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Jeongguk scrambled out of bed, hands tightly gripping onto his black pyjama shirt. Heavy breaths heaved in and out of his broken lungs as claws scratched throat - he had been screaming all night.
His unsteady footsteps resulted in his dry hands collapsing on the beaten walls of their apartment. Attempting to steady his raptured breathing, he finally arrived in the bathroom, breaking down in front of the mirror. He tore off his shirt, his dark eyes growing larger in width.
He felt sick.
On his creamy skin, there it was. A tattoo that was scratched into his skin. The sickening flower was beginning to bloom on the back of his continuously drying hand.
He threw up. The bile in his throat could no longer be kept at bay.
"Jimin-ah." His beaten voice called out, desperately cradling onto the edge of the toilet seat. He faintly heard the stamping of feet against the creaky floorboards , then, a loud gasp.
"Taehyung!" A loud shout was heard, while Jimin's hands gently rubbed his back - trying desperately to stabilize the relentless quivering of the younger.
"What's wrong ba-" More vomiting erupted from the back of Jeongguk's throat, cutting the man off.
Jimin's hands softly, almost fearfully wrapped around Jeongguk's drying hand. Another gasp could be heard, as Taehyung made his way over to Jeongguk, who was now propped up against the bathtub, shutting his eyelid firmly, heaving heavy breaths in and out of his lips, chanting to himself: 'this can't be happening, this can't be happening'.
Soulmates were a good thing. They brought you stability, love, freedom... the list could go on. But 30% of the time it led to catastrophes. If you couldn't find your soulmate in 21 days, or you got rejected - all while the beautiful flowers crept up towards your throat - it was simple. You would die.
The alarming rate of death concerned many people who found their soulmates, not really found, but came into contact with them somehow, especially if they had zero clue about who they were. You could never know - the person who your entire life is destined to be with, happened to just pass by, and you would never find each other again. Or, a better case scenario, yet still painful, the destined person may have been with someone else the entire time - and so, they may reject their own soulmate, as to not show disloyalty to the one they cared about for a longer time, accepting the painful death. They would rather die than give up who they actually longed for, than some random stranger who decided to just abruptly come into their lives without any realistic reason whatsoever.
And this is what made Jeongguk sick. He didn't know who he saw today, that could've been his soulmate. He may die. He was going to die. He was definitely going to die. He was dead meat within 21 days. 20 now to be precise.
Jeongguk goes to a big university - with a capacity of 10,000 students, so, realistically, there's a very, very small chance that he will find who was meant to be his.
His mind kept ticking with the events of the day. Where did he go to? Who did he talk to? What faces did he see? What classes did he attend? It couldn't be someone from there, as the flowers have bloomed beforehand already. Who was it? Who was it? Who was it?
He shakily got up the floor, supporting hands of both of his friends, who were ironically enough soulmates, and stood in front of the mirror.
There was an awfully beautiful flower stretched across his left forearm, color spreading steadily on the map of his arm. He wasn't into flowers, and didn't know much about them, but it looked gorgeous, contrasting his skin very well.
The awe was replaced with a tiny trembling of his lips. He was complaining about this the other day, which is oddly ironic, that he wasn't mentally prepared for this yet. Life fucks you over when you don't want it to, that was the lesson to be learnt here.
Sighing softly to himself, he turned around from the mirror, discovering his worried hyungs' gazes switching between his arm, and his face. He smiled gently, obviously putting up a facade, and left the bathroom.
D ay 2
Jeongguk tried his hardest to forget it, carrying on his day as if nothing happened that morning, running to and fro; from dance lectured to the library. He was worn out, but continued on, as usual.
But, forgetting something as major as this is worse than war - he was battling his death with someone who he didn't have a single clue about. It was winter, everyone was well covered up, coats, long sleeves, anything to hide from the biting cold - no one could see the wretched flowers tearing him apart.
He had to do dance practice, as a part of his course, and just something he generally loved doing. His deep brown eyes followed every movement of his limbs, cautiously searching and searching for any mistakes he made. When Jeongguk found some, he huffed angrily to himself, going back all the way to the beginning to do the dance movements again. Perfecting it. No one wanted to see his stupid mistakes on stage, he shouldn't be letting anyone down. They deserved way better than what he could do. But even then, he should be near to achieving perfection.
"I see you found them." Hoseok beamed at him, gently grazing his arm, just above the tattoo as if he was afraid to touch. His eyebrows furrowed for a split second, but was then covered, yet again, by one of his gorgeous sunshine smiles, urging the younger to smile on with him. Unable to not do so, Jeongguk grinned back, though somewhat dishonest, nodding to himself, looking back in the mirror, refusing to look down at the slightly pulled up long-sleeve. Instead, he stubbornly pulled down the sleeve, this time genuinely smiling back at sunshine hyung, pulling him along to dance.
A few hours into the practice a very tired looking Jimin joined them, as he was stepping into the studio, instantly knowing the moves to their trio dance. As he was dancing he moved into the current formation, laughing along with the others at his silliness. Jeongguk saw that there was a hint of something that isn't usually there on his face, and some of his moves were half-hearted and not there - but he decided to ignore it and blame it on his fatigue, noting to himself that he should scold him for not getting enough sleep, for spending those precious hours 'talking' to Taehyung.
When they finished practice, Jeongguk and Jimin bid farewell to Hoseok, idly chatting among themselves until they reached the shared apartment. Jimin playfully pushed Jeongguk into the bathroom, telling him that he has showered already while Hoseok and him were finishing up on their duo dance.
Shrugging to himself Jeongguk prepared himself for shower, throwing his belongings, which he couldn't dispose of, next to the tub, carelessly throwing his clothes away on the tiled floor. He stepped into the shower, started the water, catching sight of his arm.
A second flower was trailing up, dangerously climbing up to his neck. Jeongguk loudly whimpered, drawing his hand back from the faucet, shakily drawing his fingers over the blossom. Jeongguk gasped loudly, when he saw a rippling effect dart over the surface of the deadly painting on his arm. Unable to stop himself, he smiled, warmth spreading through his body. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all, there was hope to find his significant other.
With newly found hope, he euphorically washed away all his fears, watching it go down the drain with sparkling eyes. He was humming melodically to the song that they have been practicing to, even doing the movements as he scrubbed away any bad feelings he had been feeling.
The butterflies scratched and itched against the walls of his stomach lining, making Jeongguk very nervous, but so fucking exhilarated. He couldn't wait to find his soulmate, fall in love, and live a happy life, as the majority of the people did.
Jimin and Taehyung were very surprised when Jeongguk stepped out of the shower with glistening eyes, mouth curling up at the ends, presenting his pearly white teeth. They quickly covered the shock, smiling back, inviting him to the dinner table. They gave him the most of what they have ordered, arguing that he needed all of it, he was a growing man. Behind those grins, the pulled curtains revealed distraught glances to his arm, and in between each other.
Jimin and Taehyung knew who he was.
Day 10
Jeongguk didn't have any 'special' plans for the past few days - it has been uneventful for him, bouncing between his apartment and the dance (theory) classes. His euphoric state had yet to fade away, and he wasn't yet ready to let go of it. This was a sick game of seesaw, where he was stuck at the bottom, unable to get up. But he was still hopeful, so damn hopeful that someone will sit on top of that seesaw pushing him up towards the skies.
Today, he had to take the bus across their street to get to school, he just didn't have time to walk. Arriving at the bus station he paused, cuddling up in the warmth of his jacket. Unsurprisingly he felt waves, and butterflies in his stomach, much stronger as the days went by. Looking to his right, he saw a man sitting on the bench, huddling much like he was. A cap hid his face well, but not the dumpling shape of it.
Jeongguk's heart skipped a beat, examining the only visible boyish features of the stranger. He was being creepy. His eyes whipped away from the man, and he started awkwardly whistling. Why? He didn't really know himself. Jeongguk just gently rocked himself back and forth on the balls of his feet, begging his heart to stop beating. Stop beating so fast.
"Shut the fuck up." A deep voice grumbled from beside him, startling Jeongguk. The black clad man was now standing upright, staring into his soul. Something in Jeongguk snapped, before he heard a mantra of 'soulmate, soulmate, soulmate' in his head. His heart was now completely out of order - once beating slow, once beating fast. Slow and steady, fast. Slow, fast, dead.
"S-soulmate." Jeongguk muttered, reaching out to the man, who whipped himself back, away from Jeongguk. An immense amount of hurt scraped Jeongguk's beating soul. He lowered his hand, finding it hard to stop any tears from forming in his eyes.
"Stop crying." The man said, stuffing his hands into his pockets, looking ahead, in lieu of looking at Jeongguk. "Just so that we're clear," He started, "I don't want you." He said simply, his eyes finding Jeongguks' this time. They shared that look for a while, bathing in the tension of the moment. He spoke again:
"I have someone who is already special to me, and you could never replace them, soulmate or not, I couldn't care less about who you are, what you could do to me, how my heart could be doing magical things, as it's already doing all of those with my special someone, I don't need someone who burdens my life." The stranger pulled up his sleeves steadily, disgustedly looking at the flowers. The exact duplicate of Jeongguk's. "This shit," He poked it aggressively, both of them ogling at the rippling. "means nothing to me, never did, never will. I hope you understand." He finished, noticing that their bus was arriving. He steadily walked towards it, getting on it, disappearing away from Jeongguk's sight.
Emptiness. The only thing he managed to feel.
Day 15
Jeongguk was furiously itching at his arm, almost drawing blood from it.
It really, really fucking hurt, and he couldn't do anything about it. The first two weeks were painless, but after that - oh, it was so damn painful. No painkiller could get rid of the pain Jeongguk was feeling. He wanted to die so fucking badly already.
He saw the man everyday, after their encounter. His heart was still beating dumbly, his head was still trapped in a maze, mist fallen over it, his hands were still clammy, even after he got rejected. He got rejected. But still, he found hope and prayed every night that the Gods would hear his voice, begging for his soulmate to love him back.
Whatever begging he was doing to his Gods seemed completely useless; the man didn't even bat an eyelash his way, didn't give a fuck that he was standing there, aching for him to accept and talk to him. The Gods didn't want him to feel euphoric - they wanted him to feel as dysphoric as humanly possible.
He kept scratching, trying to keep the screams deep down his throat. Aching, aching. The dull ache taking over his fogged mind. The tears were running down his face, yet a sensible part of his brain still refused to accept this. He got rejected by his one and only. He wished he could find someone.
Jimin and Taehyung arrived back home, laughing and joking, until they heard the screaming coming from Jeongguk's room. Their feet acted on their own towards the blue doored room, breaking through the door, cradling the boy to their chest. Jeongguk cried harder, trying to stop his nails digging into his hand, but it just hurt too much.
"Baby, you need to stop this." Jimin was crying too, gripping onto Jeongguk's hands, clasping it behind his back. He softly stroked the red skin, attempting to soothe the hurt away. Taehyung sat beside them, shutting his eyes tightly. He couldn't do this.
So he ran. He ran to his dumb Hyung's house, banging on the door violently, screaming for him to open the door immediately.
The man groggily opened the door, already acknowledging what he's going to get from the other, who seemed to be fuming.
"Why the fuck are you doing this?" Taehyung got straight to the point, gripping onto the shoulders of the sleepy man. Who dared to just hum, shaking his hands off of his shoulders, to make his way to the kitchen.
"I don't need him, it's that simple." He replied, peaking over his shoulder at Taehyung, continuing to make his evening coffee.
"Why?" Taehyung continued to fume, striding up behind him.
"There's no need to be violent Kim Taehyung." He stated, perfectly calm in the not so calm situation. "You know I don't do this soulmate shit, I'd rather die, rot in hell, see if I care." He paused for a second. "I have someone else as well."
"Not only is you dying going to fuck you over, Yoongi-hyung, but Hoseok too." Taehyung argued, balancing himself against the counter top. Yoongi chuckled to himself, putting the steaming pot down, lifting the coffee cup to his curled lips. His eyes watered, but he gulped it down, feeling the burning overtake the scratching feeling in his throat.
Taehyung's eyes scanned him up and down, squinting his eyes in hatred. His breaths were heavy, having to really control himself not to lash out at Yoongi.
"Look," Yoongi started, "No one really wants me. What's the point? Hoseok will find his soulmate and be happy with them I guess, he will move on, I'll just be a happy memory." He gazed away, putting his thoughts together. His mind was ticking with every passing thought and second, weighing the options he had. There were none.
"Yoongi, he could heal you." Taehyung begged, his heart clenching tightly.
"Honorifics, Taehyung-ah."
"I could give less fucks about honorifics 'Yoongi'." Taehyung roared, turning Yoongi around to face him, putting their faces only inches away from each other. They stared each other down, both of them having watery eyes, tears ready to run down their faces, showing the pain deep down their hearts.
"I don't want to be healed Taehyung." Yoongi smiled sadly, his feet becoming a lot more interesting than Taehyung's face. "I want peace."
"But he could give you peace, he's the nicest fucking pe-"
"Preferably dead, Taehyung." Yoongi patted Taehyung's shoulder, pointing towards the door. Taehyung got the message, disappointed frown prominent on his handsome features.
Yoongi collapsed from pain.
Day 17
The pain was settling down, in Jeongguk's case. Even though it was still panging in his chest, his arm, he couldn't stay at home, curled under his soft bed sheets , waiting for his heart to stop thundering. He was in refusal. Jeongguk now managed to make himself believe that he was dreaming, and that he would wake up from this nightmare. This settled all his nerves, and made him calmer than before.
Even in his dreams duties called. He had to practice, and study, as if he wasn't dying away - but he's not going to die, so what's the issue? - Jeongguk thought to himself, carrying on as if nothing was happening, pain becoming just a dull ache as his ignorance grew.
He was waiting at the bus stop, swinging his duffel bag back and forth that held the change of his clothes he would need after practice. Unsurprisingly his soulmate sat down on the cold bench, whipping out his phone, idly tapping away on the screen, as if he were texting someone. His soulmate was smiling gently, his eyes shutting slightly, kitten lips curling up breathtakingly, revealing his gums. Jeongguk has become acquainted with that, in lieu of his /actual/ soulmate.
A sudden courage rolled over him, so he, for some reason unbeknownst to him, Jeongguk sat down besides the man, gazing ahead as if nothing happened. The man looked up in surprise, Yoongi, shrugging to himself, before tapping away on that damn phone again.
"Hi." Jeongguk nonchalantly said, feeling his legs wiggle up and down.
"What?" The 'stranger' grumbled, not even bothering to look up from his phone.
"I like blue, how 'bout you?" He ignored the man, still trying to get to know him.
"Okay?" He questioned, a puzzled look crossing his scowling features. Jeongguk took this as a sign of interest, and continued on.
"I love Justin Bieber, but I love the occasional hip hop too, rap and that, you know." He went on, looking up at the ceiling of the bus stop, thinking deeply about what else he should say. "I'm also called Jeon Jeongguk!" He stated happily, clearly proud of himself.
"Okay Jeon Jeongguk, I'm Min Yoongi I guess."
Jeongguk tasted his name on his tongue, only on the inside of course, not wanting to creep the man out, loving it already. He felt the flowers start itching, which he slapped violently, pretending it was a fly. Coincidentally, Min Yoongi also slapped the same arm simultaneously with the younger man, grimacing at this movement - he wasn't liking this link between them.
"Don't do that." Yoongi growled, getting to his feet.
"Do what?" Jeongguk inquired, his mind in a complicated maze - he didn't understand what he did wrong, he was only trying to engage in a conversation with the man.
"That shit." Yoongi pointed at Jeongguk's arm, holding his own head with the other, rubbing away aggressively on his temple. "Don't do that shit, stop, I didn't want this, and I don't want you."
"Oh, Yoongi-ssi, it's all a dream, it's okay." Jeongguk smiled, which made Yoongi pause for a second. His heart drummed steadily, but then, his boyfriends face popped up in his head - making him feel regretful of such a reaction to a stranger. How disgusting of him, isn't it?
"Does this seem like a fucking dream to you, kid? You're awake, want a slap?" Yoongi asked, getting more and more agitated by the second.
"No, thank you, why is everyone so violent?" Jeongguk frowned to himself, then yelped; Yoongi pinched him hard on his hand, causing him to retract it to his chest in fear. "You didn't have to-"
"Yes I did, wake the fuck up, this is reality, and we're both going to die!" Yoongi bent down to shake up Jeongguk a bit, feeling electricity passing through his veins, around his body like a bolt. He quickly pulled away, frowning at his hands, also taking note of how the pain lessened when he touched the other.
Jeongguk sprung to his feet, angrily looking down at Yoongi.
"You still didn't have to do that, do you pick fights with strangers?"
"If it brings them means of understanding that they're fully alive, awake and functioning, and that they're literally gonna die in a few days then, yes." Jeongguk's hands clenched at this, his eyes literally burning up.
"You're a dick." Jeongguk said simply, turning to walk away. Fuck practice, he doesn't need it anyways, he can do it at home.
They both ignored the pain.
Day 20
There was some obnoxious knocking on Jeongguk's and Vmin's apartment door. Jeongguk was the only one at home, who was suffering, to say the least.
There was blood running down from where the outline of the flowers were etched into his skin - he had to gauze it up, but the blood still ran through the thick material. Jeongguk already took the fifth painkiller today, praying silently to himself that he wouldn't die of an overdose , even though it was only 2pm.
More disgraceful knocking filled the apartment, making Jeongguk loudly call out a "Coming!" with the words of "for fuck's sake" being muttered to himself.
Opening the door, his eyes widened.
There he was.
Min Yoongi.
In front of their apartment's doorstep.
Min /fucking/ Yoongi.
Similarly, he had a gauze wrapped around his arm, all the way up to his shoulders. If his gauze would've been taken off, twenty flowers could've been seen, but his blood seemed more precious to him. If you looked careful enough, you could see the stems of the flowers crawling towards his neck.
Yoongi's stance seemed pained, he was gripping onto his waist, fingers clawing into the flesh. That's where the second wound seemed to form on his fragile body.
Jeongguk's eyebrows furrowed, his heart skipping a beat.
"What the fuck?" He whispered, pain clearly evident in his voice. Jeongguk reached out to Yoongi, unknowingly touching his side. Yoongi instantly responded by standing more upright, the agony vanishing within the blink of an eye.
"Thank you." Yoongi smiled gratefully.
"Fuck you." Jeongguk with wit, taking his hands back. Yoongi reached out for it, holding it to his side.
"I know you hate me, please, let me just," He trailed off for a second, tears springing to his eyes, "please let me explain why I'm rejecting you as my significant other, I beg you." The elder man's voice broke, tears leaving his eyes, trailing down the soft flesh of his cheeks.
Jeongguk wordlessly motioned for him to enter with his head, still holding onto his small body. His heart was clenching and unclenching, clenching and unclenching, tiring him out to be honest. He was tired of feeling. He was so damn tired, he should be happy.
They silently, oddly comfortable in each other's presence, moved to the couch, sitting down, facing each other. Yoongi was still quietly sobbing to himself, eyes moving around the well decorated apartment, that he could've been a part of. He's been here before, but it has changed, since something else has come along - Jeon Jeongguk himself. Which is partially why they haven't met before, but maybe then, and only then, they would've had a chance of becoming one.
"You don't deserve this." Yoongi whispered, clutching onto Jeongguk's hand tighter. Oddly enough, there seemed to be no pain, and the bleeding seems to have also stopped - gauze was turning an interesting tawny shade of brown.
Jeongguk scoffed, scrunching up his nose (cute). "Yeah, that seems about right Yoongi-ssi." Jeongguk's orbs were burning again, 'hatred' seeping straight out of them, into Yoongi (at least that's what Yoongi thought).
"You can call me Hyung, Jeongguk." Yoongi whimpered, placing his other hand on the bunny's.
"I'm not about that game Yoongi-ssi." Jeongguk hissed, pressing 'Yoongi-ssi' almost menacingly. "Just tell me what you wanted to, and get the fuck out."
"Okay, I'm sorry." Yoongi mumbled, orbs seeming lifeless when they met Jeongguk's. They both kept their whimpers inside. "Jeongguk, I want you to know, that how I phrased myself was very shitty of me, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sure you're an amazing person, you have amazing friends, so it's pretty logical to think so.
"I just... Jeongguk, this is a good chance for me to just leave the world you know? It's so selfish of me, I know, to leave my beloved and friends behind, but at this point it seems like the best option to me. I just want to be at peace, and even if I let you in my life, the lifeless pain would still stab me in the front occasionally. Even Hoseok can't stop my pain and he's been in my life for years now. And I don't believe in this soulmate bullshit. Sure, it does exist," he lifted their held hands, implying how they weren't hurting anymore, since they were touching, "but I don't think that this should determine who you want to live your life with, or who you want to love. I think that's just... Jeongguk that's messed up." Jeongguk cut in.
"The person who's your soulmate is your perfect match, Yoongi-ssi."
"My ass Jeongguk." Yoongi scoffed, turning to face the LED TV, "you're obviously brainwashed too, everyone is in this world. So what? We get to heal each other, and our hearts do magical leaps and shit, and? Honestly, it doesn't mean shit. Love should be organic, not this artificial shit they probably built in our blood somehow to control their civilisation." Yoongi was rambling at this point, blood boiling with every word that rolled off his tongue. He sighed to himself, snapping his almost black orbs back on Jeongguk, slightly startling him. "My point is," He pointed his finger back and forth between them, "We should die together."
"Please enlighten me how you made this point through your monologue." Jeongguk teased without noticing it, joy building up in his heart. It shouldn't be doing that.
"Don't question your much wiser elders, kid." Yoongi said, laughing to himself, flicking Jeongguk off. He turned serious in a split second, no emotions evident on his face. He ignored his feelings, as he usually did. But this time it was the feeling of joy.
"Are you in?"
Day 21
Jeongguk and Yoongi walked hand in hand to an abandoned house they chose as their "death bed".
Yesterday, they spent the whole day getting to know each other. And it would be a lie if they didn't both feel at ease, with butterflies peacefully rummaging through their stomachs, settling down, happy with the fake outcome.
They said their goodbyes to everyone that mattered to them, which wasn't much in both cases - 2-2 people for them both. It was heartbreaking, especially for Jeongguk. Jimin and Taehyung became his only and best friends after certain events that took place a few years ago. They took care of him, and nurtured him, something someone else should've been doing, instead of young adults who were just released into this cruel world. Taehyung refused to show any emotion, instead wrapping his hands around his soulmates waist, kissing his neck gently, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, smiling at Jeongguk encouragingly. He didn't want the rejected man to spend his last moments thinking that he caused pain for his favorite Hyungs - and Jeongguk was eternally grateful for that.
With a kiss on their cheeks, Jeongguk departed with Yoongi.
Yoongi, on the other hand, didn't do goodbyes - so instead, he wrote a letter to his friends and boyfriend;
'I don't so sappy shit, and you all know that.
But I love you all, truly. Thank you for all that you've done for me, and I'm sorry for being like this to you. I wish it could've been done differently, but I couldn't live with this subconscious - I would die this way than at my own hands. I'm sorry for taking away one or two important people from your lives. I feel so fucking selfish for doing this to you. But it has to be done, please understand that, for the sake of your own well being and consciousness. Please everyone, just accept this. Forget me, or please remember happy memories that we've shared together.
Hoseok, I love you. So fucking much, I love you. I couldn't have left you for someone I don't know, you know how much I hate this corrupted system. I love you, please remember that. Find your soulmate, and seek happiness with them, yes? Let them heal you, don't be a coward like me. I'll love you forever, I hope we meet sometime in the afterlife, as friends, or maybe something more. But I wish you the best, as well as all of my friends.
Thank you for doing everything for me, really,
Take care of yourselves. I love you. Min Yoongi.'
Yoongi also wrote a list of happy moments he shared with his own friends, Namjoon, Jin and, obviously, Hoseok, his lover.
Now, they were peacefully walking down to the ruins, where they would chatter away until their final moments passed.
Jeongguk still failed to understand the point of this, he wished that the man would just let him in and heal him. But he knew better. Though he failed to understand his line of thinking, his heart fought against him, and just urged him to accept his faith, and do what was best for him and his destined one. This really was fucked up, wasn't it?
"Hyung, do you think it's going to hurt?" Jeongguk asked, Eyeing the man that was way shorter than he was. The stems of the flowers grew, starting to claw around his neck. The pricks animatedly pricked his skin, drawing blood - not only that drew out the thick, rosy substance, but still, the outline of the ghostly flowers.
Yoongi and Jeongguk squeezed each other's hands simultaneously, mutely telling each other that they had to endure the same suffering - they were one.
"No, we have each other." Yoongi smiled, eyes crinkling up.
"Hyung," Jeongguk whined, "You can't do this to my heart, this is too much, you can't be flirting with me like this when you literally rejected me." He had a point.
Yoongi just muttered a sorry, carrying on his journey with his soulmate to the burnt down house. He led the way as if he knew the way here like the back of his hand.
"You know this place?" Jeongguk asked, curiously tilting his head.
"Yes, this is where I nearly died." Yoongi laughed. Jeongguk felt his stomach churn unpleasantly, pausing abruptly .
"Yoongi, no one states that kind of stuff so casually, what in the heaven's?" Jeongguk's voice quivered.
"I have a dark past Jeongguk, you don't need to know this, be happy please, just for this last moments." Yoongi begged, stems growing larger and larger around his neck. He was already feeling the choking sensation. So was Jeongguk.
"Whatever you say, Hyung." Jeongguk decided to leave it, his voice sounding strained already from the pressure.
"Nearly there, keep it going Gguks." Yoongi tugged, stepping into the ruins.
It was clearly a house, with weed growing taller and taller, nearly reaching the ceiling. When stepping into the house, the living room was the first thing you saw, but Jeongguk didn't have enough time to examine where he was dragged to, Yoongi didn't let him.
At last, they unsteadily walked up a very broken, and hazardous staircase, holding even more tightly onto each other.
Yoongi stopped in front of a door, pushing it open. It was a boys room, from what could be made out. There was a burnt guitar, that leant against what seemed like a chest of drawers - on top of that, there were a collection of car models, all dressed up in black. Ripped, incinerated curtains hung loosely on a half broken bar. The rest seemed hard to make out, as it was heavily painted in black.
Yoongi sat down on the floor, Jeongguk following suit, also sat down, leaning on Yoongi's shoulder. The elder placed his head on top of Jeongguk’s, smiling softly at the ironic moment - dying where he planned to die a couple of years ago.
After a few minutes of silence, Yoongi broke it, in the most staggering manner.
"I like black, my favorite artist is Kendrick Lamar, and I used to have a toy poodle called Min Holly, but he died a few months ago, of old age." A fond smile painted across his cheek, ignoring the feeling of the swine wrapping around his throat delicately. "I used to study music production, they used to say I have lots of talent, still did it as a hobby, but gave it up a few years ago. It was too much struggle, and my depression was just enhanced by it. It just didn't make sense to try and pursue it if it became something that hurt me, as well as many other things."
Jeongguk was staring at Yoongi, not believing that he decided to this all of this right fucking now when they had 21 days to do the exact same thing. But he still listened attentively.
"When I was 17, I discovered the world of music properly, and I fell in love, so I wanted to pursue it, make money off of it, be famous.
Jeongguk, life doesn't work that way, any form of art is the worst possible thing you could do, not only did it result in this," Yoongi pointed around him, "But in the death of my parents, and my passion in anything. Personally." He smiled, shutting his eyes, already feeling a foreign ringing fill his ears. "If I lived a happy life Jeongguk, I would've happily given myself over to you, I'm certain you would've made me so damn happy. I know." Jeongguk smiled at this, snuggling closer to his warmth. His sight was becoming worse and worse, small stars filling his vision. The pricks were digging into his throats, cutting into his veins already, menacingly wrapping around his neck. Yoongi must've still been talking to him, but he couldn't be hearing much more of his words. Just the steady ringing and beating of his heart. It was painless, as Yoongi said it would be, it was just unpleasant, to know that you're being choked to death by some tattoos on your neck, without actually feeling or seeing it happening.
Before his vision could darken anymore, he saw nearing his. He saw him mouth the words 'I'm so sorry, I like you', before kissing his forehead, keeping his lips on there, until Jeongguk's vision finally blacked out.
The ringing stopped, his breath fell, his heart halted.
This was the end.