Work Text:
Professor Venomous was bored. Mind-numbingly and soul-wrenchingly bored, to the point he was falling asleep at his desk, head nodding forward every few seconds. He was in the middle of a conference call that was droning on and on with no sense that anyone would be wrapping up anytime soon, as the villains kept shouting over one another.
He groaned and dropped his head on the desk with a solid thunk! praying for some kind of distraction.
“Pssssst! Proffessssor!” Boxman's had peeked in through the door (despite the sign that read DO NOT DISTURB) and was whisper-shouting while waving vigorously to get his attention. Venomous raised an eyebrow and Boxman gestured to a list he was holding, mouthing something.
“What? It’s on mute.” The Proffesor mumbled.
“Oh. We’re out of a bunch of stuff so I’m going grocery shopping! Do...you want me to pick anything up?” Boxman asked, twisting the list in his hands.
Venomous smiled, propping himself back up on his arm. “We’re out of milk, and that cereal Fink likes.”
“Super Sugar O’s?”
“That's the one.”
“Cob, she’s gonna rot her teeth with that stuff!”
Venomous chuckled. “Which is why I hide it on the top shelf. Thank you, Boxman.”
“O-oh not a problem! We’re sharing a h-home now so we run out of stuff a lot faster-”
Venomous let Boxman ramble on, amused by his blushing and flailing while he pondered whether or not he should just ditch the call entirely. It wouldn’t be the first time and he was about to interject and ask if Boxman needed help when Cosma’s voice broke through the din.
“Professor Venomous! Anything you’d like to contribute?”
The professor groaned in annoyance, shooing Boxman away with one hand while he pressed the microphone button with the other.
“Not really, Cosma. Everyone else seems to be contributing plenty.”
The roboticist waved goodbye and whispered ‘good luck’ as he left. Venomous smiled and leaned back, rolling his eyes as Cosma scolded him for not offering a solution to whatever the problem of the week was. He only half paid attention for the next hour, commenting every few minutes to show he was still there.
Cob, it’s like being in school. Venomous thought, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Okay look.” He cut off whoever was speaking, standing up to pace by the adult beverage cabinet.
“We’ve been at this for nearly three hours and have gotten nowhere. We’re all clearly tired, so I suggest we take a break and regroup in an hour or so.”
A chorus of grumbled “all rights” ‘s and “sounds good” ‘s crackled through the phone and Venomous sighed in relief as people signed off.
He grabbed a bottle and a glass from the cabinet. It’s almost impossible to get anything done with these morons. Venomous thought as he sunk back into the chair. He poured just a bit more than a shot and sipped it slowly, enjoying the quiet.
I should have just left with Boxman...buying groceries would have been ten times more productive than this nonsense. Venomous sat up as his cell phone buzzed. “Speak of the devil.” He chuckled.
[Out of Supr SUgar 0s, got Starry Pops???]
[Those should be fine.]
[Is it over]
[?]
[No, just taking a break. I’m exhausted and we’re not getting anything done.]
[yea that seems abut right!]
[Lol.]
[c u soon! <3]
Venomous tapped the side of the phone with a claw, fingers hovering over sending a heart emoji in response. Boxman was always so open and passionate about his endeavors, and while it was one of his better qualities the Professor always felt like he had to hold back.
He sighed and settled on not responding at all, downing the rest of his drink instead.
This shouldn’t be this difficult; I know he likes me and I know I like him. All one of us has to do is say it. We’re both mature adults.
Venomous let out a harsh laugh. Mature was a strong word for Boxman's antics. But, of the two of them, the cyborg would probably be the first to admit anything. Which only made Venomous feel even more foolish for delaying.
He sighed and poured another shot. Their partnership had proven to be incredibly beneficial as the months had gone on, and the other villains loathed that Voxmore was thriving, both financially and in terms of power. It wouldn't be long before they’d have to let him in on meetings and cc him in emails, though that was probably still a long way off from happening.
It’s probably for the best. Boxy can barely sit still for a movie, let alone a four-hour-long meeting. Venomous paused and gripped the glass tighter, claws scraping against the crystal as he realized the nickname he’d just given his business partner.
This stuff is stronger than I thought. Nobody could see him, but he threw the shot back and blushed into the crook of his arm.
I should just say something. Worst-case scenario is that things are a little awkward for a while. He won’t kick us out and he won’t get mad. Probably.
“Uggh.” Uncertainty was not a common thing Venomous felt but now it trickled through his mind like ice water. The sensible thing to do would be to drop the whole thing, hold Boxman and his robot children at arms length, and keep things strictly professional.
But the non-sensible thing opened up so many more doors. Blowing up Billiams yacht together, attacking the plaza with convoluted schemes, taking the family to the beach. The thought made Venomous smile wistfully.
But the sensible thing was for the best, really. For both of them.
But not nearly as fun.
Venomous lowered his arm and stared at the bottle in front of him for a few moments before exhaling deeply.
“I’m just gonna do it.” He said aloud.
He looked up when he heard the combined excited shouting of the robots and Fink coming from the living room. “Boxman must be back.” He mumbled.
And it was at that moment that Professor Venomous realized that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn't have been doing shots of straight vodka while in the middle of a meeting.
“Well, shit.” He said.
He quickly stored the bottle and glass back in the cabinet, jumping when Boxman opened the door with an exclamation of “I’m baaack!”
“Hi! Hey! Ahem…” Venomous straightened and tried to appear casually leaning on the desk. “The trip went well then, I’m guessing?”
“Oh,yeah! Fink uh...did manage to grab the box, so...we have that to look forward to. Unless Darrell can catch her.” Boxman said, looking worriedly past the door.
“Which I doubt.” Venomous chuckled. “But maybe he can convince her to only eat one bowl before dinner. Boxman I...uhhh.” The Professor cleared his throat and straightened up, tucking an arm behind his back as he did so.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something. It’s nothing serious!” He added quickly when he noticed the panicked look overtake the other man's face. “Although I...suppose that depends on how you take it. I’ve bee having these….well, feelings for a while now, and I feel it would be a disservice to myself and you to ignore them any longer.”
Yech. That was cheesy. Venomous thought, wincing internally.
Boxmans was twisting his hands in his coat, non-robotic eye darting around the room and then to the desk.
“Are you um...sure we sh-”
“Please just...let me say this.” Venomous interrupted.
Boxman still looked uneasy but nodded, folding his hands in front of him in an excellent demonstration of patience.
Venomous sighed, readying himself. “Boxman, these last few months working alongside and living with you have been wonderful. You’ve been a gracious host, a caring co-parent, and an amazing villain. Fink loves the others, and your passion continues to inspire me.”
“Aw shucks.” Boxman fidgeted, blushing.
Venomous placed his hands on the smaller mans shoulders, blushing himself when he felt Boxman stiffen. “I’m not really a man of words, so forgive me if this comes off as cold. I like you, Boxman. Quite a bit. More than I like most people, actually, which is surprising because I really don’t care for most people.”
Venomous had been only glancing at Boxman at this point, fearful that looking directly at him would make both of them panic. “What I’m saying is-”
“Yes.” Boxman said.
“Uhh. Pardon?” Venomous asked, pausing.
“Whatever it is, yes. Absolutely. Without question. As the kids say, fo’ sho.”
“...really? I could be asking you to, I don’t know, surrender the company and you’d just be fine with that?” Venomous laughed.
“Well yeah! Love...makes you do stupid things.” Boxman blushed.
“...I think that was the smoothest thing you have ever said to me.” Venomous murmured.
Boxman looked like he was about to short circuit and Venomous was still reeling from just how relieved he felt. He smiled, opening his arms for a hug and Boxman gasped happily, joyfully embracing him.
“So...you’re really okay with...trying to...maybe try this?” Venomous murmured. “Of course! I couldn’t think of anything I’d want more in the world! Huh. Why do you smell like vodka?” Boxman asked leaning back slightly, hands still secure around the taller mans thin form.
“Part boredom, part liquid courage.” The Professor responded.
“Oh. Well, I’ve got to admit, I’m surprised you were willing to do this in front of the others.”
“The kids are watching movies in the living room. But yes, we will have to tell them eventually.” Venomous said.
“No, I meant the other villains.”
Venomous stared blankly down at Boxman.
“On the call. On the phone.” He continued.
“The mics off, Boxman, they can’t hear us.” Voxman chuckled.
“I’m pretty sure they can. The lights green, and last I checked that means it's on.”
“...on Cob?” Venomous asked, cold blood running colder.
“Y...yeah. Maybe they um...maybe they're all gone…?”
“Oh no , we’re still here. And a few of you here owe me money.” Cosma said.
“We had a pool going, if that wasn’t clear.” Someone else added.
The agreement and grumbles of the other villains chimed in as money was exchanged, and Cosma said; “You still aren’t off the hook though. Now back to the meeting-”
Venomous opened his lab coat and pulled out a small laser gun (as one should always carry) and shot the phone.
“...oh.” Boxman said. “I was gonna just yank out the cord but that works to.”
“Yep. Now, could I tempt you to join me on a dinner date? Just the two of us? My treat.” Venomous asked as he tucked the weapon away, smiling.
“I would adore it! And maybe we should pick up a new phone, on the way.”
“That's...fair.”