CoolestofBeans
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Summary
Ten years ago, a boy with amber-brown eyes saves Herm's life.
Now, the same man offers to tie his tie for him, the smile in his eyes exactly the same as it was when he was younger. And when the same man, with the same smile, offers a spot for him on the team...
There's really not much Herm can say about it. He's by no means the most eloquent person in the world, and he's certainly no good at expressing his feelings. But there's one thing he knows for certain.
He's so screwed.
(Alternatively: the waterboy route everyone wanted.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,133
- Chapters:
- 6/?
- Comments:
- 212
- Kudos:
- 1,135
- Bookmarks:
- 210
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- 12,982
Bookmarked by CoolestofBeans
10 Dec 2025
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Summary
The villain's face turned blue. Robert was suddenly face to face with the memory of Shroud’s neck in his hands, blood rendering his face unrecognizable, watching as the life drained out of his eyes - so much anger, so much pain, the sick satisfaction he felt after it was over.
Being a hero was the worst part of him as much as it was the best part of him.
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Robert Robertson has to make the decision to return on the scene as Mechaman, or return to his life of dispatching. Regardless, his decision is in vain when he's the only one able to go on a mission covertly after a hospital is hit with a hostage situation and a bomb threat, since the public doesn't know his real identity. Herm honestly just wishes his happiness didn't overlap with getting in harm's way.
Takes place on the route where Robert kills Shroud, Invisigal embraces heroism, and Robert doesn't romance anyone.
Slowburn WaterMech feelings ensues.
Series
- Part 1 of Ocean Waves
Bookmarked by CoolestofBeans
09 Dec 2025
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Summary
“No fucking way,” he said out loud, squinting at the thumbnail. Was that Waterboy?
It looked like some sort of music video. Waterboy was in the thumbnail, holding a microphone with a gloved hand. He looked emotional, eyes closed and mouth wide open, presumably singing. There was some sort of face paint around his eyes, and the black was streaming down his face like mascara in watered-down rivers. His lips were black as well, spreading color down his chin and neck. His hair was spiked up, and he was wearing dark clothes and some sort of spiked choker. He appeared significantly younger, too, with a more round, babyish face and big, chunky glasses over his eyes. Despite all this, it was undeniably Herman. Robert recognized the sharp slope of his nose, pout of his lips, redness of his hair, and, of course, his ever-present wetness.
AKA: Waterboy has an embarrassing emo band YouTube channel from high school, and Robert finds it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,229
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 458
- Bookmarks:
- 43
- Hits:
- 2,659
Bookmarked by CoolestofBeans
05 Dec 2025
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Summary
Common had always sloshed about in Caleb’s mouth like dirty water, or perhaps like a bad beer, all fizz and fuzz with no depth. Speaking it was a journey — one had to sit about and construct feelings and sensations, when in Zemnian he would have plucked the perfect word straight from the air.
A brief meditation on language, love, and the dialect of home.
Series
- Part 2 of Exercises & Drabbles
Bookmarked by CoolestofBeans
30 Nov 2025
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the intolerant brightness of your charms by yakuzapalooza
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
27 Dec 2025
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Herman is known online in some circles as Mecha-Man’s #1 fan. After Mecha-Man retires, he’s completely devastated until someone dares to ask him why he likes Mecha-Man so much.
Of course, he’d pass away if he knew the person that asked him WAS Mecha-Man. Good thing that the account is anonymous…
Series
- Part 1 of the intolerant brightness of your charms
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,036
- Chapters:
- 14/16
- Comments:
- 1,897
- Kudos:
- 4,473
- Bookmarks:
- 666
- Hits:
- 63,068
Bookmarked by CoolestofBeans
21 Nov 2025