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For years, Atem wondered what it would be like to touch his partner- really touch him
Sure, he touched Yugi in spirit form, in a way, but it was never real
It was never the same kind of real, solid touch that two corporal, living human beings could give to eachother
At the end of the day, his hand always phased right through
He couldn't feel anything
He couldn't feel warmth or pleasure or softness
He couldn't feel the tightness of a warm embrace or sweep his fingers through soft hair or drag his thumb across sweet, plush lips....
He could do nothing but merely exist, wich was ... it's own type of torture
As much as he loved being with Yugi, as much as he loved being part of Yugi, he couldn't help but long for a day when he could actually touch his partner
He longed for it desperately
When the day finally came when he could touch Yugi- or, rather, he supposed, when Yugi could touch him- when his partner was running around his memories, trying to protect him, and he wrapped his arm around Atem, held him close, squeezed his hand....
For a breif moment, the split second it took between accepting that touch and rising to the challenge set before him, he reveled in that touch
He sank into it, he let himself inhale and for a moment, just a short moment, he let himself tune out everything else around him
He let himself live in that second of peacefullness and warmth and touch and he let himself believe that he could keep it
He couldn't, ofcourse
He knew that
But for that moment he let himself believe it anyway, hoping it would make things easier when the inevitable came
It didn't
Ofcourse it didn't
When he returned to Yugi in a body of his own, the first thing they did was touch
They embraced for what felt like hours, holding onto eachother almost desperately and refusing to let go
Atem had lost count of the amount of minutes that ticked by waiting on one of them to loosen his grip on the other, but they never did
Atem didn't think they let go of eachother- truly let go- all night, he was sure that they had spent the entire evening touching in some way
When not holding eachother, then holding hands, when not holding hands, then with one leg wrapped around the other's, when not that, then kissing...
Oh the kissing
It was the most indescribable and magnificent bliss that Atem had ever had the pleasure of experiencing
It was like everything in his world was right there in the palm of his hand for a moment
It was passionate volcanic fires and calm ocean waves all at once, no matter if it was just a chaste peck on the cheek or if it was a frenzied make out session
It didn't seem to matter
It was always nothing short of ecstasy
They did far more than kiss, ofcourse
They touched, they held, they wrapped eachother up in warm blankets of ecstasy and passion and they refused to let eachother go
And Atem loved that
He truly did, he loved it more than he could ever describe, but that wasn't his favorite thing, that wasn't his favorite type of touch, or his favorite way to be touched
No, his favorite was cuddling
He loved to be held, to be wrapped in Yugi's warmth, safe and secure in his lover's arms
He loved the sensation of Yugi's breath on the back of his neck and his lips against Atem's flesh
He loved the slight movements, the curl and uncurl of fingers or the rise and fall of his partner's chest
He loved everytime that Yugi shifted in his sleep and every moment that he twitched or tossed or turned
He loved it because it was simple and innocent and sweet
He loved it because it was the pentultimate of touch- being wrapped in the warmth of another, and able to wrap Yugi in his own warmth as well
He loved it because he had never had it before, and he knew that he never would again- not outside of Yugi, that is
Yugi was it for him
He was everything for him
He was everything that Atem wanted and loved and wanted to be loved by
He was the sun and moon and stars as far as the pharaoh was concerned
And when he held Atem, he knew that he was safe
He knew that no matter what, come what may, as long as he had Yugi with him, nothing could hurt him- nothing could hurt either of them
Atem would make sure of that
He could curl into the soft comfort of Yugi's space and feel how at peace everything was, and that set his mind at ease
All of his senses were alight at once
He could see Yugi's chest moving up and down as he breathed, hear his partner's heart beating beneath his ribs, smell the sweet perfume of his scent and with a few kisses could taste the sweetness of his skin
And Atem could feel
He could feel everything
And that was what he wanted most
That was what he loved most about being alive again, in his own flesh and blood and bones again
The fact that he could feel again
Atem hadn't really appreciated the sensation of touch when he was alive the first time, not in his honest opinion, he had just... never given it much thought
And he had longed for it oh so desperately during his time in the puzzle, the one thing that he missed above all else and swore to never let go of if he were lucky enough to get it back
And now, on his third try at life, he finally had it
And this time, he swore, he wouldn't take it for granted
This time, he swore, he would let himself linger in every single moment, count every last second, insist on each and every and any opportunity to hold and be held by Yugi
Because he never wanted to miss the sensation of touch again
Especially when that touch came from Yugi