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If one were to look at Isak Valtersen before and after he met Even Bech Næsheim, they wouldn’t believe he was the same person. It was like Even unlocked all of Isak’s best qualities, the ones that had always been there but just needed some encouragement to come forth.
Maybe that came with Isak’s self-acceptance of being gay. He had never minded nor given much thought to anyone being gay — it was totally fine! But once upon a time, it was only him who couldn’t be. Not because it was a bad thing. Because it wasn’t. It was just … why did it have to be him?
He’d gotten past that, though. Perhaps it was a combination of living with Eskild, meeting Even, and simply getting older and growing as a person. Who knew? It didn’t matter. In the end, Isak was happy. Happier than he had ever been.
Acceptance wasn’t linear, though. Some days, he wanted to scream to the world “I’m gay!”, kiss his boyfriend in public places and tell everyone he was a proud homosexual, dating a beautiful, imaginative, caring, wonderful, perfect boy. Isak could go on about Even all day.
But there were other days, worse ones, where he just wanted to hide in his room, scared of the world and its horrors against people like him, people who weren’t hurting anyone, simply trying to be content through loving who they loved. On those days, he inched away from Even when in public, reverting to the old bro-Isak who so desperately wanted people to think he fulfilled society’s expectations. On those days, Sana usually had to talk some sense into him and the boys would show their support for Isak’s sexuality to get him to re-emerge from his shell.
Today was a good day, though. It was Friday and Isak had planned a quiet but perfect date night with Even completely confined to the Kollectiv. Isak was not what you could call a social butterfly. Nights spent indoors were always his favourite, snuggled with Even in his bed or on the couch in the living room, paying more attention to Even’s excited rambling than the pretentious movies that Isak would never admit to loving.
For now, however, they had to go to school. It was nearly the end of the year, which meant less coursework, and that did help a little bit. Isak stood at the light rail station by the Kollectiv, rocking back and forth on his heels with his hands shoved in his pockets, Nas blaring in his earphones. So, he didn’t hear Even sneak behind him.
When Even’s arms wrapped around Isak’s waist, Isak jolted and spun around frantically. He shouldn’t be surprised by this anymore — it happened at least once a week. Yet, he was always shocked by Even's sudden appearances. Even laughed, eyes crinkling and revealing his perfect smile. Isak’s attempt at being stern lasted for barely a few seconds, Even’s grin too infectious for him to resist mirroring it.
“Good morning,” Even greeted as they both calmed down, snaking his arms around Isak’s waist again.
“Hi,” Isak smiled, resting his hands on Even’s shoulders. They stood like that for the few minutes it took for their tram to arrive, not caring who was watching them. When it did arrive, they moved away from each other and boarded the tram.
After sitting down squished next to each other in the cramped seats, Isak decided to be bold and take Even’s hand. Even looked down, smiling softly as Isak traced his thumb in small circles on the back of his hand. They both watched the small movement contentedly on the short trip to Nissen.
When they reached their stop, Even went to let go of Isak's hand as they both stood up but Isak stopped him, squeezing Even’s palm slightly. Even tilted his head at him, smiling, then interlaced their fingers and squeezed back. Isak’s face broke out into a grin and his face heated slightly. Even led them into the courtyard towards Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi, who all looked at Even and Isak’s joined hands and put on shit-eating grins. Isak just shook his head and ducked his face into his scarf. They chatted idly with the boys for a couple of minutes before the bell sounded, then headed off towards their lockers.
“I suppose this is where we part,” Even sighed dramatically, yet to release his hold on Isak’s hand.
“I guess,” Isak responded just as over-the-top. “Whatever will we do until lunch?”
“Lament,” Even said daintily, using his free hand to pretend-faint. Isak rolled his eyes, chuckling.
“Isak!” a voice called from down the hallway. Isak and Even both turned to see Sana waiting, her facial expression unimpressed but eyes looking at least somewhat amused. “Come on. Biology.”
“Coming!” he replied, before looking back at Even. “I’ll see you later.”
“Farewell, my love,” Even said, pressing the back of Isak’s hand to his mouth before finally dropping it delicately, one finger at a time. Isak let out a giggle he would never admit to and reluctantly walked away from Even, looking over his shoulder at his boyfriend, who was very dramatically pretending to cry. Shaking his head fondly, Isak looked forward and started the trek to Biology class with Sana.
“You boys,” she shook her head, but she was grinning. Isak laughed, and with one final glance and wave to Even, who finally seemed to have gotten himself together and was getting ready for class, he was ready to get through the school day.
The road to self-acceptance was made up of stages. Sometimes, you had to move backwards before you could surge forwards. Thankfully, Isak had people he loved and who loved him to help him get through.