Chapter Text
Her whole body was burning with pain. Broken bones, cuts on the skin that never healed, bruises. Kara didn't know how she could still be alive, but one of her many wishes during the last month was to finally die to not feel pain anymore.
She wasn't sure how long it had been since Lex kidnapped her. He had managed to convince everyone that she was dead, creating a realistic puppet in her image and likeness. He had taken her to a place that even she didn't know the location. At first, Kara hadn't yielded. She had managed to hold on so long that even Lex was surprised. But then the pain was too much, and the blonde had come to beg him to end it.
Lex was satisfied, he had bent the girl of steel, but he hadn't finished with her yet. He could visit her every day to torture her or leave her alone weeks, without any food and with the fear that at any moment someone could hurt her.
The silence in the cold and damp cell stopped when the blonde could hear some noises coming from the outside. Kara's eyes widened, knowing that very soon Lex or one of his henchmen would come to hurt her. Kara stirred slightly on the bed she was chained to and tried to calm her quick breathing. She had a gag in her mouth that prevented her from screaming or breathing regularly.
The door swung open slowly, letting in soft green light. Kara began to feel very weak as soon as she noticed the green glow that accompanied the shadow to the metal door frame.
"We don't have much time. Apparently, my little sister is smarter than I expected" Lex spoke quietly as he approached her. Kara tried in vain to get as far away as possible and began to mumble something in a whisper.
Occasionally Lex mentioned her sister, Lena. Kara had forgotten the sound of her voice and the pleasant feeling of hugging her. But she knew that Lena hated her and that if she saw her again she would kill her.
Or at least that was what Lex had convinced her of during that whole period of torture. Besides, Lena was the last person the blonde had seen before being kidnapped.
She had finally decided to tell her who she was, but Lena had already figured it out. Kara didn't understand how Lex had managed to reveal it to her first, but that same day she realized that she hadn't killed him. Lena was furious, hurt and disappointed with Kara. She had thrown her a glass and screamed everything that came into her head, driven by great pent-up anger. She had threatened to kill her if she showed up again.
That day Kara hoped that the brunette didn't mean everything she said, she hoped that one day they would be friends again. She hoped she hadn't lost her best friend. But as soon as she returned home, in tears after that argument, during which she had only apologized pathetically, she only remembered to see everything black before falling to the ground and waking up on that metal bed.
"I'll give you what you were wishing all this time, aren't you happy?" He asked with a small, arrogant smile. Kara closed her eyes frightened, the sound of the electrocardiogram sounded in the room. Lex was always careful to bring her close to death, but never risk killing her. It wouldn't have been fun for him. The man approached with an apparent calm before taking her by the hair and raising her head, forcing her to look at him. "Look at me while I'm talking to you," he growled low, but Kara avoided his eyes, squinting in pain.
"Finally I'll see you exhale your last breath," he whispered as he approached the kryptonite dagger to the blonde's throat. Kara didn't even have the strength to get away. She stood still, waiting for the blade to pierce her skin and cut her throat.
There was a shot, so powerful that it made her jump and her ears whistle. The shot echoed through the room and Kara realized that Lex was letting go his grip both around her hair and around the handle of the dagger. A trickle of blood descended from the corner of his mouth before his eyes turned glassy and he fell to the ground, dead.
Kara looked at the frightening scene and noticed another figure near the door. It was smaller than Lex, and from its hair pulled up in a high ponytail, she knew she was a woman.
"Kara!" She shouted as she approached. The blonde didn't hear her name from someone for so long she had forgotten how it sounded. Kara felt retching that only brought her great nausea since her stomach was empty. The view faded but she remained awake.
"You're still alive," the voice whispered again, then quickly approached her bed. When at last the screen light that flanked her revealed Lena's familiar features, Kara stirred again.
She hates you.
Lex's voice echoed in her head as Kara panicked again.
If she ever sees you again she will kill you.
The blonde began to fidget and try to free her wrists from the metal alloys.
Don't you remember how she looked at you? She was so disappointed and angry. I had the same look before trying to kill Superman.
Kara remembered her emerald and darker eyes, she remembered that she could hardly recognize the woman who always gave her a sweet smile. Lena's face lit up when Kara brought her lunch or simply went to see her. Kara was always glad to be able to make her happy.
Believe me, she will succeed. She is more determined than me, she will find you and kill you slowly to make you feel the same pain you inflicted on her.
Kara was now in tears and kept on fussing until Lena was beside her.
"Hey, it's okay," Lena began to reassure her. Kara shook her head quickly and began to sob as she tried to distance herself again.
All lies!
Lena became more and more worried, she had the feeling that Kara was more afraid of her than of the situation in which she was.
"Now I'm going to take off-" She didn't even have time to finish what she was saying, approaching a hand, that Kara began to shake again and bending her head to the other side. Lena noticed how her heart was going crazy and clearly, it was fear.
"Kara...?" Lena whispered more and more worriedly as she touched her shoulder. Kara was too scared to calm herself, even though the tone the woman next to her was using wasn't as contemptuous as she had imagined. It was so sweet that it seemed almost true.
She is illuding you before killing you.
Lex's voice, which put what she was most afraid into words, continued to blur her thoughts. Lena decided to approach her hand anyway, not having time to calm the blonde. They were still in Lex's lair, she couldn't risk any more surprises.
Lena began to untie the gag as she watched as Kara's face twisted into a terrified expression. As soon as she removed it, pulling it out and throwing it away, she didn't resist and gently wiped the super heroine's cheek with her thumb.
"It's all right, you are safe now" but this didn't seem to calm the blonde in any way, who remained motionless with her eyes narrowed. Lena immediately felt a grip on her stomach, the sense of guilt that had consumed her for days, made the situation even worse. The moment was interrupted by the sound of an alarm and the red light that came on in the room.
"We have to leave," Lena whispered and knelt, looking for a couple of keys in his brother's lifeless body. She wasn't sure it was him, Lex was capable of anything, he could have cloned himself as Eve had done long ago. When she found the keys she immediately approached the various padlocks and began to free the woman.
The door flew open as soon as she finished opening the last lock and instinctively Lena retrieved the gun again, pointing it at the entrance. Alex stepped forward and froze as she saw her helpless sister on the metal bed. Immediately, she ran to her side and began pulling away every thread attached to her body before looking for her gaze.
"Kara .. Kara look at me" Alex whispered trying to get the attention of the blonde who hesitantly opened her eyes and met her sister's worried gaze.
"A ... lex" was able to pronounce after a while, trying hard to talk. "Hey, we are going to take you away from here" She reassured her before communicating with some agents informing them to bring a stretcher to be able to carry her. Lena was increasingly confused by Kara's behaviour. She didn't seem to have been frightened at the sight of her sister, but she immediately got upset when she recognized her. Lena decided to postpone the questions and helped the agents get out of the building with no further problems. After being moved to the stretcher and continuing to be reassured by her sister, Kara closed her eyes and finally let herself go, the muffled sounds and the mind completely free from all thoughts.
Pain. The only thing she could feel was pain all over her body. Kara was shrouded in darkness, but soon she felt smothered by bright and burning green. She tried to scream, but her throat made no sound. She couldn't breathe and the pain didn't stop growing.
Lena remained in the corner of the room and looked worried at the scene. Alex was removing the pieces of Kryptonite that were in her sister's body. A tube allowed her to breathe, but suddenly she was seized by spasms and began to fidget.
The woman approached quickly and looked worriedly at the blonde who was still covered in blood. "I need a sedative," Alex said quickly, no emotion showed in her tone, but inside she was worried. She knew she didn't have to panic if she wanted to save Kara.
The surgery lasted four hours, during which Lena had a heart attack when she noticed Kara's heart becoming weaker. Eventually, Alex got her into a pharmacological coma, her body now covered with bandages and completely cleansed of blood.
Kara was wearing her suit when they found her. It was torn, completely stained with blood and had been cut completely to perform the surgery. Only the cape was intact, Lex took it and left it in what seemed his office in that terrifying base.
Lena, knowing full well that Kara was now out of danger and that she wouldn't wake up very soon, decided to occupy the time with what she did best. She locked herself in one of the DEO labs and started working non-stop on a new suit. More resistant, comfortable and able to protect Kara from kryptonite at its best. Alex remained as long as possible near her sister, checking her vital parameters too many times. When there were attacks that needed her presence she knew she had to deal with them and then left an agent in the room before leaving.
Lena entered the room only once. She approached hesitantly, while with her eyes she analyzed every single centimetre of the body lying on the bed and covered with a sheet. A hand was spread over the latter and the wire that measured saturation in the blood was attached to it.
For a moment Lena felt breathless and thought of running away from that room, unable to see Kara in that state. But she took courage, while the guilt continued to consume her soul. As soon as she was close enough, she sat down on the chair where Alex was often seated and with a trembling hand took one of the blonde's, who at that moment seemed too relaxed.
Lena remained silent for at least ten minutes while watching the woman's face before taking her hand and feeling her eyes burn.
"I'm sorry," she whispered in a trembling voice as she gently squeezed Kara's hand in hers. She felt responsible, after all, it was her brother who kidnapped her. And she cursed herself for believing even for a moment that Kara was dead.
"I'm so sorry," Lena continued and bit her lower lip as she stroked the fingers of her still hand with her thumb. Lena had thought, after receiving the news of the alleged death of the Kryptonian, that Lex would have never wasted the chance to hurt a Kryptonian, he wouldn't have killed Kara without torturing her or humiliating her in public.
The news didn't spread, J'onn continued to pretend to be the hero to keep the city from getting into chaos. But there had been a funeral for Kara Danvers.
Lena hadn't spoken to her since their discussion. When Alex had asked her if he had seen her the next day, Lena had snapped at her accusing her of lying as Kara had done.
"I shouldn't have reacted like that" She continued softly as she continued with the caresses.
"I should have let you explain ... Alex made me understand that you had your reasons, if only I had let you talk maybe Lex ..." at that point she realized she was in tears and a lump in her throat prevented her from continuing to speak. Lena squeezed Kara's pale hand hard before kissing her knuckles and continuing to cry.
Lena stayed there for a while, she didn't know if minutes or hours, but finally she wiped her face and taking courage she got up. She left a kiss on the girl's forehead before leaving the room and no longer enter it. She felt like a hypocrite, and she knew she would spend all the time crying. She couldn't afford to waste time, so she continued to distract herself with work and the construction of the suit. He didn't dare to leave the DEO, she managed the L-Corp from there with the help of Jess and participated at the most urgent meetings in Face Time.
Then the moment arrived.
Lena noticed a great confusion and agitation at the DEO from her laboratory and it wasn't an attack since no one was preparing with weapons or uniforms. It didn't take long for her questions to be answered.
"Supergirl is waking up!" One of the agents exclaimed and Lena's eyes widened. She acted instinctively, running through the corridors avoiding the various agents and pushing someone to make her way. Alex was already in the room flanked by some doctor. Lena and other agents watched the scene from beyond the glass.
"Alex .." the blonde whispered weakly when she finally managed to open her eyes and struggle to speak.
"Hey, you .." her sister smiled automatically as she pulled a lock of hair out of her face. "How do you feel?" She whispered as she sat on her usual chair.
"Bad" She wrinkled her nose with a twinge of pain and the redhead bit her lower lip.
"Where are we?" Kara asked, starting to wake up and trying to look around. Alex noticed her fussing and placed a hand on her shoulder to reassure her.
"You're safe at the DEO," She began, but the blonde continued to look around, expecting something to happen at any moment.
"And Lex?" She asked quickly as Alex sought her gaze. "You don't have to worry about that monster anymore, he's sub-case in a maximum-security cell. If he tries to do anything we are allowed to let him be eaten by an alien" Kara nodded slightly even though hesitantly.
"Lena?" She asked after a while and Alex smiled at her before taking her face in her hands and finally looking into her eyes. "She's here, she helped us find you," She said and strangely Kara didn't seem happy with the news. Alex frowned at the strange behaviour of the Kryptonian, but an alarm sounded throughout the DEO, and the red lights illuminated the room.
The redhead seemed to hesitate for a moment before being called back by J'onn in the speaker and informing her that the emergency was serious and he needed the best agents.
"I have to go," She sighed, turning back to Kara, who shook her head and tried to sit up. Alex's eyes widened and she placed both hands on her shoulders.
"Hey no, you have to stay here, the wounds haven't healed yet and you've been exposed to kryptonite for too long," She said gently forcing the blonde to lie down again.
"Don't leave me alone," Kara begged her before making a face at the pangs of pain she felt throughout her body. Alex bit her lower lip before giving her a painkiller and approaching her again crouching down.
"I promise I'll come back so fast that you won't even notice that I left," She whispered, stroking her head as the blonde relaxed from the effect of the drugs.
"I'll get Lena to keep you company, okay?" Alex didn't even wait for the blonde's answer before the door swung open and revealed Agent Vasquez out of breath.
"Director, we need you," she said and the redhead nodded as she stood up and gave a small squeeze to the blonde's hand before leaving the room.
Alex noticed Lena looking at the room where Kara was being held through the glass with great concern.
"I need you to be with her," She said quickly, startling the brunette in surprise.
"I don't think it's a good idea," She said hesitantly, and the murderous look Alex gave her made her flinch a moment before regaining confidence.
"You didn't see her, Alex. When I found her she was terrified ... of me," She admitted, looking down. Alex snorted a laugh, shaking her head.
"She was held captive by Lex for months and he was about to kill her, she was scared about what was going on around her, not you," she said with conviction, but when she saw Lena not being completely sure, she came over and put her hands on her shoulders.
"Right now Kara needs someone to stand by her and reassure her, she had a traumatic experience and having a familiar face near her will help her recover," she said and Lena felt guilty feeling on her stomach.
"Okay," She finally whispered nodding and Alex gave her a small smile before running away and not wasting any more time.
Lena entered the room closing the door and lowering the curtains for more privacy and immediately felt two blue eyes on her back. Lena didn't dare to turn around immediately, she took a few deep breaths before doing it slowly.
Kara was visibly tense and didn't look away from the woman a few steps away from her.
"Kara .." the brunette whispered giving a small smile, which vanished as soon as she saw the blonde start to get panicked, the electrocardiogram recorded the rapid beat.
"It's okay, it's me," She said, hoping to reassure her as she took a step forward. But that was the problem because Kara looked around and tried to get up quickly while holding back the moans of pain.
"No no, you can't get up, stop" at that point, Lena came up to her side and hesitantly put her hands to her.
"P-please .. n-no" Kara's voice had changed, it was broken, hoarse and full of so much pain that Lena almost couldn't recognize her.
"It's okay, you need to relax" She used the calmer tone she could find before approaching and placing a hand on the woman's arm, which consequently let out a small whimper, similar to a sob.
"Kara?" There was surprise and confusion in the tone of the brunette, while the Kryptonian was paralyzed with her back to Lena. The CEO kept her hand on her arm. Kara was shaking.
"Are you afraid of me?" She asked, hiding in vain the pain in her voice. Kara continued to tremble with her eyes closed and holding her breath.
"Can you look at me, please?" She asked and Kara slowly swallowed hard a lump in her throat before turning, head lowered.
Look at me!
The memory of the shots she received every time she didn't obey made her move automatically, even if the fear was still there and it was difficult to look up. Lena put her free hand to the woman's face in front of her. Kara tried to move away for a moment, but then stood still, knowing she couldn't resist.
Lena put her hand gently on the woman's cheek and tried to raise Kara's face so she could meet her gaze. When she finally saw the eyes of the wounded superhero, she felt her heart skip a bit.
Kara looked at her with terror and Lena was about to cry. No one had ever looked at her like that. She was used to the hatred look everyone gave her for her name. But no one had ever been afraid of her. At least not in that way.
"Is it because of what I told you the last time we talked?" Lena asked, hoping to receive an answer. Kara only tried to avoid looking at her again, but Lena didn't want to lose eye contact.
"I wasn't in me that evening Kara, I didn't mean those words. I would never dare to twist you even a hair" She said with so much sincerity that Kara looked at her in search of explanations. She seemed so convinced that Lena was lying.
"I'm telling you the truth, you're the most important person in my life, and seeing you in this state makes me feel worse than I ever was," She said sincerely and Kara let go of the tears she was holding back.
"I-I'm s-sorry" the blonde managed to say but Lena tried to calm her by approaching her completely sitting down beside her and hugging her gently so as not to hurt her.
"You don't have to apologize," she whispered in her ear, running a hand over her back, shaken by the continuous sobs.
"P-please .. d-don't hurt me" Kara continued to whisper disconnected prayers while Lena continued to reassure her.
"Kara, it's okay," she whispered as a few tears escaped her control. Slowly the Kryptonian approached Lena and hid her face in her chest, continuing to cry.
"I-I can't take it anymore, please make it stop" the sobs were muffled by the fabric of the DEO sweatshirt worn by Lena.
"It's all over," the brunette reassured her, starting to run her hand through her hair. Kara finally began to calm down over time and Lena felt her breathing getting more and more regular.
Kara slowly lowered her head and placed it on Lena's legs, hiding her face in her belly. The brunette stiffened and thought she had to move to make her lie in bed more comfortably. But as soon as she tried to move away, Kara clutched her sweatshirt in her hands and let out a small whimper.
"D-don't go" she whimpered and Lena felt her heart skip a beat before she smiled and froze. "I will stay here all the time, I promise," she whispered, starting again to pass a hand through the blonde curls of the superheroine, who after a few minutes fell asleep deeply.
The woman's sleep wasn't continuous and deep. Kara awoke suddenly shaking because of the nightmares that blurred her mind. Lena was always there, trying to calm her down and help her catch her breath every time.
"Breathe with me, okay?" She said calmly even though she was already panicking not knowing how to behave precisely. Lena wished so much that Alex was there at that moment, she was still a doctor and she knew her sister better.
Kara continued to get agitated despite Lena's attempts and the Kryptonian tried to stand up feeling choked. Lena quickly sat up and put her hand on her shoulder trying to stop her from doing anything stupid and getting hurt.
"Kara .." She called her several times before the blonde seemed able to hear her. Kara turned abruptly towards Lena as if only at that moment she had registered her presence.
"I-it hurts" she managed to say with a broken whisper and Lena bit her lip holding back her tears. "Where does it hurt?" She asked worriedly as she looked at the bandaged body for bloodstains. Kara took deep breaths trying to calm down and finally burst into tears.
"Everywhere," she said in a whimper before collapsing again on the bed, feeling strong nausea as she let a few tears of pain run down her face. Lena noticed that the woman was paler than she was before and stood up looking for a painkiller.
As soon as she managed to give her one, she turned to Kara and covered her again with the sheet.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked in a whisper. Kara nodded slowly, her eyes narrowed as she recovered. "Would you like to rest a little more?" Lena asked after a while as she put her hand close and adjusted her hair gently. Kara didn't answer, simply closed her eyes and took a deep breath before relaxing again. Lena continued to caress her hair waiting for her to fall asleep and stay there even after, fearing that she might wake up again and be sick.
Lena promised herself that she would remain there as long as necessary, that she would assist Kara during her recovery and that she would apologize properly. And maybe one day, when the Kryptonian would have felt better, she would have revealed her feelings to her.
"I love you so much it hurts" she whispered before kneel a little and kiss her forehead.