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Mark was tired.
Tired wasn't even enough to describe what he was feeling. He was bone deep exhausted, tired out of his mind and feeling like shit.
Not that he would complain, it was after all what he had signed up for when he signed the contract to become an idol.
He still gave Bambam a back rub when he asked and still held Jinyoung's drink when he was taking off his makeup so that he could keep drinking and hopefully not get dehydrated.
He gave his water bottle that was still almost full to Jaebum when he whined about being thirsty, not minding that he himself was thirsty as well.
But when they were back in the dorm, all seven of them for once, no one having the energy to go out or any individual schedule, Mark just went to his room and laid down in his bed, hoping to take a nap and maybe recharge a bit.
When that didn't work out how he wanted it to, it was safe to say that Mark was frustrated.
As soon as he saw that his members had obviously had better luck, he grew moody.
He actually snapped at Yugyeom when he told him that he looked old.
When Mark snapped at the Maknae, the others grew worried.
"Hyung. Are you okay?", asked Youngjae softly.
"I'm fine, don't worry", was Mark's answer.
"Are you sure?", asked Jackson.
Mark huffed, got a glass of water and went into the living room where he curled up on the sofa and started looking for something to watch.
The others looked at each other, shrugged and decided to leave him alone for now, hoping that Mark would be back to normal soon.
Mark thought that as well, but after three hours of binge watching some random kdrama, he only felt worse.
He felt as if he was falling, cracking at the seams and about to break at the smallest push.
He thought about when the last time was that he had felt like that, and came up blank.
Until his gaze fell upon his phone where he remembered one picture to be, the picture he took right before he started feeling horrible.
Almost like now, but now it was definitely worse.
He had of course told his members about that incident.
Back then they had told him that he could always come to them when he was feeling down or just needed a hug or for basically anything.
He could hear the other members silently talking about him. He had worried them.
But now that he knew what he needed, he stood up and made his way over to the kitchen where the others where.
Jinyoung noticed him first when he was leaning against the door frame.
"Ah, Hyung! How are you feeling?", he asked.
"I'm.... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you earlier, Yugyeom. Can you forgive Hyung?", asked Mark, only looking at Yugyeom.
"Of course. I understand. It was an exhausting week, hell, even an exhausting month. I understand that your nerves were being highly strung and me provoking you didn't help at all, so it's my fault, really", answered Yugyeom.
"It's not. I shouldn't have let my anger get the best out of me. I should have thought about what I was saying, and what consequences my actions would have. I'm the oldest, I should know better than that", said Mark seriously.
"Just because you are the oldest, doesn't mean that you have to be perfect", scolded Jackson, "Surely Hyung must know that."
"Usually I do, it's just that right now...", Mark didn't know how to explain himself in a way that would make the others understand.
"Take your time", said Jaebum softly and took Mark's hand in a comforting gesture.
"I don't want you to think that I'm complaining or anything, but lately I've had so much to do, so many things to take care of and I just feel a little left out, I guess? But not really? How do I explain this.... I just think....", the others were frowning now. Their eldest Hyung was usually quiet but he always found the right words to explain himself, and now he was at a loss for words. That surely couldn't be good.
"All of a sudden, tears started to fall from Mark's eyes.
"If you don't hug me right now I think I might fall apart", was all Mark managed to get out but it was certainly enough for his members to engulf him in a giant group hug.
"We've got you now, it's okay Hyung. Don't stress yourself and just stop thinking for now. You are safe.", were all things that were whispered to him and Mark was grateful to have such understanding and gentle dongsaengs.
He had never felt safer than in his members arms.