Chapter Text
There was nothing wrong with Toudou, excluding the fact that he occasionally just couldn't, well-- sit still. In the long run, he'd make these jerky motions out of excitement, an anxious habit, but the idea of sitting still and quiet was enough to drive the climber insane. And in perfect example, as he sat in the foggy heat and unseen thickness of the summer air, his legs would not stop bouncing off the pavement. Even besides his continuous jittering, it was plain to see he was unusually enraptured with other things. His eyes were widened with sheer nerves, his phone clutched in his palm despite the fingerprints he left over the dark screen. Every few minutes, he'd stop to fan himself with his hand-- this being an almost futile effort, it was just that he hadn't realized it could get this hot. Heat didn't phase him. The sweat didn't phase him. Surprisingly, his inability to stand still didn't phase him. His mind was racing with only one thought.
Makishima was coming to visit from England. Not only visit-- not for a day, or a week, no. Makishima was coming in for the whole summer. The entire summer! He hadn't seen him in almost a year now, and the whole concept of being able to talk, ride, and even just see each other again, Toudou was beyond thrilled.
He had kept in touch with his rival, sure, but this was so much different. Text messages and the occasional skype call were fun, it wasn't any different speaking that way. But Toudou couldn't deny how much he missed having his company. He had been absolutely glued to his phone since the second day of summer, when he got a text from Makishima about how he had wanted to come in. The immediate response was asking where he'd be staying, and when he'd be here, but Makishima bluntly noted he lacked a place to stay. Toudou had never been more eager to invite someone to his home in his entire life.
It really wasn't out of the question for the other boy to stay, as it was an inn after all. Toudou easily spoke to his parents the very next day about a friend staying, and as expected they had no complaints. He promptly sent a text to Makishima that he was welcome to stay with him, and his parents were even fine with him choosing his own room. (Makishima of course, sarcastically replied with: "Oh, how lucky of me." Toudou brushed it off and answered back in seconds. "You're so cold, Maki-Chan. Ruthless!") Once the living situation was sorted, it seemed no matter how many times they talked about it in those few weeks before his arrival, it always seemed like Toudou had something to eagerly ask about. And because of this, almost every conversation went as such:
"Did you remember your suntan lotion?" "Yes." "Your clothes?" "Yes." "Your passport?" "Yes."
But with every reply, (even if it was the usual "yes.",) Toudou couldn't help but feel a familiar happiness that came with taking care of Makishima, and doting on him. He'd find himself sitting at two in the morning, (Six in the evening, for Makishima) with a huge smile plastered on his face, his features lit up by the blue tint of his mobile device. He could feel his chest tighten and his stomach flutter at the most apathetic little things, his heart coiling when they spoke about meeting at his doorstep-- but of course, that was how friendship felt, right?
..Right?
"Oi, Toudou," His back snapped into place, upright at the sound of a familiar voice-- grinning so quick he could feel his cheeks sting. But unfortunately, he did not see the person whom he hoped the voice would match. Instead he found his sister standing in front of him, her eyebrows raised. "Are you going to let me through?" She asked with an questioning smile, as Toudou shot up from his spot on the stairs, which as he had now realized, thanks to his sister's complaints-- was blocking the entrance to the front door.
"Sorry about that." He chuckled lightly as she walked past. His hands fiddling with the antenna of his phone. "I was dozing off, I think," He lied through his teeth. He wasn't about to tell her he had been sitting there lost in thoughts of his best friend for an hour-- she might tell Makishima and he had a totally-cool reputation to keep up!
"Hey isn't your friend running a little late? Mom's almost done making dinner and you're going to miss it if you sit out here waiting for him all night." She scratched the back of her neck, with the same curious expression she had moments before.
Had he lost track of time? He hadn't even noticed Makishima was late. He glanced to the screen of his phone quickly, eyes grazing over the time. Half past five. He was running a bit late-- only by about five or ten minutes. He tapped his chin and flipped his phone back down again. He shook his head, laughing.
"No that's fine! I'm sure he'll be here before then." Did she really think he'd skip dinner just to wait for Makishima? His cheeks burned at this, but he immediately shoved on a prideful smile to cover it up.
"Okay, just checking." She shot back a genuine smile to match his, prying the door open and walking inside. He watched her go, and then he sat back down again. He could still feel his cheeks tinted with embarrassment, putting his head in his hands and his phone on the step next to him. Why was it such a big deal that he wanted to see his friend? He shuffled his feet a bit and glanced out at the road, lips pursed in a pout. He sat for only a moment-- until the tinny sound of his phone vibrating on the stone steps went off, and he snatched it up before it could finish ringing. He flicked his wrist and it flipped open, moving the little arrow pad on his phone until he reached inbox, when a small pop-up rose on his screen.
[Four new messages! Arakita (2), Manami (1), Maki (1)]
He almost didn't even bother with the other messages-- and clicked Makishima's text-thread, eagerly awaiting his message.
[New Message: 5:39pm ] [From: Maki]
[Subject: n/a]
I seem to be running a bit late, sorry. The plane over had a fifteen minute delay, or so. I'm on the bus now. About five minutes? xx
He let a sigh of relief out. Thank god! Makishima could of been hurt or lost-- but it was okay. Just his flight. (He found himself shaking his head at his own concern. It was like being in school again!) He began typing, his old phone creating a symphony of clicks each time he pressed a key.
[New Message: 5:41 ] [To: Maki]
[Subject: LAME]
omg!! maks youre literally rediculous i swear!! ive been sitting here for like an hour now (/^ ▽ ^)/ go go maki chan hurry up hurry up !!!
He put his phone down, and sat on the edge of the step. His hand fiddled with his tank top for a moment, until he found himself clutching the fabric that covered the center of his chest, his heart racing in his ribcage.
Now, he wasn't moving. He wasn't moving at all. He was much, much too excited. He sat for four minutes exactly, continuously glancing down the long pathway up, no sign of anyone. He could never recall feeling more anxious for something. What if Makishima was totally different? What if he was taller! What if he dyed his hair and learned how to dress?
Five minutes rolled around, then six, seven-- and finally he heard the sound of a motor, the bus showing up in the corner of his vision. He shot up, eyes darting from the bus to the bus stop. It felt like hours before the bus rolled up, coming to a halt at the stop, the bus blocking the sign from his vision. His phone now laid aimlessly in the grass because of his recklessness when he stood, but he didn't seem to even notice. The bus began to drive away, and he stared until the stop was in vision again. And as expected, there Makishima stood, too bags next to him, his eyes looking to his phone.
"He looks terrible." Despite previous fears, he hadn't learned how to dress. Oh god, plaid on stripes-- he did not learn how to dress at all. Toudou felt his lips part with a laugh that came from his gut that made his face light up with a pearly smile. He didn't even mean to speak outloud, but now he was laughing too much to stop. Apparently, this grabbed Makishima's attention even from across the street, and he glanced up.
"Jinpachi?" He spoke loud enough for Toudou to hear, grabbing the handle of one of his bags. Toudou however, was too busy making his way off the doorstep to even notice him speaking. He stumbled a little over the rocks at the end of the stairs, bending down and grabbing his shoes. He started walking down, hopping on one foot to slide one shoe on, and then vise versa with the other.
"You look horrible!" He shouted, starting to jog at this point following the pathway to the street. "I can't believe you wore that outfit the whole plane ride! And bus ride!" This made Makishima give the infamous smirk that saved him from having to smile.
"Pardon me?" He yelled back curiously, his eyes half lidded with an amused expression. He went to slide his phone back in his pocket but before he could, he caught Toudou out of the corner of his eye, running at him. Toudou shot across the street and practically slammed right into him, his arms wrapping around Makishima's torso, and shoving his arms together as well.
This almost made Makishima fall over, but fortunately for them both he only stumbled, and wiggled his arms out of the tight embrace. For a moment he hesitated, Toudou noted, but then he brushed the hair from his own face and patted the other's head lightly, moving his headband out of place.
"Hello, Jinpachi." When Toudou lifted his face he was met with the taller boy's expression which could only be described as a mix between sighing and smiling-- but that was always how he looked when he was happy.
"Maki-Chan, you're so late I shouldn't even let you in!" Toudou's voice was loud as usual-- but Makishima simply made a motion for him to tone is voice down, putting one finger up and giving an exasperated glance. Toudou nodded in understanding, reluctantly let go, his hands balled up and chest welling with emotions he would sort out later. He wished he could of hugged Makishima forever.
"You wouldn't dare." Makishima replied playfully-- a dryness to his voice. Toudou laughed at this. There was nothing that was funny, but he found himself positively beaming at the sound of his friend's sarcasm. "Help me grab these bags, and then we can discuss if you're letting me in or not." He glanced over at Toudou from the corner of his eye, wry grin on his face. Toudou mumbled something about that making no sense, since he'd just have to carry his bags back anyway, when he kicked him out. Makishima was silent but gave very obvious roll of his eyes.
They were quiet until they got to the house, but that's okay. Toudou knew he was happy. He knew Makishima was happy. He found himself looking over as they walked up the path at his former rival's smile. Something in him when he saw Makishima's smile made him feel like smiling back or cracking jokes, but this time, something in him wanted to reach out and touch Makishima's face. He didn't though, that'd be ridiculous. Because of that, something in him made him feel like crying.
--
"You'll stay in my room with me, okay?" Toudou was rambling as they entered the house, glancing back at Makishima who was struggling to pull his bag through the door. "It's like, the nicest room in the house. Really. I've even got a television in there, now-" He found himself with his chest rising and arms folding pridefully, but his friend was, of course, more focused on the door. Toudou didn't feel the need to help.
"I thought--" Makishima started, the bag finally popping up onto the floor, and making a loud "thunk" along with it. "--I got to pick my room?" Toudou laughed his usual, boisterous laugh, filling up the wooden halls. Even though the other seemed slightly amused he came off a bit cold-- so he halted his long laugh short, covering it up with a shy cough.
"I-I just, thought I'd pick it for you." He knew it was a bit selfish that he wanted to spend the whole summer with Makishima, but it was only fair! He couldn't help but want to spend as much time as he could, and although he didn't want to think of it so early in the visit, he knew this may be the last time he saw his friend in a long time. With long distance, it was always hit or miss with visits-- or so he had been told. It was only luck that he had been free for the summer- Toudou supposed. His gaze drooped to the bag, and then rose to the stairs.
"So, how are we going to do this?"
"Hm?" Toudou glanced back to Makishima, who looked like he had never dreaded anything more in his life then the sight of the stairs. "Oh uh-- We could try and wheel them up stair by stair, or carry them. They're kind of uh... heavy, though." (Translation, how many clothes does one man need?)
Makishima paused for a moment and sighed, sliding the handle into the compartment on the top of the suitcase. He lifted it by the smaller cloth handle, which did not move like the first, and tried to lift it with both arms. It moved about an inch, only for him to drop it again, as if it was a useless attempt.
"Eehh, I think we'll need to carry them together." He rose upright, pushing his hair from his eyes. "So we'll have to carry one up and then come get the other, but wheeling them down the hall won't be a problem, right?"
"Right." he agreed in a peppy tone, bending to grab the end of the suitcase and waiting until Makishima grabbed his end of the suitcase. Makishima mumbled something about going backwards, and took a moment to turn and start walking up the stairs carefully, back facing the top. Toudou held his end tight, taking one step, and then waiting for Makishima. One step, wait. One step, wait.
(He noted to himself that Makishima's hair had gotten longer, his bangs were falling back into his eyes with every step up. The sides of his hair curled around his cheekbones and the tips sat under his eyes, while the center parting of his hair kept sliding off the middle of his forehead and nose, and slanting off into his left eye. He had to keep blowing it from his face, which generally, Toudou thought, was cute. He tried not to smile as they went up the stairs.)
"One done. Another to go." Toudou reassured his colleague and chuckled, which earned a pained grimace from Makishima. "Oh, don't look at me like that! You'll give me nightmares!"
"Charming, really." He replied unnerved, giving a slanted smirk as he started down the stairs again.
They set themselves up again, him taking the back, Makishima taking the front, and the one-two shimmy they had done the first time. (And once again Toudou found himselfgazing up as the curls and waves in Makishima's hair found their way into his eyes and next to his lips, and curving with the rise of his neck and the edge of his chin-)
"Jinpachi, you're slacking here."
Toudou stopped focusing on his face, and started focusing on his expression--which was struggling to hold the weight of his suitcase alone. He must of looked dazed, his legs stiff as cardboard, unmoving. Which wasn't helping the get-up-the-stairs motive, as expected.
"Ah! Sorry-- I-I forgot! Ha-ha, sorry Maki-Chan!" He braced his elbows again, taking the last few steps up the stairs. They dropped the suitcase almost immediately, crashing next to the first one. "Do you have like, bricks in there?!" Toudou glanced curiously to Makishima who seemed almost bored with the question. He brought a hand up to his own face and brushed it over his chin once or twice, letting out a "Hm."
"No, no. Clothes. Laptop. Beauty products--" He listed off, leaning on the edge of the hall next to the stairs, counting it out on his fingers, in a trivial matter. He paused only for a moment to take a breath. He pushed his hand up and pulled his bangs from his face completely, his cheeks tinted with the effects of doing work (like suitcase moving) in the summer heat.
Toudou heard himself speaking before he could think. He did so frequently, it felt like he was a running faucet who-- well, just kept running. Perhaps a leaky pipe that let things slip out that he really, really shouldn't.
"Your hair is so long, now. Is it bothering you? You need to take care of things like this, Maki-Chan. You need to get a haircut." His hands reached before him and grabbed one of the ends that hung off his shoulder, going almost completely still out of fear of his own impulsive actions. Why did he do that? Why the hell did he do that? His mind went like complete Jell-O in seconds, his eyes wavering over his own hands.
His hair was soft, and he could feel the natural curls between his fingers. He must of showered before he got on the plain, he could smell mint, assuming it was the shampoo. His chest tightened, he didn't make a single change in expression to signal anything he was thinking. He wanted to move his hand up and slide it into the hair behind Makishima's neck, to feel the texture and grab down- he wanted to see what his Maki-Chan had changed, maybe new shampoo, maybe new cologne, the things he couldn't ask about-- the things you have to get close to notice.
There was a long pause, before Makishima looked to Toudou and raised an eyebrow. Was he shaking? Was his hand shaking? He hadn't noticed. His cheeks felt like they were blistering, red at the Peak Spider's glance-- but it was sunburn. He must of got sunburn!
"....Hm." Makishima reached over and for a moment, he put his fingertips to pinch over Toudou's, whom didn't budge until the other pulled his hair from their original grasp, bringing it up to the light. He squinted at the tip, letting the light filter in the little parts and splits.
"You're right." He spoke soft, his back still angled against the wall. "Would you cut my hair for me, Jinpachi?" He glanced back to Toudou again. His face was much more relaxed now, teasing otherwise. He be let his hair drop back to where it lay, curving down with the arch of his shoulder. "Tonight or tomorr-"
"T-Tonight is fine!" He spoke over Makishima, his face regaining its natural tanned color once again. He seemed caught off guard by being cut off, but he nodded to Toudou gently to agree. "I can do it after we pack! As long as you don't fall asleep or somethin', you know, jetlag. Are you jetlagged--?"
"One task at a time." He gave an amused chuckle. "I forgot how talkative you were, I suppose." He added in, his voice trailing off. He grabbed the plastic handle of the bag and slid it out, pulling the suitcase down the hall a few inches before stopping. "Now show me where that room is." He froze, watching Makishima move up farther in the hall. Talkative? Was that a good thing?
Toudou grabbed the other suitcase, rolling after him, trailing like a lost puppy. He eventually pulled in front of Makishima, passing the doors and doors that lined the hall, squinting as they passed one or two windows, the sun filtering in and hitting his eyes. The floors looked like a dark cherry wood, giving the home a lonely feeling, however, Toudou himself thought it looked nice with the other interior. Since they used natural light in the hall, however, when nighttime came, it could be a bit trivial to maneuver through. He halted suddenly at one of the rooms, with a hung sign that read his name written in child's handwriting, obviously from when he was younger. It looked the same as the other rooms-- but the area where the room number would be was replaced with a sticker that seemed washed out-- ages old.
"Here we go," he mumbled to himself, unlocking the door and shuffling into the room. It was dim but there was one window, with shutters covering the orange light that covered the hall moments before. Toudou's bed was in the left corner, his closet and his laundry basket next to it. His desk sat next to his window, laptop still opened but the screen turned off. Next to the door there was a magnet board holding pictures of things from the past year, old pictures of Hakone's racing club, and some of his childhood pictures. It was neat, simple, organized, but uncharacteristically, on the small side. He walked in ahead of Makishima, placing the suitcase against the wall.
"We can bring in a mattress to set down next to my bed from one of the unused rooms-- But not right now. First we need to get you unpacked, you know?" Toudou was speaking loud but he was more trying to situate the plan, more talking to himself aloud then Makishima.
"Sounds like a plan." He answered as if the wind had been knocked out of him, quiet. Toudou thought nothing of it-- it reflected the atmosphere. Makishima paused only for a moment, only to walk over to the bed and sit down on it, the suitcase lazily standing in the middle between his bed and his wall. He took a moment before he spoke again, in a dazed expression. "Home sweet home, for a couple months, at least."
That's right, Toudou thought to himself, his eyes watering at the thin strips of light that were brushing his eyes from the shaded window. Your home is with me, Makishima.
--
They were sitting in the bathroom, Makishima sitting in a folding chair in front of the sink, his bangs brushed out into his eyes, so Toudou could take a good look at the actual length of his hair-- without it messed and brushed every which way. Toudou was bent at a right angle, staring at the line where his hair ended. He held up the shiny black comb, making a line to measure where each piece of his bangs ended.
Until had gotten this close, Toudou hadn't realized how.. disheveled Makishima looked. No surprise-- He didn't have anyone to watch over him in England like he did here! There were hints of bags under his eyes, grey fading into purple that arched from his tear duct to the corner of his eyelid. He must of been tired from the trip over but- he had little sores on his lips-- did Makishima bite his lips? He had never noticed before! He was pale, per usual of course, but he had hints of green at the corners of his skin- recently dyed his hair, most likely. It was curious, Toudou thought, at least. He'd surely have to make sure Makishima got his beauty rest, and some chapstick! He smiled to himself. ("What would he ever do without me?")
"How short do you want it?" He stood back for a moment to get a good look, pursing his lips in concentration to estimate the proper length he was going for, with Makishima's input of course.
"Out of my eyes? And for the bottom, uh-- just a trim. I like it long." He replied flatly, his hand reaching out and twisting a selection of hair together. Anxious habit, Toudou assumed. "Not too short, okay?" He spoke, which earned a peculiar glance from the other. Makishima is always hiding in that hair-- It's pretty, sure, but Toudou knew he liked to sink away into it when he was withdrawing, is that why he liked it so long? It wasn't his choice how short he cut it, he would never disobey Makishima. But maybe a hair tie would do some good.
"Okay. You don't have to worry, Maki-Chan! I'm really good with this stuff!" His eyes lit up, giving a short glance into the mirror. He had thought many times about how different they were-- Toudou liked his hair pulled back. It showed his best features! He didn't hide much, he smiled and left his hair out of his face. His rival however, seemed to draw back with every push forward! His hand absent mindedly lifted and tugged a stray hair from his band, his expression distant with thought.
"You're so vain. We're doing my hair, not yours." Ouch. Toudou sputtered, gritting his teeth. His eyes shot away from the mirror to the side, huffing angrily.
"V-Vain?!" His hand fell over his chest in defense, the other clutching the brush and scissors. "That's so mean, so cruel!" Makishima let out a snide laugh, his hair covering such judgmental expression.
"Relax, Jinpachi. Let's hurry this up." He rested back in the chair but his hair managed to stay more or less in place.
He grumbled to himself and pulled a clump of hair up from his face, sliding the silver over the hair and snipping little pieces off one by one. Snip. Snip. Snip. He got about halfway through cutting the mess that was his rival's hair-- when Toudou noticed the uncomfortable look on Makishima's face. His nose was scrunched up, squinting.
"I'm not going to cut it too short!" Toudou laughed at his expression, his eyes settling on a now flustered face which couldn't hide under the new cut he had just received. He brushed some strands of hair away, moving to the last part of his bangs.
"I'm not worried! You're just-- swinging those scissors around like you know what you're doing, it's making me very anxious." His voice wavered as Toudou gave one of the last cuts in, taking his hand and brushing it out, small snippets of hair visible on his cheeks from the direct light of the mirror.
"I'll turn you around when I'm done so you can see how amazing it looks." He murmured, too involved in his work to hear how quiet he was. Shocking, for his personality, but he didn't want to disappoint Makishima. He needed to focus. He needed to focus like he did in races- One track mind.
He combed through the long sides of his hair with his brush, leaning to the left side first. He lied the pieces out in his hand, brushing through them once more. He took his scissors and choppily cut the ends-- (Straight cuts would make him look bland.) He layered the edges and worked his way around his head to do the same, squeezing between the sink and his chair to get the back, and then squirming out of the tight space to do the right side. He could smell Makishima's distinct shampoo again, until his nose didn't even recognize the smell anymore. Once he had finished the right side, he stood back, eyeing his work. He had done pretty well, in an half hour give or take.
"Okay, now you can look." He gave a prideful grin, letting Makishima stand and glance at himself in the mirror. Toudou watched his expression as he used his hands to idly scoop up the ends of his hair and fiddle with them. He brushed his bangs around his forehead until they fell into their preferred spot, the corners of his lips twitching as if he wanted to smile. His eyes fell on the shorter, who stood next to him with such a brightened look.
He stifled a snicker.
"H-Hey?! What! I did a good job, right?!" He clenched his fists, his body stiffening with a sense of embarrassment. "Maki-Chan, there's no reason to be mean!" His avid reaction only earned more laughing, which only made Toudou flustered raw.
"I love it Jinpachi. Stop whining like that." For just a moment, Makishima turned, lips curled up into a toothy grin.
How ugly, Toudou lied. How ugly!
(He didn't forget to smile back.)
I love it, Jinpachi. That's what he said.
Toudou could swear to himself, he heard something different. Lacking one or two words.
--
The mattress was set up, and Toudou could hear it creaking next to him. Summer night, crickets sitting outside the window with their strange sounds filling the room. He could hear cicadas, too, chirping in their own- less pretty way.
(Toudou however, much preferred pretty sounds of the cricket. Pretty things, were easily preferred.) The moon shone over the single window, casting bars of light down on the floor. It was still hot, but not sweltering as before. The air was calm, not heavy and humid as such. Makishima had fallen fast asleep, too late for his unfortunately jetlagged system. And It was only eight! Toudou couldn't fall asleep. He tossed, he turned, head spinning with thoughts. And besides the occasional creak- the boy only feet away from him, slept fine. Frustrated, he eventually became still.
It was odd, having him back. His chest had untangled from all these silly thoughts when Makishima left. Sure, it took one or two months to do it-- but now, the swelling mass inside his ribs-- the ticking time bomb, had been set off once again. He couldn't bring himself to say it, but his mind implied it heavily over and over again. Makishima set him off. Makishima calmed the endless stream from his mouth, the constant noise in his head. (You didn't love him!) He couldn't understand why he still even liked to be around him! (You were only attached!) He had one the race, overcome his adolescence obsession with competition-- but for some reason, all of his jerseys were wrinkled over the location of his heart.
(Repeat this to yourself. You didn't love him. You were only attached. Continue until mind is scrubbed raw of unsure thoughts, and sore from your mental cleanse.)
People were always in front of him, or behind him. He sighed, folding is hands over the blanket, over his rising and settling chest. Except for you.
He glanced off the edge of his bed, looking down to Makishima lying outstretched on the frameless mattress. His lips went into a fine line, furrowing his brows. School was over. Why did he think of school so much? There was nothing left to think about. He won the race. He bested his rival, fair and square. His friends and him laughed and had an amazing time, but now that was all gone. That's okay. Remember?
("Things change, you know. I think that's good." Makishima's lips looked blue, cold. He wanted to push his mittens over his lips and cry, cry so hard he didn't leave. Keep him warm. He watched as his Rival's eyes sunk to the floor- shamefully. The fur of his jacket stood on end like it was alive, his scarf hanging dead on his shoulders. "I promise, we can stay in touch. Don't cry. You're being childish. Please, Jinpachi. I'm not good at these things.")
His hands clutched over his cheeks his eyes welling up with a watery filter. He felt the sting of tears. Things weren't okay, now that Makishima was back. No, they were just unsolved. Things weren't okay, and he was so confused, things may never be okay again.
If this was a competition, he was losing. He was losing, and everyone was ahead. But he stayed quiet when he rubbed his cheeks dry. Silent. That's what it was, sleeping. He was the Sleeping Beauty of Hakone, and he'd be damned if he didn't stay quiet and smile like the name implied.