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Even spared another glance at his phone, tapping the screen to check the time. 3:49 AM. It was Friday night - or rather, Saturday morning - and he had yet to fall asleep despite having been lying in bed for a few hours now. He wasn’t the only one, though.
“I’m back,” Isak grumbled from the doorway as he tried not to spill any water from the glasses he held in each hand. He used his foot to push the door closed, nearly losing his balance before steadying himself. Even huffed a laugh and reached out to take one of the glasses to place on the floor beside him. Isak plopped his onto the ground on his own side before jumping onto the bed and sitting next to Even with his back against the wall.
“This sucks,” he whispered, grabbing one of Even’s hands and toying with his fingers. Even made his hand go slack and just watched with vague interest as Isak bent and straightened his fingers one by one.
“Yeah,” he agreed, not really knowing what else to say. Isak started poking his palm with one finger, and after a few times Even snapped his hand shut and held onto it, like a baby would hold someone’s finger. Isak grinned, gently tugging his hand away without any real will to make Even let go. Even just tightened his grip unrelentingly.
“Is anyone awake?” he asked after a few minutes of silence. “We could go out into the living room.”
“Only Linn is home, but she’s in her room,” Isak replied softly, already getting up without removing his finger from Even’s grip. “We’ll just have to be quiet.”
“Okay,” Even nodded, grabbing his water to take a sip and following Isak out of the bedroom and down the hallway towards the living room. Isak finally shook his hand free from Even’s and made Even sit down, before flopping across the whole couch and burying his face in Even’s lap.
“You good there?” Even laughed softly, resting one arm across the back of the couch. Isak grumbled, rolling over so he was facing Even’s stomach.
“I’m tired,” he mumbled, looking sideways up at Even. Even nodded, placing his remaining hand on Isak’s head and scratching slightly behind his ear. Isak sighed. “My mind won’t slow down.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Even offered.
Isak shrugged against Even’s thigh. “S’nothing new. School is hell. Once I get going it’s hard to stop. I just haven’t crashed yet.”
Even could definitely relate. “Yeah, I know,” he responded. Even if he wasn’t a chronic insomniac the way Isak was, Even’s episodes were all moving too fast before crashing hard.
It had been a long time since Even had a major episode of any kind, several months at least. He was feeling a sort of anticipatory dread at this point, just waiting for the other foot to fall.
“Hey,” Isak said, snapping Even out of his thoughts. “What’re you thinking about?”
“Just … you know when things are going really well?” Even asked, looking up at the wall as he spoke. He continued to scratch Isak’s scalp, who seemed to be enjoying it. Isak shifted a bit and snuggled further against Even’s legs. “But you can’t help but feel like it’s going to fall apart? Because it always has, fallen apart I mean. Things get really good, then really bad, then good again. I guess I’m just … waiting for things to get bad again.”
“Mm,” Isak replied, his voice muffled against the fabric of Even’s sweatpants. “I know the feeling. But everything balances out. Eventually.”
“Yeah,” Even mumbled. “The fall’s still hard though.”
“Yeah.”
They fell into silence as Even properly mulled over Isak’s words. Life was all up and down, but there was a return to normalcy in between each rise and dip.
“Why are you so smart?” Even whispered. Isak shrugged noncommittally, mumbling something against Even’s legs. Even removed his hand from Isak’s head, earning a whine and a nudge. Even chuckled quietly and put his hand back, running it through Isak’s hair and scratching his scalp. Isak let out a long sigh, relaxing against Even, which is when Even realised that Isak was half asleep.
Not stopping the scratching, Even held Isak’s head up as gently as he could with his other hand and slid down behind him, pulling Isak closer and laying Isak’s head back down on Even’s bicep. Isak turned to face away from Even, holding Even’s hand and tracing his fingers delicately on Even’s palm and wrist. Even snaked his other arm around Isak’s waist and held him close, shutting his eyes with his mind blissfully blank. It didn’t take long for the two of them to fall asleep.
Even woke to sunlight streaming into the room and voices coming from a little bit away. At some point in his sleep, Isak had turned to face Even again and draped a leg across Even’s hips, one hand on Even’s shoulder and the other resting between them. Even smiled at Isak’s sleeping face, lifting a hand to hold Isak’s neck and trace a finger across his jaw.
He heard a familiar laugh and lifted his head to see Eskild and Noora in the kitchen. Eskild was clearly the one who had openly laughed, but Noora was also smiling into her mug.
“Good morning,” Even called softly, not wanting to wake Isak up. The other two greeted him back, then he asked what the time was.
“Almost noon,” Noora replied, which explained why both she and Eskild were fully dressed.
“Care to explain why you boys are out here?” Eskild asked.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Even shrugged. “Came out here.”
Eskild sighed. “Whatever,” he said dramatically. “Just stop rubbing your coupley-ness in our poor single faces.”
Even grinned at him, placing a small kiss on Isak’s forehead. Isak’s eyes scrunched up before squinting open.
“Wha’s goin’ on?” he slurred, voice thick with sleep.
“I’m rubbing our coupley-ness in their poor single faces,” Even stated, nodding his head towards Noora and Eskild who were both rolling their eyes fondly at him.
Isak looked over his shoulder at his roommates, who both waved at him a bit sarcastically, then rolled back towards Even and shoved his face into Even’s neck. “Whatever,” he mumbled, his breath hot on Even’s skin. “I’m going back to sleep. Wake me up never.”
“Okay love,” Even smiled, cradling Isak’s head with his hand, scratching the nape of his neck. Noora rolled her eyes again before heading down the hall, and Eskild was scrunching his nose up in fake disgust. Even smiled at him again, then closed his eyes and listened to Isak’s breathing.