Chapter Text
“Wil. What am I doing here?”
“Dark.” Wilford began to answer indirectly. He leaned forward, brows furrowed, and his pink gleaming eyes narrowed.
The emcee placed his elbows upon the low round oak table that was adorned with a slikened scarf. The material had been dyed a translucent black and patterned in gray lace, made to resemble shimmering smoke. Its edges were trimmed with golden yarn tassels that coruscated under the flickering glow of candle flame that encompassed the shrouded reading room. A crystal ball rested dead center in the middle of everything; The table, the scarf, the room, the two men sitting juxtaposed to one another. Held up strong by a simple silver pedestal with the moon cycle engraved upon the outer rim’s smooth surface.
Wilford had topped off the scene, wearing an authentic rubia voile cotton Sikh Turban that also happened to be his brand of pink. The elder man pressed his two index fingers to his lips, eyeing the guest up and down. Trying to put the puzzle that was Darkiplier, together.
They were both inquisitive of the scenario to say the least.
Though, Dark wasn’t as privy to the purpose of such theatrics. Dark knew he was eventually going to participate in his shenanigans, whether he wanted to or not. That’s just how Wilford was. So, the suit-cladded man humored himself the pink ego’s scrutinizing gaze, his face coming across as impassive as it could be.
“I’ve noticed something.” Wilford continued.
Dark hummed thoughtfully, folding his arms over one another. His lips upturned just a tad as he thought of a quick-witted remark. “ Good heavens. What an inquisitive man you’ve become.” That earned Dark an equally amused smile in return from the pink mustached man.
Wilford tsked, clicking his tongue quite loudly, waggling a finger in a dismissive manner. Clearly trying to curb Dark’s snarky attitude, even though he did take great delight with this more laid back demeanor. The hard headed lad seemed to be letting his guard down in his presence, which was a very good sign. It meant that Dark would be hearing him out entirely for once. No appearances to keep up, no need to hide behind that pesky pride, a very good sign indeed.
“Joke all you want, but this is a serious matter. I’ve been noticing that you’re tragically single my dear boy—“
“Oh for the love of god, not this again–“
“Now, hold on just a minute there.”
Dark narrowed his gaze in a more cold and stern manner. So much for being in a good mood.. He met those pink orbs with a small twinge of a look that bordered on disappointment. The austere wight’s emanation crackled around him like sparks of lightning, fleeting just as it had prominent. Sitting up straighter, Dark shifted a hand to steadily grip the arm of his fauxed leather chair, just in case he decided to remove himself from the conversation altogether too soon. All while holding Wilford at bay with his charcoal orbs.
“Honestly, this is because of that disastrous six day meeting, isn’t it. Are you implying that I am, in fact, jealous of my peer’s companionship? Is that it? Because I won’t sit here and be forced to entertain such an idiotic, deceitful, and childish notion again! Not even for you, Wil. I have things to do, important things. And oh yes, if you weren’t so absentminded, you wouldn’t have forgotten the tiniest, simplest detail…. “
He paused, an icy smile cutting into the corner of his lips, threatening a sneer.
“I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ROMANTIC AMALGAMATIONS!”
Dark ordained, standing up from his seat, stepping back with curt defiance. Rage trickled its way through his subzero body like acidic rain, crackling once more as bows of red scraped against the blinding brilliance of a burning white. His fists clenched and unclenched, fighting to keep himself in a more controlled state of mind. Or, at least a state of mind that didn’t involve beating his superior to death. Instead, he elected to turn swiftly, and abscond.
He heard Wilford’s chair scrap against the hardwood floor, standing, speaking out– just as quickly before Dark’s hand could reach the door handle.
“Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like? At least, entertained the idea that someone like you, could have a chance at happiness? Happiness shared with– with someone else? Doesn’t the idea hold some sort of satisfaction in that cold lonely heart of yours? I know it bothered you a touch..”
Dark considered himself to be a; courteous, fair, and diplomatic individual. The shade was strict and very detailed, endowed with power that he knew to take responsibility for. But, it wasn’t as if he wasn’t incapable of loosening his tie– it was just.. so difficult for him. Relationships, of course , had crossed his mind once or twice. It wasn’t as if he would have any trouble courting someone. Why everyone went gaga over the imposing man was beyond his understanding, though. He didn’t think he gave off the perception of a man who would take control and debauch you with just a wave of his finger.
But apparently he was wrong.
Women (and some men) responded wildly to his tortured monochromatic aesthetic, would bow on bended knee without acquiesced if he’d commanded. That was all well and good, and it made things easier to use towards his advantage when he wanted something. But Dark, really has no interest in relationships or sex. He hated the fact that his very image could be associated with the kind of perversions that Mark’s fans would go crazy for. He was Asexual and Aromantic. Someone who is aromantic asexual (or aro-ace), doesn't experience either romantic attraction or sexual attraction to the other people around them.
One must think, that kind of life must be pretty lonely right? Well, Dark didn’t think so. He was happy with who he was…
That lingering doubt is what made him turn his head ever so slightly, speaking over his shoulder towards Wilford. His tone lacked the same fury it held a moment ago, sounding listless.
“... What bothered me?”
“Seeing all the other Ipliers of course! Seeing them with their mates, how happy they were, how they seemed to brighten up and spark with the passion to change! You’re bothered that you could never inspire such feelings in them! And thus, forgive me for eavesdropping… You’ve wondered if someone else could bring that out of you, a simple sense of fulfillment!”
‘Eavesdropping? How on earth was that–’
Dark’s eyes went wide, cheeks gaining a bit of color. ‘God damn it–!’ that meant Wilford had been snooping around through his thoughts and emotions! Which meant he had sensed something worth snooping!
The dour man took a breath, still lingering in a mix of; confusion, shame, and utter chagrin. Because he knew that Wilford’s idealistic forthcomings held a small grain of truth. After all, Wilford would never make such a claim as this if it weren’t true. That also gave Dark pause.
He knew that affection had its place in the world, knew that it could make a person stronger. However, it was difficult to see the positives when the cons were just so… dangerously unpredictable.
People fell out of love and could hurt one another so easily. Because of situations like; misguided lust, boredom, abusing trust, manipulative behavior. The heart was an easy thing to fool, all from the fear of dying alone. People may say that was a negative way of thinking, but was he really wrong? Trusting someone else with such fragile things as; Love, trust, and affection— made Dark extremely uncomfortable.
Somewhere in his mind however, Wilford managed to cling to an itching curiosity that flitted through his subconscious like a small bird. Dark hated him for it, yet here he was, hesitating. Still poised to listen to him.
“Tell me right now Dark. Tell me that this isn’t something you think about from time to time— fleeting as it may be! Tell me and I’ll stop filibustering about it. You have my word.”
Wilford’s plea sounded desperate, desperate for him to stay rather than conceding to his point of view. Whether Wilford was right (and most certainly was) or wrong, that didn’t mean Dark had to stay. The shade exhaled, slowly and Wilford waited with hushed anticipation. Dark closed his eyes, not wanting to face that hopeful gaze just yet.
“A simple sense of fulfillment, you say? Fine. I’m a forbearing man. I’ll play your little game.”
Wilford clapped gleefully at the good news, moving to sit down in his chair once again.
The stoic man’s eye twitched. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the crease between his brows became much more indented. Still, he turned around and made his way back to his own unoccupied chair. Once plopping back down onto the cushion, he gestured with an elegant wave of his hand for Wilford to continue.
Wil grinned, his crinkling eyes gave away some sort of gratitude in the younger man’s favor. He rubbed his hands together in thought, mischief brimming in with his actions– Dark interrupted before fully committing to the pink ego’s insanity.
“I just have one question. Why the turban?”
“Atmosphere my dear boy! You must immerse yourself in order to enjoy the thrill of the hunt!”
“The hunt?”
“The hunt!”
“Why would I need to–” He paused and scoffed irritatedly, pinching his bridge again. “What exactly is supposed to be happening here, Wil?”
Wilford chuckled and began to hover his hands over the crystal ball, swirling over the opulent object in a circular motion, fingers wiggling aimlessly. “This magnificent little device holds the key my dear friend!” The elder ego bellowed with strong avidity. Dark had to wonder where in the world he kept all that voraciousness.
The device in question began to glow a soft pink, the same tint that matched the conjurer's eyes, its soft pastel clouds coiling around inside its spherical containment. Dark leaned in, a little intrigued if not skeptical.
“Thanks to its assistance, I have honed my very impressive omniscience to conduct a thorough investigation into the cosmos and have discovered the wonderful realm of AUs!”
“... AUs ?” Dark parroted.
“Alternate Universes Dark, Alternate Universes! Worlds where you find yourself in a reality like our own with a variety of differences! You could be; a mafia leader, a dog trainer, a woman, a barista— so MANY barista AUs, a serial killer, a fallen angel, a werewolf. The possibilities are endless! With this device, I have come up with a way to show you what it takes to make your monogamous-less-ess life more monogamous!”
Wilford beamed proudly and Dark couldn’t help but to feel some of that enamored energy seep into his own being. He could view any probable outcome and just… sit here? He didn’t have to participate in this affair more than that? That seemed like a good deal.
“Hold your horses there, sir.” Wilford interjected with a waggle of his finger. No doubt he had read his mind. “I’m not doing all the work here. You have to contribute your consciousness too, buster brown.”
“But you said–”
“Well, I can’t very well rip into a multiverse and tether you along for the ride if you’re not willing to buckle the fuck down into the passenger seat now, can I?”
“I.. suppose not? So, alright. We’ll be peering into timelines where I… have a significant other and that’s it?”
“Mostly, mostly.” Wilford nodded in agreement, satisfied with Dark’s compliance.
The accomplice in question raised an eyebrow at that. Silently signaling Wilford to elaborate a tad more on what mostly implied. Wilford sighed and took a sip of wine that hadn’t existed until this very moment.
“Well meet cutes are also just as popular! Gotta give the readers what they click in for! We can’t put in a meet cute hashtag without having some sort of content that pertains to the subject. That’s false advertising! If there’s one thing I’m not, that is a liar. I won’t stand for it.”
Dark’s brain hurt. He just cocked his head to the side and kept his brow raised, now more confused than ever.
Wilford brushed off the inquisitive gaze in favor of clearing his throat, eager to get this show on the road.
“Now then, place your hands on the orb Dark, while I get the universes’ attention.” He cleared his throat once again.
“Oh ye configuration of the universe.. hi! I call upon you from the great beyond and request that you grant us the permission to view all timelines in which Darkiplier and—”
Wil interrupted, coughing into his fist to hide his true intentions. “Nooneofspecficimportance.” Cough . “Notawholegroupno.” Cough. Cough .
Huh, too bad he practically bellowed that statement right in front of the man he was supposed to keep that information from. Dark’s brow furrowed in a brief flash of visible perplexity. But the pieces were easy enough to place together.
“Septics...” Dark concluded as he slowly leaned back his head. A groan resonated within his throat, rumbling through his chest as a body full of discouragement. Already he felt drained and exhausted.
The elder snapped his head back to Dark, eyes widened behind his glasses.
“W-what? Who said anything about—”
“It’s not a hard thing to conclude, Wil. Why are we looking into those timelines specifically ? Alternate realities or not, that’s highly unprofessional not to mention incredibly invasive.. I’m not even attracted to any of them!”
“Oh pisha, the readers get a kick outta this stuff! It’s in the title after all!”
Dark remained unamused, stubbornly stiff.
“.... Oh alright, fine . It’s because it’s a lot easier to work with, okay? If we went through every single fan girl who wants to be fucked by you, we’d be here all day— at least 250 works on AO3 at least ! Don’t get me started on Wattpad!”
“Wil..”
“Just put your hands on the goddamn ball!”
Dark rolled his eyes with a bit of effort, yet he humored Wilford’s frustrated command. The crystal turned a deep and potent red upon his touch. Wilford the conjurer licked his lips and started from where he left off.
“Where was I? Oh, yes of course. Grant us the permission to view any and all timelines in which the Septiceye Clan become attracted to Dark, this man here in the outdated suit jacket remember? The one I was telling you about? Terribly drab.”
“Wilford—“
Wilford sighed aggravatedly and rubbed a hand over his face. Luck remained on his side as the ball glowed brilliantly and the room encompassing the two filled with that same blinding red. The furniture began to hover an inch from the ground. Everything seemed to thrum with high amounts of energy.
Wilford grinned wickedly and looked into Dark’s widening bewildered expression.
“No time like the present. Now get out there Casanova!”