Chapter Text
Steve shifted in his seat again, for what had to be the tenth or eleventh time in the past minute. From the way that Bucky was less than subtly eyeing him, he knew that his friend hadn’t missed his antsiness. But, thankfully he chose to actually hold his tongue for once, not saying anything.
Steve wanted to like it here. Wanted to feel at home. Wanted to feel the sense of community and belonging that he knew he should. But, all the other doms there were so big. Large men with bulging muscles and broad chests. Guys who looked like Bucky.
Glancing self-consciously down at himself, Steve knew he more closely resembled the twinks sprawled comfortably across their doms’ laps or leaning against their legs while they knelt. To be clear, nothing wrong with that. Steve wasn’t judging. It wasn't that. It was just … why would anyone want a dom that looked like him. Especially when they were surrounded by all these tall handsome men that Steve couldn’t help blushing at.
And, the realization that his cheeks were uncomfortably warm just made him even more self-conscious, wanting to turn his face and hide. He hated his pale skin sometimes, so pale that he still looked like the constantly sick child he had once been in the wrong light.
“Why did I let you talk me into coming here?” He asked Bucky, annoyance and snark and shame mixing in his tone in a way that only his best friend could actually understand.
Bucky looked directly at him, meeting his eyes and clapping a large warm hand onto his shoulder. “We can leave if you like, you know that.” He reminded Steve. “But, I think it might be worth giving it a chance.”
He held Steve’s gaze, waiting for a response.
And, when Steve finally gave a resigned nod, Bucky didn’t even need to look at it. The spark of cautious hope in Steve’s eyes beforehand was answer enough.
Steve had been his best friend since they were five years old. And, he was one of the best men Bucky had ever known. Strong and caring and painfully earnest. He was also completely unaware of all the best parts of himself. And, Bucky knew that was something that would take more than just time and a never-ending stream of pestering love on his part to fix.
But, he kept hoping for Steve to begin to recognize some of his own value. And, he’d hoped that actually getting the boy out to meet other people like him might help.
But, for all this place was billed as one of the best queer kink clubs in this half of the country, the patrons all seemed to be pretty uniformly white gay guys. And, approximately none of them appeared to be trans or disabled, not that you could always tell those things by looking at someone. Bucky knew that perfectly well.
He didn’t blame Steve for being uncomfortable. Not that he ever would blame anyone for something like that. But, yeah, he wasn’t the most at home here either. Somehow he guessed that a lot of the people here wouldn’t think that being ace and aro was really queer enough. And, if that didn't tell you something about the vibe of the place, then Bucky didn’t know what would.
“How about we get some drinks and mingle a bit?” He suggested finally, in the slightly forced tone he used whenever he wanted to seem like he’s more into an idea than he actually was.
Of course, Steve could see right through him. He always could. But, he forced a small smile himself and nodded in agreement.
“Sure.” Steve said simply, placing an arm casually around Bucky’s shoulders and squeezing once.
Bucky knew that Steve could read his own discomfort plainly. He was usually a good actor. Years of social skills training and therapy meant that he could carefully portray whatever he chose to, altering his tone and body language at will to hide how he really felt.
But, Steve knew him better than that. Whenever it was just the two of them, Bucky didn’t even bother with feigning body language at all. Thankful that Steve had never been uncomfortable with Bucky’s lack of much in the way of facial expressions and whatever other nonsense supposedly comes naturally to allistic people.
There’s more than one reason that they’ve been such good friends for so long.
They walked arm in arm to the bar. Bucky a solid head and then some taller than Steve, but they’ve long since learned the knack of how to fit themselves comfortably together. Platonic physical touch was important to both of them.
Steve ordered both of their drinks, happy to have something structured to do and well aware that this form of interaction would just make Bucky anxious.
It was a busy night and none of the patrons were taking much care about whether or not they brushed up against one another as they moved through the crowd. Placing hands on hips and shoulders in the polite casual way that tends to occur in spaces that are filled with queer folks and queer folks alone.
It made Steve smile, and he felt a small glimmer of community after all. He might not feel entirely at home here, but these were still his people. Far more so than the crowd in any bar they chose at random would ever be.
None the less, he pulled Bucky back a bit, away from the worst of the throng of strangers around the bar. Aware that it was all a bit much for his friend without even needing to consciously think about it.
They both cared for one another in ways developed over years of existing together, the intimacy only growing as they navigate through new things as a pair. He trusted Bucky more than anyone else in the world.
Their drinks were finally ready, so he retrieved both of them. Passing Bucky his ginger beer with lime before taking a sip of his own gin and tonic. Planning on making a quick retreat back to their table.
But, before he could, one of the large men in the club who’d left him feeling so intimidated earlier, who still made him a bit uncomfortable if he was being honest, sidled up to him. The man eyed him up and down in a way that made Steve squirm.
“What are you drinking, baby?” He asked, and the unwanted term of endearment immediately turned Steve’s stomach.
“I’m not interested.” He got out, gritting his teeth and trying to push past the man, but he didn’t let Steve through.
Bucky had gotten a bit ahead of him earlier, rushing back to the relative safety of their corner booth, where he could avoid some of the chaos of the club. For the moment, Steve was alone in this.
“I’m not interested.” He repeated, louder and more forcefully. And, in a moment Bucky was there. Together they pushed past the guy, moving away quickly.
“I could have handled it.” Steve couldn’t help but protest, for all that he appreciated Bucky’s help. He’d felt safer the moment he was there. Yet, it stung to think he might not have been able to take care of himself.
“You shouldn’t need to.” Bucky returned quietly. And, Steve couldn’t argue with that. He shouldn’t need to. The guy should have listened to him when he said no the first time. He also shouldn’t have been that “friendly” with Steve without any expression of interest in the first place.
Steve would be the first person to rush in trying to help if the creep had pulled it on anyone else. So, he couldn’t really be upset with Bucky for having done the same for him.
“Thanks.” He mumbled, blushing again, before shaking it off. “Let’s just sit down and finish our drinks.”
They didn’t actually get that far though. Some time while they talked, another man had slid up behind them. Far enough back not to have been eavesdropping, but plainly in their path.
He smiled at Steve meeting his eyes. And, wow, Steve’s blush deepened with a vengeance.
The man in front of them was gorgeous. Not as tall as the jerk from before, actually not terribly taller than Steve himself. And, not as broad. But, he was lithe and strong looking, clad in a well fitted suit that stood out against the leather and mesh that was more common throughout the club.
Not that he or Bucky had really dressed up for this at all. They were both in simple jeans and t-shirts, though Steve did put on a bit of eyeliner before they left.
Studying the stranger’s face, Steve only found himself more attracted. He had lovely brown eyes, full of character, and dark hair sticking up in a manner that was far too artfully mussed to be unintentional.
When his grin widened, accompanying a slight waggle of his eyebrows, Steve glanced away quickly, realizing that he’d been staring.
“Sorry.” He mumbled awkwardly. “I shouldn’t have…”
The other man cut him off. “Like what you see?” He asked, shifting in a way that Steve could only call striking a pose, subtle though it was.
“Umm.” He started, still feeling that he owed a better apology than he’d managed to give. A gorgeous man comes up to him and the first thing he does is ogle him without so much as a word of hello.
“I really shouldn’t have stared at you like that. I’m sorry.” He repeated earnestly, meeting the other man’s eyes.
The man sighed, seeming … not annoyed, more just disappointed. And, maybe also a bit confused, but Steve was probably reading that wrong.
“Listen, it’s really not a problem.” The guy insisted, a bit frantically, as if he was pleading with Steve to agree with him. Somehow he still sounded smooth and polished. And, Steve really wasn’t quite certain how to read him.
“All right. If you say so. I am still sorry though.” He replied finally, aware that a bit of his confusion had snuck into his voice.
The other man obviously noticed it, blinking a bit in surprise himself. And, Steve sighed internally. He knew that he was way too easy to read. He had always worn pretty much every feeling he had out in the open for everyone to see.
Bucky joked sometimes that that’s why they fit so well together. He had none of the non-verbal communication and Steve had all of it.
At that thought he looked to the side, almost embarrassed that he’d forgotten about Bucky for so long. When he didn’t see him there he looked about a bit more frantically, wondering where his friend had gotten to. It hadn’t been that long had it? Bucky didn’t really like clubs like this. And, the jerk from earlier was probably still in here somewhere.
“Your friend went and sat back down.” The stranger’s voice pulled him back out of his anxious thought spiral. When he looked where the other man was nodding, sure enough he saw Bucky settled comfortably in their booth. The smile and thumbs up he gave him were enough to calm Steve the rest of the way.
Steve knew that he worried too much. A mix of his anxiety and a naturally protective nature. But, the strange man seemed unperturbed, simply waiting and watching.
“You never answered my question.” He drawled once Steve’s attention was back on him. And, for a moment, Steve was confused, thinking he’d missed something. Then, he remembered. The man had asked if he liked what he saw.
“Umm. Yes. You’re lovely. I mean, very handsome.” He stammered, far too awkward all at once. Steve would never be smooth, not like this man, but usually he wasn’t this horribly graceless.
None the less, the man was smiling now. A small smirk, that somehow suited him. He bent his head a bit and looked up at Steve through his eyelashes. An impressive feat given that he was easily a couple inches taller than him.
“You can call me lovely.” He said, taking his time on the words. “I don’t mind.”
And, it was clear he didn’t. In fact, if Steve was reading him correctly, he seemed quite fond of it. And, not just in the flirty way he was displaying now, but a genuine happiness too.
“You’re rather handsome yourself.” The man continued, seeming to mean it. Steve’s blush rose up on his cheeks again at the compliment. He didn’t normally think of himself as handsome. It was hard to. There was so much about his body that he didn’t like.
“In fact, I’d be asking to buy you a drink if you hadn’t just acquired one on your own.” The man finished, and Steve realized belatedly that he’d gotten distracted while he was talking.
As the words sunk in, so did disappointment. “That’s kind, but I’m not a sub.” He managed to get out without stumbling over any of it, keeping his tone carefully neutral.
He expected the man to shrug and walk away. He might be disbelieving, but Steve didn’t think so. Obviously, they didn’t really know each other, but he seemed like a decent enough person. It wasn’t his fault that he’d assumed Steve was a sub. Most people would. His size alone was enough. And, his awkwardness. Well, people didn’t necessarily imagine him to be a dom.
But, the man didn’t look disappointed. He looked … bemused. For a moment Steve tensed for the argument he’d hoped to avoid. After all, that confusion could only mean that the man didn’t believe him.
“I didn’t think you were.” The man said finally, leaving Steve the confused one this time. “You do know that subs can buy doms drinks too.” He continued, letting a bit of annoyance slip into his voice.
And, it was absolutely justified annoyance. As soon as Steve realized his error, he was disgusted with himself. He’d been so convinced that the other man was making assumptions about him, he completely missed that he’d actually been the one doing it.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized, for the second time that night. Just as painfully earnest as the first. “I should know better. Of course…”
The man cut him off. “Are you planning on spending the whole night apologizing?” He asked frankly.
“Well, I keep putting my foot in my mouth.” Steve shrugged, before the realization that the stranger seemed to be implying that they spend more time together caught up with him.
“It really doesn’t matter.” The man insisted, also not the first time that evening. “You at least don’t mean to, and that’s better than most.” He continued, and Steve held back a slight grimace at what a low bar that was. He found himself already annoyed with the other people this strange lovely man had apparently spent his time with.
“I wouldn’t mind drinking this with you.” He managed, holding up his gin and tonic, by now slightly more watery than it had started. He was almost surprised at how smooth the suggestion sounded.
“That would be lovely.” The man agreed, gorgeous smile splitting across his face again. A moment later he’d acquired his own drink, just a beer, and Steve belatedly thought that maybe he should have offered to pay.
The man was already making his way back through the bar though. Weaving easily through the crowds of people who Steve and Bucky had needed to push through before. Steve followed in his wake.
“Would you like to sit with your friend or find our own table?” The man offered, turning around. He sounded completely neutral, and Steve blinked back surprise at the implication that he didn’t mind the thought of someone else joining them. But, looking over at the booth he saw that Bucky looked perfectly content, messaging someone, probably Sam, from his phone.
“We can get our own table.” He replied, smiling to show that he appreciated the question.
And, the way the man, Steve realized that he still didn’t know his name, didn’t actually know his gender or pronouns either come to think of it, lit up in response to that was … well adorable was really the best word. There was something in his eyes that was so painfully sweet it made Steve want to kiss him.
Instead, he followed him to a mercifully quiet table, tucked into one of the back corners. Steve pulled out a chair for the man, the gesture instinctual. His mama had always placed an emphasis on manners, and somehow it felt right to pull out such old-fashioned courtesies here.
Not that he thought that the man couldn’t pull out his own chair or anything like that. Luckily, he didn’t seem offended. Rather, there was a faint hint of pink on his cheeks that Steve would have sworn hadn’t been there before. Though his tanned skin hid it in a way that Steve’s own pale visage never would.
“You still haven’t told me your name.” He commented, realizing belatedly that his tone had been one more of observation than inquiry.
None the less, the stranger smiled, stretched a hand across the table, and said “Tony.”
Tony. It suited him, Steve decided. A smooth classy name.
“I’m Steve.” He introduced, wishing, not for the first time, that he hadn’t picked such a boring name for himself.
Tony grinned. “I like it.” He said. ‘Old-fashioned name to go with your old-fashioned manners.” He flirted, eyes sparkling.
Steve blushed for what felt like the countless time that night. That certainly wasn’t how most folks reacted to his name. “Thank you.” He said simply, proud of himself for getting it out without tripping over the words.
“I like your name too. It suits you.”
Steve didn’t remember everything they discussed.
They’d chatted about their jobs (an artist/barista and an engineer respectively), where they grew up (Brooklyn and Manhattan; Steve got the impression Tony was from old money), and where they went to university (nowhere and MIT; Tony had ducked his head and apologized for assuming, Steve had been impressed.) Yet, somehow it had never been dull. Even as they meandered their way through what could have easily been boring small talk, the conversation was kept alive by random jokes, short anecdotes, and the odd flirty comment.
By the end of the evening the club was beginning to settle down and Bucky had swung by to let them know he was headed out, meeting Steve’s eyes with a meaningful look that Steve knew was to confirm he was all right. He’d only given it a moment thought before nodding almost imperceptibly.
He felt safe with Tony. Not that he wouldn’t use due caution. He’d only met the man that night. And, he appreciated Bucky’s concern. But, this evening was going better than he’d ever imagined it might.
Once Bucky left they slipped into more intimate conversation. Moving away from small talk and into topics that they could talk about all night and still have more to share. Not that Steve bared everything. And, it felt like Tony wasn’t sharing completely freely either. There were times he caught himself before saying something, smoothly redirecting the conversation but not before Steve missed the transition.
He didn’t mind, though. It was both their right. And, they’d only met tonight. As much as it felt almost as if they’d known one another for much longer than that.
On one level they fit comfortably together. He felt safe and content talking to Tony, completely at ease. On another level, he was giddy with excitement. Not quite able to believe that this beautiful, smart, witty man was here talking and flirting with him.
Finally, it was far too late and Steve was forced to accept that he really did need to head home and get a few hours of sleep before work tomorrow. He had the opening shift, a reality that left him already exhausted and miserable as soon as he remembered.
Normally, he didn’t mind opening. He’d always been an early riser. But, it was 2 am already, and it would be another hour on the train before he got home.
“I’m sorry.” He opened as soon as their conversation came to a natural pause,continuing quickly when he noticed Tony’s expression rapidly become worried and downfallen. “I’ve loved talking to you.” He promised, meaning every word of it. But, the other man still looked like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “I just need to get home. It’s late.”
And, with that Tony’s expression cleared somewhat, still he looked … maybe resigned was the best word for it. “Of course.” He agreed swiftly, his tone betraying no hint of whatever it was that hid behind his eyes.
“It was good talking to you too.” And, that was it. He didn’t say anything more. Didn’t give any indication that he hoped to see Steve again. That they might trade numbers. Or, perhaps even go on a date.
And, that was almost enough to discourage Steve. He never had been good at initiating things. Too insecure for his own good. Even he knew that.
But, as he met Tony’s eyes one last time and saw the mix of emotions he couldn’t quite read hiding behind them, he decided to try anyways.
“May I give you my number?” He asked, careful. This gave Tony all the control. Even if he felt like he couldn’t say no in the moment, it was up to him whether or not to text.
Steve needn’t have worried though. Whatever it was that Tony was struggling with seemed to sweep away, his eyes lighting up. “Of course.” He agreed readily, unlocking his phone and passing it over.
It took Steve a moment too long to figure out. He’d never been all that good at technology. And, Tony’s phone was new and fancy. Completely different from the beat up flip phone with the slightly cracked screen that Steve still carried.
He only had a few seconds to spend looking at it in confusion though, before Tony was pressed behind him, looking over his shoulder. With a few deft swipes of his fingers, it was time for Steve to enter his number. He did so, providing Tony with his first and last name as well.
Then, before he could save the number and give it back, Tony plucked the phone out of his hands, holding it out in front of them.
“May I?” He asked, and it took Steve a moment to realize that the front camera was pulled up. He nodded his assent and Tony wrapped one arm around him before taking a picture of them both, showing it to Steve before saving the contact to his phone.
It wasn’t a great photo, a bit blurry and badly lit, with random folks in the background. Still, they both had wide smiles and Tony’s arms had fit well around his shoulders. Steve liked that Tony had bothered.
“Well then, have a good night. It was wonderful meeting you.” He said earnestly, if a bit awkwardly. He didn’t actually quite know how he was supposed to do this. He’d never met someone he liked so quickly before.
Tony paused for a long moment, seeming to consider something before shaking it away. “Have a good night. Get home safe.” He said simply.
But, Steve was barely out the door by the time his phone buzzed to indicate a text. He checked it absentmindedly, half expecting it to be from Bucky wondering where he was.
I really enjoyed meeting you too :)
It was from an unknown number, but it was only a moment before Steve had Tony added to his contacts.
Have a good night.
He sent back, not trusting himself to say anything else. None the less, he found himself already eager to see where this went.