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When the world finally stops spinning, Hinata is stuck. Literally.
He’s so dizzy and confused he’s not sure where he is, or why everything started spinning in the first place. All he knows is that it’s freezing cold, he’s suspended in darkness, and his body is aching, trapped somewhere cramped and heavy. It’s hard for him to breathe; he can feel his own wheezing breath bouncing back at him, beading his lips and the tip of his nose like warm dew. He must’ve lost consciousness for a bit and now he’s somehow gotten himself tightly packed inside this dark cave.
Hinata’s senses return to him gradually, bits and pieces connecting slowly, sluggishly. Glimpses of him leaving together with his friends, heading towards greater heights, and then the ground moving, suddenly disappearing from under him…
The memories come rushing back in one go, flooding his barely regained consciousness so quickly it almost knocks him out again. His thoughts are moving through all the previous events in reverse and the further back he goes, the clearer the picture becomes. He remembers how the snow gathered around him, how he slid and tumbled – down, down, down – for what seemed like an eternity, how his mountain skis were wrenched off, how he tried to do what he’d been taught, to ride out the moving masses, to crawl towards the periphery of the chaos, and at last how he had stood at the top of the slope when the ground suddenly dropped and crumbled below him.
Press rewind. Press play.
Like a movie, he mentally goes through the events again, only this time in chronological order. By the time the gravity of the situation has fully dawned on him, Hinata’s heartbeats are thumping loudly in his ears, his head roaring with panicked turmoil.
An avalanche caught him.
An avalanche caught him and now he’s trapped in the snow, buried alive.
He can’t see or hear anything, he has no idea which way is up or down, he can’t move enough to even try digging, and the more he breathes, the more he wastes precious oxygen. He’s fucked, to put it mildly, and maybe even half-dead, to be perfectly realistic.
Okay, Hinata thinks and fights back tears, struggling not to let hysteria overcome him. Be reasonable and stay calm. Screaming will get you nowhere. Just count your blessings.
It’s not a lot, that’s for sure. There’s hardly anything that justifies him getting his hopes up. But he’s alive and breathing, and he can still feel his body. Neck, fingers, toes – all seem fine. He’s extremely uncomfortable but he’s just suspended in a spread-eagled position, with no awkwardly twisted limbs. Nothing really hurts, at least not yet. His helmet is still on and so are his ski goggles, providing some vital protection. He can barely move his head but there’s no snow pressing directly on his face, which means there’s a pocket of air around his head, no matter how small.
Carefully, Hinata tries wriggling his arms loose. He can forget about his right arm; it’s stuck all the way up to his shoulder. His left arm however bends at the elbow. With a few more insistent pulls he pries it free and gingerly moves it up to his face. He manages to pull his goggles down to his chin and blinks into the darkness, searching for even the faintest silhouette, anything that can betray a source of light making it through the cracks – but there’s absolutely nothing.
Hinata wets his chapped lips and swallows, his choked-up throat burning. He gives the snow in front of him a careful, experimental shove. Some parts are as hard and heavy as boulders and won’t budge at all, but other places are powdery and loose, easily coming apart at his fingers – the pros and cons of rotten late winter snow. He pushes at those yielding spots, tries to make his little pocket bigger, even if it’s only by millimeters.
Hinata breathes in, slowly and steadily, keeping the fear at bay as best he can. He didn’t head out to this mountain ridge alone after all. Izumi and Kouji had come with him. They were a little off to the side because Hinata had strayed from the path as usual, determined to reach a fun-looking slope his friends kept warning him about – obviously with good reason. He could hear them yelling, telling him to watch out, right before he was whisked away. He’s not sure but he thinks the dune he was standing on was the only thing that broke free. In that case his friends will definitely have called the emergency number already and help should be on the way. They hadn’t come that far up the mountain yet anyway; a rescue team should be able to get here quickly. Hopefully.
It is what it is. Hinata can only do so much. There’s really nothing left for him to do but wait and somehow make sure he stays awake. In the end he decides to do mental math in order to keep his focus. He figures it’s better to get annoyed and angry with something rather than surrender to pleasant daydreams and possibly drift away forever. He doesn’t want to die thinking about math but he doesn’t want to die in his sleep either. It would be just like giving up, and he’s not giving up. It’s a case of choosing the lesser of two evils – and this time math is the lesser evil, for once.
Hinata has reached a point where he’s struggling with relatively simple subtraction when something pierces through his thoughts and interrupts all the numbers, throwing them into a jumbled blur. He stops and holds his breath. He’s lost all sense of time and he has no idea how many minutes have passed, but that was a sound he heard, he’s sure of it. He can’t tell where it came from or what it was, but that was positively a sound of some kind, reaching him through the snow and the darkness.
Seconds later he hears it again. It’s muffled but high-pitched and sharp, repeating constantly over and over again. Hinata knows he can’t be imagining something like this; it’s too far away, too distinct, and too detached for it to be a hallucination. Besides, there’s emotion behind it, like exhilaration or concern, something that demands immediate attention.
It’s not long until the sound is accompanied by insistent scraping. It seems to multiply and spread throughout his surroundings, creating shifts and movement. It’s coming from somewhere directly above him.
Before Hinata can even try to guess what’s going on, a heavenly gust of air fills his pocket and a thin sliver of light hits him right in the eye. The sound reaches him again and now he recognizes it for what it really is.
It’s a dog.
It’s a dog and it’s barking like mad, its paws continuously scraping at the snow and ice, making the small crack above him break open, piece by piece. Daylight seeps in, turning his surroundings eerily blue, and when Hinata looks up he sees a pointy, black and white snout, followed by a pair of sharp, icy eyes.
A voice shouts in the distance, calling for shovels. The dog continues to bark, constantly disappearing and reappearing in Hinata’s view. He can hear heavy footsteps approaching, running through the crunchy snow, and once again he’s staring into blue eyes, except these ones are human.
“He’s conscious! Dig here!”
Hinata exhales shakily, suddenly overcome by a wave of emotions. Deep down he never truly believed he would ever hear those words; that he was actually going to be rescued in time. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, stubborn as he is, but whatever hope he was holding on to was already rubbed paper-thin. He was close to dying, right there, all alone in the cold darkness. Having to face that truth is so much harsher than he imagined.
“Oi – stay with me,” Blue Eyes says, cutting off Hinata’s thoughts before they get the best of him. “We’ll get you out, alright? Just hang on.”
**
His great physical condition, his friends’ quick reaction, and the rescue team’s prompt response. Those are the main reasons behind Hinata’s survival.
And a good dose of luck, of course.
The doctor told him he’d been extremely fortunate to escape from the ordeal with nothing but a sprained wrist, a couple of broken ribs, and a few bruises and scratches. She also told him he’d most likely spent a lifetime’s worth of luck just to escape this one incident alone. Hinata doesn’t doubt any of that.
He leans back in the hospital bed, grabs the paper bag with fruits and snacks, and peels a banana, munching on it in thoughtful silence.
He’s grateful for his life but he’s also deeply ashamed of everything. He’s ashamed of his decision to go on that trip so unprepared, for making everyone worry, and for making strangers put their own lives on the line just to save his. Once the disaster was a fact he did everything right, but because he didn’t take the necessary precautions he was already wrong from the start. He’s caused so much trouble for so many people. The only way he can possibly repent is if he retreats to a remote monastery and stays there for the rest of his life.
There’s a sharp knock on the door just as he takes another big bite of the banana, and he almost chokes.
Startled, Hinata looks up and meets a face he can’t immediately place in his memory. He frowns, his mind stalling for a second, before he makes proper contact with the stranger’s eyes and a light suddenly flicks on in the back of his mind. Those deep blue eyes are familiar for a good reason. The last time he stared into them he was buried in the snow.
Admittedly, Hinata wasn’t paying much attention to who was hauling him into safety. There were hands and voices everywhere, he was out of his mind and half-delirious, and to be fair it was hard to discern any features or expressions under the cover of safety helmets and merino wool. As far as he knows they were a bunch of faceless, brave people, plus one dog.
This is the first time he meets his blue-eyed rescuer under more normal circumstances. It turns out he’s a young man somewhere around Hinata’s age, probably in his late twenties, possibly early thirties. He’s really tall, practically looming in the doorway, with a dark frown under his smooth, jet-black fringe. What on earth is this guy doing here at the hospital?
Hinata swallows his mouthful with great difficulty and quickly wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Um… hello?”
“…Hey,” the young man says slowly, his voice low and gruff. “I, uh… I really just wanted to check… how you were doing.” He pauses for a second before his expression softens slightly. “I helped rescue you, by the way,” he adds. “Out of the avalanche.”
“Uh… Yeah…” Hinata replies stupidly, all the sudden very conscious of how unkempt and shabby he must look in the presence of his literal savior. He pats awkwardly at his unruly hair and clears his throat. “I know. I… recognized you.”
The frown on the other man’s face darkens again and he finally steps inside the room, fixing Hinata with a sharp glare.
“You’re seriously so lucky you’re still here. Only a fucking dumbass would go skiing down a ridge like that in this mild weather without an airbag or a tracking device of any kind. If it hadn’t been for your friends keeping an eye on you and giving us an estimate of your location you’d be dead by now. What were you doing up there anyway? Making memories?”
The sudden scolding catches him completely off guard. Hinata automatically shrinks back, the harsh authority of this person effectively shutting him down, drowning him in the shame he’s been wallowing in ever since he was admitted. Having all the facts thrown in his face so bluntly really hits home and it hurts. He really is so ashamed by having to hear this. Maybe that’s also the reason why his embarrassment is immediately followed by a spark of anger. Does this guy think he’s completely clueless? He knows all of this already and he doesn’t need to be told again. It won’t change anything. Hinata straightens up as much as his bruised ribs will allow him and glares back.
“I’m sorry but why the hell are you here?”
“It’s common practice for rescue workers to check in afterwards,” Blue Eyes huffs, annoyed. “And, you know, sometimes I even get a thank you.”
“Maybe I’d consider thanking you if you hadn’t started this conversation by yelling at me,” Hinata pouts. “You shouldn’t yell at someone in a hospital bed.”
“But it’s not like I’m wrong.”
They remain glaring at each other for a few seconds, neither of them backing down, but in the end Hinata sighs, defeated. As aggravating as it is to be yelled at by a stranger, and as much as he’d like to prove him differently, he’s actually right. Hinata is a fucking dumbass and he should’ve thanked this guy the moment he came in.
“I know, you’re not wrong,” he agrees with a mumble and slumps against his pillows. “I was an idiot and I’m sorry. Really, thank you so much for saving my life,” he adds sincerely and smiles at the other man. “I can’t ever repay you but I’m pretty much indebted to you for the rest of my existence.”
It’s Blue Eyes’ turn to be taken aback. He splutters and reddens a little, quickly glancing off to the side.
“Well, technically… it was Hiro who saved you.”
“Hiro?”
“My search and rescue dog.”
“Oh…” Hinata grins widely. “That’s a fitting name for a hero – get it?”
Blue Eyes doesn’t say anything, only gives him a look that says he indeed gets it, most likely because he’s heard that joke a thousand times before. His silence is followed by an even bigger silence, which quickly turns awkward. It seems neither of them quite know how to end this strange conversation and Hinata doesn’t like the way it started out, either.
“Listen…” he finally says. “I’ll be discharged tomorrow so… are you busy then?”
Blue Eyes frowns at him. “What’s that gotta do with me?”
“Well, we kinda got off on the wrong foot here and I’d like to repay you somehow. And if possible I also wanna meet your dog and thank him, too.”
“Okay…?”
“See, a colleague of mine is picking me up tomorrow,” Hinata explains eagerly. “I’ll tell him to meet me at the café across the street instead of here. So… if you want, maybe you could hang out with me there while I wait, just for a bit? I’ll buy you a coffee as thanks, or whatever you prefer.”
“Coffee?” Blue Eyes repeats, his frown now replaced by a confused expression, like he’s processing what all of this means.
“Yeah, coffee,” Hinata confirms, amused. “You know, typically it’s hot and you pour it in a cup and then you drink it, maybe add milk and sugar –”
The frown returns on the other man’s face, joined by a faint blush this time. “I know what coffee is.”
“Okay, so – are you free tomorrow or not? Let’s say around lunch or something. I know it’s not much compared to what you’ve done for me, but what do you think? Would you and Hiro care to join me?”
For a moment Blue Eyes looks a bit dumbfounded with this turn of events, as if he’d actually planned to walk in, say his piece, and immediately walk back out. It doesn’t seem like he expected this to be the outcome, not in a million years. He hesitates a little but in the end he glances around the room, fidgets uncomfortably, and then shrugs.
“Sure,” he nods. “I’m free tomorrow.”
**
The next day both man and dog show up at said coffee shop, almost as accurately as clockwork, to Hinata’s great amusement. Since dogs aren’t allowed inside, he orders coffee to go and brings them out in the sunshine. His fractured ribs are still aching a lot despite the painkillers, but Blue Eyes, whose real name is actually Kageyama Tobio, turns out to be a scowling sort of gentleman. He grumblingly offers to open doors and carry Hinata’s overnight bag for him.
Hiro, a thick-coated black and white Border Collie, walks next to them on a slack leash, always half a step behind, as though he’s also being extra polite and thoughtful. Once they’ve found a free bench nearby the dog immediately settles at Kageyama’s feet, bright blue eyes darting attentively between the occasional passer-by and the pigeons pecking at stray crumbs.
“Hiro is very obedient,” Hinata points out. “As expected of a search and rescue dog.”
“Nah.” Kageyama swats his hand dismissively and shrugs. “He’s always showing off around new people. He’ll listen to me when we’re on the job, because he can tell I need him at his best. But most of the time he’s a little shit, you’d be surprised.”
“Is rescue work a full time job?”
“No, I’m volunteering.”
Hinata’s eyes widen. “Really?”
“We’re organized through a local rescue team. I’m actually a firefighter.”
Kageyama busies himself with his coffee, unaware of Hinata staring at him. The fact that he’s a firefighter doesn’t really come as a big surprise; it’s easy to imagine him like that. Kageyama’s height was the first thing that struck him but now that he thinks about it he also looks rather strong and athletic. The outline of his arms is defined even through his windbreaker, and he’s broad-chested and wide-shouldered. No, it’s definitely not surprising that Kageyama is a firefighter.
What is surprising however is the fact that Hinata feels so weird about it. Suddenly he’s very aware of how bothered and embarrassed he is. When he finally catches himself and realizes how shamelessly he’s staring, he breaks out in a furious blush that almost has him sweating.
In the end Kageyama notices his sudden silence and shoots him a sideways glance. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” Hinata blurts out. “Nothing at all, it’s just that I – uh, I can tell. That you’re a firefighter, I mean.”
Kageyama narrows his eyes suspiciously. Next to him Hiro is also staring, head tilted comically. Thankfully he leaves it at that and doesn’t pursue it any further.
“And you?”
“W-what?” Hinata stammers, his voice cracking slightly.
“What do you do for a living, dumbass.”
“Oh, right! My Dad owns a sports shop and I’m the manager there.” He straightens up proudly. “In fact we’re the best and biggest store for sportswear and hiking gear in this part of the city.”
“Huh,” Kageyama replies, mildly surprised. “I honestly wouldn’t have guessed a managerial job for a guy who tries to get himself killed up in the mountains.”
“Shut up about that already,” Hinata groans. “I only do that in my spare time.”
Kageyama smirks. “You only try to get yourself killed in your spare time?”
“No, you jerk,” Hinata protests, his ears burning hot. “I mean skiing, obviously. Sometimes I also go rock climbing, or mountain biking. I enjoy doing that kinda stuff, it’s fun.”
“You sound like an adrenaline junkie.”
“I’m not! I just… I get restless easily, okay?” He picks at the lid of his coffee, sulking. “Being a manager isn’t the most exciting job in the world and I hate sitting still for too long. My body starts itching and I get irritable and tired. So when I do things that are a little risky and potentially dangerous I have to focus, you know? I have no choice but to clear my head of whatever’s unimportant and pull myself together. It’s impossible to replicate a feeling like that elsewhere.”
Kageyama nods thoughtfully. “I think I understand,” he agrees. “I have to do the same thing when I’m at work or on a mission. You could’ve chosen a less risky hobby, though.”
“You could’ve chosen a less risky job!”
“I take precautions.”
“So do I!” Hinata argues, before correcting himself. “…Most of the time.”
Kageyama opens his mouth to reply with something undoubtedly scathing but is interrupted by his buzzing phone. He glances at the message and then clicks his tongue, exasperated.
“I’m sorry, I have to go,” he mutters. “Seems like they need an extra pair of hands at work tonight.”
“Oh… Okay.”
He gets up from the bench and Hinata is actually a little disappointed, which surprises even himself. It seems silly to feel this way about someone he’s just having a casual cup of coffee with, so he smiles widely and tries his best not to show it. He doesn’t notice Hiro looping around his owner’s legs and walking over to him before the dog gingerly places his head in his lap. Hinata looks down to find a pair of intense blue eyes peering up at him and an enthusiastically wagging tail.
“Hey, you’re a good boy,” he tells him, scratching him behind the ear. “Thank you so much for finding me and for being my hero. And I guess you helped a little, too,” he adds and grins up at Kageyama.
“Well…” Kageyama carefully avoids eye contact, his cheeks charmingly rosy, and he ends up talking mostly to the ground instead. “Good luck on your recovery. And…” He hesitates for a second, obviously considering something, before shrugging it off. “Thanks for the coffee.”
Hinata watches Kageyama and Hiro disappear down the street, a sinking feeling in his chest. He doesn’t know on what end of the scale he should place this feeling, or why it’s even there in the first place. The whole thing is confusing and to be honest it kind of bothers him.
“That was a handsome guy.”
Hinata jumps at the sudden voice, causing a brief bolt of pain to shoot up his ribcage. He turns around and finds his colleague, the shop’s purchasing manager, smiling down at him.
“Sugawara-san!” Hinata scrambles to his feet as fast as his bruised ribs will allow him. “Thanks so much for coming to pick me up!”
“No problem at all.” Sugawara picks up his bag and gestures over his shoulder. “Ready to go? I’m parked just down the block, if you’re okay with a short walk.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“So…?” Sugawara quirks an eyebrow, smirking. “Who was that you were talking with?”
“Oh,” Hinata breathes a laugh, his face burning warm again. He clutches his cheeks, embarrassed. “That was one of the guys who rescued me. He came to check on me yesterday and so I offered to meet up for a coffee.”
“Really?” Sugawara looks at him, surprised. “Does he work at the hospital or something?”
“No, he’s a firefighter.”
“And… he came to check on you?”
“Yeah!” Hinata smiles. “He said it was common practice for them to do that.”
Sugawara hums, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “That doesn’t make any sense to me, honestly.”
“Why?”
“Well, I just don’t think any rescue worker has an exact overview of every person they’ve helped. It sounds unlikely that they’d come back to personally check on everyone, unless the patient requests to meet them. I doubt they have the time or resources for it to be common practice.”
Hinata’s mind draws a blank, leaving a big question mark in its place. He hadn’t really thought of it that way. Then again, he didn’t have any reason to. It seemed perfectly reasonable when Kageyama told him. There could also be a bunch of reasons as to why he had the time to stop by, and a bunch of reasons why he said yes to that cup of coffee. If Hinata were wasting his time then he would’ve said something, no doubt. He doesn’t understand why it shouldn’t make sense to Sugawara, but at the same time Hinata can kind of see where he’s coming from.
Sugawara notices his downward spiral of confusion and gives his shoulder a careful, encouraging nudge.
“Don’t mind me, I’m just thinking out loud.” He smiles warmly and winks. “Who knows? Maybe he came to see only you.”
**
Injuries can only heal in their own time, nothing more or less, but anything that implies he has to sit still for longer than half an hour at a time is the same as torture in Hinata’s book. So as soon as the doctor confirms everything looks fine, he wastes no time. The next chance he gets he pulls his running shoes on and is out the door even before the sun is up.
The last couple of months have been the longest of his life, easily. All his favorite activities have been off the table and he’s had no choice but to stay in his office, restlessly swiveling his chair around while staring at his computer. He hasn’t even been allowed to help out in the shop. ‘Taking it easy’ has never been his thing; it doesn’t channel his restlessness into anything worthwhile. So it feels amazing to finally be out and about, and maybe that’s why the air feels cleaner and fresher than usual.
The cold weather is on fast retreat. The remaining snow has crept away, only visible on the most distant mountain peaks, and in a few weeks the cherry blossom season will probably be in full swing. It’s slightly overcast this morning but the sunlight is already bleak on the horizon, painting the sky a soft pastel pink. Hinata is sure it’ll be sunny and warm by the time he heads to work.
He’s already run this far so he decides a loop through the nearest park won’t hurt. It’s still pretty early and the true rush hour hasn’t started yet; most of the people he passes are fellow joggers and dog-walkers. He’d like to absorb more of this peaceful scenery before he has to immerse himself in the opposite, which is costumer service and work schedules.
Hinata has made it halfway through his route and is lost in his own thoughts when a big, fuzzy shape suddenly appears in the corner of his eye. Before he can even turn to look the blur jumps straight at him, almost tearing him down in his tracks, and Hinata gives a yelp of shock before realizing it’s a dog. A black and white dog with unmistakable ice blue eyes.
“Hiro…? Is that you? What–?”
The dog responds to the sound of his name with a sharp bark, like a confirmation, or maybe a greeting, before he jumps up on his hind legs again, reaching high enough to lick Hinata in the face.
“Oi – Hiro!” An angry, fast approaching voice calls out to them from behind. “What the hell are you doing, running off like that. Seriously –”
Hinata turns around, meets another pair of familiar blue eyes, and time literally seems to stop for a short moment. Kageyama, who’s holding a leash in one hand and a squeaky toy in the other, slows down at the sight of them, his mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Hinata –?”
“Kageyama –!”
They both speak at the same time and Hinata blushes, totally blindsided by this sudden encounter. He can’t believe he didn’t immediately connect the dots, that seeing Hiro would most likely mean that Kageyama was also nearby.
“Uh… Hi!” He quickly runs a hand through his sweaty hair. “I didn’t know – I mean, I was surprised.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” Kageyama huffs, visibly embarrassed. “He just took off in the opposite direction all of a sudden. So much for obedience training. Sorry he attacked you like that.”
He briskly clips the leash back on his dog and glares as Hiro carefully takes the squeaky toy in his mouth, a look in his eyes that’s both ashamed and mischievous.
“Not at all!” Hinata shakes his head with a smile. “It’s no big deal, I’m just out on my morning run.”
“Getting a few laps in before work is always nice.”
“I know, right?”
An awkward silence follows where Hinata feels stupid for suddenly not knowing how to carry a simple conversation and Kageyama seems to mentally kick himself for what he just said. Hiro sits between them, perfectly happy, and the toy in his mouth makes a small high-pitched chirp.
“So…” Kageyama continues. “You’ve fully recovered now?”
“Yep! This is my first run in a long time! My injuries were giving me all sorts of hell so I had no choice but to rest.”
“You could’ve been six feet under, you know. Taking it easy for a while isn’t the end of the world.”
“I know that!” Hinata snaps, grimacing. “It’s just so boring being cooped up at work all day.”
Mentioning work reminds him of just that: work. When he checks his watch he realizes he’s almost ten minutes behind schedule and that he’ll have to seriously get a move on if he wants to open the store on time.
“Shit, I really have to run.” He sighs and looks up. “Sorry.”
“That’s fine, don’t let us keep you,” Kageyama says with a little wave of his hand. He hesitates, once again seemingly contemplating something before changing his mind. “Um… Have a good day?”
“Yeah…” Hinata smiles weakly, wanting to stay but knowing he has no good reasons to do so, and that sinking feeling settles in his chest again. “You too.”
**
The entire week Hinata finds it unusually difficult to focus on work. Normally he’s a very efficient, engaging manager. He tries to lend a helping hand anywhere he can, he loves to chat with both employees and customers, and he generally wants to make everyone feel included. Lately however he’s been quiet and absentminded, miles away from his sunny demeanor. Consequently, he’s made a few mistakes, purely on accident. They’re mostly minor blunders, like getting work schedules mixed up and forgetting to put up the advertising displays – and that’s okay. Anyone can make those mistakes. That said, in the same week he’s also managed to mess up bigger, more bothersome things, such as ordering way too many paper cups for the water cooler in the break room. Thanks to Hinata they now have a big enough supply to last them at least a year, and nowhere to actually store the extra boxes. Everyone is encouraged to drink more water (and Sugawara is probably never going to let him live this one down).
He could’ve blamed it on the usual restlessness and the perpetually busy state of his mind, or he could’ve chalked it up to the anxious aftermath of his accident. But he’s handled the situation just fine, in his opinion. He’s rarely had any nightmares at all and he doesn’t mind getting questions about his experience. He’s even pretty sure he’ll go skiing again next winter; he’s kind of already planning it.
It doesn’t have anything to do with that and Hinata knows it all too well. His mind is distracted because he can’t stop thinking about Kageyama.
It’s hard to admit this fact because it’s really embarrassing and stupid and not to mention weird to be daydreaming about the guy who just happened to save your life. It’s probably not uncommon but it’s so pointless. He doesn’t even know him and yet they share such a special, private memory. Kageyama has seen Hinata at his absolute weakest and most vulnerable, they have a bond already whether they want to or not, and they’ll have that in common forever even though he most likely won’t see him again. It all feels so incomplete and it’s bothering him.
Hinata sighs, struggling with the mannequin he’s trying to dress. Losing focus like this is just a waste of everyone’s time. These lingering, brooding thoughts won’t change anything. Sometimes random circumstances work in the strangest ways and on that day he just so happened to be standing in the path of an avalanche. That’s it. If he could go back in time, make different choices, and avoid the accident, then he would’ve done so. Sure, he’d probably never meet Kageyama or Hiro if he did, but it would be fine. He wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place because he’d be none the wiser. Of course he’d go back and change things if he could.
“I definitely would,” Hinata repeats under his breath, ignoring the way his gut twists and protests at the thought. That doesn’t seem right either, for some reason.
He’s about to pull the pants of a tracksuit onto the mannequin when someone loudly clears their throat, right behind him. Hinata jumps and loses his grip, his arms suddenly full of clothes and deadweight fiberglass, and the leg of the doll pops right off and bounces away.
Annoyed, he glares over his shoulder, just in time to see Kageyama pick the detached dummy leg up from the floor.
“Hey…” he says awkwardly and attempts a smile. “Sorry for startling you.”
“What’re you doing here?” Hinata blurts out. His heart is racing wildly, apparently busy pumping all the blood in his body to his face, by the feel of it.
“I’m shopping,” Kageyama pouts and glances around. “Is that not allowed?”
“Well,” Hinata mutters, deeply embarrassed that he’s once again caught off guard. “Give me a hand with this thing first. And that leg, thanks.”
With some difficulty they somehow manage to dress the mannequin and scramble it into something upright and decent. Hinata straightens his shirt, puts on his store manager persona, and smiles. He honestly has no idea what he’s doing; his brain has kind of switched to autopilot at this point.
“Looking for anything specific?”
“Just… a new hoodie,” Kageyama says vaguely, his hand making a fluttering motion in the general direction of everything. “If you have any.”
“Of course we do!” Hinata says brightly.
He leads the way further into the store, wondering why Kageyama decided to come here to buy a simple hoodie. To be fair, he could find one in several other shops for a much cheaper price. Their sale has even ended.
“Isn’t Hiro with you today?”
“He’s waiting outside.”
“Oh. Obviously.” Hinata slows down at their hoodie and sweatshirt selection, where all the new spring arrivals are already on display. “Uh – so this is it,” he says and gestures at the wall. “Did you have a particular brand in mind, or…?”
“Not really,” Kageyama shrugs. “This one’s nice.”
He reaches for literally the closest garment, a black and blue cotton half zip (that admittedly would look great on him and his broad shoulders). He checks the label for size, nods to himself, and then turns around sharply, heading for the register.
“Oi –” Hinata stares, baffled. “Aren’t you gonna try it on at least?”
“Nope.”
“Damn, you’re efficient,” he mumbles and hurries after him.
Hinata removes the security tag and scans the label in silence. He’s working noticeably slower than usual even though he knows very well what he’s doing, but he mentally excuses himself with the fact that it’s been a while. Manning the register isn’t normally among his daily work tasks. He wants to ask Kageyama how come he didn’t seem surprised to find him working there, why he seemed more relieved than anything. As far as Hinata can remember he never told him specifically where he worked, he just said their store was the best and biggest. And everyone says that when talking about their store. In reality the district is packed with great competitors who’ll call themselves ‘the best and biggest’. He briefly considers the possibility he might’ve actually been looking for him but quickly rejects that thought. The guy wanted to buy a hoodie, he prefers sports brands, and he just happened to wander into Hinata’s store. No big deal.
Kageyama pays for his purchase and Hinata fumbles with the receipt. He wonders what he should send him off with, whether he should go for a formal ‘thanks for shopping with us’ or a casual ‘goodbye’ or maybe even a daring ‘see you again’ – but Kageyama beats him to it.
“Wanna have dinner?”
The question comes out in a rush, so fast it sounds like one long nonsense word squished together, and it’s so surprising and unexpected it short-circuits Hinata’s brain for a second. Kageyama presses his lips together, face red, and Hinata stares back at him, speechless.
“Wha-?” he says stupidly.
“Do you… wanna have dinner?” Kageyama says again, looking both embarrassed and annoyed with having to repeat himself.
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, dinner. You know, typically you put some food on a plate and then you eat it.”
There’s a faint glint of amusement in his blue eyes and Hinata recognizes his own joke through the chaos of his thoughts. He grins widely despite himself.
“Shut up. I know what dinner is.”
“I meant dinner together with me,” Kageyama clarifies, as though it wasn’t already obvious. “Just… someday, whatever day lines up with your schedule. And mine. If you want.”
“So…” Hinata scrambles to get all his words in order without kicking his brain into overdrive. “Were you thinking a restaurant or…?”
“At first I did, yeah,” Kageyama admits and then hesitates, rubs his neck sheepishly. “But not many restaurants allow pets and I’m not keen on leaving Hiro alone for too long, so… I was honestly thinking my place.”
“Your place…?”
“I’m sorry if that’s like, weird or anything.”
“N-no, that’s not it!” Hinata exclaims. “I was just… are you sure? You don’t mind being responsible for the food and everything?”
“I’m a great cook,” Kageyama says, somewhat nonchalantly. “If you don’t believe me then all you have to do is show up. I’ll prove you wrong.”
Hinata isn’t going to pretend that his mind isn’t still reeling from this invitation, or from this whole encounter alone, or from the way his life seems to be progressing these days – but those words almost sound like a challenge and something within his chest responds with a light flutter.
“Alright then,” he agrees, and tries not to smile too widely as he hands Kageyama his change and his shopping bag. “I’ll give you a chance to prove me wrong.”
**
They agree to meet on a Monday, of all days. Weekends are definitely the busiest for Hinata, since that’s when most people choose to go out and do their shopping. As it turns out, weekends are also pretty busy for Kageyama. People typically engage in more activities during their days off, which sometimes results in a peak in accidents. Therefore, Monday evening it is.
Kageyama lives in a decent enough neighborhood, located at the tail end of a narrow alleyway packed with bars and eateries. There’s a convenience store right on his block and a subway station a few hundred meters down the street, which is where Hinata came from. It’s not exactly city center but he’s got all connections within walking distance.
His apartment complex is also pretty standard, with an exterior staircase, no balconies, and a handful of parking spots in the front yard. Kageyama’s apartment is the first one on the second floor, and Hinata is halfway up the stairs when he suddenly stops. He just realized he’s showing up empty-handed. Maybe he should’ve brought a gift of some kind, like wine or beer or something, since he’s the guest and all. A glance at his watch shows he’s about five minutes early, which means he could make it to the convenience store, buy a six-pack, and still make it back on time, if he sprints.
Hinata rushes down the steps as fast as he can but has barely made it to the bottom when he hears the click of a door, followed by Kageyama’s voice drifting towards him.
“Where are you going?”
Hinata swivels around and finds the other man leaning over the railing, looking down at him with a frown that’s both amused and confused.
“Oh – I was just –” he stammers, gesturing down the street. “I wanted to run to the convenience store real quick.”
“Why? You need something?”
“I forgot to bring a gift.”
Kageyama’s frown grows deeper. “Why the hell would you bring a gift?”
“Because –” that’s what you’d usually do for a date, Hinata’s brain finishes for him and he abruptly cuts himself off.
Okay, that’s not it. This isn’t a date. They’re just having dinner together. Nobody ever said anything about it being an actual date. Besides, people have dinner together all the time without anything romantic behind it. This is one of those dinners.
“Because what?”
“Um… Because you’re the host and it’s polite?”
“This isn’t a baby shower, dumbass.” Kageyama snorts a laugh and motions for him to come up. “Get a move on or I’ll give your share to the dog.”
Said dog enthusiastically welcomes Hinata the moment he enters the apartment. Hiro seems set on hyping him up and proceeds to zoom several times around his legs, barking loudly. He makes such a ruckus that Kageyama has to finally step in and strictly tell him to shut the hell up.
Hinata takes his shoes off and looks around. The place is maybe a hint smaller than Hinata’s but definitely big enough to comfortably house a person and a medium-sized dog. It’s nice and warm and looks homey in a way that’s both endearingly personal and carefully planned. There’s a certain style to everything, even if it’s subtle. Hinata doesn’t know if he’s been tidying up for this occasion or if it’s always this clean, but it’s not at all the messy bachelor’s den he had sort of expected.
“Your place is real nice!” Hinata says truthfully as he steps into the living room. “Have you lived here long?”
“A couple of years now,” Kageyama tells him from the kitchen. “I’ll join you in a minute, I’m just gonna fix something for Hiro first. Feel free to take a seat.”
He busies himself with a container of dog food, carefully mixing it with an appropriate amount of dry kibble, and there’s something really sweet about it. Hinata doesn’t know how to put it into words. Maybe it’s Hiro waiting patiently next to him, ready for his meal, or maybe it’s the fact that they’ll all be eating together, like a family. Or maybe it’s just the way Kageyama’s shoulders move, or the slight bend of his neck, or the broad of his back, or all of these dumb, irrelevant things that Hinata can’t seem to look away from. He’s wearing the new hoodie he bought, too. It does sit very nicely on him…
“What’re you spacing out for?”
He snaps out of his mind and back into the present. Kageyama is staring at him, a bowl of soy sauce in his hand, his head tilted quizzically. Hinata has no idea how long he’s been standing here, just daydreaming. He mutters an embarrassed apology and stiffly kneels at the dining table.
Luckily, all the food soon diverts his attention. It turns out Kageyama has really put some honest heart and effort into this meal. There’s chicken with bean sprouts, stir-fried pork, shrimp tempura, and grilled fish. On the side there’s fresh salad, pickles, and miso soup. All of it is completed with steaming rice, as well as the beer Hinata had almost rushed to buy. Everything looks delicious and his mouth is already watering.
“Wow!” he marvels. “Is all of this homemade?”
“Most of it. What – did you really think I’d serve you takeout?”
“Well…” Hinata smiles apologetically. “Maybe kinda?”
He catches a brief glimpse of a satisfied smirk as Kageyama cracks open a beer and hands it to him. “Just admit you were wrong and eat.”
The meal lives up to all expectations and Hinata gradually relaxes in Kageyama’s company. He doesn’t exactly come off as a particularly talkative or eloquent type, and even now they’re just making idle small talk, but Hinata is surprised at how easy it is to keep a conversation going. Kageyama is actually pretty funny in his own unintentional, halting way and Hinata soon finds out they’re not that different after all. On the surface they’re essentially the same stubborn, blockheaded, overly competitive type, they’re sore losers and proud winners, but deep down they share a lot of the same values, of commitment, hard work, and victory whenever possible.
“Here, take this,” Kageyama says to Hiro, who’s been showing him his most persuasive puppy eyes for the best part of the evening. “Enough begging, alright? Quit it.”
Hiro accepts the piece of chicken with a wag of his tail and slinks contentedly away to his bed in the corner.
“I swear,” Kageyama sighs, defeated. “He knows I’m too soft to say no to him. He’s like a really smart baby.”
“Exactly how old is he?”
“Turning eight next month. Probably gonna have to retire him soon.”
Hinata blinks at him, surprised. “But eight isn’t old.”
“No, but it is in dog years, and especially in our line of work. He still has a few good years left as a retiree, though.”
“So… what’re you gonna do when he retires?”
“Train a new dog, I guess.” Kageyama shrugs, hesitates. “Retired dogs like Hiro are usually adopted by a new family, where they can live the rest of their lives relaxed and happy. So... that’s good.”
He says it casually enough but there’s something about his expression that tugs at Hinata’s heart. The mood has dropped considerably within just a few seconds and he finds it unexpectedly painful, even a little shocking. He sits back on his heels, stunned.
“You really have to give him away? Aren’t there any other options?”
Kageyama just shrugs again and fiddles with his chopsticks, pushing a leftover piece of pickled radish around on his plate.
“I don’t have the room – or the budget – for more than one dog. But I’d definitely keep him if I could. Hiro is special to me, in many ways. He’s… kind of a legacy.”
“Legacy?” Hinata frowns. “What do you mean?”
Kageyama chews on his lip and pauses for a moment, carefully considering his words. At last he puts his chopsticks down, his hands coming to a rest. Hinata watches his long fingers, loosely intertwined with each other, and he wonders if maybe he shouldn’t have asked about the dog in the first place.
“Hiro used to be my Dad’s. He was on a rescue team too, and trained a lot of dogs in the past. I think it was a passion for him, you know? He was pretty good at it. Anyway – not many years ago they were on a mission as usual when things went south. The conditions were dangerous, the weather surprised them, and – well, it was bad. Many of the guys on that team didn’t make it, my Dad included.”
Hinata inhales, just a soft, silent breath. He’d love nothing more than to take a hold of Kageyama’s hand and give it a reassuring squeeze, but he can’t bring himself to interrupt him. So he remains quiet, struggling against the urge to reach across the table.
“I always thought about volunteering together with him someday, get him to teach me stuff,” Kageyama continues, smiling a little. “But then I got my diploma, found work, and just never got around to it. So… after that accident I decided to finally join them and start from scratch with Hiro. It seemed like the right thing to do.”
His hands begin to wander again, looking for something to do, and Hiro comes to him quietly, as though he read his mind. The dog gives his elbow a nudge, almost encouragingly, and Kageyama’s hands settle in his fur, finally occupied with rubs and scratches.
Hinata watches them, his throat tightening. They’re not just a working dog and his handler. Kageyama has put a lot more than plain effort into their teamwork; he’s poured all his love and guilt and sadness into it, too. Hiro may not be able to understand his words but Hinata is sure he can sense what his owner is feeling. It’ll be hard for both of them to break the bond they have and start over again elsewhere.
“I don’t even know what to say…” he murmurs in a low voice. “Kageyama, I – I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah…” Kageyama nods slowly, eyes glazed over for a moment, before he shakes his head. “It can’t be helped. I could give up on volunteering and keep the dog, we could go on with our lives, but… I can’t do that. This work is something I need to do.”
They fall into heavy, thoughtful silence, a silence where it’s difficult to change the subject and pick up the conversation again. They’ve come to a full stop here, whether they like it or not. Hinata checks the time and realizes it’s gotten pretty late. It’s still a regular workday tomorrow, an early start like every other morning, and he should get going if he wants to catch the last train home. Kageyama also notices the late hour and starts reaching for the empty dishes.
“Thanks so much for tonight,” Hinata says sincerely and smiles. “It was nice. I had a good time.”
“Sure, no problem. I’ll…” He stops, corrects himself. “We’ll walk you to the station.”
The evening is dark but crisp, with distant city sounds rising up and fading into the starlit sky. Most of the houses and buildings on this street are quiet now, only lit warmly from inside, joined by flickering television lights and shadows moving behind drawn curtains. Someone puts their trash bags out for next morning’s pick-up, others are returning home from late overtime; all of them disappear behind closed doors just as quickly as they appeared.
Hiro confidently leads the way, perking up at any small movement in the dark, every once in a while marking a lamp post or the corner of a fence. Hinata wants to speak but for once he’s run out of words. It seems like Kageyama has, too.
He shared his experiences so freely and Hinata can’t stop thinking about it. It was so surprising, the way he suddenly opened up about such a vulnerable part of his life, choosing to take the conversation one level up from the small talk and confide in him. Hinata thinks Kageyama must feel the same way he does sometimes, in those moments when he has to literally throw himself out there to get that brief rush of freedom. He may have chosen a different outlet but the restlessness inside his heart is the same. Hinata has faced it so many times he can easily recognize it in others.
He absently watches the tip of Hiro’s bushy tail as it swishes calmly from side to side. It’s been a strange evening. He can’t help but feel that both he and Kageyama are sort of unhappy with how this dinner ended. It’s the kind of ending they can’t really come back to; it’s too open and ambiguous. Next, they’re going to stop outside the subway station, offer their casual goodbyes, and then –
An idea suddenly occurs to Hinata. It takes shape so quickly it has moved from his brain to his lips in no time, and once it’s out in the open it seems like the most brilliant thing ever. It must’ve been thanks to the hypnotizing swing of that dog tail.
“What if I adopt him?”
“Huh?”
“What if I adopt Hiro? Once he’s retired?”
Kageyama slows down a little, his brows pulling into a frown. “Why would you do that…? Do you even know how to take care of a dog?”
“I have room in my apartment,” Hinata insists, and starts counting on his fingers. “My landlord allows pets, I’m super active as are all my friends, and I can guarantee you he’ll get lots of exercise and love and attention. Plus he already knows me so changing owners won’t be that big of an adjustment for him. Like, how hard can it be?”
“A lot harder than you’d think!” Kageyama counters. “So much responsibility comes with keeping a pet, you have no idea. Honestly, you shouldn’t rush into things so impulsively. Seems like that’s a bad personality trait of yours –”
“If I adopt Hiro you can see him as much as you want,” Hinata interrupts him without thinking.
Kageyama shuts up in an instant. He freezes to a halt and stares at him, as though mulling his words over in his mind, trying to process their meaning. He isn’t, though. He knows exactly what he said. Hinata can tell from the way his ears have turned bright red.
“I mean –” Hinata swallows, his mouth dry and his face hot. “It’s not like Hiro would mind seeing you often. And… I wouldn’t mind seeing you often, either.”
There’s no reply to this because Kageyama is suddenly nudged in Hinata’s direction. At the same time something pulls tightly across the back of Hinata’s knees, pushing him closer to Kageyama. They awkwardly stumble into each other before either of them can figure out what’s going on. Both of them look down, confused, only to discover that Hiro has been pacing in impatient circles around them and eventually gotten them both tangled up in his leash.
“Ah, this dog,” Kageyama huffs, the blush now spreading rapidly from his ears to his neck. “He can be so –”
Hinata shuts down all logic and reason, working quickly within a blank space that runs on nothing but intuition and bravery. He loops his arms around Kageyama’s shoulders and pulls him the last few millimeters closer. Before he can say anything or even react, Hinata tilts his head up, closes his eyes, and kisses him.
Everything – the distant rumble of the subway, the faint chatter reaching them from the street food alley, even the starlit sky and the whole neighborhood itself – all of it seems to briefly disappear. Hinata is convinced that nobody else exists but the three of them, and when Kageyama’s arms press around his waist, his lips locked softly against his, there’s really no reason for him to think otherwise. His surroundings are spinning again, around and around and around, gradually narrowing into this tiny spot, but it’s not a bad thing at all. Right now Hinata wants his entire world to be nothing but this very moment.
The only thing that comes between them when they break apart is the chilly evening air, but Kageyama’s breath still hangs onto Hinata’s lips, like a warm ghost. He borders on lightheaded and realizes he’s been holding his breath, his hands clutched tightly around soft cotton. Kageyama’s eyes are half-lidded and slightly unfocused as he looks back at him, his cheeks flushed a feverish red, but he makes no move to let go.
“I… think I’ve missed the last train already,” Hinata whispers, mostly in want of something to break the quiet with.
“Probably,” Kageyama hums. “But… you adopted my dog on the spot just now so… I guess it’d be weird if you left so soon. You might as well start taking responsibility right away.”
“I will,” Hinata grins. “I promise.”
They eventually untangle themselves from the dog leash and each other, before slowly making their way back to Kageyama’s apartment, hands linked. Hinata glances at Hiro, who’s running ahead with a spring in his step that seems more lighthearted than ever. He smiles to himself.
Out of the three of them, there’s only one true hero. They all know perfectly well who that is.