivered during lunch, something else Linda hadn't noticed, so the boys got right to building. Heinz put Perry back in the shade of the tree and hurried to help. He looked comfortable with his new arm, right at home next to Phineas and Ferb.

Perry relaxed, letting out a full-body sigh. Something inside him that had been aching since he'd been brought back to the present started to ease.

"Whatcha doing?"

Heinz jumped at the voice, and Perry looked over to see Isabella walking towards Phineas, the gate swinging closed behind her.

"Oh, hi Isabella," Phineas said, looking up briefly to smile at her. "We're building something that helps you learn other languages."

"Is that not just a translator?" Baljeet chimed in. Buford carried him into the yard by the back of his overalls. Heinz watched the newcomers warily.

"Oh, no, a translator doesn't really teach you the language, it just tells you what the words mean," Phineas said, putting down his wrench to give his friends his full attention. Ferb had also stopped working and watched the conversation with his usual expression. "When it's done, this machine will have you speaking like a native."

"Cool," Isabella sighed with a slightly dreamy look on her face. Perry wondered what she was imagining now. Probably Phineas flirting with her in French. That girl was incredibly unsubtle. It was a good thing that Phineas had inherited his mother's obliviousness.

"I dunno," Buford said, cleaning his ear with his pinky and flicking away the earwax. "I'm already fluent in two languages and conversational in three more. It's not that hard."

Phineas just stared at him for a moment before asking, "Is one of them German?"

Buford looked like he was ready to get defensive over his not-so-secret soft side, but the question stalled that out. "Well, no."

"Great!" Phineas said. "Then you can help us out and see if this is more fun than learning it another way!"

Buford squinted at Phineas. "It better be," he threatened, setting Baljeet down.

By this point, Heinz had pretty much hidden behind Ferb again. He flinched a little at Buford's tone, drawing Isabella's eye.

"Hi," she said brightly, waving.

Heinz shrunk back from the attention but cautiously waved back.

"That's Heinz," Phineas said. "He doesn't speak English, so we're going to learn German to be able to talk to him!"

Baljeet looked at Heinz curiously. "Will this language-learning device teach Heinz English, as well?"

Phineas smiled at Baljeet. "That's a great idea! Ferb?"

Ferb gave them a thumbs up, drawing something else on the blueprints.

All of the kids grabbed tools and started to work. Heinz hung back a little, looking from person to person, bewildered, before meeting Perry's gaze.

Perry nodded encouragingly, and slowly Heinz went back to work. He kept glancing up at Perry, who gave him a nod every time, and eventually he found his rhythm again. He didn't look nearly as comfortable as when he was just with Phineas and Ferb, but that was to be expected.

After a few minutes, Perry noticed a tall figure with dark hair out of the corner of his eye. When he turned to look he saw Vanessa, of all people, standing just inside the back gate. She stared him down, then made a small ‘come here’ sort of gesture. Perry glanced over at the kids. All of them were focused on the machine, so he cautiously padded over to the teenager, careful not to draw more attention to himself.

Vanessa waited until he was close before she spoke. “Perry the Platypus. What are you doing here?” She crossed her arms. Her voice was quieter than usual, presumably so as not to draw attention to the fact she was talking to a platypus accusingly.

Perry gave her a flat look, focusing his expression just for her.

“Okay, yes, you clearly live here. But what I really want to know is why my dad is here,” she stabbed a finger in Heinz’s direction, “and why in the world he's a kid!”

Perry glanced over at Heinz. It was pretty obvious who he was. But Perry really hadn't expected Vanessa to show up, to intersect with his other life. He gave her a look, unsure of what to tell her or even how to convey the information.

Vanessa stared back at him, unimpressed. "So he turned himself into a child with one of his inventions. Of course he did." She gestured again, an abrupt, agitated motion. "Why is he here?"

What else was he supposed to do? Just leave Heinz in his workshop? He chattered disapprovingly.

“You could have at least let me know,” she huffed, crossing her arms.

How? He didn’t have her phone number, and a letter would take too long. Besides, he’d hoped that Heinz would be back to normal before Vanessa’s next weekend, and then her father could tell her himself.

“Typical,” she muttered.

Perry narrowed his eyes at her. What was she doing here, anyway?

Vanessa met his eyes for a brief moment, then looked away. “I happen to know Candace, for your information. I was coming over to try to remedy her terrible taste in music by lending her some of my CDs, but the voices in the backyard distracted me.”

She looked at the group of kids. Perry followed her gaze to Heinz. The boy kept his eyes on the other kids, shying away from any sudden movement. He seemed especially wary of Buford. Perry could understand that. Buford was quite intimidating, especially when you didn't know him.

"I've overheard a few of his backstories, Perry," Vanessa said after a moment. "He toned them down, didn't he." It wasn't a question.

Perry chattered anyway. Doofenshmirtz toned down his backstories for Perry , and there was no doubt he tried to shield his daughter from his past.

"Yeah," Vanessa muttered. Her face was blank, but Perry could tell she was upset and worried. After a few seconds, she straightened and her expression became determined.

Vanessa strode towards the group of kids. Perry followed right on her heels.

There was an older girl talking to Herr Schnabltier, and she was looking right at Heinz. She kept pointing at him and gesturing. It was kind of creeping him out. 

Heinz watched her out of the corner of his eye, but he tried to keep most of his attention on the project they were working on. He didn't want to disappoint Phineas and Ferb, or to get on the wrong side of these other kids. They looked like they could easily do a number on him if they wanted, especially the big guy. The girl also gave off a dangerous vibe. He really didn't want to provoke them.

Plus he didn't want to give Phineas and Ferb and reason to take back the arm they built for him. Heinz knew he would need to give it back eventually, but it was nice to have use of both arms, and the ache in his stump had eased some since attaching it. No need to give them a reason to take it back before they were planning to.

He tried to focus on the project, but it was just so hard with other people around. At least Phineas and Ferb had been quiet and accommodating, but these other kids were loud and didn't know what they were doing. Not that Heinz was entirely sure what they were building, but it was the principle of the thing.

Building something from scrap in a clearing back in Gimmelshtump, alone, seemed pretty appealing right now. But everything else had been wonderful, and he was grateful that he was here. No matter how he got here or how difficult it was to work with all these other people, it was worth it.

Movement caught his attention, and he looked up to see the teenager walking towards him with Herr Schnabltier following. She was still looking right at him, and Heinz pulled back from the project a little. He didn't want her to ruin it when she inevitably got angry at him.

The teen slowed as she grew closer. Heinz looked down, unwilling to provoke her by meeting her gaze.

"Hello, Heinz," she said kindly. "I'm Vanessa."

Heinz looked up, startled. "Hi, Vanessa," he said, not quite meeting her eyes. How did she know his name? And more importantly, "You speak German?"

"Well enough," Vanessa said, smiling. "My dad's from Drusselstein, so he taught me."

"I'm from Drusselstein, too!" Heinz smiled back, gaze still a bit to the side of her eyes.

"Cool." Vanessa looked down at the half-built machine. "What are you guys working on?"

Heinz scuffed his feet and looked down. "I don't actually know," he said softly.

Vanessa nodded and looked over at Ferb, asking something in the other language. Ferb said a few words, the first that Heinz had heard him say. Vanessa nodded.

"Looks like it's something to help teach languages. Specifically, German and English," she said.

Heinz blinked. Oh. "Oh!" So the language everyone was speaking was English.

Vanessa smiled. "Do you guys need any help?"

"Uh…" He looked around. "I don't know?"

"I'll ask Ferb," Vanessa said.

Heinz smiled and turned back to work. After a moment, he became aware of the other kids looking at him.

"What?" he asked defensively, shrinking into himself.

Herr Schnabltier chattered, and everyone looked at him instead. The girl said something, then everyone went back to work. Even Vanessa grabbed a wrench and started working on the machine.

Heinz looked at each of the others, but they seemed to be completely focused again. Slowly, he returned to work, keeping his eyes on everyone else.

Eventually, the language learning device was finished. It consisted of a boxy machine about the same height as Heinz and a chair with an attached helmet. The box only had two buttons, which Heinz had to assume were for English and German. Phineas was practically vibrating with excitement as he sat on the chair, the first to try it out. He settled the helmet down onto his head and said something. Ferb pressed the top button.

Phineas’ eyes glazed over for a few seconds. Heinz almost panicked. Did they do something wrong? Was Phineas’ mind scrambled? But then his gaze sharpened again, and he looked over at Heinz.

“Cool!” Phineas said. “Can you understand me, Heinz?”

“Yes,” Heinz answered automatically. He blinked.

“It worked!” Phineas bounced up off the chair.

Heinz nodded, feeling a little stunned. It was one thing to hear that something would teach languages and another thing to see it work.

“Do you want to go next?” Phineas asked.

“Uh… Sure?” Heinz said, more of a question really. Before the word was fully out of his mouth, Phineas pushed him into the chair and put the helmet on his head. It wasn’t a hard push. In fact, it had been more excited than malicious, and Heinz didn’t think he’d ever encountered a push that wasn’t intended to be mean before. It was strange.

That train of thought shattered when the machine turned on.

Heinz's mind filled with new words. They didn't link themselves to words he already knew, but rather to concepts. It was almost too much to handle, suddenly having more words for the same things. The new words felt different, in a way that he couldn't really grasp or describe. They had a distinct feel that he could tell was English , as opposed to the words he already knew, which definitely felt German.

After what felt like ages, but was probably just a few seconds, the new words trickled to a stop and he was able to focus on his surroundings again. He had the beginnings of a headache, his brain still trying to process all the new information.

His eyes refocused on the group of kids in front of him. They were all watching him anxiously.

"Did it work?" the girl asked, and it took Heinz a moment to process the English words.

"Yes," he said carefully, making sure to speak in English. "I think it did."

“Cool!” Phineas exclaimed again. “Who wants to go next?”

The larger boy cracked his knuckles, and Heinz instantly jumped up from the seat. He tried not to run away, because running from Phineas and Ferb’s friends probably wasn’t the best idea, but he definitely made a strategic retreat.

“This better be as fun as you promised,” the boy said threateningly to Phineas, and Heinz backed up a few more steps.

“Don’t mind Buford,” the girl said from right behind him. Heinz about jumped out of his skin. He whirled around to see her glaring at the boy, Buford. “He’s all bark.”

Heinz nodded, not entirely believing her words.

“I’m Isabella, by the way,” she said, turning to him and holding out her hand.

He gingerly took her hand, and she shook it firmly. Far more firmly than her smile and bubbly demeanor would suggest, which meant that Heinz had almost certainly been right in classifying her as dangerous.

“Nice to meet you,” he said. “I’m Heinz.”

They were interrupted with a gruff, “Woah. That was more fun than learning the normal way.”

Heinz dropped Isabella’s hand and turned to see Buford standing up from the chair, looking a little dizzy.

“I would like to go next,” the smaller boy said, looking from Phineas to Buford to Isabella. “Learning English was quite difficult, and I am curious to see how this works.”

“Go ahead, Baljeet,” Phineas said, motioning to the stool.

Heinz drifted over to where Vanessa was standing, a short way away from the group of kids. “You doing okay?” she asked.

Heinz nodded. “It’s just… strange,” he said. He felt like he should add more, but didn’t know exactly how to elaborate.

“You get used to it,” she said, resting a hand gently on his shoulder.

Herr Schnabltier chattered from beside her. They both looked down at the platypus. He was looking at Vanessa meaningfully, but Heinz couldn’t tell what he was trying to say.

Clearly Vanessa understood, because she nodded at Herr Schnabltier and said, “I should go find Candace. She’s probably wondering where I am; I did tell her I was coming over.”

It took Heinz a moment before he realized Candace must be the name of Phineas and Ferb’s older sister. He nodded, feeling a little sad. “Goodbye.”

“Don’t worry, kid,” she said with a smile, ruffling his hair. “I’ll see you again later.”

Heinz’s head tingled a little from the contact, and he watched her walk into the house. That was strange. No one had ever been so nice to him before.

Herr Schnabltier chattered again, and Heinz looked down, still feeling a little dazed. Let’s see what the others are doing.

Heinz nodded and picked up the platypus. He carefully made sure he wasn’t holding Herr Schnabltier too tightly, as he had earlier that morning. It felt a bit easier to control his arm now, after a few hours had passed. It felt more natural, for lack of a better word.

Ferb stood up from the chair just as Heinz approached the others. “It worked for you, Ferb?” Phineas asked, and Ferb gave them a thumbs up.

“That’s everyone!” Isabella said brightly.

Everyone looked at each other for a moment. They seemed like they were waiting for something, but Heinz wasn’t sure what.

“So,” Baljeet said, dragging the word out. “What do we do now?”

“I didn’t think that far ahead,” Phineas said. “Ferb?”

“One might say that learning a language is its own reward,” Ferb said.

Everyone nodded thoughtfully, leaving Heinz a little bewildered. That was only the second time he’d heard Ferb talk, the first time he’d been able to understand him, and it still didn’t make all that much sense. Didn’t they do all of this so that they could communicate with Heinz? Or was that incidental, and they were always going to build this device?

After a few more seconds, Buford said, “Welp, that was fun. I’m off to go eat a bug now.”

“Buford, you cannot just go and eat bugs whenever you feel like it!” Baljeet cried, rushing after Buford as he left the yard.

“Watch me!”

Heinz blinked, wondering if he’d heard that exchange properly.

“It was nice to meet you, Heinz,” Isabella said. She was smiling, and he smiled shyly back.

His voice was steadier than it had any right to be when he said, “It was nice to meet you too.” He would have expected it to shake from all of the confusion and emotional whiplash of the day.

She waved goodbye and left just as Frau Flynn-Fletcher poked her head out the back door and called everyone in for snacks. Candace and Vanessa joined them briefly. Vanessa smiled at Heinz kindly before disappearing upstairs with Candace.

Heinz felt a little shaky. So much had happened in just a day, and he honestly felt more like this entire thing was a dream than he did last night. He nibbled on the cookie that Frau Flynn-Fletcher had given him and tried to focus on what was happening around him and especially on not freaking out. He could freak out again later.

Herr Schnabltier leaned against his legs, and Heinz reached down to pet him. Everything was alright. Even if this was all a dream, it was a good one and Heinz couldn’t let himself regret it.

Chapter Text

Heinz spent the rest of the afternoon answering the questions Phineas threw at him in an odd mix of German and English. The other boy seemed too excited to settle on just one language, so most of what he said was near incomprehensible as he applied German grammar to English sentences and vice versa. Ferb would occasionally give his brother a look, and Phineas would amend his question or ask something completely different. Few of the questions had much to do with Heinz, actually. Phineas would ask question after question on one subject, like Heinz’s favorite thing to build or what the woods near his house were like, before veering off onto a completely different subject.

Clearly he was better at acclimating to new information than Heinz, because Heinz was still slow at processing longer sentences in English (especially with Phineas mixing the grammar up) and at formulating his replies in the new language. Still, he was able to work up the courage to ask a few questions of his own and, after telling Phineas and Ferb that he was from Gimmelshtump, he asked where, exactly, he was. This caused Phineas explain at length about Danville and the Tri-State Area, leaving Heinz more confused than before.

Dinner passed in a similar fashion, though Phineas primarily stuck to English now that his family was around. Heinz tried to do the same, though the words still felt strange in his mouth. Herr Fletcher would occasionally chime in with another question or a long-winded story that Heinz had trouble following. Candace seemed to be intentionally ignoring their conversation, instead talking to Frau Flynn-Fletcher about… a herd of moose? Heinz didn’t understand girls.

After dinner, Heinz started washing the dishes before Phineas and Ferb could drag him off and ask more questions. He probably wouldn’t be kicked out if he made himself useful, after all, and despite how much he enjoyed simply being around Phineas and Ferb he hadn’t been all that useful yet. He did like it here, even with the language gap and Herr Schnabltier acting strange, and he wanted to stay as long as possible. Phineas and Ferb had built him a new arm and a machine to help him learn English! Of course, it was mostly to teach themselves and their friends German, but they had built it so they could communicate with him. Probably.

He dreaded giving up his new arm. They would eventually want it back, after all. But at least they’d given him some ideas for when he built his permanent one.

“Heinz?”

Heinz flinched. He hadn’t noticed anyone approaching him, lost in his thoughts as he was. The motion caused the plate in his hand to strike the edge of the sink, making a loud ringing sound. He winced at the noise, then gingerly put the plate down in the soapy water and turned around.

Herr Fletcher stood just inside the kitchen, an unreadable expression on his face. Heinz hadn’t yet seen the man get mad or discipline his kids, but that didn’t mean much. He’d never seen his own family discipline Rodger, after all. Best to stay wary.

The man shuffled further into the kitchen. Heinz hunched into himself, eyes on the floor. He tensed as Herr Fletcher came closer, but all the man did was start drying the washed dishes quietly.

Heinz slowly turned back to the sink, still tense. His hands were shaking, but if he hid them under the water, maybe Herr Fletcher wouldn’t notice. He tried to keep his eyes on his work, but they kept flicking to the man’s hands. He didn’t know what Herr Fletcher was trying to do.

Maybe he was worried that Heinz would corrupt Phineas and Ferb.

Heinz passed the man a plate, trying to keep his hands steady. He didn’t want Herr Fletcher to realize how off-balance he was. The man didn’t say anything, and they continued to work in uncomfortable silence.

After a while, Heinz ran out of dishes to wash. He drained the sink and stood there, hands curling and uncurling, waiting for Herr Fletcher to make the first move. A few moments later, the man finished drying and putting away the last dish. Heinz watched carefully as Herr Fletcher opened a different cabinet and pulled out a mug.

“Tea?”

Heinz nodded hesitantly, and the man pulled out another mug. He’d never had tea before. Mother and Father preferred coffee, which they never wasted on such an ungrateful kid as Heinz, anyway.

Herr Fletcher grabbed the kettle and brought it over to the sink. Heinz shuffled out of the way of the tap. The man gestured at the counter, where several bar stools were placed.

Sitting. Right. He slid into one of the stools and stared at the countertop. It wasn’t terribly interesting, but it was better than watching Herr Fletcher. People didn’t like it when he watched them.

Herr Fletcher set a mug on the counter in front of him. He tried not to flinch, but he didn’t entirely succeed. Herr Fletcher didn’t comment.

“Cream and sugar?” he asked instead.

It took a moment for Heinz to process the words. He shook his head. No need to waste that on him.

There was a short pause, then Herr Fletcher sat down next to Heinz. Heinz waited until the man started to drink before reaching for his own mug.

It was warm against his hands, and he briefly marveled at the sensation in his right hand. He doubted that he could build something so advanced on his own, and in only one morning! The replacement hiding in his room back home was little more than a metal skeleton with a limited range of motion. True, he’d been building with only one arm, but he bet that Phineas and Ferb would be able to do far better if similarly hampered.

Heinz sipped the tea. It had an earthy taste, and he thought it might taste a bit better with cream or sugar, but he did like it.

The two sat in silence. Heinz tried to ignore the knot in his stomach. The rich dinner curdled in his stomach, and suddenly he didn’t want the tea anymore. He took another sip anyway. He couldn’t waste something someone had given to him.

Eventually, Herr Fletcher spoke. “So where did you live, son?”

Heinz tensed and cradled his mug to his chest. He wasn't sure why the man kept calling him 'son'. It was confusing. “Gimmelshtump,” he said, then added, “Drusselstein.” That was an easy enough question, though he wondered why he was being asked again. Phineas had told the man, right? Maybe he was trying to catch Heinz in a lie.

Herr Fletcher made a quiet sound and took another sip of his tea. Heinz followed suit, not really tasting what he was drinking.

“You live with your family?” The man spoke slowly, giving Heinz enough time to understand the words and to form his response.

He nodded. “With Mother, Father, and Roger.” He tried not to say Roger’s name too bitterly. He wasn’t supposed to speak ill of his family.

Herr Fletcher looked pensive. “How long have you been in Danville? Did you come with your family?”

Heinz froze. He should have been expecting this question, but he didn’t know how to respond. Adults don’t like it when you don’t answer their questions, but Heinz didn’t even know how he could try to make up an answer, not when he didn’t know the truth. And he definitely didn’t want to be caught in a lie.

After several long moments, he shook his head, pretending not to understand. Even if Herr Fletcher got mad, it wouldn’t be because he gave the wrong answer.

The man frowned, and Heinz tried not to tense to obviously. His hands tightened on his mug, and he took a sip of his tea to try to disguise his reaction.

“Do you like it here?” Herr Fletcher’s voice was quiet. Heinz, startled, looked at his face. It was tired and sad, and Heinz wasn’t sure why.

“Yes!” he said quickly. “It’s very nice here!” He hesitated, then added, “Phineas and Ferb are very fun to be around, and you’re all very nice and welcoming to me. Thank you for putting up with me.”

Herr Fletcher chuckled. Heinz felt a stab of disappointment that the man was laughing at him. But the laugh sounded kind, and after a few seconds he said, “We’re not ‘putting up’ with you, Heinz. You’re very pleasant to be around. Why, I don’t think the boys have ever had a friend that could keep up with them like you can. It’s good for them. We're happy to have you.”

Heinz’s English must be getting better because he was pretty sure that he had understood everything that Herr Fletcher said. His eyes stung, and he looked down at his cup. That’s… oh. He blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill.

A hand rested on his shoulder, and Heinz barely flinched at the contact. He chanced a look up at Herr Fletcher. The man had a gentle smile on his face, and Heinz felt himself mirror the expression.

Vanessa carefully made her way through her dad's workshop. ‘Carefully’ being the key word. You never quite knew what you would encounter in there, and Vanessa had accidentally triggered his inventions and traps too many times. Even once was too many times, honestly, so maybe she should rephrase that to 'more times than she could count'.

Dad really needed to build in some better safety measures.

“Hello, big sister!” a loud voice bellowed. Vanessa turned to see Norm waving at her from the corner.

“Hey, Norm,” she said. “What are you doing?”

“Dad put me in time-out.” Norm said cheerfully.

Vanessa frowned. “When was this?”

“Three days ago.”

“Well,” she said, thinking quickly. “Dad told me earlier that your time-out is over. I’m sure your squirrel is hungry.”

Norm took a step out of the corner. “Thank you, big sister! But don’t worry, I filled my chest cavity with nuts.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Of course you did.”

“I am happy to see you!” Norm said. “Did you come to visit me?”

“Uh…” Truthfully, she came here because Perry thought that she could help get Dad back to normal. She hadn’t actually been planning to see Norm until her next weekend here, but she couldn’t exactly tell him that. “Yes. I came here for a few reasons, and one of them was to see you,” she hedged.

“Good! I have been lonely since Dad left with Perry the Platypus.” Norm lumbered over to her, rattling.

Vanessa looked around the workshop. There was an overturned toddler playpen clamped to the floor near the balcony, with one of its sides split open. Bingo. That must have been Dad’s trap for Perry. Which meant the ray-like -inator on the balcony was probably the one at fault for this mess.

“Norm, were you up here while Dad was building that thing?” she asked, pointing at the -inator.

Norm turned to look at it, then jogged over to look more closely. The nuts in his chest cavity rattled around loudly. Vanessa rushed after him, hoping that he wouldn’t accidentally destroy the one lead she had to getting Dad back to normal.

He stopped just short of knocking the -inator over. Leaning in, he rubbed his chin and squinted. “I was already in time-out when Dad started this,” he said, straightening up.

“Did he say anything about it?” Vanessa pressed as she knelt down to look at it. Dad’s inventions usually had some sort of reverse switch, and she hoped that this one was no different.

“Dad was telling his Perry the Platypus doll about his scheme,” Norm said. “He was going to use the Youth-inator to turn Uncle Roger into a teenager!”

Well that explained how he’d managed to de-age himself. Vanessa shot a glance at the cabinet where Dad kept Pretendy the Practicepus, amused. It was good that Dad had someone in his life to focus his energy on. Not only was it good for him, but he’d been embarrassing Vanessa much less since Perry became his nemesis.

She turned back to the -inator. The control panel had platypus footprints on it, which meant that Perry had probably been knocked into the device during their scuffle, causing it to fire. Not all of the buttons were labeled, and some of the ones that were didn’t make any sense (why was there a button labeled ‘bratwurst’ on a de-aging ray?), but she quickly found the fire button and a dial labeled ‘AGE’.

Perfect. Vanessa reached out and tried to turn the dial. It didn’t budge. She twisted harder, unwilling to concede defeat, but it still wouldn’t move. Worse, the plastic dial made a cracking sound, and she was forced to stop before she broke it off entirely.

Well, she may not be as mechanically minded as her father, but you couldn’t live with the man for any length of time and not pick anything up. She could fix this. “Hey, Norm? Can you bring me a screwdriver and a wrench?”

“Of course, big sister!” Norm said, turning and stomping into the workshop. “Do you want a flat screwdriver or a pointy one?”

Vanessa squinted at the offending dial. “You know what, just bring me Dad’s whole tool box.”

“Right away!” he called, and Vanessa heard a loud scraping sound. She turned around to see Norm dragging over a toolbox that must be the same height that she was. “Are you fixing Dad’s Youth-inator? Can I help?”

“This is more of a one person job,” she said carefully. Norm would probably break the thing more, as large as he was. But she couldn’t just turn him away and disappoint him. “You could help by cleaning the workshop, if you want?” She gestured vaguely at the crumpled lab coat near where the -inator was pointing.

“Okay!” He clomped over to the lab coat and picked it up. It dangled oddly from his hand, like it had something heavy stuck in the sleeves. “This feels heavier than Dad’s lab coats usually do,” he said unnecessarily.

“Hang on a moment,” Vanessa said, standing up. She walked over and saw a… hand? She fought back the urge to jump back or yelp, and after a moment realized what it was. “Norm, I think those are Dad’s arms.”

Norm lifted up the coat to get a better look at the hands sticking out of the sleeves. “So they are! I wonder why Dad left without them.”

Probably because they were too large to fit him as a child. Did he even need prosthetics so young? Vanessa didn’t know when he had lost his arms. Dad had never even told her that he had lost them; she’d only found out they were prosthetics by accident. Dad — Heinz — Dad — Dad-as-a-kid had two functional arms when Vanessa saw him, but she wouldn’t put it past Phineas and Ferb to build him new arms before she even arrived.

“We should put them somewhere safe,” she said, instead of vocalizing her thoughts. “Wouldn’t want them to get damaged.”

“Okay!” Norm said. He bounded off into the workshop.

Vanessa shook her head and went back to work on the Youth-inator. She pried off the plastic top of the dial and took a look at the actual mechanism underneath. It looked fine, but when she attempted to turn it with a pair of pliers it didn’t move. Grumbling under her breath, she started to unscrew the control panel. It looked like she’d need to disassemble it a little to figure out why it was jammed.

After a few minutes, she heard what sounded like something thunking against hollow metal, followed by the more solid but quieter thunk of something hitting flesh. She looked up from the rat’s nest of wires from inside the control panel, praying Norm wasn’t doing something stupid.

Somehow, Norm had hooked Dad’s arms up to one of his old inventions and was playing catch with them. It looked like he’d partially gutted one of Dad’s old traps for Perry and replaced the metal arms with Dad’s prosthetics. He’d also acquired a baseball from god knows where and was tossing it back and forth with the honestly horrifying amalgam of Dad’s inventions. They were both doing surprisingly well, Vanessa noted absently.

“Norm,” she said, fighting to keep her voice even and not either break out into laughter or start yelling at her brother. “What are you doing?”

“It’s like Dad is playing catch with me!” Norm exclaimed happily. The nuts in his chest cavity rattled as he dove for a particularly difficult catch.

Vanessa sighed and deliberately turned back to the Youth-inator. She did not have the energy to deal with her brother’s many quirks. Nope, not touching that.

After what seemed like hours, she managed to get the wires untangled from where they’d become wound into the mechanism of the dial. Dad didn’t tend to platypus-proof his devices all that well, so she figured that they’d become entangled when Perry landed on the control panel. Reassembly went much quicker, and she got the control panel back on in no time.

Vanessa turned the age dial from extreme to extreme, making sure it could move freely, before setting it to the highest extreme, ‘Actual Age’. Hopefully that was all she had to do. She couldn’t exactly test it.

“Hey, Norm?” she asked, pulling herself to her feet.

Norm was still playing catch with the arms, but he looked over at Vanessa’s voice and promptly got smacked in the face with the ball. “Yes, big sister?” he said, catching the ball when it bounced off the floor.

“I’m going to head out.” She snuck a sideways glance at the arm-trap-thing. One of the arms waved at her. “You’ll be good here, right?”

“I am used to being alone,” Norm said brightly.

“Right…” Vanessa said, unsure how to respond. “Don’t break Dad’s arms.” She darted over to give him a quick hug. Norm hugged her back tightly, clearly not realizing his own strength.

“See ya, Norm,” she wheezed when he put her down.

Norm waved despite her still standing right next to him. “Goodbye, big sister!”

Vanessa smiled and slipped out the door of the workshop. Behind her, she heard Norm say, “Good catch, Dad!”

She shook her head and gently closed the door behind her. Her brother was something, alright. She just didn’t know what.

After locking the door, Vanessa pulled out her phone to send Perry a text. She’d practically forced her number on him yesterday afternoon, and he’d accepted it with grace and a bit of a sheepish smile. Honestly, Vanessa had expected the secret agent to have her number already, what with the super secret organization he worked for, and she had mixed feelings about the fact that he didn’t. Either OWCA thought that giving out an underaged girl’s personal details was a step too far, which would be the best option, or they didn’t think that Perry needed that information, which was… not great, to say the least. She supposed it was possible they were completely incompetent, which she couldn’t rule out despite Perry being the hyper-competent mammal-of-action that he was.

Regardless of OWCA’s motives or lack thereof, Perry now had her number and, more importantly, she now had his. She sent him a quick text letting him know that she thought she had fixed the Youth-inator, and that Norm was playing catch with Dad’s arms. If she had to see that, Perry had to at least picture it.

By the time Vanessa entered the elevator, Perry had already texted her back a thumbs-up emoji. Had the platypus relied on ASCII art before emojis were invented? The thought made her snort.

After a moment, she asked when she should come by to pick up her dad. She had an idea of how she was going to justify taking the boy home with her. It was a bit of a long shot, but it might work.

She got a response by the time she was out on the sidewalk.

ths aftrnn?

Apparently Perry did use words, even if it was outdated chat speak. She sent back a k and headed in the direction of the mall. Mom wasn’t expecting her home until dinner and it was just lunch time now. She needed some greasy food and maybe some new black clothing to get the image of Dad’s arms attached to one of Perry’s old traps out of her head.

Chapter Text

Perry woke up slowly, which was an unusual luxury. Most mornings, he woke up with his boys, who sprang from bed fully awake far earlier than most kids their age would. On occasion, his communicator woke him instead. He always felt less charitable towards Major Monogram and Dr. Doofenshmirtz those days. Today, however, he woke up gradually, snuggled up in Heinz's arms.

It said something about the time he had been accustomed to waking up that mere moments passed before he heard his boys race down the stairs to start their day. Heinz stirred a little, before quickly settling back into sleep. Perry smiled.

Unfortunately, the lie-in couldn't last. Perry needed to make an appearance in his lair. He didn't go in at all yesterday, and he ran the risk of being docked for unauthorized days off — or even assigned to some other mission, since he clearly had so much time on his hands — if he didn't at least go in and do some paperwork.

With a quiet sigh, he carefully pulled himself out of Heinz's arms. Heinz shifted, frowning, and Perry wished he’d stored some of his decoys in the guest room rather than just in Phineas and Ferb's bedroom. He patted Heinz's hair, and the boy settled down, his frown fading until it was barely there.

Perry left Heinz curled up in a patch of sunlight and slid into the hall, closing the door behind him quietly. There was an entrance to the lair in the guest room, but it was a loud vacuum tube and Perry didn't want to wake Heinz. He opted instead to take the elevator hidden behind the hall table, which was quieter and less likely to be noticed.

Once in his lair, he made a beeline for his computer. Perry did have a cubicle at HQ, but it was inconvenient and small, and he had everything he needed here in his lair anyway. Plus, while he didn’t exactly mind most of his fellow agents, it was generally quieter and easier to focus in here.

He booted up the computer, frowning at how long it took to load. The program he used took even longer to open, and he grimaced at the number of forms he had to fill out. He spent four hours working on various reports, explaining how exactly downtown had become covered in pasta salad last week, and he hadn’t even made a dent in the paperwork. He groaned, about to bang his head on the desk in frustration, when his phone buzzed.

It was Vanessa, letting him know that she had fixed the youth-inator. He was caught between laughing at or being disturbed by the image of Norm playing catch with a trap fitted with Doofenshmirtz’s prosthetics, and he quickly sent a thumbs-up emoji back while he thought about it. He was leaning towards disturbed. None of the traps he could think of would benefit from a pair of humanoid arms.

Perry shook his head to clear that image. That was not something he wanted to think about. He turned back to the paperwork, but Vanessa interrupted him again, asking when they should take Heinz to be re-aged. He let her know to come by this afternoon. The sooner this mess was over, the better, really. Perry enjoyed the way that Heinz slotted into his family a little too well, and it would be easier to resolve everything now rather than let this continue on.

Plus, it seemed like Lawrence was fully prepared to adopt Heinz, even after only a day. It was all well and good now, but they needed to bring Heinz back to his real age and he was sure that Lawrence would resist letting the boy leave. It was better for this to happen soon rather than allow Heinz to become too firmly entrenched in the family.

Perry shut down his computer. He was absolutely not going to get any more work done now, and so he continued the time-honored tradition of secret agents leaving their paperwork incomplete for another day.

He climbed back into the tube, careful to remove his hat before the system sucked him up and deposited him directly onto his bed. Faintly, he heard the sound of construction coming from the back yard, and he trotted over to the glass door to look.

The boys had replaced the yard with an Olympic-sized swimming pool, complete with beach chairs and umbrellas. The Fireside Girls performed synchronized swimming at one end of the pool while Ferb welded together the last support braces on the highest high-dive Perry had ever seen on the other. Next to the high-dive was another diving board, sitting about three feet above the water.

Phineas stood next to the diving boards in full beach-mode, wearing his sunglasses and swim trunks with his nose slathered with sunscreen. He made rapid, excited gestures at the high-dive while Heinz hid behind him.

Heinz was dressed in swim trunks clearly borrowed from Phineas and a plain white tee shirt that Perry had never seen before. He was looking at the shorter diving board distrustfully, seemingly completely ignoring the existence of the high-dive. Perry, however, could see the look on the boy's face that meant that he was completely aware of what was there and was doing his best to pretend it didn't scare him, even if that meant ignoring it. Doofenshmirtz did the same thing.

Perry slipped out into the backyard and trotted towards the boys. Both Phineas and Heinz must have spotted him simultaneously, because Phineas’ “There you are, Perry!” overlapped with Heinz’s happy cry of “Herr Schnabltier!”

Phineas looked at Heinz with a smile. “Mr. Platypus?”

Heinz flushed. “I didn’t know his name when I met him,” he mumbled.

“I like it,” Phineas declared. Ferb gave a thumbs up from the ladder of the high-dive.

Heinz hid the small smile on his face by kneeling down and petting Perry. The boy scratched right on the spot that made Perry’s tail flick up, and he felt his eyes close involuntarily.

“How did you meet Perry?” Phineas asked, and Perry’s eyes shot open. He gave Heinz a pleading glance, counting on the boy’s body to block his break in cover.

Heinz met his eyes and frowned a little, but obliging said, “I was making something for the science fair, and Herr Schnabltier helped me out.”

Perry let himself relax. That was true, but wouldn't give him away. No mention of Drusselstein or spending the night, two things that would definitely harm his cover.

“Cool!” Phineas said. “We wondered where Perry disappeared to all the time. You like helping people out, don’t you boy?” Phineas joined Heinz in petting Perry, and Perry let out a happy chatter in response.

After a moment, Phineas sprang up. “Now then, let’s go swimming!” Ferb, who had finished with the high-dive at some point in the conversation, gave a thumbs up.

Heinz looked uneasy, and Perry remembered that Doofenshmirtz had never learned to swim.

Phineas motioned towards the other end of the pool. “The water’s shallow over there, so we can get used to the water before we go diving. Come on!” He speed-walked to the stairs into the shallow part of the pool.

Perry gave Heinz an encouraging glance and trotted after Phineas. Heinz sighed quietly behind him, and when he looked back, the boy had risen and was starting to walk slowly after him. Perry smiled. It had been a while since he’d gone swimming, and he was a semi-aquatic mammal, after all. 

Vanessa swallowed down a lump in her throat as she waited at the door. Despite visiting the Flynn-Fletcher household before, she was well aware that this time something could go very, very wrong. Surely the Flynn-Fletchers had realized that sending Heinz back to his parents was a very bad idea. She knew that Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher could be incredibly oblivious, as she’d heard Candace complain about her enough, so convincing her shouldn’t be a problem. It was Mr. Fletcher that she was worried about.

Candace didn’t complain about her dad like she did her mom, so Vanessa had no way of judging if this whole thing would go smoothly or not. Because here she was, about to claim that she thought she was related to the kid who was actually her dad and that her extended family had just informed her that her distant cousin, Heinz, had gotten lost on their last trip to America. 

Vanessa could lie like the best of them — she was the teenage daughter of an evil scientist, after all — but she wasn’t entirely sure she could pull this off. Every moment standing here at the front door to the Flynn-Fletcher house made it seem less and less likely that this would work. Before she could second guess herself too much, however, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher opened the door.

“Vanessa!” she said, sounding surprised. “Candace is out with Stacy and Jeremy today, didn’t she let you know?”

Well, it was now or never. “No, I’m actually here to talk to you and Mr. Fletcher. Can I come in?” Her voice was remarkably steady for how anxious she felt.

“Of course!” Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said, ushering her into the house. “Have a seat!”

She motioned towards the couch in the living room, and Vanessa sat down carefully. The woman called for her husband to come downstairs, then turned towards Vanessa. “Do you want anything to drink? Or a snack? I tried out that kale granola recipe I got from your mother, it’s delicious!”

Vanessa smiled faintly, remembering just how horrible that granola tasted and how much her mom loved it. “I’ll just have some water, thanks.”

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher smiled, then turned into the kitchen. Outside, Vanessa heard a splash and she turned to look out the window. There was a massive swimming pool set up in the yard, and a massive wave, clearly from someone diving into the pool, hit the concrete rim. Phineas surfaced from the waves’ epicenter with a grin, and yelled something unintelligible into the sky. She followed his gaze up and up to see a diving board build so tall that she spotted a plane making a detour around it and several birds smacking face-first onto the ladder. She squinted. Did — did the top of the board have flashing red lights on it?

There at the top, barely visible, was Dad (and boy, it was strange to see a child and think of him as ‘Dad’). As far as she could tell, he was clinging to the board. There was a little teal blur up there that was probably Perry, too. Vanessa's breath caught in her throat as Dad suddenly plummeted from the board towards the surface of the pool, Perry close behind him. She couldn't tear her eyes away as he spun in the air a few times before hitting the water in a rough cannonball. A wave, perhaps bigger than the one Phineas had caused, splashed across the pool, and then Dad resurfaced in time for Perry to hit the water right next to him. Vanessa's heart hurt a little to see the fragile grin on Dad’s face.

The sound of the stairs creaking made her turn back to see Mr. Fletcher at the base of the staircase. He didn’t seem to notice Vanessa, instead walking into the kitchen and putting his arms around his wife. “You called, dear?”

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher let out an amused huff. “Vanessa wanted to talk to us,” she said, inclining her head towards the living room.

Mr. Fletcher nodded slowly, but without seeing his face Vanessa couldn’t really tell what he was thinking. A wave of anxiety surged up in her chest, and she tried to crush it down. It wasn’t entirely successful as she couldn’t exactly reassure herself that this conversation would go well. This was a long shot if she’d ever seen one.

Before Vanessa was fully able to suppress her anxiety, Mr. Fletcher turned and walked over to where she was sitting. His face was kind, and Vanessa wondered if it would stay that way during their conversation. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher followed her husband and handed Vanessa the glass of water before sitting down.

“What’s on your mind?” Mr. Fletcher asked.

Vanessa clutched the water glass and took a deep breath. “So, you guys know Dad’s family is from Drusselstein, right?” She tried to project her usual demeanor of an aloof teenager, but it didn’t feel like it was working.

At the murmurs of acknowledgment from the adults, she barrelled forward. “Well, Uncle Roger let us know this morning that one of their distant cousin’s family visited him the past two weeks, but they lost track of their son in the city and had to return home without him.”

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher made a soft sound, hands flying to her mouth at the idea of a child alone and lost in a foreign country. Mr. Fletcher raised a brow, but only gestured for her to continue.

“His name is Heinz,” Vanessa said carefully, trying to remain collected. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher’s eyes widened, but Mr. Fletcher’s gaze didn’t change. “I didn’t connect the Heinz staying at your house to this cousin I’ve never met when I was here yesterday. I didn’t know he was missing, and Heinz is a common name in Drusselstein.”

She sighed. “I don’t even know if he actually is the same Heinz, to be honest with you. But Dad started freaking out when Uncle Roger told us, and he said that if we find Heinz that he can stay with Dad while we find out how to get him back home. And I thought, maybe it’s this kid named Heinz from Drusselstein that I ran into at a friend’s house?”

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher was nodding before Vanessa even finished her story. “I’ll call the boys in,” she said, standing quickly and walking to the back door. Mr. Fletcher was looking at Vanessa with a furrowed brow. He looked like he was about to say something, but was cut off as three very wet boys and an equally-wet platypus barreled into the room.

“Hi, Vanessa!” Phineas chirped when he caught sight of her. Dad waved shyly from between the other two boys.

Vanessa smiled at them, heart in her throat. “Hey guys,” she said. From behind Dad’s legs, Perry shot her a concerned look, then resumed his vacant expression. She wasn’t sure how he did it. Keeping up a facade and lying to those you love had to be difficult and painful. It was hard enough lying to the Flynn-Fletchers, and they were just the family of one of her friends.

Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher came up behind the kids and laid one hand on Dad’s shoulder, and Vanessa didn’t miss the way he flinched slightly at the contact. “Vanessa wanted to ask you a few questions, Heinz,” she said.

Dad’s expression shifted from panicked to suspicious and back, but he nodded slowly, gaze firmly a few inches to the left of Vanessa’s eyes. Vanessa felt like cursing. This was already off to a bad start.

She powered on anyway. “I don’t think I properly introduced myself,” she said, switching to German despite her skills being a bit sketchy and knowing that Dad could speak English now. “My name is Vanessa Doofenshmirtz.”

Panic flashed across Dad’s face, followed by a sort of resigned understanding. It hurt to put that expression on a child’s face. Perry, clearly picking up on Dad’s unease, walked around his legs and laid down on his feet.

“My uncle told me this morning that a distant cousin of mine got lost in Danville a few days ago, and his family was forced to go back to Drusselstein without him. I’ve never met him,” she said, trying to lie as smoothly as she could, “and his name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz.”

“That’s my name,” Dad said in a voice that sounded like it was trying not to be forlorn and failing.

Venessa smiled. It felt wrong on her face. “Everyone’s been worried about you,” she said, and that felt like the biggest lie of all, even though everyone who did know what happened — namely, her and Perry — were actually worried. Dad clearly didn’t believe it. “My dad wants you to stay with us until we can get you back home to your parents. Is that okay?”

She could tell that Dad thought it was very much not okay, but he also didn’t seem to think he had a choice. He really didn’t, but it was painful to see the light leave his eyes as he slowly nodded.

Everyone else watched the exchange with varying degrees of comprehension. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher looked lost, clearly not able to understand any German, but smiled encouragingly at Dad and Vanessa. Phineas seemed happy that Heinz had found his family, while Ferb looked contemplative. Mr. Fletcher’s brow was still furrowed, and he looked like he wasn’t entirely happy.

“Well,” he said, clapping his hands and breaking the tension. “I’m glad that we found Heinz’s family. Why don’t you boys run along and play while Vanessa and I talk about what happens next, hmm?”

Phineas agreed swiftly, and went to grab Dad’s hand to go back outside. Before he could, Dad bolted to the stairs, then up to the second floor. Perry shared a glance with Vanessa before trotting up the stairs after him. Phineas made to follow, but Ferb put a hand on his arm and they shared a meaningful look. Phineas deflated and followed his brother out to the yard. Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher gave Vanessa a smile, clearly not having noticed the drama that just played out in front of her, before retreating to the kitchen.

With Perry already off comforting Dad, Vanessa was left to talk to Mr. Fletcher alone. He seemed affable enough earlier, but now he looked downright intimidating. She pulled all of the teenage indifference and evil confidence she had around her, trying not to show exactly how shaken she was by this whole situation.

“You know Heinz’s parents?” Mr. Fletcher asked. His voice was even and strong and gave nothing away.

“I wouldn’t say I actually know them,” Vanessa said, truthfully. After all, she’d never actually gotten to know her grandparents. On either side, come to think of it. “I met them a few times at family reunions, that’s all. I never actually met Heinz, though, so I didn’t recognize him until I heard he was missing.”

The man nodded and turned to face her. His eyes were icy, and even though she was reasonably sure that he wasn’t angry at her, Vanessa leaned back as she tried to control her flight response. Mr. Fletcher seemed to pick up on her unease.

“I don’t want to interfere with affairs within another family,” he started, “but I refuse to sit by and let a child return to an abusive situation.”

Vanessa looked down at her hands, feeling a little guilty. There was nothing she could say, really. In all her (admittedly brief) planning she hadn’t been able to figure out a way around this particular thing — that her grandparents were abusive and she was going to sound like she was bringing Dad back to them. God, this whole situation was bizarre.

She felt Mr. Fletcher’s eyes studying her. “You knew they were abusive.” His voice wasn’t any softer.

Despite it not being a question, Vanessa felt herself nod.

“I don’t believe you’re a bad person,” he said, and Vanessa had to bite back a snort at that. “I don’t think you would return a child to an abusive home, either.”

Vanessa’s mind whirled. She could see where this was going, and it wasn’t going anywhere good.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Mr. Fletcher’s tone was that of a disappointed parent; reproach swirled together with disappointment.

“You wouldn’t believe me,” she blurted. Shit. She hadn’t meant to say that.

Vanessa snuck a peek to see the man’s face morph into a small, indulgent smile. “I have seen my sons build amazing things, many of which seem to fly in the face of laws we think govern reality. I think I can handle something a little unbelievable.”

That was… something she should have expected, really. Most of Danville’s excitement this summer had centered itself around this household, after all. Before she could second guess herself, she said, “Heinz is actually my dad.”

Mr. Fletcher raised an eyebrow but motioned for her to continue.

She looked away again, trying to figure out what to say without giving too much away. “He’s an inventor, you know?” she finally said, picking at her cuticles. “He made something that would turn someone into the child version of themself, but it malfunctioned and hit him. I don’t live with Dad except on alternating weekends, so I didn’t know anything had happened until I saw him in your backyard yesterday.

“I wanted to make sure I could turn him back into an adult before I did anything.” She made a vague, helpless gesture. “Plus I didn’t know what to say. So I went to his workshop this morning, and thankfully the invention has a reverse switch. I’m pretty sure I can get him back to normal.”

Mr. Fletcher stared at her. “Well,” he said after the silence drew out into an uncomfortable length. “That’s certainly something.”